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Q: I am serious. I am so tired of having to go out of my way and spend so much time cleaning the inside shower walls and doors every two weeks or a month. And if I wait one month before I decide to clean the shower walls it takes much longer and more physical effort to clean them. And then, when I decide to clean them, I have to get a mild brush, then presoak the shower walls and the inside surface of the glass doors by spraying water on them. Then, I throw the powder cleaner on the walls or spray the shower surface cleaner on the walls and then lightly scrub all the services which includes the three walls, both inside surfaces of the glass sliding doors and the chrome and aluminum frame surfaces. Then, I have to step out side onto the carpet with soap on my feet or shoes. But, I'll have to lay out a towel so that I can wipe my feet or shoes on. Then, I fumble around with the shower head trying to make it rinse all the soap off all the walls, which it won't. So, I have to take a cup or a bucket and splash water up on the walls and the inside surfaces of the two shower glass doors. Then, I play water hockey on the shower floor trying to spray or shoot all the soap residue down the drain. And of course, I as well as most everyone else, realize all the effort being put into having to properly clean the inside of the shower. But, wait! The shower cleaning job is not finished because I have to get in there with a clean dry towel and wipe down the walls, glass doors and all the chrome faucets and aluminum frame around the doors. Okay, the 30 minute shower cleaning with all of the physical effort and a some aggravation is over. And then before you know it two or three weeks have passed and it's time again for that 30 minute monotonous, ridiculous cleaning routine AGAIN! Please tell me what I can do so I never have to do that again yet, still be able to take a shower every day in the same shower!
Check out this link:

http://www.ehow.com/how_5023707_prevent-soap-scum-buildup.html

This particular article recommends using a product called RainX (which can be found at an automotive shop, or online) , or its generic equivalent, which is actually made to repel rain on car windows/windshields. It should help prevent soap scum from forming, at least for a much longer time.

I also suggest buying a mini squeegee, and using it on the shower door after you take a shower, to prevent hard water stains from forming.

Q: is it weird that my boyfriend and I are wanting to have a baby? were both young, but very into this idea/choice were slowly making.
thoughts, ideas?
no put downs please!
The fact that you are asking this question makes it clear that deep down, you really aren't ready to be a parent. Everything relevant has pretty much already been mentioned by other columnists, but just to reiterate, if you were really ready, you wouldn't even have to ask if it's weird to want to have a baby. I agree with the other columnists- it is completely natural to want to have a baby, but it is not wise for someone who is too young to actually go through with it.

Having a baby is the biggest responsibility anyone can take on. It's not just about having the baby, changing diapers, feeding, playing, etc.. It's about being emotionally mature and financially prepared to be 100 % committed to another human being. Babies grow up, and then it's not just about the cuteness and the fun they bring to your life.

I understand that you and your boyfriend love each other, and that you feel bringing a baby into your lives will solidify that love. But the fact is that you are not prepared to go through with your desire to have a baby. Having a baby changes everything, and if you're not completely ready for it, it can change your relationship and financial stability, and take away from your youth. Enjoy being young, and do not give the idea of having a baby further consideration. Although it's natural for you to want to have a baby, it's a bad idea to start a family at this point. Wait until you feel totally prepared- mentally, emotionally, financially, etc.. With time and experience, come maturity and growth. Only then can you start preparing to have a baby.

Q: What to do with a four year old who wont listen to anything. He screams, talks back, throws temper tantrums, you try and put him in time out and just makes the situation worse. I cant get him to listen to anything I say. If there is something he doesnt want to eat he screams about it. Its like this all the time. He didnt used to be this way. hes even told me husband that he is not his father (step dad). He does what he wants when you ask him to stay out of the fridge or put something back he throws a fit.
You might want to talk to his pediatrician, and see what they suggest. If you feel like the situation is extremely difficult to deal with, and you don't really know what else to do, in spite of any other advice you might get on this site or from his pediatrician, you can try contacting a family therapist. A family therapist can help you with child development/parenting issues, that many parents face with their toddlers and young children.

