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I have no clue on what man to choose..


Question Posted Tuesday February 24 2015, 12:36 pm

I want Shaylan, I want Josh, and I want Jay. I just don't know what to do! They all offer me things.. Shaylan is in love with me and I've liked him since 5th grade (I'm a freshman in Highschool).. Josh is the sweetest thing ever and is in love with me, plus we're like best friends... And Jay is so hot and is willing to wait for my decision.. :'( and I need to make a decision fast before I loose all of them.

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Lilyadvice answered Sunday March 1 2015, 11:03 pm:
If you want to know who it is you like best, try all three. Now I'm not saying to have three boyfriends, I'm saying to tell them you don't know and want to try one date with each to see who it is you truly like best as a boyfriend. The decision won't be easy, but it might help narrow it down. Think of all the likes and dislikes you have of each one, and which one will cooperate the best. Make sure your family approves first, or you may make a choice and have your parents on your back. To start with, take two of the boys and get some paper and compare them. Then after you narrow it down do it again with the third. And talk to your friends and family and see who they prefer, and they will help you and tell their reason for picking him. Lots of luck👌

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Dragonflymagic answered Wednesday February 25 2015, 3:20 pm:
Lightoftruth has great advice and I would like to add to it. Even as a freshman, it is not too early to take seriously the making of a commitment to date someone. You're just starting the process of learning what guys you like and what you don't like and so, often, you can end up in the situation you're in, liking each guy for several traits.
You mention too of them being in love with you. You do not mention having any feelings back. Love might be too strong at word for you at this point, but who is it you have both a friend attraction and a romantic attraction to? In any long lasting and healthy happy adult relationship, both are needed and now in your teens is the time to learn for yourself why it's so important. Do not be afraid to think of hanging out with all of them at once, I have gone out with adult men after a divorce, telling each one I was not deciding yet to make a commitment to date just him, but rather that I was in the information gathering stage and checking out to see which guy I had the most in common with. When a guy knows you are wanting a boyfriend but have several vying for the position, you are the one in control and they know they better treat you right to hopefully win you over. Guys have no problem with this as long as you make it clear to them. If one of them has a low self image, he may beg and plead for you to choose him or just get angry. I had an adult male beg me to choose him. He lost due to lack of confidence and acting too needy. So don't worry, you don't have to make a decision yet but do explain where you are coming from and no, you won't lose all of them. If you do it right, you may get a chance to spend time with each of them alone to get to know them better. If still confused and not one stands out over the other, write me from my column, asking for my instructions on how to have a list of criteria to help in picking out a guy. I did this after a divorce to find my second husband, and it sure helped lots. Good luck sweetie.

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lightoftruth answered Tuesday February 24 2015, 9:06 pm:
You figure out which one would be better for you and who you have feelings for.
You don't want to get with someone and end up thinking about someone else. Once you make your decision, that is your decision and you can't get with anyone else.

Figure out what you're looking for in a guy and see if any of these guys have what you're looking for.
Besides the usual of them being hot or nice guys, you need more to go off of.
How do they treat you? How do they treat their friends? How do they treat their family? How do they talk about their family? How is their work ethic? If they don't have a job, how do they do in school?
Is he a positive guy? You don't want to date someone who is a negative person and is always complaining.
Is he mature? I know you're in high school and it's hard to find mature guys. But does he act his age? For example, you don't want a guy that is always involved in drama.

Anyways, just think of things that you would want in a guy, important things.

You do not need to make a decision fast. Don't let any of them pressure you to make a decision fast. If they like you, you won't lose them.
Take your time and figure out who you like and who will be best for you. If you can't decide, then it's probably best not to date any of them and just get to know them some more.

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