Member Since:March 25, 2007
Last Update:March 14, 2013
aboutHey there! I'm Carey. I'd love to hear from you so don't hesitate to ask me anything! I'll reply to you the best way I can. Feel free to even send me an email!
i am scared of losing my virginity, but then i am scared i will never get to have sex. what do i do?
i am 13
This is an amazing site at answering questions about sex and helping you decide whether you think you are ready for sex or not!
It's worth checking out. :)
For as long as you feel scared about losing your virginity, it means you are not ready for sex. Don't worry about it! When the time is right, you will be ready and it won't seem scary!
Hi, I'm a 13 year old girl. So there's this guy who is thinking about asking me to be his girlfriend and when I hang out with just him and nobody else I can be my complete self around him but on the other hand, when I'm with him and his friends I get shy and nervous ,I want to be considered 'one of the guys.' How can I be myself/comfortable around him and his friends?
Well for starters, I wouldn't aim to be "one of the guys". A guy doesn't want to date a girl who is like one of his buddies. Would you want your boyfriend to be "one of the girls"? Probably not. Just be yourself. It's okay to be shy at first as you are getting to know them. But, just like with anyone else you start hanging around with, in time you will build friendships as you start to know them. Don't push it. Just be yourself, be respectful, and relax.
Also, it's okay to not be good friends with his friends. As long as you and them can be pleasant towards each other, then there shouldn't be a problem.
I am a virgin but av been doing foreplay with my bf,I use to have irregular periods but from jan and feb I av a steady period on the 21 feb I av foreplay with my bf but we didn't av intercause my period due date is on the 4th since the past month..I av missed my period the 4th this march and the last day that I was expectin it was the 9th...I'm confuse and didn't know what to do
No, you aren't pregnant. But it does sound like you aren't very comfortable with sex and biology behind it.
This is a great site to answer any of your questions and to learn about understanding your body, sex, protecting yourself, or just helpful for wanting to know if you think you are ready for intercourse or not! It's worth a look!
Hi! I am a 19 year old, 3rd year college student taking up Film as my major. Nowadays, I am so very lazy to go to school and do all the school-required stuff. But I am not generally lazy. I mean, I work with my classmates for their projects and I also have an organization in my school where I commit most of my time to, but the school work itself is just so tiring and monotonous and I find no determination to do them anymore. I made it clear to myself that I need to finish school for my parents. They are a main concern. But I don't know what to do anymore. Well...I mean I really know what to do and that's to just work hard and all that but I have no clue how to start or where to get the motivation or ugh! I don't knoooww!
I'm not sure what your school has to offer, but check and see if they have any internship programs that could allow you to take a break from school and work for a bit to gain experience with your degree.
Or, look for a job part time that is related to your field of study that could re-spark your interest and motivation to get it done!
3rd Year is def a burn out year, so you're not alone in feeling unmotivated. Explore the options your school has, they probably take that mind set into consideration, so they should have programs you can look into!
I am a student, living on my own in a student house. I've got a washing machine that I can use freely (there is no issues sharing it with the four other people living here) but I can't seem to get into a routine or a productive way of taking care of my laundry. Let me elaborate: I generally leave the laundry baskets overflowing until I run out of clothes or underwear. I know that's pathetic, but I just can't seem to get into a cycle of doing my laundry regularly. The issue is that the machine fits 3kgs of laundry which is almost nothing, meaning that it fits about half of a laundry basket if even that.(standard size.. think Ikea's Antonius laundry basket)
Ideally, I'd put things in the wash as soon as I have a machineful, but it rarely happens. Do any of you have any tips on how I could get into a better routine or perhaps motivate myself to put things in the wash as soon as I have a machineful, instead of neglecting it until I have a clothes crisis and then need to do near 6 loads in one go...
I hate hate hate doing laundry, but it bugs me to see my clothes pile up.
Best thing I can suggest would be to just split it up and do it bit by bit instead of waiting for a huge pile up that will take forever to do!
For example, on Wednesdays I will do my towels and bed sheets. then on Saturday or sundays (based on how busy my weekends are) I'll do my clothes.
It also helps to have baskets to automatically seperate your clothing as soon as you take it off. One for whites, colors or however you want to sort. This cuts out the sorting time!