One thing that stands out for me, is that your son told your husband that he isn't his father- this indicates that he is likely affected by your divorce from his biological father. His behavior might be an outlet of his frustration toward that situation, which is normal. It is also normal for young children to go through periods where they act out, it is sometimes a way of asserting themselves and trying to be their own person. But if children hardly ever cooperate and constantly throw tantrums, they might be frustrated and angry inside, and not know how else to express their emotions. For this reason, it wouldn't hurt for you to express your concerns to your son's pediatrician, and see what he/she suggests you do. They might give you tips/pointers, and can also refer you to a family therapist who can help, if needed. All the best :)

Q: Hi! So i have these two friends, Steve and Mike. Steve is 19 and 4 years older than me and mike is 16 and one year older than me. i like mike, not steve. and steve is like a physco and is going to mikes house tonight to go talk to him and scare him so he does not talk to me anymore. But also Mike is adorable and so polite to my parents, but he might just be wanting to have sex with me. Its so crazy. If you have any advice on what i should do PLEASE HELP ME!
It would help to know if you mean psycho, as in literally mentally ill, or just a jerk or whatever. If he's more than just a jerk, his mental illness can cause him to act irrationally and possibly do dangerous things. If you feel safe doing so, you can talk to Steve, and let him know that you do not want him to go over to Mike's house (if he hasn't already), because it isn't right for him to try scaring anyone. He might be planning to threaten him, which is not only inappropriate, it's illegal.

So definitely try to calm Steve down, so he is less likely to go over to Mike's house. But if you really feel he's a threat, even to you, you should talk to an adult for more advice/help. If he's already gone there, you could give Mike a call and ask him what happened with Steve. If you really feel worried about this whole situation, talk to your parents or another trusted adult, and see what they say.

Also, just remember, if you feel that Mike only wants sex from you, you might want to keep an eye on him too. You can still hang out with him, but don't ever do anything you aren't ready for. If you get to a point with him where you're ready to take things further, you will just know. Be safe.

Q: My girlfriend found out she's pregnant two weeks ago. When she told me she immediately said she was going to abort it and that I didn't have to worry about anything. I tried to tell her that I really would love to raise the baby, with or without her around.

I think she's making a drastic decision. I feel like if she seriously goes through with getting rid of the baby we created together then I'll be forced to dump her. I love her but I wouldn't be able to get over this sort of thing. We've been together for 2 years and this cold side of her is completely new to me. It's like I don't know her at all now.

I understand her not wanting to be a mom right now. I'm 22 and she's 21 and so we have a lot of time to make those sorts of family decisions. I would love to be a father already though, even if it means raising my son or daughter as a single parent. I know I could do it, and I would never make her be a part of raising him or her if she didn't want to.

I have a really good, reliable job. I have my own apartment. I have a great family support system. I'm in good health. I have a few younger brothers and sisters so I know what it means to bring home a newborn. I know I could do this, and it's what I want.

How can I convince her to give birth? I know about the rights of the woman and "her choice" but what about the rights of the man? I helped make this baby with her. I'm willing to spend the rest of my life, alone or otherwise, raising him or her. I want this baby. Is there anything, absolutely anything, I can do to keep him or her around? Somehow get some sort of custody? Please, help me. She has an appointment coming up and she just won't listen to what I have to say about this. She just has to give birth and from there I will take care of rest of the baby's life. Why won't she just listen?
You're both very young- too young to even think about being parents; this is why she is choosing to abort. She is simply not prepared to be a parent, and no matter what you think to the contrary, neither are you. I know you have a reliable job, apartment, family support, etc., the fact of the matter is you're 22.

Both of you need to be prepared to bring an innocent being into this world. If she wanted to be a mother, she would have made the decision to keep the baby, with or without your input. The fact that she is choosing to abort means that under no circumstance does she want to be a mother.

But you were part of all this too. By all means, let her know how you feel, because you need to communicate your concerns, if even to get things off your chest. You can try to convince, but you cannot force. She probably will not decide to keep the baby- her mind has been set, and for good reason (sorry to say). This is ultimately her decision- she's the one who is pregnant, and if she feels totally unprepared to have a baby, she is well within her rights to decide not to bring an innocent life into the world.

