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carayotie@gmail.comMember Since:
March 25, 2007Answers:
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Hey there! I'm Carey. I'd love to hear from you so don't hesitate to ask me anything! I'll reply to you the best way I can. Feel free to even send me an email!xo
advice
Are there guys that don't care if a girl is a virgin and still date her?
I'm sure you've heard this before, but any guy worth being with will wait for you and will never pressure you.
I was a virgin with my boyfriend, and he was sexually experienced before me. But he waited and was a perfect gentlemen.
:) There are some good guys left out there! Promise!
xo
I am seventeen and a girl. I live with my mom, stepdad, and brother and sister. I have a boyfriend of ten months who is absolutely perfect. We decided last night to make a very big decision to have protected sex. Little did I know my stepdad installed cameras into the entire house. He did not tell my mom he found out but he has labeled me as a slut and that it's his decision to decide if I am ready to have sex or not. I am upset that all of this happened but I honestly don't care. Even if I did want to tell them, I wouldn't. My parents never praise me for being honest and I am too scared to talk to them about anything anyway. I'm thinking my stepdad used the camera tactic to scare me into telling him but the same time he said I should be honest because he has the tapes to back it up. I am going about my day very calmly because I know I was ready and responsible. I am not a slut or a hoe or anything because I was responsible and I will make my own decisions. I just find it so stupid how they disown me and ignore me. I bust my ass for them honestly. I watch my baby brother everyday on top of schoolwork and chores. I make good grades. I'm not a bad kid and I am entitled to my own decisions. If I screw up, it's my fault...but I was so responsible and careful... So what does it matter? What do you think about all this?
I think you have a very good head on your shoulders. You are taking this very maturely, and you were good for making sure you took all the right steps before making that big decision. I know its hard because this is your family who is dragging you down. But you know yourself better than any one else. Have you tried talking to your mom about it? Or even your step dad? Lay down the facts for them and tell them your point of view. Easier said than done because no one likes confrontation. Write it down, so you'll know all the points you want to make. It's hard when family doesn't approve of your decisions, but it's your life. Live it the way you want to. Again, easier said than done. But stay strong. In a month from now, it'll have all blown over. Just keep taking it day by day.
xo
Okay, so I have a friend Dan that I didn't used to get along with at all until about a year ago. We became friends and talked occasionally, but it wasn't a close friendship. We were talking on Facebook last night about graduating and all, and the weird life transitions we're going through right now. After a few minutes we talked about the scary future and how everything we are up till now is coming into question and doesn't matter as much in the big picture. At that point, I said I think it was a good thing because I think we were meant for greatness. Now, I didn't mean to imply that he should agree with me but when you think about it, does it sound like I'm trying to force faith on him? We've had arguments about stuff like that before and that's why we didn't used to get along. He didn't respond to that message, maybe he went to sleep, but I want to get opinions because I'm afraid I've ruined a good thing by being pushy... I do have a reputation for being a Christian but I don't think I'm pushy. Thoughts?
Thanks y'allll :)
I don't think he SHOULD be offended by it, and I wouldn't think that you're being pushy. If you feel that way, just be casual about it and be like "hey, my bad, I didn't mean to sound pushy or anything, I just mean't...." Keep it cool, and shrug it off. He won't make it a big deal if you don't make it a big deal :)
xox
I like him but does he like me? Im 14years old and so is he. ut he's about to be famous cause he can sing and dance. i really like him and he really used to like me but does he like me anymore?? How would I know wothout asking him? Is it dumb to date him since girls will be all over him at concerts and stuff?
Do you guys chat often? or hang out a lot?
If he used to like you, chances are he probably still has some feelings for you. Spend time with him and see how he treats you. If he treats you like a Queen then he probably does like you. Be his friend. Thats the best way to start anything off. Hard to say if he likes you or not without and examples of his actions, but actions speak louder than words!
You'll know ;)
xo
Is it a bad thing to be grieving over a lost loved one after 6 years? How do I exit the grieving process? Please, please, help me.
There is nothing wrong with grieving over a lost loved one. There is no time frame for it either. If there was, it'd be a lot easier to deal with these things. And sadly, there is no magic answer besides time. I'm sure you've been told that a lot, "give it time", well waiting on "time" is kind of a pain in the ass.
Best things to do is just to keep busy. Find hobbies and goals and things to strive for. Moving on will always be difficult no matter what. But that is the best time to work even harder at your current relationships with your friends and family. If you need their support, let them know and never be ashamed to ask for help from them.
For some people, talking helps. The more you bottle up emotions, the harder it becomes to move on. Everything just manifests until one day you just can't stop thinking about it. Have you tried talking to friends or family about it? Sounds silly, but talking really helps sort out your thoughts and feelings and maybe you'll find the answers you need within yourself for moving on.
