"People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone." - Audrey Hepburn
I came to this site for advice about a man and love. That very question turned my entire world around and I have had my eyes opened to things I never noticed before.
I've stayed here so that I can share the knowledge I do have. I know I'm not changing the world but I do hope that I spark others to open their eyes.
"The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself." - Oscar Wilde
So, if you learn something from what I say then repeat it to someone else who can use it.
I hope that if you see an answer of mine that you enjoy it will inspire you to go out of your way to give good, solid information. Provide links for further information, detail your responses, encourage people to seek out professionals when it's needed, and stop sugar-coating responses and just say the truth.
I hope that even if you absolutely hate my answer that it'll kick start your brain. Hopefully you'll begin taking your time to respond instead of hurried answers that are useless to an already confused person.
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." - Robert Frost
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female/teenager
hello, well im almost 'in my 6th month' of pregnancy. i didnt know i was pregnant until a month ago because my periods normally VERY irregular...
the problem is before i found out i have been smokin weed, drinkin, & smokin cigarettes. until 2 months ago, i was smokin a pack of cigs a day. 3 months ago, i was drinkin everyday. im only an occasional pot smoker ! so the past two months ive only drank wine and smoked about 4 cigarettes a day because i jus felt like doin better for myself (motherly instict i guess ?)
now my question is... is there ANYWAY that i can reverse the damage ive done ?? or improve the chances of my baby bein healthy !? the doctor says its fine but i know someone who they said that about and his mom drank and now his eyes roll around and he stutters :(
THANKS ! (link)
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Based on your previous question, you've known you were pregnant since, at the very least, August. At that point, you were actually looking for a bra to fit you more properly since you were pregnant so, chances are, you knew quite a while before that date that you were pregnant.
Now that you've made the mistakes though there isn't any way to take them back. The first couple of months of a baby's life is the most vital in development of vital bodily organs and structures. You, apparently, chose to neglect the health of your baby and continue to smoke weed, smoke cigarettes, and drink alcohol. Why you didn't just stop when you found out is beyond me. How can anyone not love and care about their unborn baby within them?
Now that the damage is done the only thing you can do is to try to do a complete 180 and turn your lifestyle around before the baby is born. You should pray that your baby does not physical or mental deformities from your own selfish acts.
I'm not trying to belittle you but I cannot grasp anyone who would do this to their own baby and honesty think someone would believe their doctor would tell them that it's all fine and dandy. I guarantee your doctor never said such things when you told him you were smoking weed and drinking alcohol! If he did, then I hope you have enough sense to find a better doctor that really cares about the health of you and your baby!
ONE time can be all it takes to hurt the fragile being inside of you. ONE drunken night! ONE hit from a joint! ONE cigarette! That is a fragile human being growing inside of you--developing eyes, lips, hair, everything! Starting from the basic unit of life--the cell! You cannot simply believe that "occasional" usage of pot isn't going to affect your baby.
For informational purposes (maybe this will knock some sense into you and you will STOP what you've been doing!):
Marijuana use during pregnant and the SERIOUS risks involved:
"Believe it or not, weed can very well hurt your unborn baby--severely, at that. Here is a little information:
"Marijuana has been shown to affect babies, too.
We know that marijuana crosses the placenta, and can be found in the newborn's body for up to a month after a single use. Just like smoking tobacco, it causes less oxygen and food to get to the baby. This factor alone affects your baby's growth and brain development. Newborns of mothers who have used marijuana throughout pregnancy cry more. Some studies suggest that children exposed to marijuana while in the womb are at increased risk for attention disorders and learning problems that might not show up until school age.
Some say that they smoked marijuana and their baby seems fine but...
They might have been lucky. There is much we don't know about how marijuana affects developing babies. Marijuana is used in different strengths, mixed with other drugs and even sprayed with weed killers when it is grown. These factors all make any pot use during pregnancy risky."