Just because you know what it's like to bring home a newborn doesn't mean you know what it's like to be a father, or even to be prepared to be a father. Maybe you would make a great father, at the ripe age of 22, I don't know. But what about 32? Have you even thought about the amount of emotional growth one goes through in that time? I'm not necessarily saying to wait ten years, but please do wait. Bottom line, you will have to respect her decision. I know you helped make the baby, but it takes two to parent, and if one is not ready, then... the foundation of your family is already unstable. It's not about what you want, or what she wants. It's about taking into account the situation you would be bringing an innocent baby into- " mom didn't want you to begin with," is no way to begin a life.

Q: I put in a tampon on the last day of my period and kind of forgot about it. I know, I know. Weird. Anyway, I didn't really mess with myself down there and so I ended up wearing a tampon for 2 days straight. Last night, when the tampon was still inside me, I started to not feel good. Today I ended up starting the flu virus and been throwing up, running a fever, etc. So, I was thinking...if you leave a tampon in too long then it obviously can make you get things like flus. And people have been known to die of the flu. So, can you actually die from leaving a tampon in too long?

PS I did take the tampon out like an hour ago when I realized it.
You need to go see a doctor immediately, do not risk anything. You could have developed TSS (Toxic Shock Syndrome); common symptoms are fever (temp of 101 or higher), vomiting, etc.., I'm not meaning to scare you, but you really need to see a doctor right away. You should go to the emergency room and let the hospital staff know what happened, and that you have been vomiting and have a temperature. Complications of TSS can be life threatening if left untreated.

Here's a link with more information:
http://women.webmd.com/tc/toxic-shock-syndrome-treatment-overview

You could call your doctor for more advice, or to see if he/she could make an emergency appointment for you. Better safe than sorry. You should change your tampon every 3-6 hours, depending on the flow. To minimize risk of TSS, use a tampon with the minimum absorbency for your flow. I alternate between using tampons and pads (tampons for first day or two, and pads afterward), and do not wear tampons overnight. With the situation you're in, you should consider switching to pads. But bottom line, do not wait to see a doctor.

Q: i dont know why but for some reason i feel as if i need a man to love me. Even though i know the love of god should be enough i just feel so alone. its like everybody i know found someone who loves them unconditionally but when it comes to me i always end up with the ones who can care less for me. How do i get over feeling unwanted. Or what can i do to be happy without having to be in a relationship. oh yea im a 17f
Love yourself. It seems simple, and in a way it is, but loving yourself is the key to being happy, with or without a guy in your life- and healthy relationships only happen when both people are secure with themselves. Sometimes when we fall into a pattern of getting with the wrong people- disrespectful, unloving, arrogant, etc.- that pattern might be indicative of something bigger. It's not just a matter of falling for the wrong person, cause you can't tell who someone is just by looking at them. It's a matter of putting up with the wrong people. Never settle for less than what you deserve. When you meet a nice guy, you'll know it. Until then, try to remind yourself that you are not unwanted, and that a self-respecting, good guy would be lucky to have someone like that in you.

It is totally normal to feel this way- many of us want to be in a happy, loving relationship, and hey, we deserve to be. It isn't always easy to meet new people, let alone the right one. It's a matter of trial and error, for most people. Also, just to point out, you're 17, and many guys around that age are immature and/or insecure, possibly oversexed...so it's no wonder you've ended up with the wrong ones in the past. But be patient, and try not to be hard on yourself. Things often happen when we least expect them to :)

Q:

This question is as much a thank you for your response to my 'infatuated' question as anything-your answer really made me think about some things. I do have very low self esteem, and I think that distorts my perception of a lot of things.

I did have one question, that I know that
nobody else can really answer-but you seem very wise about such things. Do you think that writing a letter to this guy, (without sending it) might help? I thought about doing that, but then felt weird. But I guess there would be nothing wrong with putting my feelings on paper-I have been feeling guilty about these feelings, but as long as I do nothing to act on them, I guess there is no need.
I'm so glad that you're thinking some things over. I think that writing a letter is a good way to express your thoughts and feelings. I am better at expressing myself in written form, and find it easier to get all my thoughts out on paper or email. You can write a letter, and save it, and maybe one day when you're ready, you can actually give the letter to this guy. But that's only if you feel comfortable- you can do whatever you want with it, the important thing is to be able to express your feelings. Writing in a diary would be a good idea too.

