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Hey, guys! I'm a 17 year old female and I figured since you all are caregivers yourselves, this would be a good place to seek advice for this particular issue...
I've been dating a girl for about 6 months now, and I love her with all my heart. However, she is severely depressed and I've had some struggles coping with it. I try my very best to do all I can for her. I keep her on the phone when she's feeling particularly down, I listen when she needs to rant or express her emotions, I will drop everything to run to her side if she is in a bad place (this resulted in me ditching two classes once), and I even wrote a short story in which I characterized her as a superhero once.
However, I am a person who very easily can become too involved with others' problems, and I'll often turn their negative emotions into my own by accident. I've been feeling down and on edge lately, and constantly worrying and caring for my girlfriend has drained me. She is an amazing person (very artistically and academically talented, as well as sweet, funny, and extremely strong willed), and none of this is her fault even in the slightest. I'm just worried because I'm afraid that my exhaustion is causing me not to take care of her as well as I normally can, and also I'm concerned about my OWN health. Any tips? (link)
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If she's depressed, she's needs professional help.
She won't get any better until she does. And until then, she will be draining your energy more and more.
It's obvious you love her and it's good to be supportive. But you need to take care of yourself first. You can't help others until you help yourself. You have to be number one priority in your life. You can't skip classes for someone. If she's causing all this, it's just going to get worse.
I'm not saying you should break up with her. But this is something serious and she needs help. Nothing is going to change until she does.
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I've known this guy for 3 years now, we were friends first and now we're dating. We've always liked each other and always had a spark. Problem is he has a baby mama. He has a 5 year old child with her and sees the kid once a week. He told her about me and everyone he knows, knows that I'm his girlfriend. Here's what I don't like: He usually sees the child with the baby mama. Like they'll both go to the arcade or both go out with the kid. This bothers me, am I wrong for feeling this way? I'm having suspicions he might be cheating although he hasn't done anything to make me feel this way and I have trust issues from previous relationships. What should I do? (link)
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Yeah you're over reacting a bit.
You're dating a guy who has a child. Which means that child has a mother and it's a package deal.
I think it's good that he can spend time with both of them. They can be civil and spend time with their child. You've probably seen exes that have kids together that can't even stand to see each other. Which puts the child in a tough situation.
So you'll have to put your feelings aside in this situation because she will always be in his life. It's good for the child that they all hang out together. There's nothing wrong with it.
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25 female
I have a date Friday night with this guy I met that goes to my school . He is 21 and one of his friends is going wiih us because neither one of us can drive so he will be doing the driving . The date will be at Burger King . I Know not very fancy for a first date but its fine with me but I dont know what to wear to wear. I am also a little concerned becauase I dont know his friend anf i wanted to know if it would be rude to turn down the rife offer and have my cousin to drop me off? (link)
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It wouldn't be rude to turn down the ride and just tell him you'll have your cousin drop you off.
Don't do anything you're not comfortable with.
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I'm a 22 year old male college student in California, (won't specify where) and for the longest time, I've been feeling very trapped in this college environment. I go to a school where they focus on casual sex, partying, etc. a lot, and as an introvert, I've always felt left out and actually a bit angry about the people around me. Especially since I haven't even kissed a girl for over four years.
However, just recently last week, I hooked up with a random girl from a club. Even though she was pretty, and I seemingly got what I wanted after all this time, I STILL feel unfulfilled, unhappy, and empty. I still feel the same way about the town I live in. I just want to move out of the state someone a little colder, more personal, and more genuine. Even after hooking up with a girl, I don't feel anything, I still feel lost, empty, and a bit sad. Why is this? (link)
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If you're going to school for something you want, then that should be good motivation. And if you can't transfer somewhere else, then you should find some way to make yourself happy with where you are at.
The only thing that is holding you back is yourself. So if you're stuck there for the time being, make the most of it.
I think you should find things you use to love doing. Join clubs that interest you and make friends with people who are more like you. I'm positive you're not the only person at that school that is not into partying and casual sex.
So if you can't leave where you are at, go and make the most of it. That's the best advice I can give you.