(From: http://www.thinkpregnancy.org/english/marijuana.htm )
If that doesn't sound so serious yet, take a look at the BBC information that has performed some scientific research regarding marijuana inhalation during pregnancy, some of which have shown to mess with brain chemistry in fetus':
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/2871901.stm
Stop smoking immediately, for the health of your baby. This can be very serious and you will be to blame if you give birth to a child that is deformed or handicapped in some form (just being serious here).
Always remember that if you are having sex--"protected" or not--you are risking pregnancy. This means that if you become pregnant and don't know it for 2 weeks but smoke within that time you are putting harmful substances in your baby before it even has a chance to grow and develop within you. The early stages of pregnancy are fragile because the fetus is still getting genetically lined out, and cells are still positioning themselves to grow limbs, genitals, and even eyes.
Don't believe the BS about weed not hurting anyone. There is evidence that THC affects female reproductive function. There is evidence that THC, and possibly other cannabinoids, are teratogens (substances that may interfere with the normal development of the fetus). The animal evidence indicates that cannabis can produce resorption, growth retardation, and malformations in mice, rats, rabbits, and hamsters
It has been speculated that teratogenesis could conceivably produce chromosomal abnormalities or genetic change in either parent which could be transmitted to their offspring. Yes, it means that weed usage MAY mess your genetics up--long-term, as in, forever. There is also speculation that marijuana inhalation may increase risks for cancer."
In regards to alcohol consumption when pregnant:
"There is no known safe level of alcohol when pregnant. Recent research shows birth defects can also take the form of something other than a visual physical abnormality such as a malformed body part.
Another serious type of birth defect not usually associated with the term "birth defects" is called a neurological defect and can occur from subtle alterations in brain organization or chemistry during pregnancy. The consequences of such a defect can appear later as a behavior problem, learning disability, attention deficit disorder, hyperactivity, aggression, violent tendencies, impulsivity or even reduced personality and increased shyness. Any of these traits could then be considered a neurological birth defect from alcohol consumption by the mother during pregnancy.
Women who consume alcoholic beverages for the first three months of pregnancy have probably left it too late to benefit from giving up", claims The Independent. The newspaper says a study shows that "the damaging effect of alcohol on pregnancy occurs during the first trimester, and cannot be reversed by stopping at that point". The Daily Mail says that drinking in early pregnancy made an early birth 2.3 times more likely.
The risks of heavy drinking during pregnancy
First trimester (months 0-3):
* Damage to developing organs and nervous system, resulting in later mental and physical problems
* Major structural abnormalities
* Spontaneous miscarriage
Second trimester (months 3-6):
* Continued risk of damage to the central nervous system
* Continued risk of miscarriage
Third trimester (months 6-9):
* Disruption to general growth and development
* Dulled mental abilities
* Minor abnormalities
* Low birth-weight"
In regards to cigarette smoke during pregnancy:
"Damage to the fetus also includes injuries that are not birth defects, such as low birth weight, premature delivery, respiratory problems, developmental delays, or even death. The safest way to prevent toxin-related damage is to stop toxin exposure before pregnancy. The longer and heavier a woman smokes, drinks, takes other drugs, or is exposed to other toxins, the more the fetus is at risk of harm.
Low birthweight can result from poor growth before birth, preterm delivery or a combination of both. Smoking has long been known to slow fetal growth. Smoking also increases the risk of preterm delivery (before 37 weeks of gestation). Premature and low-birthweight babies face an increased risk of serious health problems during the newborn period, chronic lifelong disabilities (such as cerebral palsy, mental retardation and learning problems), and even death. "
There is absolutely no way to reverse the effects of your habits. The baby cannot just stop growing and "go back" a few months for your mental benefit. The growth and progress the baby has made is where it will be right now. It's up to you to provide a safe, secure, healthy environment for your baby inside of your womb until birth. Please, use your brain from now on. If you're tempted, think about the baby within you. Think about the life you would want that baby to have. Think about the dangers you are putting it in front of and how much it may damage that child for it's entire life. Stopping your drinking/smoking/drug use for only 9 MONTHS is all that baby is asking for! PLEASE! It deserves a chance at life!