I live with my boyfriend so I end up doing all of the laundry in the house to save water so we aren't having loads constantly going, so splitting it up makes it easier than having to spend an entire weekend doing it to catch up.
See what will fit your schedule. Once you start for a few weeks it'll click into a routine!
My mom and dad are the ultimate dynamic duo team. Whatever he says goes and she doesn't question him on any level at all whatsoever, even when he's being totally irrational, which he is often. A lot of the time my dad acts like such a baby and I know my mom knows it, yet she goes through the motions of supporting him NO MATTER WHAT. She doesn't have any of her own opinions and wait for him to share his point of view on literally anything before deciding what she thinks. ugh. There is nothing that has made me more upset, angry, or unloved throughout my life. If my mom had to choose her children or her husband, it would without a doubt be him. It makes me feel like a worthless piece of garbage.
My dad and I have had many fights over the years because unfortunately, I may be following his emotional footsteps and similar personalities clash. She has never once supported me. When I was younger, my parents decided that therapy was in order but NOTHING about my dad and his personality/issues were addressed, only what I was doing wrong.
My mom is such an insensitive brick wall. She never shows emotion or vulnerability and makes fun of me when I show emotion. If I go to her crying because I'm upset about something that happened during the day (I've had some anxiety issues in high school) she'll dismiss me and give me some one word response in a tone like she's talking about the weather. My mom never looks me in the eye nor does she do so with her parents or my brother. HOWEVER, of course my dad gets treated like a royal king and if god forbid he gets upset the world is over and she feels oh so bad for him.
She has literally told me many times that she doesn't care about my feelings. I know for a fact that she loves him way more than her children. I've tried to talk to her and I've confronted her but to no avail. She will never change. She is a cold, brick wall to anyone but my dad and nothing will ever change that.
My entire life, I've felt like the two of them are in this superior orbit that's totally above the rest of the world, including my brother and me. This is the way they act. Maybe this is why I have self-esteem issues and feel inferior to people all the time? I especially feel inferior when I'm with couples. I want a boyfriend so badly...
I have a mother who has literally expressed many times that she doesn't care about my feelings. SHE MAKES ME SO SO ANGRY. NO ONE IS GOING TO TAKE MY SIDE BECAUSE "SHE'S MY MOTHER" AND "SHE MUST BE STRESSED." I come home from college on breaks and turn into a person I hate. I am a ALWAYS angry at home and NEVER angry up at school. She is SUCH A BITCH. WHY DO I HAVE FRIENDS THAT GIVE ME EMOTIONAL SUPPORT THAT EVERY HUMAN NEEDS BUT SHE DOESN'T? IF SHE READ THIS SHE'D LAUGH AT IT AND BE UN-PHASED. I have literally screamed for her emotional support. I have talked to her calmly. Nothing will ever work. She will never give in and help me.
Please help me cope with this anger. I feel bad, I am a very nice person usually. I've been dealing with these anger issues my whole life but mainly with parents things. How do I deal with this bitter anger? I have been crying for hours on end. Please, please help.
This would probably be the last thing on your mind, but have you tried to put yourself in her shoes to see if you can understand why she is the way she is?
What were her parents (your grandparents) like?
A lot of parenting comes from how the individual was raised. If she was raised to be emotionally detached then that's just what's embedded in her.
Another aspect would be how reliant she may be on your father. Most women are very dependent financially on their spouse while they stay home to raise the children. This could be why she is always on his side, or never questions his actions. She may fear a life without him as a money struggle, as a result she avoids upsetting him. Or there could be other situations in their relationship that you may be unaware of that could be causing her to constantly side with him.
It's tough to have a parent that doesn't support you. It can be emotionally and mentally damaging. What's great is that you are aware of this, you are aware that you have a better support system from your friends. I'd do my best to focus on that aspect. If you know you can't get something specific from your mom then don't force yourself to keep finding out the same answers when you know it won't change. Doesnt mean to say you can't have a relationship with your mom, but it may just mean you have to take a different approach to it.
Do what makes YOU happy. I know it's difficult, but use your other outlets as a way of coping. The other people in your life who care about you and support you were put into your life for that reason :)
xoxo feel free to email me if you wanna chat.