Give yourself all of the time you need.
And if you ever want someone to chat with, I'm more than willing to listen!
Time will heal all. Just focus on yourself and the things you enjoy. I know it's not easy, but you will get through it!!!
xoxox Carey
carayotie@gmail.com
It's my boyfriends 21st birthday next week. I want to buy him something really good since it's his big 21st but I have no idea what to get. We have only been dating about 2 months which sort of makes it hard as well and he doesn't talk to his mum and doesnt know his dad so I feel a bit like the pressure is all on me. Help please!!!
My boyfriend is super hard to shop for. But here are a few things I've gotten for him. Maybe it might help!
iPod
iPod Dock
E-reader things, like the Kindle.
Tv show season on DVD
(If he drives) a GPS, or things for his car
Try and go with things that fit his personality.
Is he organized?
Does he like the outdoors?
Any sports that he is really interested in?
And narrow it down from there :) Google helps too!!!
I've been told that this guy I was talking to has started to see my sister behind my back. of course she denied it. He and I haven't really spoken to each other lately. She has bit of a pattern of doing this, but if it's real and she loves this guy it will hurt as he was my high school sweetheart. How do I handle this situation in a way I dont look crazy and can be the bigger person, but cut ties with her at the same time? I don't want to look bitter. It's just that she was the one I cried to about him and everything and so if she can't stop repeating this behavior whos to say she wont go for the next guy? It's not just her fault but he's no longer in my life nor do I care to ever speak to him again.
Sometimes things just happen, you can't help who you fall in love with. This could be what's happening in her case. BUT at the same time, that's not fair to you. She should be a bit more considerate and honest with you about it. She is your sister so it's a lot easier said than done for cutting ties, but maybe try keeping some things seperate from her, like in this case, your love life. I don't think its necessary to cut her completely, but just keep some things seperately from your sister-to-sister relationship.
Or, you can always just sit her down and talk to her. In a non-threatening way of course. Just be like, "hey, I'm not trying to start anything but this is what I'm noticing and even though I know you're not trying to hurt me..." Honesty CAN be the best policy. But you know the situtation better than anyone else in terms of how she will react. So it really is your call. Just keep your head up, and keep moving forward. Easier said than done, I know. But it'll get easier :)
xo Good Luck!
hi im 19y.o guy bi im trying to get this guy out of my head but i cant seem to block him out when im with my girlfriend he suddenly pops in my mind how can i erase him from my mind for good?
If there was an easy to this, then you wouldn't need the advice! Unfortunately, as much as you don't want to hear this, it'll take time. Time really does heal all. Trick is to just keep busy, focus on your girlfriend and what you like about her. Did you have any closure with the guy? that could be why he still pops up. If not, maybe you need to find a way to reach that closure.
More or less, it will take time.
I'm sorry it couldn't be any easier.
xo Take care
So...suppose you met a guy, and this guy has a girlfriend...but he seems kind of flirty with you...he finds that you both have a lot in common, makes sure he gives you a big hug before you say goodbye, he calls you on the phone often...and then he asks you to go get coffee with him...okay, this is where it may become an incredibly stupid question...does that necessarily mean that he's attracted to you? Or is he just a very friendly guy? I have absolutely no clue how his current relationship is going...and I don't want to ruin it either. I would be very jealous if I had a boyfriend and this was happening. But the really bad thing is that I am extremely attracted to him, and I do catch myself wanting to be with him. But the last thing I want to be is a 'homewrecker'...and then I ask myself, 'is he just being really friendly'? Uuugh, my heads a mess! Helllppp!!!!
This guy is probably interested in you, but at the same time really values your friendship. I found myself in a similiar situation a few months ago. Ask him about his girlfriend and see what he says. That's also a good way to see how he treats women if you're attracted to him. It's a sticky situation, so approach with caution! Just stay honest with yourself, and be honest with him. Don't be afraid to ask him questions.
13/f
i like this guy...but we go to different schools and i texted him a lot during summer..but now our schedules are jammed and we dont text anymore..one of my friends goes to his school..and he asked her out..but she said no because she noes that i like him and she likes someone that goes to my school...the guy she likes asked me out and i said no...so..its kinda confusing sorry..but everone likes someone else and i have no ideawhat to do..any ideas????
Just stay focused on the guy you like. Maybe get your friend to help hook you up with the guy since they go to the same school, and you can do the same for your friend since he goes to your school!
Plan a double date! Go to the movies, browse the mall, simply just set aside time for you all to hang out :)
15/f
What are good ways to detroy my enemy/make her jealous?