I can't really tell you why you feel the way you do. Maybe because you're not going out of your way to find what you really want? Or maybe you're just not in the right environment? I can't tell you, but just try new things and try to enjoy what you do have.
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I want Shaylan, I want Josh, and I want Jay. I just don't know what to do! They all offer me things.. Shaylan is in love with me and I've liked him since 5th grade (I'm a freshman in Highschool).. Josh is the sweetest thing ever and is in love with me, plus we're like best friends... And Jay is so hot and is willing to wait for my decision.. :'( and I need to make a decision fast before I loose all of them. (link)
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You figure out which one would be better for you and who you have feelings for.
You don't want to get with someone and end up thinking about someone else. Once you make your decision, that is your decision and you can't get with anyone else.
Figure out what you're looking for in a guy and see if any of these guys have what you're looking for.
Besides the usual of them being hot or nice guys, you need more to go off of.
How do they treat you? How do they treat their friends? How do they treat their family? How do they talk about their family? How is their work ethic? If they don't have a job, how do they do in school?
Is he a positive guy? You don't want to date someone who is a negative person and is always complaining.
Is he mature? I know you're in high school and it's hard to find mature guys. But does he act his age? For example, you don't want a guy that is always involved in drama.
Anyways, just think of things that you would want in a guy, important things.
You do not need to make a decision fast. Don't let any of them pressure you to make a decision fast. If they like you, you won't lose them.
Take your time and figure out who you like and who will be best for you. If you can't decide, then it's probably best not to date any of them and just get to know them some more.
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I've been counting calories on-and-off for probably 3 years now. I've always kind of thought I had anorexia, but I started counting calories again in September and still am. Here's the problem.
I don't know why, but I eat at planned times and such. Then I look forward to it. My mind is focused on food ALL THE TIME. For example; I eat a breakfast sometime in the morning, depending when I wake up. I eat lunch in the 12:00 hour. I may have a snack at 2 or 3PM. Then dinner at 5-6PM, and I usually binge on a snack later at night. Anyway, why do I always look forward to the times I get to eat? Could this be a binge eating disorder? That makes me feel even worse. I count calories (I'm an extreme master at it, honestly) every day. 1,000 is my absolute limit. On average, I eat between 600-800 calories. I get literally no exercise at all since I'm homeschooled and I have a lot of mental health problems (What a surprise..). Anyway, what is wrong with me? Is it maybe because this is really the only eventful thing of my day? I'm 5'2 or 5'3 and I weigh around 93 pounds. (link)
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It's not anorexia. Anorexia is not eating at all. But it sounds like you might have some sort of eating disorder and it's best if you go see a doctor about it instead of trying to diagnose yourself over the internet. None of us are doctors so we can't tell you for sure.
Either way, you wrote to us. And there's a reason you wrote to us. It's because you know this isn't normal and something is wrong.
Eating 1000 calories a day isn't healthy. You could really damage your health by eating this way. And on top of that, you don't exercise. It doesn't sound like you take very good care of yourself.
So since you already know something is wrong, you need to see a doctor and get diagnosed. They can help you fix the problem and then you'll feel much better and you won't be obsessing over food.
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Hey so um, I've been trying to do something special for my girlfriend, and I think I found something good to do. She told me what school she goes to, ( we go to different schools ) so I looked it up and I found the schools number. I know it sounds COMPLETELY stupid, but I think it might be romantic if I made like a little announcement on the speaker phone sayin something sweet or something. I know it's a dumb idea, but you see I really love her, and she knows that, I'm just a dumb guy tryin to do something special for his girlfriend. Honestly, I think it's great but I'm wondering if it's the best thing to do, should I? (link)
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I don't think it's a good idea. You never know how she'd react to something like that. She could either think it's great and sweet or she could be embarrassed.
So I'd stick to something you know she'd love. Maybe get her flowers or write her a cute love note. All girls appreciate those kinds of things.
You don't have to do something huge, just do something you know she'd like.
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18 F
Months ago I was able to call the most beautiful girl that's ever been in my life, mine. Sadly we parted ways but still remained somewhat in contact. We would occasionally talk, interact on social media, just never face to face. Today I asked her if it would be okay now to hang out and she said she to be honest she'd probably feel uncomfortable.