K so a few months ago, there was this thing between me and this guy at school. He lead me on and and I initiated some as well. So when he made further plans if we could go on a date and stuff, i of course said yes. But then
when it came closer to the date, a few days before it he cancelled and bailed on me and said that he just couldn't go through with it at the moment cause he still had feelings for this girl that he never went out with. So of course I felt hurt and disappointed , but eventually I moved on and didnt give a crap about him. But then today, he came up to me after weeks of not talking to each other and asked if we could talk. He said that he did a lot of thinking and that he wanted to give us a try again and said that he was really sorry of what happened.
So then he asked if we could go on a date, and of course me not wanting to say no and disappoint him I said yes... It was a spur of the moment kind of thing . So now here after a few hours of thinking I just don't have a good feeling about it.. Like now I just keep doubting that I may not have that same strong feelings for him as before ... Help !
P.s that girl never liked him back in the first place and he supposedly told me that that girl now has a boyfriend and that he and her are now on good terms and are friends
Too be honest, it sounds like you are this guys "safety net". Go with your gut. If your gut is giving you warning signals then don't ignore it! It's his loss! He can't have his cake and eat it too. Especially if you've moved on from the previous situation, then there's no point in bringing it back up. If he has really thought hard about it and really wants to be with you, he'll put in the effort to prove it.
With that being said, one date won't hurt. If you find yourself conflicted, then give him one date. If it doesn't go well, or you still feel odd about it, then you'll know you gave it a shot.
Always put yourself first.
Hi, I am a teenage girl. My boyfriend and I have been dating 10 months or so. He's been distant lately, he never calls, hardly talks to me, and has never ever invited me over to his house once. It makes me upset because I give, give, and keep giving and its like I never recieve! I'm not trying to be conceited or anything but somethings gotta give, right? He tells me he loves me but actions speak louder than words. My really good guy-friend told me he loves me and he actually treats me like a princess! Should I move on or give my boyfriend a second chance?
You're right, actions speak louder than words.
How was he with you when you guys first starting dating?
As a relationship progresses, it's normal for it to fall into ruts or become to routine and boring. Could very well be what's happening. It's not that he doesn't want to be with you, he's just become too comfortable.
Second scenario could be that maybe he doesn't want the relationship anymore.
Best bet would to be honest with him and ask.
"I feel like there's something wrong between us. I want us to work but the things we use to do together like
______ we don't do anymore. why is that?"
Try talking to him without putting any blame or pressure on his actions at first, just see where the convo goes. You'll be able to tell where his head is at based on the way the conversation goes.
xo if you have any questions feel free to send me an email ;)
Thank you hun for replying on my previous post the first time http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=610254
just to clear things up i revisited the texts haha, I said "I like you. I do. Let's just not rush"
maybe that wasn't the smartest answer but i was taken aback by the "sudden" feelings confrontation and it wasn't even a date it was something totally spontaneous.
He texted like yesterday and today and I haven't been replying much cause I don't know his intentions yet. He was like I miss you and stuff and it stopped there. I just don't feel he's doing much or actually genuine?
Am I making sense?
Ohhh okay, gotcha!
Best thing would be to just be honest with yourself and with him. If he's distant but claims he misses you, then he's contradicting himself! Call him out on it. if he has genuine feelings for you and you've told him where your head is at then he shouldn't have a problem trying harder. Just be upfront with him because you don't have much to lose by being honest at this point ;)
Odds are if you're feeling hesitant, reserved or just feeling strange by it, then go with your gut. There's a reason why you feel like that and you shouldn't ignore it.
ok so here goes, i have strong feelings for a married man, about a year ago he started giving me extra attention in work,nothing to much a hug here and there, he did want to come over to my house a few times but he never did as i wouldnt allow it, he also has tried in the past to kiss me whislt we were in work,which i didnt allow, thing is that i have really strong feelings for him and cannt get over these feelings, i have to see him most days in work and cannot avoid him as we have to work together, i dont want an affair with him, but its getting really hard to work with him and lately i cannot be around him because of how i feel about him, at the moment we arent even talking much only if one of us has a work question for the other, its down to me that we arent talking because i have tried to put up a wall between me and him as i cannt conitune acting the way i used to around him because its getting way to hard for me how can i stop these feelings or should i just tell him how i feel and see can we work it out as i said i dont want an affair i dont want to be the other women in his life,
It's tough to be working with someone that you're attracted to. But stick with your gut. Don't be the other woman, and don't let him trick you into thinking that you'll be his one day. If he is married and does this to his own wife, then who would you be if he wanted to be with you? Whose to say he doesn't turn around and do the same thing and hurt you.