Stop using the drugs and alcohol. Just stop. If you absolutely have to continue then at least wait until the baby is born and then give it to someone who will actually care about it's health. Seriously. I can't believe some of the things people do...
Oh, and seriously get a new doctor if he/she really did tell you that they weren't concerned over the health of your baby since you've been drinking, smoking, and using illegal substances.
Yeah, it's serious. It might be time to straighten up and gain some maturity at this time. The baby will be born in no time. Sometimes you have to put your own wants aside for the life of someone else, especially someone who is relying on you to keep them safe and healthy.
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Im 15,female.Well my boufriend and i play with each other. he sticks only the head of his dick in. He has never cummed in me but im still scared. im still a virgin and want to know if there is any possibility of getting pregnant? please help me.....And wat are the possibilities? Please answer!!! (link)
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Having a penis inside of you--even just a little bit--means you've lost your virginity. Virginity is not an emotional thing. Virginity is actually very physical. Some people argue that if the hymen is intact then the virginity remains--you have no way "out" of this--you have had a penis inside of you (even just a little bit) and you've had your hymen broken.
It's time to deal with the phrase, "No longer a virgin." It isn't scary as long as you keep your head on straight. You ARE no longer considered a virgin. If a doctor asked you if you are a virgin and you answered, "Yes," then you would be lying, even if it was unintentional.
Yes, you can become pregnant even if the penis was only inside of you a little bit and only for a few seconds. Especially if the male has recently ejaculated.
You see, the semen are still in the tube of the penis long after the initial ejaculation. When the male is aroused again, it's even MORE likelier that he will release some of those semen, just slightly, from his penis. If the fluid is enough to moisten the area at the vagina then it's enough to impregnate someone. Seriously.
ONE sperm fertilizes an egg. ONE. It doesn't take a lot. One sperm can slide out of the penis (there's A LOT more than one sperm per drop of semen, by the way) and enter your vagina. From the vagina, they know to use their fluttering tail to move upward into the uterus and to the egg for fertilization. It's what they were created for!
Technically, even if there is not penile penetration but his fluids come in contact with your fluids there is a chance pregnancy could occur. Any time a guy's semen even remotely comes in contact with your vaginal fluid there is a chance of pregnancy. It only takes one sperm to fertilize one egg and they are created to do whatever it takes to accomplish fertilization.
Engaging in sexual activities means always taking the risk of becoming pregnant since no contraceptive is 100% effective. Please get yourself completely informed before deciding to participate in such activities.
Purchase a few home pregnancy tests and test yourself occassionally if your period does not come next month. Some home pregnancy tests are better than others. According to a couple of studies done, First Response and Early Result Pregnancy Test are the two best kinds to purchase because they are slightly more sensitive than the others. You may want to pick up a couple of those for home usage in the future. Just because you aren't pregnant this time doesn't mean those little guys won't succeed next time, especially if you're not going to begin using a form of birth control.
Be smart and be safe from now on.
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how do i keep my vagina clean?...not smelly (link)
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First, you must realize that you will always have some sort of odor. It is natural for females to have a bit of an odor down there because your body is constantly cleansing itself. If the odor has recently changed then it could be a sign of a bacterial infection--something only a doctor can determine and supply medication for.
The best way to wash your vagina is with clean, clear, soapless water.
Typically girls will take some soap and clean the sides of that area where your thigh meets the pubic region, but they have to be very careful not to get the soap into the vagina.
If you get soap in your vagina you can end up with a nasty yeast infection, which will take some treatments to get rid of, and possibly a visit to the doctor.
So, my normal routine is this:
Wash body off with body wash.
Rinse washcloth.
Take washcloth and soap it up again.
Lightly "scrub" where my thighs meet my pubic region, staying clear away from the slit where the vagina is.
Rinse off area thoroughly with clean water.
After rinsing off all of the soap, rinse the slit and vagina with water. Do not try to "fill" your vagina up with water or anything--just wash it off like you had soap on it and were trying to rinse the soap off.
Take clean wet washcloth (no soap at all on it) and wash off the inner portions of the slit in case anything is trapped in a little fold or anything.