Sometimes the best revenge is to do nothing at all. Once they see that you could care less about them, that'll irritate them more than actually wasting your energy on trying to "destroy" them.
I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year now and we haven't had sex yet. We get along GREAT and I'm so happy to be with him. The problem is that when we first met I told him that I was a virgin. I'm sad to say that I cheated on my boyfriend with another guy for about a month and the other guy took my virginity. My boyfriend still has no idea it happened.
I've recently told my boyfriend that I really, really want to have sex and he said that we can start doing it. He told me how excited he was to be with me since we're both virgins. :(
How do I tell him that I'm not a virgin anymore? I really want to tell him so he knows but I don't know how to without really hurting his feelings. I can't just pretend I'm not because I had sex with the other guy A LOT so I know I don't even feel like a virgin any more and I'm not going to bleed. What do I do?
I think you gave up the chance of not hurting him a long time ago when you cheated on him. Either way the truth has to come out, especially if you want to stay with him. But odds are he's going to be broken hearted for 2 reasons. 1) You're not a virgin anymore 2) that you lost your virginity while you were cheating on him.
Just sit him down and tell him the truth. But be prepared for the worst. It's hard to hear, but you DID cheat on him. You must've known that it would have had to come out eventually. Just tell him how much you love him and instead of focusing on sex, focus on making your relationship stronger.
17/f
my ex boyfriend and i dated for a year and a half, and he broke up with me wednesday night. ever since then i haven't ate, i can't sleep, i cry 24/7..and when i do eat, i puke it up..i need some serious help.
don't tell me i'm young, i'll moved on..i've heard it before and it hasn't helped any
Just cry it all out
there was this new guy at school and i have 1st and 5th with him, we ended up becoming close, and i ended up liking him. ok it was just a minor
crush at first but then every day i ended up liking him even more. well last monday he asked my best friend out and she said yes, even though she knew i loved him.now they are both really really happy. so what how do i get over him?
Its difficult to get over a crush. Just try and focus on the happiness of your friend. There are always more guys out there. Join a club or an activity to keep your mind off him. meet some new people, or focus on some school work or just chilling with friends. The less time you have to think of him, the quicker you'll be able to move on :)
Hey cari. help me out? Me and my best friend have been getting distant for the past few months. Ive gotten used to it so its fine to me. But today she said how she was mad that i dont talk to her and she always texts me first. Clearly i text her more and always have. if she wants to talk so bad cant she pick up the damn phone and call me. Shes just so use to me calling her all the time and texting her like months ago, because we both knew that i did and i didnt really care because i was used to calling her and talking all the time. So she expects me to keep doing that but its not like that anymore. She basicly started a big argument and said that i was too into this guy i like and just want attention and that i ignore her texts if im texting him at the same time and that we dont hang out anymore because of him. First off i dont even hang out with him, i admitted that i do get a little distracted when texting them both because i wind up paying more attention to him. But she said that i am replacing her with him. Thats way exagerating. Shes got me to the point where i just dont care any more and our friendship will just end in us being silent. Besides this its just her in general and other things that make me want to not be friends. Im going to go out with this guy soon and she'll be even more mad and think i chose him over her and i know she will go telling her mom and sis and other best friends that i basicly chose him and thats not true. its going to appear that way too if we just stop being friends and right after i go out with him. I just want to prove that im not replacing her and a way to either end the friendship , like should we just not talk and thatll be the end in time or talk and end it? like idk.
I know what your going through. You're friend has to understand that when you meet someone new (especially a guy) you're going to want to get to know them better and spend time with them. She should be supportive of that. It's hard to split up time perfectly so no one gets left out or shoved to the side. If you feel this friendship is worth saving, ask her to hang out, a girls day, just the both of you, and explain to her how this makes you feel, and that she should try and understand the predicaments shes put you in. Then tell her that you can see her point and that you'll try and accomodate her needs to. It can feel a little overwhelming I know, but if you two can talk it out and be 100% honest with eachother then things should be okay. All thats needed is some patience and understanding and her willingness to share you with other people.
A friendship is only worth saving if both people are willing to fix it.
If shes not going to try and cope with things that change and try to resolve it, then its not worth it.
I've been acting weird lately. I searched around the internet for my weird behavior, and i found Bipolar.
i see 50% of the stuff is what i do but other stuff isn't, so i found this website, it makes you ask questions to yourself, so i did and i'm going to answer the questions here.
1. I’m a very talkative person and I can utter a lot of words in a single minute.
-Yes actually its true, i talk alot and can form a new idea in a minute.
2.I am an extremely energetic person.
-Yes
3.I’m a compulsive shopper.
-Yes i spend my money in a second, even though i don't need the thing i'm buying.