What I fail to understand is that she made it clear at one point I was the only one that still had feelings. Not ashamed of that, but now I don't have feelings for her and she still isn't sure we can be friends?
While dating she taught me so much. Like self care, and how to generally be happy. I've grown so much in the past few months with her and with out her and it kills me to think I'm going to lose her completely. I accept the fact that we can't become lovers again but being friends would be so much better than not having her in my life at all.
I'm not sure what I'm asking, maybe just some reading some thoughts on this would help me. (link)
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This is pretty much the ball is in her court. So even though you'd still like to be friends and hang out with her, she's unsure about it and she gets to be the one to decide.
To be honest, she probably thinks you still have feelings for her. She probably doesn't understand what an impact she made on your life that you'd still like to have a friendship.
Or she would just feel uncomfortable hanging out just for the reason that you guys dated. Some people just can't be friends with their exes. Maybe she's one of them.
You can possibly make it clear there's no feelings. But there isn't much else you can do but give her more time.
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I believe I am highly under the influence of greed. I have been using my parents credit card for a game that I often play and I need to know if I should tell them or lie to keep myself out of trouble. What should I do and how should I do it? (link)
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You realize it's their credit card? So they can see the transactions on there. They'll look and see what it's being spent on.
It's not your money so stop spending it.
You won't be keeping yourself out of trouble. Go tell them. You wouldn't be asking this if you didn't know it was wrong.
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I'm fourteen and I'm dating a seventeen year old boy. We've been dating for a month and the other day he fingered me and I gave him a hand-job but it was all in the moment so I didn't even have time to think if I was ready for it or not. I'm scared to go against his needs but he tells me all the time to tell him if we are going too fast. He keeps hinting now on sex jokes and I never know how to respond. Does that mean he wants to have sex soon? What do I do? (link)
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You need to decide what you're ready for. What is ok with you and what is not ok with you.
If you need time to think about it, and think about if you're ok with hand jobs and all that, then tell him you need some time to think about what you're ready for.
He seems like he would respect your decision since he asks you if you guys are going too fast.
As long as he respects what you say, then it's fine.
Sex is probably on his mind. He's a boy and you're already sexually active with him. So if you're ok with where you're at with him, and you're not ready to go any further, then talk to him.
This relationship won't work if you won't be honest about how you feel.
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I have a boyfriend of almost four years, who is basically everything that I want in a man. He is mannerly, polite, good in bed (he is the only man who I ever slept with, who was truly able to make me cum – out of three other sexual partners that I had), and loves me, as I love him.
He is the kind of guy, who not only drove all the way out of his way to pick my family for my cousin’s wedding, but helped my mom who was carrying around a cane at the time get around during my cousin’s wedding day. Not only that, but he stayed at my cousin’s wedding until he was told to go home, even though he was really sick.
It’s really little things like that, that tell me how much he loves me. The one time he bought me pads, after he took me out to breakfast, because I had left my card at his house. I was sick over winter break, and I could tell that he was concerned. When I thought that I was pregnant at first, instead of freaking out, he worried that I was just really sick or stressed. It’s like things like that. We have this amazing dynamic and he is the one who I want to spend my life with.
Another thing I look for in a guy is someone who has a successful future ahead of him. Since I am in my twenties this either means someone who is in the service, going to school, or who graduate college, in my opinion. My boyfriend loves numbers and is majoring in accounting, he is graduating in May of this year. The two of us have talked about getting married. We want each other. We need to be in each other’s lives.
I’m serious about this guy enough that I want to marry him. He said that he wants to ask me one day, just not yet. I’ve decided that I’m going to propose to him, with a cheaper ring that I want to get engraved with our names on it. Basically, this will not mean the phases of starting to plan a wedding, but sort of pre-engagement, like we’re entering into a contract that we’re going to get engaged… I guess. I do want the traditional thing where I wear the engagement ring, lol. I know that’s want he wants too.
We have a significant problem – he knows that this is a problem, but for some reason he cannot break it. He doesn’t call me every day. When I try calling him, he never answers. Neither does he text me back right away when I text him. He’s admitted that he’s socially awkward, he really doesn’t have much friends other than on World of Warcraft and on nights that he plays Magic the Gathering, so I don’t know if he just has a really rough time with building relationships, and he’s also admitted that he can be lazy.