So, in short:
Use water and no soap for the actual vagina or you'll end up very unhappy.
In addition, never douche. Douching is very, very bad for your body no matter what the packaging says for it. It clears out too much of the good bacteria and most women end up with very bad infections sooner or later.
If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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I have really bad cramps right now. Is there anything I can eat or drink to help them not be so bad? I don't want to take medicine though. (link)
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Heating pads usually help relieve these sorts of pains because, in actuality, it's similar to muscle cramps. Basically, the muscle of your uterus is contracting to help shed and expel the old uterine lining. This being said, heat helps to relax those muscles for contracting so strongly.
Now, since heating pads are, obviously, not available at school...you may want to look into some of those ThermaCare patches made specifically for menstrual times. My friend used some and, as I recall, you basically just peel one side off and sticky it to your panties where they touch your lower abdomen (where the cramps are) and it releases heat for ~6+ hours.
Here is the website for the ThermaCare patches for Menstrual Cramps, which includes a listing of places that currently sell such products (Wal-Mart, CVS, RiteAid, basically any pharmacy or drug store):
http://www.thermacare.com/menstrual/how_it_works.aspx
So, you could carry one of these sort of patches in your purse and excuse yourself to the restroom when you're cramping a lot and waiting for the medicine to kick in, apply the patch in the bathroom, and go about your daily life without anyone knowing that you applied anything.
If you are having debilitating cramps you really should talk with your doctor about this. Dysmenorrhea, or cramping and pain during menstruation, is serious. This is the leading cause of lost time from school and work among women.
There could be an underlying issue within or outside the uterus (for example, pelvic inflammatory disease, leiomyoma, endometriosis, adhesions, adenomyosis, uterine displacement, or a retroverted uterus). Endometriosis is the most common cause of dysmenorrhea.
Endometriosis is a serious condition and can leave you infertile if left alone since it results in scar tissue. This means, the lining of the uterus is growing outside of the uterus, where it's suppose to be. This causes the body to be unable to expel it properly. The tissue still detaches and bleeds but is left in your body.
Endometriosis occurs in one in every 5 females. Usually diagnosed between ages 30 and 40; however, it is not unheard of at younger ages. Here is the Wikipedia page about it (which has the symptoms listed):
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endometriosis
As for other methods of relief, here are a few, listed out:
1. Start birth control pills.
Many gynecologist recommend birth control pills which regulate and sometimes decrease menstrual cramps.
2. Start an exercise routine.
During menstrual cramps, the last thing on your mind is exercise. However, many women find that after they establish an exercise regimen, cramps are lessened. After several months, your menstrual flow may be lighter and less painful.
Try light aerobic exercise, swimming, meditating, or a short jog.
3. Change to a healthier diet.
Try to stay away from eating only junk food or food that does not make you feel better. During or right before your period, make an effort to eat more balanced meals, iron-rich foods (eggs, meat, poultry, fish, beans, nuts), fresh fruit, vegetables, and vitamin supplements.
Taking a calcium supplement daily (all through the month) has helped many women lessen menstrual cramps.
4. Drink lots of liquids (hot and cold).
Most women don't drink the recommended 8-10 glasses of water (or juice) a day. Try and cut down on soda and coffee. If you feel bloated, lethargic, or if you have constipation or diarrhea, be sure to drink lots of water.
Abstain from alcohol. If you tend to retain water during your period, alcohol will only add to your problems.
Cut out caffeine. The caffeine in coffee, tea, cola, and chocolate can contribute to menstrual discomfort by making you nervous. Go caffeine-free. The oils in coffee also may irritate your intestines.
5. Get your feet rubbed.
The foot contains acupressure or trigger points that are believed to be connected along internal energy pathways to your pelvic area. Feel for these spots (which will be sensitive during your period) in the depressions above either side of your heel. Gently press in with your thumb and fingertips. Do the same along the sides of your Achilles tendon, moving up toward your calf muscle.
Try this acupressure technique for a few minutes on each foot. In my experience, this always works for me, especially when I'm having trouble falling asleep because of the cramping.
