About EricStarr
Hi! My name is Rick (Eric is my middle name) Im an average guy who has been lucky enough to raise 5 wonderful children. 4 girls and a boy, and Im proud how they all turned out. I don't know what, but I must have done something right LOL.
My Hobbies are fitness, sailing, Scuba diving, golf and computers. I'm currently a corporate trainer, training managers in motivational skills and love what I do. I feel Advicenators is and excellent place to share experiences and ideas with others. Im looking forward to sharing with you!
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Website: MySpace website
E-mail: Ericstarr4u@aol.com
Gender: Male
Location: Chicago
Age: 41
Member Since: January 23, 2005
Answers: 78
Last Update: June 27, 2006
Visitors: 10896
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This guy that I used to want to date is showing some less than desirable qualities. Firstly, I found out he's a gay basher. He says that when queer eye for the straight guy comes on the television he wants to throw his boot through the screen. He's also sexist, and has said to me that men are smarter than woman, and that woman are stupid. He also said that anyone over 30 who isnt married must be gay, and that I'm a prude for saving myself for marriage. He's also made nasty comments about my weight, and I'm not fat, just average.The funny thing is he thinks he's hot but he's really not, he's about 20 pounds overweight and has an ugly hairstyle and outdated clothes. I would love to put him in his place one day but am too "nice". But it makes me mad when he constantly puts me and his other friends down. Should I say something to him? (link)
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It sounds like he is acting this way out of his own insecurity. You say he thinks hes hot but Im sure its just a front covering the fact that hes very unsure about himself. Acting the way he does makes him feel better about himself at the time, but sooner or later he will realize that he's hurting his reputation not helping.
If hes a true and real friend I would talk to him about that and find his true feelings, if he's just an aquantence and you have no interest in taking it any further, I would just leave it alone
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I have an extremely sore throat. It wouldn't be a big deal but I have singing try-outs for the school play on Tuesday. Does anyone know how to heal a sore throat fast? Thanks. (link)
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When I was in Show Choir in High School, we used to live on Halls! Rest your voice, gargle with warm salt water every few hours (but DONT swallow Eeeeeewwwwwww) and....get some Halls!
~E
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hey im a girl and im bout to be 15..i feel like i *need* a boyfriend but i cant find any guy that i would want as one...every time i start "talkin" (thats what we call it here..it means that were both likin each other and we konw that we like each other but he hasnt asked me out yet hah) idk what happens...we talk for a lil bit but every time i like totally ditch him and i dont know why..i mean i want a boyfriend but im havin trouble gettin one in a way..i mean im scared im gonna get the reputation as a hoe or somethin bc everytime i end it with someone theres always a *back-up* i guess you could say bc a day or 2 later i have another guy..what is wrong with me? should i just leave the guys alone and be single for a while? is this jus a phase? do you think a lot of gurls go thru this?.. (link)
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I think your doing what dating at 15 should be. You shouldnt be tying yourself down or getting too serious with one boy. This is the time you should be "talkin" with different boys to see what qualities you like in a boy so that when its time to get serious and find a life partner you will know exactly what you want.
As far as being seen as a "hoe" that wont happen if your just "talkin" and not makin out or stuff with all of them.
Good luck!
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respected advicenators,
well i am from india, and currently doing my master of science in life sciences- biotechnology.
but after completing the course this year i would like to for mba. well how is my decision? secondly, should i do a job first gain an experience and then go for an mba or just start preparing for mba entrance without and job experience.
i have taken this decision since i am not interested in research jobs. please to provide me a proper advice. i am really very confused.
thanking you. (link)
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Have you taken any aptitude tests designed to give you advice on a career choice based on your interests and skills? If not I would start there. If it turns out your suited for a leadership position in business then go for it!
If you arent interested in research why go into Biotechnology? My grampa once told me if you find somthing you love to do, you'll never have to work a day in your life. Meaning... the "work" you do should be somthing you enjoy so it doesnt seem like work.
Good luck!
~E
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My friend is acting all weird now because she started to be able to shop at abercrombie and fitch. She acts all like preppy and tries to now hang out with the popular kids. I miss the old her what should i do (link)
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This may go against what most kids your age can understand but thats a plus for you! When you see your friend, compliment her. Tell her how good she looks in her new cloths, and how you are happy for her. Chances are the new crowd shes hanging with see her as a "wanna be" You on the other hand are a true friend and she will see that if you dont let the phase shes going thru get to you.