4.I don’t like to sleep.
-This is a really hard question. Well, you see, i actually love staying up and i do all the time but when i sleep, i sleep for almost 12 hours or sometimes more. So i'm not sure it's a yes or no.
5.Family and friends have been telling me that I’ve been acting strange lately. I’m becoming a war freak, a loud talker and a very angry person.
-Well no one has told me anything because i don't have alot of people as in family, but friends no. For war freak i dont think so, loud talker I AM, angry person, I'm usualy very calm but this days i've been bitchy
6.I feel sluggish most of the time.
-Not most of the time. OR maybe.
7.I want to have sex all the time.
-Yes.
8.I can’t concentrate on something for a long period of time.
-Yes, i went from a A student to a C,D and i got a F in my math exam.
9.I feel like I’m the king of the world and I can do whatever I wish to do.
-I'm not sure exactly.
10.I don’t get pleasure doing the things that I’ve always loved to do.
-Yes
11.I have trouble sleeping at night.
-Sometimes.
12.Whenever food is served on the table, I don’t feel like eating.
-Sometimes
13.I have many aches and pains from the past that just won’t go away.
-Yes, true.
14.I lack energy when it comes to having sex.
-Yes, true.
15. I lack focus.
-Yes, true.
16.People and things around me make me angry.
-Very true, i yell at my mother for no reason when she is just trying to be nice.
17.I can’t figure out why I feel disappointed and scared.
-Sometimes
18.I’d rather be alone than talk to people.
-True
19.· I feel as if my existence on earth has no meaning and nothing desirable is going to happen to me.
-Sometimes i think life is worthless.
20.I thought about murdere.
-Yes i have.
I just answered the questions, i need help.
So am I a bipolar? Do i have bipolar disorder?
And trust me if i can get help from doctor/family/friends, i would but thats not an option right now.
Thanks
You could possibly have bipolar, but I think some of those questions aren't detailed enough because its normal to have some of those feelings and reactions, especially as a teenager. I wouldn't drill it into your head that you do have Bipolar until you can be diagnosed by a doctor.
But from the sounds of it, you're just a typical teenager.
15f Me and this guy like each other. Were not going out yet but i know we will soon. Im a pretty open person like when it comes to talking about sexual things. if that has anything to do with it. Lately, i have been thinking about having sex with this guy. We haven't even kissed yet and Im a virgin, so im thinking its just horniess?
If you're already thinking you might regret it then you should wait. A relationship is more than just sex. If he cares about you he won't take things fast. Its natural to be thinking about it and to be curious.
Wait until your absolutely ready with no doubts in your mind about regretting it.
:)
I am 15f, my boyfriend is 16m.
I am a virgin and he isn't.
I promised myself I would wait until i was 16, and my birthday is next month. i am ready to have sex but i am obviously nervous... naturaly.
My periods are not on a perfect scheduale yet, they can come every month for like 2 or 3 months, then not come again for 1 or 2 months. I have had my period for over 2 years now. This is the only thing i feel is holding me back for when i turn 16. What if i get pregnant.. i feel like i wont know right away. Please tell me if this is a huge issue or not.. i have gone to the gyno and talked to them and they said just to track it and that it is okay for now.... but i am just not sure about sex with it like that.
Its okay to be nervous. Ask your doctor about birth control. It can help regulate your periods and keep you protected once your ready to be sexually active.
:)
i dont have sex every day, but i do at least 2 to 3 times a month. i asked my mom when a girl needed to start having gyno exams, and she said when someone is sexually active.
i told her im not, because i wanted to avoid a conflict..and disappointment. but since im sexually active, i think i should start seeing a gynochologist. i cant drive, though. (im 16, im just a little late on the whole permit/license thing)
how am i supposed to be sure im healthy without telling my mom im having sex?
When you go to your regular doctor for a checkup he/she will ask if your sexually active. Tell him/her yes and they will set it up for you. If you want to keep it confidential, have your parents drop you off at the doctors and pick you up after. Your doctor will not tell your mom about the exam because anything done is confidential. Your doctor can't tell your parents.
Heres the deal.... my boyfriend just broke up with me and we had been going out for a little more than a year. This really hurt because he did not say exactly why. He was not perfect but I loved him. I need some advice on how to get through this because I am really hurting right now and could be use some support. What can I tell myself that will make me feel better?
I'm going through something similar right now as well. It's not easy. Just tell yourself that whats meant to happen happens. If you're meant to be together then it'll work out that way, if not then theres someone better out there making their way to you :) This is a great time to get your girlfriends together and have fun with them. Stay busy and when you feel like crying, just cry, because it's alright to do that. Let out your emotions, don't bottle it up because thats what makes it harder to move on.