Also, last year when I was feeling pretty low, I sat down and typed out a list of about 50 things I like about myself- the deep,and even silly things that make me ME. I sometimes read it over when I feel like I'm stuck in a rut, and it always makes me feel better. You have so many good qualities- it's just a matter of feeling good about yourself.

So I would definitely recommend writing a letter to get your feelings out, and consider keeping a diary as well. If you have any other questions, feel free to message me. All the best :)

Q:

This is hard for me to type, so please bear with me. I have a history of very low self esteem, very poor body image, feel ugly and stupid and worthless, a lot of the time. Last year, I re-enrolled in University.(I dropped out, a few years ago). I did pretty well- the University even gave me some money as a prize, because I did well(was in the top five of a year of 400 or so people)

This year, I have found things much more difficult-I have had to struggle to make myself get through tasks, though my grades have been ok. I have also felt old, and very ugly and fat, although I am probably a normal weight. I have met a guy this year, and I have developed feelings like you wouldn't believe. THIS WILL GO NOWHERE. I just want to put that out there, this is NOT a 'OMG there's this cute boi does he liek me' type question. I do not want to be in love with him, he is five years younger than me (at least) and in a relationship. We are close, and have quite intense discussions, which make me happy, then make me sad, because I feel things that I shouldn't feel. I am unhappy because this falling for the unattainable is a pattern with me, and one which I would very much like to break. Thoughts and similar experiences would be much welcomed.
Your main issue, which is the root cause of your problems-school, body image, relationships- is your lack of confidence. Wherever your poor self-esteem stems from, it has NOTHING to with who you actually are. Some of the smartest, most talented people end up struggling in life due to low confidence. Low self-esteem can affect anyone, regardless of how beautiful, smart, talented, etc., one is. On the flip side, some people who are not what most would consider "attractive," overweight, not exceptionally smart, are confident and secure enough with themselves, and have less issues than people who "have it all." My guess is that half the issues you have faced in the past are made worse by your low self-esteem. You were in the top five of your class, and though you've been struggling with your studies lately, you are clearly one smart woman. Re-enrolling at a university is not easy, and you not only did that, you achieved something most can only dream of doing. So good for you!

Trust me, I know what it is to feel like shit, for no reason other than a lack of self-confidence. Although I have grown a lot and am much more secure and confident now, I have really struggled with not feeling good enough. I used to think I was so shy, practically incapable of making new friends. I used to keep to myself a lot. I also used to think that I wasn't "pretty," like all the other girls. This is the past- I am now 26, and though I know I have a lot more to go (I could be more assertive, and stand up for myself more- two lessons I have learned the hard way this year), I have grown a lot, through my experiences and mistakes. The truth is, we all have our insecurities, but at some point, in order to really live life, we have to learn to develop thick skins and be happy with ourselves- regardless of the mistakes we make, what we look like, etc.- after all, we are all human. Being "perfect" is an imperfection. Making mistakes is a part of life- they make you learn and grow.

As for your relationship- I can relate. I tend to be attracted to men who are unattainable: the guy who I find good-looking, but who also happens to be with a girl, the guy who is probably "out of my league" (but maybe not actually "out of my league" in reality). I have never gone out with a guy who is attached to someone else-I refuse to. But I do find myself sometimes falling for guys who have a girl. I have thought about it, and came to the realization, that I don't necessarily want THAT guy, I just want what his girl has: a relationship. Maybe I'm so unhappy with being perpetually single (I value my independence, but have been single for a long time), not having had a happy, long-term relationship (my longest "relationship" has only lasted a few months), that I see something I want and fall for it. Not hard. But I see girls on the train with their boyfriends-they seem happy, and i want what they have-not because I'm jealous of them, in particular, but because I long for a relationship (which is to say, some sort of emotional connection with a guy).