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okay me and mi friend(aimee) got into a fight over a really stupid thingy and now i am sry but i dont wanna let her know because im still kinna mad about how she hurt me. what should i do???
~meagan~ (link)
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You can tell your friend "Im really sorry we had a disagreement" You arent admitting any guilt, your just saying your sorry that you dissagreed not that you did anything wrong.
I learned one thing a long time ago. It doesnt hurt to say Im sorry, even if it wasnt your fault. A good friendship worth saving is always worth 2 simple words.
~E
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I am 5'4 and I am 220 pounds....I really wanna lose weight before july when I go to the beach. Atleast like 40 pounds. I don't have much money to go to the gym nor time. I have been overweight all my life and I really wanna change!!! We have an ab lounger but I don't think its working. I am addicted to food. Please give me any info websites or anything that can help me pleasee!! thank you!! (link)
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So your addicted to food hu?? GREAT! The best way to loose weight is to eat. The formula is simple. You weigh 220 so that means 2200 calories a day to maintain your weight. You want to loose 2 to 3 lbs per week max. So reduce your calories by 700/ day. Eat a 250 calorie meal every 3 hours, this will keep your body from going into starvation mode and speed up your metabolism. Drink LOTS Of water Add about 45 min of walking every day, and you'll create a calorie deficit of 10,000 calories/week. Since you have to burn 3500 calories to loose one pound of fat this will cause you to loose 3 lb/week. Also, what you eat is important. Use fist size portions. Each meal eat a fist sized portion of lean meat of some kind and a fist size portion of complex carbs like vegetables of some kind.
If you need more private help catch me in my in box. Good Luck!
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Okay well I am a 17 female and i will be 18 on Saturday. Lately i've had really low self esteem which is really strange for me. I'm a good athlete and I have no problem with my looks or my body, and I have lots of friends. But for some reason lately I just get this vibe from EVERYONE that i'm just not wanted. And it is for no particular reason, nothing has changed and i haven't gotten into any fights with my friends or anything. Its so weird, like for example, if one of my friends calls one of my other friends when i am with her i will feel hurt becuase she didn't call me, which i know is really silly and i've never been like this in my life. One of my teachers didn't agree with an opinion i gave in school today and she agreed with one of my friends and i just automatically thought that she hates me and doesn't like me which i know is obsurd. In my head i know i'm acting ridiculous but I'm still hurt everytime something small like this happens. I'm starting to feel really bad about myself and I can't figure out why, but it's driving me crazy. I won't even go to partys anymore becuase I feel like no one wants me there, but I have no reason to think this. I'm becoming very antisocial and this definitly isn't me. I'm desperate for some help! (link)
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It could have somthing to do with the fact you are turning 18. You say your a good athlete and have no problem with your looks, thats great! However, you are an older teen. At 18 you are about to be "new" at being an adult. The beginning of your adult life can be scarey and make you do alot of self reflecting. I recommend finding an adult that you most admire, and want to be like, a "mentor" so to speak. You will find that you become the kind of person you think about and associate with. So think about and associate with people you admire and respect. You will find you begin to admire and respect yourself more and more as well!
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Recently, I've thought about trying to learn the guitar. I don't really know anything about guitars but I also play the clarinet. Does knowing how to read that kind of music help in reading guitar music? And is it really hard to learn it when first starting out? (link)
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Yes, your knowledge in reading music will help you in your quest to learn to play the guitar.
Also, the dexterity you've most likely developed in your fingers will be a big plus as well. Its just a matter of learning what strings and frets make the notes on the staff that you want to play. At first you may have sore fingers till the tips develop calluses from the strings but you'll do great. Enjoy!