I hope you find some relief for your killer cramps and maybe even get checked out by a doctor. It's better to be safe than to find out years later you may be unable to have children because you let this problem go on too long. If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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how much does it cost to get a cat fixed and get them their shots? (link)
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It typically depends on the gender of the cat, first of all.
If the cat is female then the spay cost will probably be more expensive than a neuter cost. Female cats have to have their uterus and ovaries removed to be considered "fixed". This requires a lot more surgical procedure, time, and equipment. Females are typically left at the vet's office for at least one night after their surgery to ensure the health of the animal. There may be more costs tacked onto the bill if the cat has problems mid-way through surgery or if she has been bred with an is pregnant. Because of all of that combined, the cost may be more than a male's "fix" at the veterinary clinic.
Females may not be "fixed" or spayed until they are 6 months or older because of health risks and possible complications. Some vets refuse to work on a cat who is pregnant--even in the very early stages.
Males cats do not require a lot of surgical procedure to have their testicles removed. Because of this they may be released the same day of their operation and costs may be reduced compared to the female. Again, some clinics require the male cat to be 6 months of age or older.
For necessary shots, don't expect too much. A rabies shot will be fairly necessary but not too costly, along with another shot or two to ensure overall health and safety of the animal (especially if he/she is outside often).
Call your local vets and ask them for pricing on having a (male or female) cat fixed and have their first shots. Ask if there is an age requirement on the animal and how long the expected time within the clinic will be (an overnight stay? Longer? Shorter?). They will be able to give you a better guesstimate.
To have my female fixed and have her shots it cost about $100. When I was going to have a male cat fixed and have his shots it was going to cost about $70.
Also note that many vet clinics offer seasonal discounts that typically start in the beginning of the year around the end of January or the middle of February. Always ask when, or if, the vet runs specials on having an animal spayed or neutered and figure out if you can wait that long for the kitty to be fixed. Sometimes it works out really well if your cat is required to be at least 6 months of age! :)
So, in short, give your local vets a call and figure out the pricing from there! :) They don't mind a bit. Trust me ;)
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OKay, I worry easy so bear with a silly question.
Can a guy get an STD from Fingering a girl? Or from having a girl give him just a handjob? (link)
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Studies are now finding that HPV and both herpes strains can live deep under the fingernails of a person. If you engage in sexual contact with a partner who has not washed their hands thoroughly with warm soap and water and brushed out their nails with such cleansers then you are at a fairly high risk of contracting HPV or herpes onto your genitals (or wherever they touched--but, most vulnerably, your genitals).
If you finger a female and do not wash your hands and nail brush them as above then you run a very high risk of transmitting any diseases (herpes and HPV being higher risks) to your genitals when you touch them when you go to the restroom, clean your genitals, or masturbate.
In regards to oral sex, serious STD risks include:
1. Herpes is probably the biggest STD risk during oral sex. Both strains of herpes can live in the mouth or the genitals, and particularly during outbreaks (cold sores, herpes lesions) can be passed from one place to the other. More than 50% of a random group of people will have antibodies to the virus (indicating some level of infection). Genital herpes is complicated and uncomfortable. Herpes can be passed on even if no sores are present.
2. Chlamydia and gonorrhea can infect your throat, showing strep like symptoms. These can also infect the eye; eye infections can have serious consequences. Roughly, 80% of women who have chlamydia have no symptoms and it can prevent them from ever having children.
3. HIV can be passed through unprotected oral sex. The infected semen/precum or vaginal fluid must enter the body through a cut or sore in the mouth or esophagus. You may not even be aware you have a cut in your mouth or throat. Some people take up to 10 years to show that they have contracted HIV/AIDS.
4. HPV can be passed during oral sex. HPV has been found on vocal chords. There is no test to find out if a man has HPV and men usually show no symptoms.
5. Syphilis can be passed similar to HIV. Signs and symptoms are indistinguishable from those of other diseases so some people go a long time without knowing they have it. Mothers can pass this onto their babies without knowing it.