The problem is not that this guy is younger than you. It's not even the main issue that he is already in a relationship. The problem is that you think you "feel things [you] shouldn't feel." There is nothing that you "shouldn't" feel, when you have an intense connection with someone. You regret feeling these things, because you do not want this relationship to go "there." You should not get involved with this guy, at least not now,-not because he's younger, but because he's already attached. But be honest with yourself. Could you see yourself with him? Does he make you feel happy and "yourself," so much that you could actually see yourself in a committed relationship somewhere down the line? If you see him as a friend, and nothing more, then still continue that friendship, and try not to look too deeply into things.

Remember, the only person you have to answer back to is yourself. If you feel like crap about who you are, what you look like, what you haven't achieved, then the only one you are REALLY hurting, is yourself. Relationships, school, body image, etc., these things are only negatively impacting you, because you are letting them get to you. Trust me, I have a ways to go, when it comes to being totally self-assured and confident; many of use do. If you think you could use someone to talk to, keep counseling/therapy as an option. Sometimes our biggest weakness is denying, rather than confronting our problems. Even a school counselor can listen to your concerns, and help you sort things out for yourself. I am in grad school now, and have dealt with all sorts of family/relationship/classmate issues, and i only wish I had talked to a counselor when I really needed someone to talk to. The path toward greater self-awareness and confidence is really f**king hard, but nothing worth fighting for is ever easy.


Q: Once a month we have a dance at my junior high school. Before the dance everyone usually gets ready with their friends, but my best friend never goes to the dances. I have other friends of course, but I never have enough nerve to ask if we can get ready together, and I always end up getting ready alone. I know it's not a big deal, but getting ready is the best part of the night. Last year I got ready for prom alone, and went to the dance by myself. I don't want that to happen again. What should I do?
Go for it, you have nothing to lose. I'm sure your friends would be happy to have all of you get ready for the dance together. And since you mentioned it's the best part of the night, you'll end up regretting not asking. One suggestion though- ask friends you like hanging out with and feel comfortable with...otherwise, spending time with people just to have them there, is just as bad (if not worse) than getting ready alone. Have fun at the dance!

Q: how can i deal with people who are defensive? everytime i try to fix a problem with a friend he always in denial and get defensive, what should i do? its really hard
I also cannot stand when people automatically get defensive, especially when someone is trying to patch things up and make things better. It all boils down to insecurity. People who are insecure are not comfortable enough in their own skin, or around other people, and tend to automatically get offended, since their insecurity makes them ultra sensitive to any sort of criticism- constructive or otherwise. You are clearly being the mature one by trying to fix any problem that might arise between you and your friend, but your friend is not having it, because he either cannot possibly see where he might have gone wrong (which is selfish and arrogant), or is totally defensive and overly sensitive. My guess is that both factors come into play.

Your best bet is to calmly explain to your friend that you are only concerned with the friendship and want to make things better and be on good terms. If he continues acting defensive and cannot appreciate the fact that you are trying to patch things up, then he is too selfish and/or immature for you to keep in your life. Trust me, I have been through this type of situation many times before, and it's not easy. But people like him are often bad news, so you are under no obligation to continue having him be a part of your life....unless of course you consider him to be a super great friend, who happens to have this one flaw...in which case, if he is such a great friend, and values your friendship, he will have to start being more mature about all this. If not, then he's simply not worth it.

Q: like when yhu wipe yourself and it is brownish redish?
Most likely, it's older blood- and usually appears mid-cycle, or when your period is almost over. Clotting is normal, depending on how much clotting you have, and how big the clots are. If you notice they are exceptionally large (the size of, say, a quarter, or larger), and you get them all the time, you should talk to your doctor or gynecologist, as it might be a sign of polycystic ovarian syndrome. Not to worry you- there are medications, that can help keep it at bay.

Most likely, you have normal clotting, and the brownish blood is just old blood that has passed through. You should see if your clotting is excessively frequent and/or large, and if so, see a doctor.