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I really really like this guy, and he totally leads me on and he was all over me a few weeks go but he has a girlfriend but he totally flirts. it's so confusing. he always hints stuff out like he would like me but i hear so much i hear that he thinks im annoying cause i like him while he has a girlfriend but one of his bestfriends said its not true and he talks about me all the time and he likes me alot but see i dont know if that means that he likes me likes me or just likes me. and everytime he sees me in school he like talks to me or finds a way to say hi and he looks pretty much a lot..do you have any advice on how i can tell if he likes me or what i shoudld do..i am just so confused..help me, please
singed - confused (link)
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Look at it this way. You say he has a girlfriend, he totally flirts, and likes you. Now, imagine you being his new girlfriend. What makes you think he still wouldn't "totally flirt", and like other girls. If you are just interested in going on a date with this guy and having fun, fine. Being young and single is the time to date different people and find the qualities you are looking for in a life partner down the road. However, dont expect this guy to be your one and only and do not expect to be his.
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My friend is a horrible singer and he wants to be fameus and sing on american idol but he sucks really bad.. i dont know how to tell him
PLEASE HELP ME !
(link)
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Let your friend go after his dream. Support him, encourage him and be ready to be there if he fails. If he asks your honest opinion be honest, but tell him you will still support him and be there for him because thats what real friends are for.
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i went out with my boyfriend for 9 months, and he was my 'first person', but things happend and we broke up :( . This was about 3.5 months ago, and he has a new girlfriend now. So i dicided to move on to and now i have this guy who i like and he likes me a lot too. But i have a problem because every time i'm with him i think about my ex! i can't do it :( ... it hurts inside to think of being with any1 else. THe problem is, my ex boyfriend doesnt want to talk to me, but somtimes i know that he misses me to, but doesnt want to be with me again. What do i do? I'm so lost :( please help, ill rate. (link)
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Unfortunalty for you, most people never forget their "first person" as you put it. I guess thats a strong argument for waiting for the right person even though very few of us really do. You just have to move on. Try to remember the good things about the first time and dont dwell on the loss. Try to think of it as a special moment that was shared but now its time to move on and make more and better special moments. Learn from the past, live in the present, and look twards the future.
~E
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Ok, heres whats going on, I have A computer and everytime I hook my screen up to it it says "Please check signal cable" and I move the cable around and it still doenst seem to work, it was working the last time I hooked it up but its not working now, so does anyone know what the problem is or what I could do to get it to work? I'll rate HIGH for anyone who can help me out with this, Thanks! (link)
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The problem may not be your monitor or cable at all. You could have a bad Video card on the computer itself. See if you can borrow a friends monitor and see if that works. If it doesnt it's most likley the video card or Slot on the mother board.
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NEED HELP NOW!!
Ok so the other night me and my boyfriend had a talk about about porn and I asked him all these questions... and he told me that he'd only looked at it/watched it three times on kazaa... so I made him swear on us and on my life and he did, but then today me and his friend were joking and he said my b/f just had porn on his computer so i was joking around and I said I was gonna check his computer and see and he got all defensive and wouldn't let me, but then when I did... I found like 10 different websites on his computer... They're all from a long time ago, but still he lied to me! Do I have a right to be mad at him? especially since he swore on us and my life!?!?
WHAT SHOULD I DO???
PS: he appologize a LOT and said he was sorry and he loved me "so much" but I feel like an idiot now for believing him... I need help please give me advice!! (link)
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First of all I dont agree with most here that Guys "Have to look at porn" its a choice they make. Granted 95% of guys make that choice with the wrong head but it is a choice they make, especially if they are teen boys. Horomones are much stronger than reason.
However, to answer your question, One way to look at it is this...Does it matter where he gets hungry as long as he comes home for dinner? The important thing and I think what concerns you most is honesty in the relationship. I would talk to him and ask him to be honest about it in the future. If he feels its going to hurt your feelings He is going to cover it up. Just understand that a teen boy looking at porn in no way means he doesnt have real feelings for you.