6. Hepatitis A is also a risk, but usually only oral-anal contact. Hep A is not a chronic condition like Hep B and C, but can make a person quite sick several weeks.
Make sure to always have your partner tested for all STDs and have them specifically request to be tested for herpes, as they typically do not run that through the STD screenings when they draw blood. You do not need to have a cut or a wound to contract an STD from a partner, especially in the case of herpes and HPV. Take care of yourself and put yourself at the utmost highest importance by having your partner(s) tested before engaging in sexual contact!
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What does it mean when you poop blood? Like seriously the whole toliet was filled with blood. (link)
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It sounds like you have some internal damage going on. It's probably best to see a doctor at this time before things get worse, and they usually do.
Rectal bleeding can be very serious, especially if you are also menstruating. The loss of blood may cause dizziness, fainting, weakness, low blood pressure, etc. People with signs and symptoms of a reduced volume of blood often require emergency hospitalization, and transfusion of blood. With there being much blood coming out of your rectum along with your normal amount of menstrual blood, I would probably be quite concerned for your health at this point.
Moderate to severe rectal bleeding, which I assume yours would be classified as since you say it's "a lot" of blood, is usually treated in the hospital. You may even need to stay a few days if it's severe while they check you and try to fix whatever has gone wrong.
Many diseases and conditions can cause rectal bleeding (varying in degree of severity, of course). Common causes include: anal fissures, hemorrhoids, cancers and polyps of the rectum and colon, diverticulosis, abnormal blood vessels (angiodysplasia), ulcerative colitis, ulcerative proctitis, Crohn's colitis, infectious colitis, ischemic colitis, and Meckel's diverticula.
Diagnosing rectal bleeding relies on the history and physical examination, anoscopy, flexible sigmoidoscopy, colonoscopy, radionuclide scans, angiograms, and blood tests.
Your age alone may offer an important clue to the cause of rectal bleeding. For example, moderate to severe rectal bleeding in teenagers and young adults is more likely to come from a Meckel's diverticulum. Moderate or severe rectal bleeding among older individuals is more likely to be due to diverticulosis or angiodysplasias. Mild rectal bleeding in an adult with prior abdominal radiation treatment may be due to radiation proctitis.
The absence of other symptoms also may provide important clues. Bleeding from diverticulosis, angiodysplasias, and Meckel's diverticula are usually not associated with abdominal or rectal pain. Rectal bleeding from ischemic colitis is often preceded by the sudden onset of lower abdominal, crampy pain. Fever, abdominal pain, and diarrhea often occur with colitis due to infection, ulcerative colitis, or Crohn's colitis. Mild bleeding accompanied by pain in the anal area during defecation (passing of stool) suggests bleeding from an anal fissure. A recent change in bowel habit such as increasing constipation or diarrhea suggests the possibility of cancer of the colon.
To actually treat rectal bleeding you must correct the low blood volume and anemia, diagnose the cause and the location of the bleeding, and stop active bleeding and prevent rebleeding. For this, a doctor is definately required.
Please make a hospital visit this evening if you can, preferably ASAP. This shouldn't wait any longer than it already has. You are not in a good state and things can become worse in no time. Please seek help now.
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which day/days of your cycle are you LEAST likely to get pregnant? which day/days of your cycle are you MOST likely to get pregnant, and how do you tell? be specific, dont just say "your period." and dont tell me not to have sex or use protection cause that's not what i asked. thanks! (link)
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You can get pregnant at any part of your cycle actually. Yes, there is chance you could have been impregnated if you had sex while on your period, even at the start or end of it.
There is a common misconception that if you have sex while you are on your period that the blood coming out of you will push all of the sperm out. The thing is, the sperm are made to do everything they possibly can to reach the goal--your egg. They are designed to be able to "swim against the current" so that they can make it upward into your uterus and tubes.
Now, if the egg has already been expelled it sounds as if there wouldn't be a problem; however, there is always another one on it's way and the sperm will fertilize it in while it's still in the fallopian tubes if they can make it. Sperm can live in your body for days (5 - 7 in normal conditions, longer if excellent conditions).