He has suggested other ways around this. Promising me that he would get better, and I think that it something that he wants to work on. He even suggested that we try Skyping.
I have talked to other girls in the past about this, and they all say that if their boyfriend did that to them, they would dump him. I have made up my mind that I don’t want to leave him, but I do want this mannerism to change. I know that you can’t change a person but because a behaviorism, I think it’s something that can be trained into him.
He has admitted that he’s socially awkward and I’m the first girl who he’s dated for over a year. He also admits that he can be very lazy. Truthfully, I’m less experienced than he is – he is only my third boyfriend. I’m like his fifth or sixth girlfriend, and, like, the seventh or eighth girl who he’s slept with. Before him I dated a guy for 5 months, and then I also dated another guy for a little over a month.
When we first started dating he would call me every night. Now, his phone calls have turned into less and less. I used to threaten to leave him for this in an attempt to counter this, but he got frustrated with me one day for saying that, he told me, “Never do that again. If you’re going to break up with me then just do it.”
My boyfriend only says things like that when he’s really upset about something, when he’s hurt he masks it by acting really angry, and occasionally mean. When things aren’t as rough, he never acts like that. That’s something I can live with.
That same day his grandmother was starting her chemotherapy, she had just recently been diagnosed with lung cancer a few weeks prior. They had also found out that the cancer had spread through her body. So, really, things were not looking bright at that point.
Now, that it’s getting worse, I really just want to be there for him. Also, I’m so stressed out right now. I haven’t seen him in a while because I was sick over my winter break, and he wanted for me to find out what was wrong with me before I traveled anywhere. He was angry that I chose not to go to the hospital. I had a yeast infection and a bacterial infection. I think that it was the result of a hormonal imbalance, since it seems better after me going on birth control.
This semester is not easy for me, because I decided to take 18 credits, including an independent study and my thesis tutorial. Both of which I have to do a lot of work in. I’m concern that I’m going to get distracted, if I travel down there, so I really need for him to make this effort in order for us to stay together. Granted, spending time together is highly important but communication is even more so.
I travel to see him because I have a bed to sleep in after I get there. I live in my grandmother’s house and she will not let him stay the night. Thus, he would have to spend $45 in tolls to see me for a few hours, and then drive all the way back home. That would be a 2 hour drive on a good day, longer on a bad day. Personally, I don’t mind travelling down there because I love sleeping next to him.
How do I get him to improve on this?
(link)
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First of all, you can't make someone change. No matter what it is, if he wants to, he will. You can't train him, he'd have to want to.
I also think it's stupid girls would dump their boyfriends just for them not calling them all the time.
He sounds like a great guy. He sounds like he loves you and you sound like you love him. In the beginning of relationships, you'll always hear from them. They'll always want to call you and talk to you and that's great. Later on the feelings change and they won't feel the need to call you all the time. And there is nothing wrong with that. I know so many guys who don't care for texting or talking on the phone. My ex used to call me all the time in the beginning of the relationship, eventually, he stopped and same with some other guys I dated. Some guys just aren't that into it.
I don't think it's necessary for him to call you every day. He doesn't need to text you back right away.
As long as he makes an effort to text you back and call you every once in awhile, you should be fine. I don't see why you think he needs to call you every day.
If he just isn't a guy who likes talking on the phone, then he just isn't. As long as he does it every once in awhile because you like to talk on the phone, then there's compromise.
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pardon the title, I couldn't think of anything better to title this.
so to make a long story short, my best friend's gone to another school and as happy as I am for her, I miss her so much already. Call it stupid but it's true. She was the one who got me through my worst moments, kept me stable, kept me smiling...she was the best of me. I know you're all going to be thinking "it's a part of life" but listen, try to see this from my perspective. She's the one who made me happy and as cliche as this sounds, she was the best part of me and I couldn't thank her enough for everything she's done for me. She never found out (or so I believe she never knew) how I really felt about her. I liked her at first glance and after awhile, I fell in love with her. It's better she didn't know because she was taken any way and I respect her enough to back off. It's pretty stupid I'm crying over the fact we're apart....we said our goodbyes today and I'm going to miss her. I don't know what to do about people asking me about her. I'm scared I'll break down in front of them (link)
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It's normal. And I'm sure you know this.