Q: 16/f

i don't know why, but i'm pretty sure everybody feels this way at times. i hate seeing old people eating alone, it makes me feel sad that i want to sit down in front of them and eat. is there a way where i can think positive about it?
That's interesting- I was thinking the exact same thing the other day. I was having lunch, and noticed an old lady eating alone, and she looked sad and lonely. It made me feel really bad for her. Honestly, I cannot see how we can think positively about it. The truth is that a lot of old people rely on pension to get by, and many have very few visitors, and have no choice but to go about their lives alone, at least much of the time. Because of all of this, some old people eat alone at inexpensive restaurants. I notice it too, and it does make me sad.

One thing you could do to make both yourself, and the elderly feel better, is to smile, and say hello to them, whenever you happen to see them. I'm sure it would brighten up their day. You could also volunteer at a retirement home . I used to do that in High School- mainly talking to some of the residents, taking them down to lunch, taking them out in the garden... my friend and I even gave some old women manicures once, it was really cute, and they were so happy with it- and we also helped at a birthday party for one of the residents. You are only asked to do very simple things, but anything you do to help is fulfilling. One thing though, since the residents are all old, there is always a chance that you will hear about one or more of them passing away, if you do choose to volunteer. It is sad, but if you remind yourself that it is a part of life, you will get by. Being able to make old folks' life more enjoyable is really what matters.

Q: 17/F

I recently became very into photography and was wondering if anyone was willing to give me some feedback on my pictures?

http://s744.photobucket.com/albums/xx81/KateW29Photos/


All of my friends and family say that I really have an eye for photography and I'm thinking about going to school for it, but I'm not positive. If there are any photographers on here willing to tell me where they went to school and such that'd be great. Thank you! :)

(Most of these pictures were taken with my little FujiFlim camera but the sunset pictures at the beach were taken with my new Nikon digital SLR.)
Your pictures are beautiful, and you do have an eye for photography. I am not a photographer, but it's my hobby, and something I absolutely love to do. As for the first few photos at the top, I like how you had an object (wooden slabs?) be the focus of the photo. It is something random, and not particularly beautiful, but you gave it beauty through your photograph. I also like to take pictures of random things/objects or even an unexpected angle of a building or something as simple as a bench or staircase- photography gives beauty and meaning to the otherwise ordinary.

Just like you did with the first few photos, it is good to have focus on one particular object, and you might even want to experiment with taking shots from particular angles (you can try it out with absolutely anything you see that catches your eye or inspires you).

Your nature shots are beautiful, and make me want to be there! I also like the pictures that have the fence, and behind it, beautiful scenery. The fence adds something to the photo- it's like your personal touch.

I looked at the photos on other pages, and I can tell you, they are beautiful and very well taken. The lighting gives wonderful contrast and highlights very well- you can always use good lighting to your advantage, even if it's artificial light.

Lastly, I love the pictures of the flowers- for instance, the picture of the bunch of yellow daisies (page 3) is taken from a good angle (bottom-up), which makes the daisies appear very tall, and almost like a group of soldiers, but pretty, haha. If you can, invest in a good camera, and start taking some photography classes, even at a local community college. If you really have a passion for photography, and can imagine yourself making a living from it, then go for it. Do not listen to anyone who tells you it's impractical or whatever- do what you like. Keep a portfolio of your best works, for if you do end up applying to schools. I do not know which schools have good photography programs. You might want to research art schools in the United States (assuming you live here)- and look into living in a major city with a booming industry and appreciation for art (maybe New York). Good job! and good luck :)

Q: so, i've had a flaky scalp for a while now. and i've tried every single possible dandruff shampoo possible, nothing works. even selsun blue. like i said, I'VE TRIED IT ALL.

but the weird thing about my dandruff, there isn't much flakes so much as there are egg looking things. but i KNOW FOR A FACT i don't have lice, because i've had lice before. and i would have been itching really really badly. but i don't know how else to explain the stuff in my hair.

does anyone have any at home remedies that i could do? for someone on a budget? thanks.
Tea tree oil might help you. You can find if at most drugstores or health food stores (like Trader Joe's). It can help, since it is a natural antiseptic- might help with killing whatever it is that causes the dandruff (it's either bacterial or fungal). Tea tree oil also helps with itching. It is very potent and strong, so using too much is harmful to your scalp. Use a couple of drops, along with your shampoo, and make sure to massage your scalp, and leave it on for at least a few minutes. I don't know for sure if this will help, but it can't hurt. I think it might actually work for you. Tea tree oil can be used for other things as well- bug bites, pimples, cuts/scrapes... it's safe and versatile.