Just keep your distance.
If worse comes to worse, try finding a new job?
Its hard to stop feelings, so it'll take time.
Tell him you are uncomfortable with his actions if he continues being touchy-feely.
Just keep your head focused with your job, and remember that this isn't the type of man you'd want in your life.
i've been friends with this guy for almost a year but we never dated or anything, he's in my circle of friends. just last week we were planning to hang out with a group of friends as we always do then it didn't work so me and him decided to grab a bite anyway. I picked the place, he decided to treat me and you could tell there was a spark plus it was all romantic. He walked me to my car and decided to tell me that "I think I'm gonna fall for you" I smiled, hugged him and we took off. He asked me later on texting that night if i felt anything i said "i guess i like you, so let's not rush anything" he said ok and everything was fine. Texting then started to fade out, it's been a week since that happened and haven't heard from him anything yet. It's all awkward when i see him when we go out with our friends. I am confused and don't know why he's doing this. What should I do?
He was probably taken back by your answer of "I GUESS I like you".
Put yourself in his shoes, if he said he "guessed" that he liked you, you probably wouldn't feel the greatest especially if it took a lot out of you to telling him how you felt in the first place. He's probably thinking that you don't like him, or that hes just a bother to you.
Try re-communicating to him what you meant by that statement. If you really like him too, then re-phrase that sentence. Guys are just a fragile as girls. Tell him you are really into him and you want to see where it goes, but you don't want to rush it and risk losing him.
xox take care
I'm a 13 yr. old girl. My bf and I have been dating for 9 or 10 months. He said that he has never had a girlfried like me(isn't tht what they all say) but he barely talks to me, doesnt call, never invites me to his house, never sits with me, and when he does sit with me he gets onto me for not talking to him. Why should I tlk to him when he doesnt even bother to give me a call? He's been going through a really tough time with his dad and I've been putting notes of inspiration in his locker like every other month. If he wanted to stay in my life he would make an obvious effort to do so, right? Idk what to do. I'm really confused..
Just let him know that you are there for him with the situation with his dad. Let him know if he ever wants to talk, that you'll be there to listen.
Other than that, if he is being distant with you then you shouldn't expect much. If a guy wants to be with you, he'll put in the effort. A relationship can't be one sided with one person doing everything and the other just choosing when they feel like it.
Its hard to pull away from someone you've grown really attached to, but you'll miss out on opportunities in meeting other guys who will treating you how you deserve to be treated if you keep holding on to a relationship that you get nothing out of.
You're young, you have plenty of time to find the right guy.
Try talking to him and telling him how you feel. In a non-threatening way.
"Hey babe, I know you're going through a lot right now, and I don't want to add anything to your stress, but it really hurts me when you ______."
Best relationships are built on good communication. So give that a shot ;)
xo take care
I am not sure if I am a virgin or not? I m not sure if my hymen is broken or not? When I was in gr 10 I iinserted a tempon jus the tip of it den I toook it out coz I was scared I don't remeber bleeding after it but I m not sure if my hymen is broken n I have never had sex can I. Stilll bleeed during the 1st time I have seXx? This hymen thing is very important in my culture so plz I neeed help wat to doo:(?
There are many ways that a hymen can break, for example from riding a bike or riding a horse etc. Although, some girls do not always bleed when their hymen breaks, so it is hard to know. Everyone's body is different. If you haven't seen any unusual blood outside of the time of your period, then you should be fine.
heey, my name is Jasmine, I'm 13 and I think I'm starting my period...
I'm going for a school trip to the swimming pool,and I think I might actually get it while I'm there, or at least I'm really scared I will get it like in the water and everyone is going to see it :(
I read that it is unhealthy to put in a tampon without your period.. but I don't know if I should anyway...
