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Am I going too fast?
I'm fourteen and I'm dating a seventeen year old boy. We've been dating for a month and the other day he fingered me and I gave him a hand-job but it was all in the moment so I didn't even have time to think if I was ready for it or not. I'm scared to go against his needs but he tells me all the time to tell him if we are going too fast. He keeps hinting now on sex jokes and I never know how to respond. Does that mean he wants to have sex soon? What do I do?
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You need to decide what you're ready for. What is ok with you and what is not ok with you.
If you need time to think about it, and think about if you're ok with hand jobs and all that, then tell him you need some time to think about what you're ready for.
He seems like he would respect your decision since he asks you if you guys are going too fast.
As long as he respects what you say, then it's fine.
Sex is probably on his mind. He's a boy and you're already sexually active with him. So if you're ok with where you're at with him, and you're not ready to go any further, then talk to him.
This relationship won't work if you won't be honest about how you feel.
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That is a big age difference and that can be a very situation. You must be very careful. "Too fast" just depends on the person, what feels right most of the time, but in this case, you might want to let him know your standards of how you want the relationship to go. I would suggest not having sex with him, You are too young and too pure to have sex. Sex is for making love and making a deeper connection with your loved one, not just because of social pressure or your boyfriend being older and maybe more mature (it doesnt seem like he is if he's telling sex jokes). Also, just because he's telling sex jokes, it does not mean that he wants to have sex with you already, all guys tell those jokes for laughs. If you don't appreciate those jokes or scared about what they mean, tell him, communicate
Hope this helps!
Let me know!
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Well what you did by starting to become sexually active with him is getting him as a guy on a certain track of mind where actual sex is now on his mind and hes probably thinking based on what your telling us that real vaginal sex will be the next step for you guys unless you say your still not ready.
So maybe for now just dont bring it up, let the jokes roll off your back, and if he tries to get you to have anything other then oral or hand job sex then say your not ready. when your together like this and say your not ready in such a close intimate environment with him, he most likely wont want to push you. if he does then hes not worth it and he doesnt deserve you and hes selfish and only thinking of himself.
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