Q: My condom broke while I had sex with my girlfriend yesterday, what do I do?
She has hopefully already taken Plan B, if not, go with her to Planned Parenthood, or a clinic, and get it for her. Like others have said, it can work up to three days after unprotected sex--
and today is the three day mark. But I'm assuming she's already taken it.

I (female) have been in the same situation, and believe me, it is absolutely gut wrenching to think you might be pregnant. Support is the key- you really have to be there for her. Having someone there to listen and comfort her will make the difference between being totally alone and worried, to knowing that you're in it together, and things will work out fine. At this point, she might be worried that Plan B (assuming she's taken it) did not work..she still has to wait a bit to find out if she is pregnant (which is unlikely). In about 10-14 days, offer to take her to a clinic or planned parenthood, so she can get a pregnancy test. If she wants to talk to a nurse, see if she wants you to be there with her. Remind her that you will be there for her, and that things will work out. She needs you there--you both are in this together- it's not just her issue to deal with. She might want to consider going on birth control, especially if you two are in a committed relationship.

In all likelihood, if she has already taken plan B, she is probably not pregnant. Again, she has to get a pregnancy test at a clinic or gynecologist ( and not just a home pregnancy test) to make completely sure. If the condom broke due to lack of lubrication- then she either needs more foreplay, or you might want to use some lube beforehand. Or maybe you did not pinch the resevoir (tip) to get all the air out beforehand? Whatever the reason, learn what not to do next time, so you can avoid this situation. I know how much it sucks.

Q: I went on my first date with a guy a few days ago; we saw Sherlock Holmes. We made out a few times during the movie :). So this guy and I have become close because he's been (suspended) from college for the first semester, but he'll be going back in about a month (I'm in high school).
Now, he wants a second date, one at his house. I'm not sure what to expect, and I'm kind of nervous about if I went. For example, he'd prob try to have sex with me. I'm fine with doing so, because I am no virgin, but it kinda makes me nervous, like the idea of us alone at this house. I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to be thinking about this, but say I did go to his house for the date... What do I expect?? And how do I act, and how do I approach the whole us hooking up situation? I neeedd helpp. Thank you loves :)
This might not be what you want to hear, but I don't think it's a good idea for you to go to his place on the second date- it's clear that you are uncomfortable and unsure about it. There is nothing wrong with hanging out at his place, but you really shouldn't do anything you aren't entirely sure of. Besides, you two have only gone out once before, and if things go well, there's plenty of time for you to step things up and go to his place or invite him over.

I would recommend taking things a bit more slowly- even if it doesn't feel right to do so, you will thank yourself. You could let him know that you had a great time with him, and would like to have a second date somewhere else- you could bring up some ideas, like dinner, a walk around town (more so if you live in a city), whatever you'd like. You did mention that the idea of being alone with him at his house makes you feel nervous--that is a clear sign that you are not ready to. If you go, and let your nerves take the better half of you, you might do things you are not yet ready to do, and regret it afterwards. It's too soon to think about those things. Healthy relationships progress naturally, and are based on mutual respect. If he does not respect your (possible) choice not to hang out at his place just yet, then he doesn't respect you, or deserve you. Be honest with him, and see how he responds. If he is a respectful person, he will understand.