This is a loss. There are tons of ways we lose people and no matter what, each loss will hurt.
So it'll take time, but you'll feel better eventually.
Give yourself time to heal. I'm sure you'll see her again someday or at least keep in touch.
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Hi! I'm a 14-year-old girl and I've been feeling really weird lately. Everything that I'm about to list has been going on for about a month now: I cry over EVERYTHING. For example: My dad said to stop playing guitar because I was too loud and he was trying to work so I went to my room and cried. I've been really irritable as well. I do have a generally short fuse but now it's even worse; I've even been going off on my parents occasionally (which I feel terrible about afterward). My little sister even decided not to share a bedroom with me because I was constantly yelling. I've been eating and sleeping way more as well. I had a relatively healthy diet in the past, but now I get home from school and eat a bag of popcorn, a pop tart, crackers, chocolate, and anything else I can get my hands on. I get super drowsy and just kind of lay down wherever I am whether that be the floor, a chair, a bed. I'm wide awake throughout the day but I get home and it's like school drained me of my life. I use to really like school. I don't like a lot of things that I use to like. I'm openly rude to all of my friends and I don't want to be around them. I sit in the bathroom and read during lunch periods sometimes. Speaking of reading, I only feel okay when I'm reading or on my blog. What's wrong with me?? (link)
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It's most likely puberty since you're only 14.
But I agree with adviceman to go see a doctor just to make sure that it is just that and there's nothing else going on. Better safe than sorry.
I mean you don't want to keep acting like this because it can ruin relationships and even your health since you're eating pretty bad.
What helps is exercising. Dance, run, just do whatever to get moving. It'll help. Even if you feel super tired from school, you'll feel better afterwards. And watch what you eat.
Exercise releases endorphin's. People with depression are told to exercise because it helps.
Keep your head up, and be careful with what you do and say to people as well. Take care of yourself.
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Does anyone have any ideas for what to do for Valentine's Day when you and your boyfriend (college students) are flat broke? I'm talkin' scraping change off the floorboard of your car broke. Is there anything we can do that doesn't cost money? Should we float Valentine's Day until we can afford to celebrate it well? Is there a way we can get some money (even just a little) fast? (link)
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I'd say just do something special with each other.
Go have a picnic, or go for a long walk and pick flowers. Or spend it inside cuddling and watching movies.
If you want to get him something, you can look on Pinterest and look at the cheap ideas. You can be really creative and make him something.
If anything, just make him a cute card and spend the day with him.
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iam 15yrs of age.i have a friend,my best friend.we went to thesame collage infact we do alot of thing together. But he never mentioned that he love me.yesterday he called me and ask me to meet him in motel which i did when i got there he told me that he loves me and will want me to be his girlfriend. i was speechless for 30 minute and i told him dat i will think about it.what should i tell him? (link)
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If you feel the same and you want to date him, then say yes. If you don't, then say no.
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Ok so my ex bf and I broke up in January. I met him two weeks ago so he could help me with my car. The whole time he kept touching me and we were really acting like couples until be pulled out his phone and showed me a pic of a girl on his phone saying how that's his girl. I was upset on the inside but I still didn't let him know I was was. The whole time we kept acting like a couple. We didn't kiss though or anything. So yesterday we were messaging back and forth. He claimed how he showed me the pic of the girl just so that he could get on my nerves. I spoke to him today, he told me that right now he's too busy with school and work and that he doesn't want a relationship right now. We both go to the same college. I tried to be supportive because I still want to be with him and he also said he'll let me know when he decide if he still wants us to be together again. I asked him if he claimed he was too busy for me because he was dating someone and I also asked about the picture of the girl. He said "the picture is my business don't worry about that". I'm so confuse right now because I feel like just maybe he broke things off with me just to be with her. When we were together everything was fine. I just don't know why the sudden changes toward me that led to the breakup. I really do want to get back with him but not right now after this semester ends in May. Any ideas? Please help (link)
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Ugh I'm really turned off by this guy.
