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Lost
Okay well I am a 17 female and i will be 18 on Saturday. Lately i've had really low self esteem which is really strange for me. I'm a good athlete and I have no problem with my looks or my body, and I have lots of friends. But for some reason lately I just get this vibe from EVERYONE that i'm just not wanted. And it is for no particular reason, nothing has changed and i haven't gotten into any fights with my friends or anything. Its so weird, like for example, if one of my friends calls one of my other friends when i am with her i will feel hurt becuase she didn't call me, which i know is really silly and i've never been like this in my life. One of my teachers didn't agree with an opinion i gave in school today and she agreed with one of my friends and i just automatically thought that she hates me and doesn't like me which i know is obsurd. In my head i know i'm acting ridiculous but I'm still hurt everytime something small like this happens. I'm starting to feel really bad about myself and I can't figure out why, but it's driving me crazy. I won't even go to partys anymore becuase I feel like no one wants me there, but I have no reason to think this. I'm becoming very antisocial and this definitly isn't me. I'm desperate for some help!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
You're righat at the age that most women start feeling some signs of depression. I don't know how long you've felt like this, but I'm not of the school that you shoudl start medicating at the first signs of depression.
Below is what psychiatrists use to "define depression"
Diagnostic Criteria [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
1. At least one of the following three abnormal moods which significantly interfered with the person's life:
1. Abnormal depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day, for at least 2 weeks.
2. Abnormal loss of all interest and pleasure most of the day, nearly every day, for at least 2 weeks.
3. If 18 or younger, abnormal irritable mood most of the day, nearly every day, for at least 2 weeks.
2. At least five of the following symptoms have been present during the same 2 week depressed period.
1. Abnormal depressed mood (or irritable mood if a child or adolescent) [as defined in criterion A].
2. Abnormal loss of all interest and pleasure [as defined in criterion A2].
3. Appetite or weight disturbance, either:
* Abnormal weight loss (when not dieting) or decrease in appetite.
* Abnormal weight gain or increase in appetite.
4. Sleep disturbance, either abnormal insomnia or abnormal hypersomnia.
5. Activity disturbance, either abnormal agitation or abnormal slowing (observable by others).
6. Abnormal fatigue or loss of energy.
7. Abnormal self-reproach or inappropriate guilt.
8. Abnormal poor concentration or indecisiveness.
9. Abnormal morbid thoughts of death (not just fear of dying) or suicide.
3. The symptoms are not due to a mood-incongruent psychosis.
4. There has never been a Manic Episode, a Mixed Episode, or a Hypomanic Episode.
5. The symptoms are not due to physical illness, alcohol, medication, or street drugs.
6. The symptoms are not due to normal bereavement.
Although for you, I would not medicate or what have you for depression. You are at a major stepping stone of your life- you'll officially be an adult. It is a time of self-reflection and doubt. You may feel that you are now an adult and that you aren't fun anymore b/c you're not technically a kid either. If you really feel down, you can talk to your parents about these feelings or friends that you may feel might understand. They can support you during this time and your best friends will always see you through your hard times (if not, then they are not really your friends).
If it continues though where it really starts to effect your sleep, work, and health then you may want to talk to your doctor about it. give it time though and hoepfully it will pass.
Best of luck,
Arun
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Insecurity about yourself will only put you in a box that no one will open. First you have to feel comfortable for who you are. You are a young woman with her whole life ahead of her. Be positive with yourseldf and the people who hang around with. They will feed off your energy and want to be around you more.
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You serisouly need to start having more self confidence. Talk to a guidance counsler or something. Belive me teachers are just like that.. and I'm sure that you are wanted. Just ask around and stuff to make sure that your really not like right that people don't want you. Ask your friends or teachers or people why they have been "acting different" towards you. Best luck.
-Jessie
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It could have somthing to do with the fact you are turning 18. You say your a good athlete and have no problem with your looks, thats great! However, you are an older teen. At 18 you are about to be "new" at being an adult. The beginning of your adult life can be scarey and make you do alot of self reflecting. I recommend finding an adult that you most admire, and want to be like, a "mentor" so to speak. You will find that you become the kind of person you think about and associate with. So think about and associate with people you admire and respect. You will find you begin to admire and respect yourself more and more as well!
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Hey...
It sounds like depression, im diagnosed with it and posses many of the symptoms your describing, but with me its a little more complicated, but for you i would recomend just ignoring it and seeing if it goes away, try to talk to your friends, and make small talk or do what ever you and your friends will normally do, and if you feel bad , try to ignore it. It might be a small depression and it might not. Good luck!
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