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clique
hey, i used to be the former leader of my clique at school. then for some reason the people that i used to lead became retarded and started acting dumb. so i have a new group of people now, but everyone is pretty much individuals. like i wouldnt be able to boss them around. basically they wouldnt let me lead them. what should i do.
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I recommend leaving your group. Those bunch of individuals are outta control and don't want to be under your commmand!
But seriously, if you like them then just learn to adapt. If self rule is their way, start using that instead of being the leader.
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Get out of the clique while you still have part of your sanity and find something else to boss around. A group of pet rocks maybe? They will always go where you put them.
Really though, if this is a serious question....
Do you really want to be the boss? If so read the book on how to win friends and influance people.
You'll be the boss in your own way, but also a great friend.
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it sounds like most of the other answers have addressed the "you shouldn't boss your friends around" thing, so i'll try to advise about something else. ^_^
you say your new group of friends is a group of individuals. what do you mean when you say that? do you mean individual in the sense that they're cynical goth/emo non-conformists, or cool laid-back beatnik theatre people, or rebellious libertarian punk-rockers, or free-spirited new-agey hippie-folk, etc.?? i don't really have a specific point here, i just want you to think about the kind of people you're hanging out with and where you fall within the categories of individualism.
also, why do you want to boss people around? do you have some overwhelming need to be the one power, or do you feel like you need to be in charge and in control to feel like you have power over your life, or do you feel like nothing will get done if you don't take charge? again, i'm not saying you fall under any of those, i'm just giving you something to think about.
another tidbit of wisdom from someone who is (i'm guessing) older and more experienced: cliques don't last; they seperate and segregate people; they create artificial hierarchies that give the nobles an empty sense of belonging and the monarchs the illusions of grandeur, power, and often, self-worth that they don't think they can find anywhere else.
here are two websites you might want to check out. now, i don't think of enneagrams and other personality tools as the end-all-be-all, but at the very least, they're interesting and tell you a lot about yourself. not just what you like to do and how you learn things, but with enneagrams especially you learn more about what you want and what you fear, how you interact with others, and how you think about things. so go on, take the enneagram test at [Link](Mouse over link to see full location), and try out some of the tests on [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
remember to answer honestly and you might be surprised at what you'll find. if i had to guess, i would probably say you were an 8, or possibly a 4 with a 3-wing, or a 3 with a 4-wing, but most likely an 8 i think.
and on a side note, it's not exactly leaderly, or even particularly nice, of you to be calling your former group of "followers" retarded and dumb. maybe that's why they didn't want to "follow" you anymore, because you belittled and insulted them. a hard truth to hear? yeah. it is. but it's still a truth, and you need to hear it, and you need to come to grips with it, accept it, learn from it, and change.
take my advice and go take that enneagram. go have your "individualist group" take it. see what you all get. if they're a bunch of 3/4s and 4/3s i wouldn't be surprised. and again, there's nothing wrong with being any of those things, and the 4 in me says you can't be defined by a number. ^_^ it's only bad when you're an unhealthy 4, or whatever number you are. the enneagram is only a tool; you're the one who has to make the changes.
hope this helped. good luck!
~*kitty*~
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I have to say I think this question has to be a joke. It seems like you are like those stupid girls in "Mean Girls". People are not dumb if they don't want to be friends with a dictative, bossy person. If anything they are smart. No one wants to be friends with someone that tells them what to do, acts like they are better than them, and always wants their way. You seem extremely selfish and stuck on yourself. You act like people should be run by one person, and that people shouldn't be themselves. No one needs someone to "lead" them and tell them what to do all the time. If they wanted that, they would hang out with their parents and teachers all the time. You obviously are not a good friend, and this causes you to have trouble keeping friends. My best advice for you is to get therapy to find out why you are have such a bossy and abusive attitude towards people and independence in general.
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I hope you just said this wrong. If you want to be the leader of your group of friends... start by being a good friend - and not bossing them around. A good leader listens more than they talk. Keep it simple and make plans for a fun event and if you're a good friend to start with they will follow.
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Let them be individuals, and be one yourself. Maybe your old group 'became retarded and started acting dumb' because they resented being bossed around. Make a new start with these people, and try being yourself and let others do the same. Hope it works out
God bless
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you're kidding right?
right?
although i don't support your actions. i reccommend blackmail.
or bribes.
control them with dirty little secrects and a webs of lies.all the things that will blow up in your face.
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being able to boss people around isnt the key to a good friendship. the people in your new group want to think for themselves, which is a very good quality. just be their <b>friend</b>. all make decisions together.
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