He can say as many excuses as he wants, but he already knows you haven't moved on and you still want to be with him. You guys act all like a couple then he pulls out his phone and shows you a pic of another girl. Sounds like a sweet guy.
And now he'll let you know if he ever decides if he wants to get back together with you. But he's seeing another girl and hey, if things don't work out with her, you'll be waiting.
He showed you a pic of her then says, "the picture is my business, don't worry about that"
Don't wait for him to decide if he wants you or not. Please look for someone who doesn't pull things like this to "get on your nerves".
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I raped someone I want to turn myself in immediately. Tell me what I need to do. I need to be punished. I will not say how it happen and why. I can't make up any excuses. I was drunk but it doesn't change anything. The person who was hurt doesn't want to do anything and prefers to just forget and move on, but I can't . I need to be punished and I want to turn myself in. The person wouldn't have to worry about trial or publicity. I just need to know what I have to prepare for. (link)
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They'll probably need to talk to the other person involved to know what happened. If the other person doesn't want to be involved or denies it, then I'm not sure if you can turn yourself in.
If you still can, and you feel like you need to, then go turn yourself in.
If you can't, then I'd suggest going to therapy. I think it will help you heal and move on from this as well. If the person wants to move on and forget, just respect them.
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I haven't been on this site for literally years but I thought someone here could help me. I can't go to my friend with this because I've told her similar things before and she immediately says the worst, like he is cheating and hiding things from me.
I'd really like someone else's opinion, please.
I've been with my boyfriend for over a year now, and he is 21 and I am 20. I basically live with him and I'm with him pretty much all the time. BUT I can never touch his phone. He literally fights me over it if I get ahold of it. He also has two phones. He says one is for games and the other is for calling and texting. I've been on the games one before freely with his permission. The other one I have only been on when I snuck around when he was sleeping, and I did find horrible heart-crushing things on it. He was talking to multiple girls, and even in sexual ways. He told one girl that he was going to have sex with her when he visited another state and she was agreeing to it.
Talking to him about it, he denied everything I said and said he was never actually going to have sex with her.
(This wasn't the first time I saw him talking to other people. A couple months before he was talking to his ex, who we went through terrible things with. She is psycho and I don't know why he'd even think about talking to her. I guess she was hard to let go.)
I've accused him before of continuing to talk to other girls, calling them beautiful, deleting the messages after, etc. He gets extremely mad, yells at me, and leaves the room. I can recall this happening 3 times where I'm seriously crying and scared of him.
It seems like every day I see on his phone a pop-up saying a girl accepted his friend request. I ask him and he says its someone he knew from where he lived before, and he had a lot of friends who were girls. But all of them are like... Beautiful, have lots of likes on their pictures(from him too), and.. ya know? Like, they don't seem like real girls. But their location sure enough says where he is from. BUT who even has that many friends? He adds a LOT of girls. "That request is from a long time ago." Yeah, okay.
He also used to take his phone in the shower with him. I say USED TO because he doesn't shower when I'm there anymore, I'm assuming because I confronted him about it.
One last thing, I was on his games phone and went on his Facebook to see him telling another girl she's "so beautiful" and then later, it was gone. He doesn't remember it all at. So, I know he deletes everything. And, of course, denies it.
I'm sorry this is so long. If someone can give their opinion on this, like how I can help the situation or help fix these problems we have, I'd be very appreciative. I really do love him. Taking away all of these things I mentioned above, he does NOT seem like someone who would cheat. I know him really well. But all of this is beyond my mind. (link)
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Even if he's not physically going out and cheating on you, his heart isn't with you.
It's not like you guys have just been together for a couple months, you guys have been together for over a year. At that point he should know whether he wants all of you or not. And it doesn't sound like he just wants you.
Maybe he's not cheating on you physically. But he's going to the borderline as far as he think he can without getting in any serious trouble. That would be enough for me to break up with him.
Besides that, you just don't trust him. Relationships don't work without trust and even if you guys talk about this more, if a text pops up on his phone later, you'll be wondering if it's a girl.