I have most of the symptoms- really bad cramping in my lower stomach, I have had that for about a month and a half maybe, I have tender breasts, I have hair down there.. but I don't much armpit hair, like only just a few black strands, I have pretty heavy discharge, and I have a few tiny spots or red, which I'm guessing is blood.. but I have only had them for a few days, and there is only like one or two dots..
WHAT DO I DO, AND WHEN DO YOU THINK I WILL GET IT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
I would suggest wearing a pad or a thin panty liner for the day and when you get to the pool, insert a tampon for when you are swimming. When you come out of the pool, remove the tampon and resume wearing a pad or a liner.
I prefer to wear thin liners on my underwear when I'm expecting my period. It's normal. Better to be safe than sorry!
should u wear jeans when working out?
But it's really up to you and what you're comfortable in. I find jeans are very restricting and mine always fall down haha.
Go for a pair of sweats, shorts, or (if you're female) a pair of yoga pants. But again, it's your own preference.
I've recently decided I want to be a teacher and I've been studying so much to make it happen. My (good) friend who is always really honest said she doesn't think I'll make a good teacher as I'm shy and I don't have a great bond with children. I've never been around children younger than me as I'm the youngest in my family however I'm volunteering in a school from October onwards to gain experience. It really hurt me that my friend thinks I won't be a good teacher as its what I really want to do. How can I feel better about what I'm doing?
As long as you are doing what makes you happy, the best thing you can do is either a) straight out tell her to stop making comments dissaproving of your goals. or b) ignore her. Its tough to enjoy doing something when someone close to you, like a best friend, isn't very supportive. So try talking to her about it.
Next time she makes a comment about it,
"Okay, thats not funny. I know you're not trying to hurt me, but I'd like your support. I don't diss your goals do I?..."
It's tough to do, especially when it hurts you, but in the long run it'll make your relationship with her stronger as a best friend :)
(Sorry for the late reply)
Okay, so here's the background story: My best friend (We'll call him John) and I spent basically all summer together and went on a week-long mission trip together where we got even closer. I liked him all through the summer and mission trip, but I put it aside because John has a girlfriend. Because he's my best friend, I was having drama with another guy a couple weeks after the trip and was venting to him about it. When I said I was done with the other guy, John started hinting that he liked me.
So finally I find out from him that he had liked me too over the summer and it strengthed even more over mission trip. But here's the problem: I'm away at my first year of college, and he is still a senior in high school with a girlfriend. When I asked him about her, he said "Yeah, we're still dating, but I don't know for how much longer." John keeps telling me all these things that are wrong with his current relationship (they have broken up 3 different times over the past few years) but still hasn't done anything about it. We talk every day and are still best friends, but I can't keep doing this knowing that he hsa a girlfriend. It is torture to me, knowing that I can't have him. What should I do?
Sounds like he wants his cake and to eat it too... In the nicest way possible. To me, it seems like he's comfortable in his current relationship but is still curious about what else is out there like you for example. Its up to you to determine how you want to deal with him.
-could you two ever have a chance together? Especially with you being in college, meeting new people etc and he being a year behind.
-how much does it hurt you to be like this with him. Does it hurt enough to cut ties? I went through something similar to this and in the long run we had to cut ties completely because it was too hard emotionally and it was unfair for the both of us. We agreed that we just needed space and that maybe in time we could eventually be friends again (sounds awful but it was becoming to much to handle without crossing boundaries). As much as you want to be friends and be there for each other, sometimes being there is what hurts the most.
Ultimately be honest with him and yourself. If it hurts you too much, then don't put yourself through it. Your starting a new chapter with your life and you'll meet so many people! Holding out on a guy who is with someone else won't do you any good. Try talking to him about it, if he can keep his relationship problems and flirting seperate then that's a great way to stay friends until the time is right if you two are meant to be together. If not, then think about separating or distancing yourself a bit. It's hard for sure, but if he can't respect your feelings then what good is it to stick around?
xoxo take care! stay strong & good luck! :)
So I met this guy in the Canadian Forces. We met randomely, but our personalities clicked instantly. The first night he initiated sex. Then, we spent every night together that week getting to know eachother. He would kiss me, we'd hold hands, he would flirt (still flirts) with me and we'd cuddle - he is so sweet. This is now a week since he's been gone to his next destination and knowing he was in the forces for 3 years straight, there were some personal questions I had wanted to ask, such as: if he had ever been in a serious relationship over that 3 year time period and if so, how did it turn out :s it never seemed like the right time to bring the topic up...
