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Wants to be loved
i dont know why but for some reason i feel as if i need a man to love me. Even though i know the love of god should be enough i just feel so alone. its like everybody i know found someone who loves them unconditionally but when it comes to me i always end up with the ones who can care less for me. How do i get over feeling unwanted. Or what can i do to be happy without having to be in a relationship. oh yea im a 17f
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Are you distant from you father? That has a LOT to do with it when women say things like you just said. I'm very familiar with the feeling. It took me a long time to learn to love being with me. And yes, it sounds cheesy, but you are right, God is your father and if you ask, he can fill that hole that was left by your earthly father. I also urge you to learn to forgive the men in your life that hurt you. Now, you don't forgive because you FEEL like it. And you don't forgive so that you can pretend it never happened.You forgive because it is healing for you. Unforgiveness is like taking poison and hoping the other person dies. It hurts you. When I learned to forgive my father it helped me to get rid of those feelings of needing approval of others and searching for that kind of love in relationships with men. I was able to heal and it changed me. My dad never apologized to me, but it doesn't matter. My fate is not tied to his anymore by my grief. Ask God to start healing your heart, changing your heart, and start forgiving. You start by saying it. You keep saying it, doing it, until one day, you'll actually mean it. You need to learn this because the reason you always end up with the jerks is that you are putting out those "vibes". The abusers will always find the women who are weak and vulnerable and unsure of themselves (not saying you're abused, but just jerky guys that abuse your kindness). When you learn to be confident in who you are and what you believe, you will attract like-minded people. It gets better, if you do the work. I promise. But you can't sit and feel sorry for yourself. You have to be proactive and learn. Seek out counseling with a friend or through your pastor or school. Find your comfort in the word, when you are sad or confused. Pray and ask God to show you how special you are to Him. Because you are, and He doesn't want you wasting your gifts and time on people who will never see you for what you really are.
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Love yourself. It seems simple, and in a way it is, but loving yourself is the key to being happy, with or without a guy in your life- and healthy relationships only happen when both people are secure with themselves. Sometimes when we fall into a pattern of getting with the wrong people- disrespectful, unloving, arrogant, etc.- that pattern might be indicative of something bigger. It's not just a matter of falling for the wrong person, cause you can't tell who someone is just by looking at them. It's a matter of putting up with the wrong people. Never settle for less than what you deserve. When you meet a nice guy, you'll know it. Until then, try to remind yourself that you are not unwanted, and that a self-respecting, good guy would be lucky to have someone like that in you.
It is totally normal to feel this way- many of us want to be in a happy, loving relationship, and hey, we deserve to be. It isn't always easy to meet new people, let alone the right one. It's a matter of trial and error, for most people. Also, just to point out, you're 17, and many guys around that age are immature and/or insecure, possibly oversexed...so it's no wonder you've ended up with the wrong ones in the past. But be patient, and try not to be hard on yourself. Things often happen when we least expect them to :)
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