I believe you really love him, which is why you'd stay with him after he pulls all this crap. Because reading this, I would have not stayed, I wouldn't deal with someone talking about cheating on me and having sex with other girls. It's completely disrespectful and wrong.
You can't fix the situation because it's not about you. You're not the one with the problem. You've already tried talking to him, that's all you can do. He doesn't admit to it or think he's doing anything wrong so there's nothing else to do.
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I don't know whether I'm being silly or over-reacting but I just need to hear what other people think. Been with my boyfriend for over a year, things have been good. He's everything you'd want in a man- intelligent, focused, funny, and he a always does his best in every situation. We have loads in common, we truly get on like a house on fire.
There's been a few things which I felt the need to bring up over the year- mostly about not spending enough time together and also he wouldn't be overly emotive which I sometimes found hurtful. We've worked through these, mostly the spending time together, and everything was great. He's a reserved guy so I wasn't expecting him to be all lovey dovey all the time but it's very rare he is. Also in the bedroom, sex itself is good....but again he's reserved, and a bit selfish....he's never made me orgasm even though I've brought it up. It's like he doesn't want to change, and rarely wants to change up the moves in the bedroom- sorry if this is all TMI! I don't know if he realises how big of a deal this is for me because he usually does take things I say on board but I feel I shouldn't have to say this. He's not very experienced in this department so it could be that either.
He admits he doesn't love me yet, but has strong feelings for me....at this stage I would imagine he should feel stronger but am I just rushing him? I really really like him, he's the first person I've ever been with that I've had no doubts about, and I'm genuinely a much better and happier person when I'm with him, but just sometimes I feel we are more like friends. I've never felt that passion/fire from him...the feeling of 'having' to be with someone. Do you think because he is so reserved and not emotional I should just give him time or should I stop investing in this relationship? Thanks. (link)
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I wouldn't give up just yet. Every relationship moves at it's own pace and has it's own problems.
It's good that you bring things up with him, even if it's thing you feel like you shouldn't even have to bring up with him. But the thing is, guys can't read our minds so we need to say things, even if we think it should be the obvious thing to do.
Sit down with him and talk more. Tell him what you need from him. You want great sex and even though it might not be what he wants to do, he should do it for you to please you. It's not like it's something so strange and unheard of to make him that uncomfortable. We've all done things in bed that was strictly for our partners pleasure only, because some things, we just don't like.
He seems honest and it's good that he's not saying I love you just because you have.
In most cases people would feel stronger after this amount of time but each person is different so I'd give that time too. Plus when he does tell you he loves you, you really know it's a big deal.
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I'm in a close group of friends, and we've all known each other about 18 months, all roughly 20 years old. I've started to really really like one of my closest friends (lets refer to him as the guy- I'm a girl)- building up for the last 6 months or so, during which time we've definitely got closer. He's religious, so I don't know how he'd feel about a relationship, but oh well.
Problem is, one of my close friends (friend A) started to like him around the same time and was very vocal about it. All of our other friends know, she talks about it a lot (except in front of him) and has even kissed him briefly the other night (while drunk). He'd have to be blind not to know she likes him, but he could be trying not to lead her on, since she's most enthusiastic while drunk and has been known to sleep with strangers in that state. Another friend guessed I liked him almost before I knew but I laughed her guess away because I was surprised and kind of embarrassed at the time. I didn't realise how strongly I felt. Now everyone's encouraging friend A and it feels like its too late to talk to anyone.
I also really don't want to make friend A miserable, because she'd been in some bad relationships before. The guy is just hard to read, and I desperately want to keep the same friendship with them both, I just don't know if I'd manage it if they were together.
I don't know what to do. Should I talk to someone, or just hope/ assume I'll get over him? I should add that I'm living with them both, and will be probably for another year or two. (link)
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Since you guys are living together that changes things.
Even if your friend didn't like him, if I were you, I wouldn't go after him. Because you'll be living with him and if things end badly, you'll still be living with him and if you won't continue living with him, one of you guys will probably move out because of the situation.
So I'd just back off completely. I'd suggest moving on. If those two get together, then it might be hard on the living situation but as long as you're not in the middle of it, you'll make it out fine.
So just take care of yourself, move on and find someone else.
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