I know this is his full time job, so it'd be a full time dedication if we were to date, let alone get serious. About myself: I am the kind of person who wouldnt't leave him cuz he has a job to attend to; but the kind of person who would support him in any decision he makes. I myself have dated lots of wrong guys who've treated me like crap.. so Lets just say, if I found an amazing guy, let it be a military one, I'd work to make it work out - even if it means moving around to random places, having small contact with him, and seeing him only once every few months. I also know its kind of early in the relationship to maybe even bring up what his dating life has been like.. but since he's been gone, all I can do is think about him. We have texted eachother everyday spite my busy work schedule (I'm in the culinary field) and his busy career; He seems to have an interest in me and I know I'm interested in him.. so I guess my questions are: How could I bring up the dating topic? And how could I ask him out - not necessarily now, but in the future. Curiosity about what he'd even think/say to that last question is killing me at the moment I guess, lol. I already know he's a hard working, dedicated, rough but sweet guy. He kissed me passionately then blew me a kiss off his fingers the last time I saw him (awh). I think if there's an amazing guy just out of my grasp, I should at least try to reach him... he's 23, I'm 20.
Welcome to the "falling for Canadian soldiers" club! Haha. I'm dating one myself. I'd hold off on the serious questions for now just because everything is still new. But I'd be willing to bet that he either hasn't been in a serious relationship during that time (between starting basic 3 yrs ago to finally being posted somewhere to settle, it's difficult to find the time) or he entered the military with a girlfriend and it didn't work because of it. That's generally the way it goes. Spend your time getting to know him and what you guys like from each other. If he likes you he'll def make the first move to initiate a relationship.
I always liked to play "you ask me something and I'll ask you.." game. Especially when they're gone and your limited to texting, sometimes the conversations can get a little dry. So you can try it that way to bring up your questions without seeming to "in his face".
Feel free to email me (address on my page) if you wanna chat!
i was very very deeply hurt by a person 4 years back ,i have no contact with him for past 2 years,but now i heard that he got ms orthopaedics in good college,on hearing this i felt jealousy and unhappy,sad.i am 25 years old.i am from india.i am doing md community medicine .initially i was content with my career but now i felt discontent by comparing with him like that he will earn more money,he will get more recognition,approval than me.need advice please
Id say that's definitely a normal reaction especially since he hurt you. Let's say he didn't hurt you then you'd wish him all the best right? Although it's difficult to not compare, try to remind yourself why you have chosen that career. If you were content with it before then I'm sure that this feeling of uncertainty and jealousy will pass. Just keep on doing as you are and try not to compare yourself to him or anyone else for that matter. Jealousy can only make problems if you let it :) Keep working hard and you'll get all of the recognition you deserve!
Xoxo take care!
i am doing md in community medicine . i can t able to handle the rude senior person in my work place.when they make criticism on me i feel like crying.i m 24 years old.i am away from home.i have no friends here.there is no interest in my life. morning wakeup,then job,then home watching tv,studying sleep then next day and continues.i am feeling self pity because there is no recognition for me in my work place. i feel that there is no approval for me because my friends are doing md /ms in clinical subjects ,this make me self pity .i am from india .need advice
That's tough. It's hard to be in a new place or job atmosphere and not know anyone and the same old routine can be tiring. And trying to break the routine can be stressful because it feels like you won't have time to do the things that you need to get done example: studying.
As hard as it is, try and find something different that interests you. A new hobby, maybe a book club, even look into going to a gym, anything that'll help you meet people.
As for work, just mind your own business and do what needs to get done. It takes a lot of time to find your place at a job. Not every job atmosphere will click right away.
Stay strong and remember why you're doing what you're doing. If you love it, then focus on that. And if in the long run you're not happy with it, then there are always other opportunities out there to look into :)