Q: Hello im 18/f i want to start working out and eating healthier. The thing is i cant find motivation to work out! I keep saying im going to but i dont want to, and i know i need to. I cant set any goals because i dont care to meet them but i really do want to work out just need the extra push i guess. The main thing i want to do it tone my legs and my stomach a little bit. Im 5'6 and 140lbs. Im not fat i just want to tone up and become healthier. I noticed im getting cellulite on my legs. Also stretch marks are a problem for me i was in cheerleading and i worked out so much i got massive stretch marks on my thighs. Is there any way to prevent that. Any certain excercises you would recommend?
I know exactly how you feel. We all need to exercise and keep active, but the truth is, it isn't easy for many of us to keep motivated. The key is to find something you enjoy doing, and set aside time during the week to exercise. First, you need to ask yourself what type of activities you are most likely to enjoy. Are you an outdoor person? Do you like structured workouts, like aerobics or cycling classes, or just working out on your own (treadmill, etc.)? Do you like low key, spiritual type exercise (like yoga)? Figure out what kind of exercise you like- if you do not enjoy what you are doing, you will not have the motivation to continue. Some things you might like- bike riding outdoors, swimming laps, jogging, yoga... or classes at the gym. Whatever type of thing you prefer, stick to that, and set a flexible schedule...start off small, maybe twice a week, and once you get into it, you can increase how long and how often you will exercise.

One thing though, for toning up (legs/stomach), and keeping healthy, swimming laps is one of the best overall exercises. All parts of your body are being worked out at the same time- arms, legs, even abs. It also keeps you focused. You could swim laps at your local gym, if they have a pool. Yoga is also great for toning down your body, and it helps you stay focused and concentrate, just like swimming. It is also a spiritual activity, depending on the type of yoga you practice. If neither of those appeal to you, you can try cycling- if you have a bike, try to get in the habit of bike riding around the neighborhood. It's great for your legs, and stomach, particularly if you also bike uphill. Cycling classes are also offered at many gyms. So, in sum, yoga, swimming, bike riding, and jogging, will help you tone your legs and stomach. Once you get into the routine (it usually takes about 2 weeks to feel totally motivated and in the routine), you will feel much more active, motivated, and strong. As for the stretch marks, I don't know if I can help... you could try rubbing vitamin E or cocoa butter regularly and see if it helps overtime... maybe even a quick internet search will help you. Good luck with everything!

Q: There is a tattoo shop in town doing an anniversary special, any small tattoo for $35. I plan on getting something but I'm worried about under tipping. Should I do 15% of the special price or the price I think something that size would normally be?
You could always go halfway, as tipping for the special price might be a little low. It is a nice gesture, especially if you receive good service and are happy with the results. In the end, it's up to you. I would probably tip for the normal price, unless it's way higher than the special. I would say that tipping 20% or so is safe.

Q: is it normal to be bored of sex all of the sudden? me and my boyfriend were having sex (the safe way don't worry), but after a while.. i just got bored and just laid there looking around the room. two days before, i was watching a video and the person was giving advice to somebody who said what happened during sex which was that she started bleeding and everything. that kinda turned me off and i just wasn't in the mood. was that the reason why i got bored of sex or something or got turned off? is this normal?
It's absolutely normal to become bored with sex, or anything else for that matter. It doesn't mean that you don't care for your boyfriend; some things just start getting old. I think that you might have gotten bored of the same old, so I suggest you and your boyfriend start trying different stuff out. I cannot give exact pointers, but you can try different positions, fantasies, sex toys, etc., anything that makes you feel more in the mood. You don't have to tell him that you're bored of sex- it's a much better idea to randomly try something out, like maybe a striptease or different position, and see how both of you like it. If he asks, you can just say that you'd like to try different things to add variety and turn both of you on more.

It's always a good idea to experiment and try new things in the bedroom- we simply are not programmed to enjoy the same exact thing, time and again, mostly because it's no longer novel and we know what to expect. Oh, and as for your second question, if you were thinking about the video you watched while having sex, then chances are it affected your mood and took your mind off of what mattered- the sex. You should not focus on anything stressful, boring, etc., while having sex-- relax, take your mind off things, and focus solely on making you and your boyfriend feel good.

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ciao77
I am here to give honest advice, when I feel I have something to contribute. I try to be as empathetic and understanding as I can, as I know that the way something is said is as important as the message itself.

I usually advise on love/relationships, friendship and family issues, nutrition, and health (mental and physical). If I feel I can help out, there's not a whole lot I am unwilling to answer. Ask away!

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