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15f want to have sex
15f Me and this guy like each other. Were not going out yet but i know we will soon. Im a pretty open person like when it comes to talking about sexual things. if that has anything to do with it. Lately, i have been thinking about having sex with this guy. We haven't even kissed yet and Im a virgin, so im thinking its just horniess? <I hate that word. I feel like if I go out with him i wont be able to wait a decent amount of time before having sex with him and for him it will be no problem because he likes and wants to move fast and hes not a virgin. Im okay with him wanting to move fast, because I do too but I dont want to regret it or come off as easy. I can just picture us having sex within a month and that just makes me nervous, and ill admit a little excited. lol i just dont know what to do. ALso, if we go out should i tell him i want to have sex with him since i already know he wants to with me or idk what to say.
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You need to find other ways to manage lusty feelings. Thats what this is. I won't say sex drive is bigger when you're a teen, but it IS a new thing to deal with, and you need to learn self control.
So, what are you going to do.
First, ask yourself an honest question, if you tell him you want him but want to wait, is he going to spend all his time focusing on seducing you, or is he going to pay attention to you and let you come at your own pace?
Heres the thing. Guys can be somewhat immature about sex, and moreover guys don't usually think along long term lines when sex is on the table.
Every date becomes "what can I do to best facilitate sex?" and every date you don't get laid is a failure.
The earlier you introduce sex into a relationship, the less you're going to get to know each other. Instead of focusing on learning about a person and enjoying yourself around them, you're constantly focused on sex. Before he meets up with you he isn't thinking about the fun you're going to have, hes going over plans in his head on how to best do whatever must be done for sex to happen.
Its not a concious "trying to be an asshole and only get laid" thing, its simply that men are logic and goal oriented. If sex is the eventual goal of the date, everything is focused on that. If sex isn't on the table because you haven't slept with each other yet, his goal is going to be to make you like him enough to have sex with him, and thus he focuses on being a more decent guy.
I hate to compare us to it, but men are kind of like puppies or very small children. We are very perceptive on picking up with exactly how much we can get away with, and if you set a precedent early in the relationship for giving him what he wants with little regard for your own needs, even a decent guy is going to unconsciously respond to that.
So you really don't want to be sleeping with anyone anytime soon. Why? Because the relationship will be more about sex than anything else.
In that vein, don't tell the guy you want to or are going to until such time as you actually want to have sex. Lay down your limits clearly for him. If you don't want his hands in your pants, tell him so. If you don't want him trying to strip you, tell him so.
The most effective thing I've seen a girl do to her boyfriend is whenever the subject came up, she'd say "I believe in not waiting until marriage" and nothing else.
She told him "I'm perfectly willing to have sex" without telling him "I want to have sex with you"
That put all the power in her hands, because he knew if he played his cards right he'd get laid, and she knew he'd stick around until she thought the time was right for them.
They're married, btw. Two years this summer, been together for 7 total.
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If you're already thinking you might regret it then you should wait. A relationship is more than just sex. If he cares about you he won't take things fast. Its natural to be thinking about it and to be curious.
Wait until your absolutely ready with no doubts in your mind about regretting it.
:)
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What a tough situation.
Hun, I'm 15 and i've dreamt about sex.
BUt do not do it.
Not in your situation
He wants you because your hard to get, but once he gets you he will use you and throw you away.
Trust me. I know.
Go ask any other girl, if that girl had sex with him, what happened after.
Follow up on what happens if you get pregnant.
It's a life, like you and i.
It breaths and moves.
Do you rally want a baby at 15 years old?
I know i wouldn't.
I made promise.
I am a christian.
And i do have a purity ring.
I know strangers know nothing.
BUt PLEASE take my word.
Do not have sex.
you will regret it and yes it's exciting.
It's a GUY!
Their hot.
BUt don't.
You can wait.
Good luck.
I'll be praying for you.
Sincerely, Emma
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