iam 15yrs of age.i have a friend,my best friend.we went to thesame collage infact we do alot of thing together. But he never mentioned that he love me.yesterday he called me and ask me to meet him in motel which i did when i got there he told me that he loves me and will want me to be his girlfriend. i was speechless for 30 minute and i told him dat i will think about it.what should i tell him?
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship? justlove answered Tuesday March 31 2015, 8:08 am: the answer depends on how you feel for him if you feel the same way then say yes. but if you don't turn him down but if you still want to be friends make sure to say you still want to keep the friendship but you just don't feel anything other then friendship for him. now if your confuse about your feelings here are some things to consider. have you ever seen him with other girls perhaps girls you don't know and they were having a good time if so how did it make you feel. can you see yourself introducing him to people as your boyfriend. if your not sure how you feel these are some things to consider. I wish you the best of luck [ justlove's advice column | Ask justlove A Question ]
Dragonflymagic answered Tuesday February 10 2015, 5:36 pm: The previous advice givers have told you the obvious, If you feel the same accept, if not, don't.
Now here are some things to consider that may help you make your decision.
Most loving,healthy long lasting relationships and marriages need two things as a solid foundation to survive, the first being each others best friend, the second, to be compatible sexually, having that chemistry/romance/passion and liking the same things, same libido.
With only one, not the other, it is a crippled relationship at best and not fulfilling to one or both partners at some point in the future.
So if you have someone who is already a best friend, thats half of it. You would have to feel some kind of attraction towards him, so do you find him handsome for a guy, even if not sure that you feel any passion for him?
The first step is that he be visually appealing for your tastes, otherwise, the answer is no.
There are two types of passion people experience, the first being the only one people feel certain of, when there is an instant blazing heat for each other from first meeting each other. All this tells me is that the two have the sexual side of the foundation but it is to be determined if they can become best friends and a good many don't and look for the next 'hot body' cus that's the only way they know to look for a partner.
The other meets someone who becomes their best friend. There isn't a sexual passion at first, but a mutual love as friends or how you love a sibling or parent. As time goes on, an ember, coal begins to glow and slowly gets stronger until a small blaze eventually works into a big fire or passion. Too many are afraid to explore this because they can't see in their minds how a best friend can also be your lover, well its only possible if you have chemistry. Theres ways to find out. Often I could tell with just a kiss if I wasn't sure otherwise. I met many guys before my 2nd husband who could've made best friends for me so I admired them that way but a kiss, not a quick peck but real kiss on the lips determined for me if there was enough chemistry to proceed or not. There's either a reaction of enjoying the kiss, or being turned off, disgusted with it as if you just kissed your dad that way.
So here at the end, if you are curious to find out if being his girlfriend would work for you, have an honest chat and let him know you love him as a friend but never had an instant passion for him at the beginning although you know that for some it can develop and grow over time so you aren't saying no but you are making no promises that it will last and work out either but you are willing to go for it and then ask for a kiss and see how it feels. Good luck dear. [ Dragonflymagic's advice column | Ask Dragonflymagic A Question ]
Midget13x answered Monday February 9 2015, 6:21 pm: Be careful, because he is your best friend, if things didn't work out between you two relationship wise,you could very well end up losing such a special friendship. But if you believe that you feel the same way towards him, go for it. The possibilities are endless. [ Midget13x's advice column | Ask Midget13x A Question ]
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