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wanting a baby?
is it weird that my boyfriend and I are wanting to have a baby? were both young, but very into this idea/choice were slowly making.
thoughts, ideas?
no put downs please!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Parenting?
The fact that you are asking this question makes it clear that deep down, you really aren't ready to be a parent. Everything relevant has pretty much already been mentioned by other columnists, but just to reiterate, if you were really ready, you wouldn't even have to ask if it's weird to want to have a baby. I agree with the other columnists- it is completely natural to want to have a baby, but it is not wise for someone who is too young to actually go through with it.
Having a baby is the biggest responsibility anyone can take on. It's not just about having the baby, changing diapers, feeding, playing, etc.. It's about being emotionally mature and financially prepared to be 100 % committed to another human being. Babies grow up, and then it's not just about the cuteness and the fun they bring to your life.
I understand that you and your boyfriend love each other, and that you feel bringing a baby into your lives will solidify that love. But the fact is that you are not prepared to go through with your desire to have a baby. Having a baby changes everything, and if you're not completely ready for it, it can change your relationship and financial stability, and take away from your youth. Enjoy being young, and do not give the idea of having a baby further consideration. Although it's natural for you to want to have a baby, it's a bad idea to start a family at this point. Wait until you feel totally prepared- mentally, emotionally, financially, etc.. With time and experience, come maturity and growth. Only then can you start preparing to have a baby.
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I think everyone has had that idealistic ''we can have the perfect family and a beautiful child, and grow old together'' wish with their boy/girlfriend. I have. You kind of need to put it into perspective though-
1. how do you know you will last forever?
2. how will you support the child?
3. will your child really be given the best life, or could waiting a few years greatly help the child in the longrun?
4. there must be things you want to do, places you want to go before having the responsibility of a child.
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Weird to want? No. It's natural and normal.
More important question: Is it a good idea? Is having a baby a responsible moral choice right now?
No. Absolutely not. If you have to ask strangers if it's weird or not for you in your boyfriend to desire a baby, then you are absolutely too young, completely unprepared emotionally, and should not act on your desire at any point in the near future.
I really want a snow leopard, but the depth of my desire, and my partner's agreement and the depth of our being very into the idea of having a pet snow leopard, doesn't make it a good idea for us, or for the leopard.
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