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Hello. Im asking advice today for a stupid little problem i have, but im not sure if there is any way i could control it. If im in school, or with my friends, or whatever (by the way im 14), when they mention "mom" or "dad", or "family", my eyes start to water and i just about cry. Not the "WAA-WAA" kind, it is just the red face, tears coming down and stuff, no squeaking or any of that crazy stuff. I cant say anything about parents or anything. When i talk about my family when someone asks, my voice gets shaky and i choke, and it makes me very uncomfortable because crying in front of the class isnt really a fun interest. I cry because my family has...problems. I just feel like i want either them or me to die. I feel like i hate them so much. Its not some "im mad at them because they took away my cell phone" kind of thing. Its more of a love issue. Im seeing a therapist but that is not working, she's not changing them. Well, in a nutshell, whenever someone talks about their parents, and when i talk about mine, i cry. Umm, i hope someone can help me with this, if its possible. Thank you. (link)
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Without knowing at least a little about the "Problems" you feel your family has, its hard to give advice on exactly what I would do. If the problems are of a legal, moral or life threatening nature my advice could be completely different. However, since you stated you are seeing a councilor, I have to assume that the problems are not of that nature or the councilor would take appropriate action.
One comment you made however makes me wonder about your expectations. You stated "I'm seeing a therapist but that is not working, she's not changing them." If you are seeing a councilor, why would THEY be the ones changing? Even if they are the soul reason of your unhappiness, If I were you, I wouldn't expect them to change by your seeing a councilor. If you would like more direct advice, I would try choosing someone here and perhaps go into a little more detail on your problems. Just remember no problem is a "stupid little problem" to the one that is experiencing it, and neither is yours. My inbox is open if you so choose to use it!
~Eric
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ive become really depressed lately..bc of my weight...im five feet tall and i weigh 135. i dont think im fat but then again i dont know...i have big boobs and a butt..so that sometimes gets mistaken for fat also and makes me look bigger...can someone plz tell me how to get rid of all this weight? i dont have a gym memebership so i cant work out...any suggestions?? (link)
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First of all you are not fat. According to your height and weight you have a Body mass index of 26.4 A healthy BMI is 19 to 25 so you aren't far off. I feel too many people are trying to attain that too thin "super model" look and that isn't healthy either. However, if you still think you need to loose some weight, only 5 to 10 lbs will put you in the Healthy zone.
The best way to do this for your weight is to eat a 1200 calorie a day diet. Eat a 200 calorie meal every three hours consisting of 60% protein, 30% carbs and 10% healthy fats. In addition, try simply walking about 45 min and a good pace 3 times a week. This should increase your metabolism and you will drop a healthy 2 lbs a week. After 5 weeks, your there!
Good luck!
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OMG I get soo pissed when i think about it! WEll, see first of all i wanna gain weight. Like I'm 103 pounds which i think is liek sooo underweight ccuz i think im like 5'3''...like i don't know if anyone remembers in the movie mean girls...but those bars that make you gain weight... well i was soo going to get that but my mom said NO like she says i am at a good weight...! But see Im annorexic and i don't throw up or anything...the worst part is i eat like all the time...and i swear i don't gain a pound! So can someone tell me an easy way to gain weight w/out using pills, or bars or shakes or anything like that ? THANK U ! (link)
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It sounds like you have a very fast metabolism. Many people would love to have that. However that fact doesnt help you. In order for you to gain weight you need to slow down your metabolism. You weigh 103 lbs, that means to maintain your current weight you only need to eat approx 1030 calories daily. Your body can safley only gain 2 lbs per week. To do this you need to eat 7000 calories/week above your BMR or a total of 2000 calories/day. In order for your body to actually assimilate and use the all the calories you will ingest, you have to reduce your meal size and increase your meal frequency. Splitting your calories into smaller, more frequent portions will enable food absorption and utilization of nutrients . Try to eat six 300 calorie meals each day, evenly spaced out at three-hour intervals. Your goal is to provide your body with constant nourishment throughout the day. Try to eat 40% protine, 40% carbs, and 20% fat. Exercise for short periods of time using some kind of weights. This will help slow your metabolism and give your muscles shape.
If you need any clarification or further help Id be glad to help.
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how often a week should you do toning (by this i mean situps, crunches, lunges, and squats)? is everyday okay? and if you're doing these things, do you really need to do weights in the gym? (link)
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To stay in top physical shape, its best to let your muscles rebuild before tearing them down again. Its not the exercise that tones or builds muscle its the repair they do after words. Once you exercise you stress a muscle. The muscle repairs itself by growing harder or bigger depending on whether you are exercising the fast twitch cells (for size) or slow twitch cells (tone and endurance) I recommend never working a body part till it has had time to heal or you will just be wasting your time.
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