So, yes, there is a chance that pregnancy could occur. There is ALWAYS a chance pregnancy could occur. You should always be using some sort of "protection" to lessen (they don't prevent) pregnancy and STD/STI risks.
On another note, you ovulate roughly midway through your cycle. So, if you have a normal 28-day cycle you ovulate 14 days into it. For three or four days there you are at your most fertile state. However, if your cycles are abnormal then it's doubtful you'll be able to figure out when you're ovulating; although your internal temperature and discharge would tell you a lot (you expel more sticky discharge for these days).
To make it a little more clear, you are pretty much equally as fertile throughout your entire cycle, only when you ovulate you are a little more fertile than usual. There isn't a time when you are not fertile or less fertile than usual.
Anyway, back to discharges:
1. Before ovulation- There will be a small amount of (mostly) clear discharge.
2. Closer to ovulation- Discharge is wet and sticky. It is usually white/lightly cream colored. There is usually some mucus but it isn't as stretchy as it will be during ovulation.
3. At ovulation (roughly midway from your last period)- There will be a noticeably larger amount of discharge lasting a few days. It resembles stretchy egg whites. You are most fertile here (high risk pregnancy) and sperm entering your vagina will be able to survive slightly longer than other times.
4. After ovulation- Discharge is sticky but not as stretchy. Mostly clear, dwindling back to the "before ovulation" stage.
Many things can change the discharge you experience so it's best to not try to figure it out that way, to be honest. If your periods are irregular, you take hormonal birth control, have been taking an antibiotic, have been under a lot of stress lately, and many other things can all cause your discharge to change. In addition to that, sperm can live in the female body for a long time sometimes (live sperm have been found in a woman's body after TWO WEEKS of being expelled into her).
Anyway, a woman can get pregnant at any point in her cycle. It is always best to practice safe sex to reduce these chances if you are going to engage in such activities. It may also be a good idea to get yourself completely informed before participating in sex ;)
Here is a link about pregnancy costs to know about:
http://www.surebaby.com/costs.php
Here is a link that has some really freaky STD facts:
http://www.ashastd.org/learn/learn_statistics.cfm
Here is a link to photos of STDs you should research:
http://www.healthac.org/images.html
And here is just something simply for you to read and think about. I read it and thought it was pretty neat and gave some good points:
http://www.tagnet.org/adventist.fm/youth/virgin.htm
Better to be informed and knowledgeable of something in case something goes wrong--you won't be caught off-guard then! Take some time to get yourself informed before jumping into things.
If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! :)
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can you get stds or whatever from masterbating? i mean like are there any risks involed? thanks. (link)
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It actually is possible if you aren't very hygienic and have come in contact with harmful things earlier in the day(s). They are now finding out that herpes and HPV can live deep under the nails of your fingers. It is very, very important to wash your hands with soap and warm water thoroughly before engaging in sexual contact with yourself or anyone else. If available, use a nailbrush to get deeper under the nail for better cleanliness. It's better to be extra-safe right now than to be extra-sorry. :)
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I have heard that MSM promotes faster hair growth but I don't really know and I don't want to try it if someone else hasn't already had good results with it.
If you have any experience, could you share it with me please?
Thanks! (link)
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MSM (Methylsulfonylmethane) does help to improve hair growth and overall condition as well as improve nail and skin appearance. I used it in a powder form and took a small bit each day to help grow my nails longer as well as strengthen my hair. It helps to make cells healthier, along with more flexible cellular walls, and many athletes use it, claiming that there is not soreness in their muscles after working out.
The claims of MSM is that it enhances the absorption of nutrients and oxygen as well as purging the toxins within cells. As I said, it helps to make the cellular walls more flexible and when sulfur is in short supply the cell walls can harden, causing a multitude of health problems.
Definitely give it a shot! Make sure you use it as directed and take your daily multivitamin along with it to improve your overall health and appearance.
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we were having foreplay..n wen i blowjobin he suddenly couldn resist it n he splashed around..n while he was cleaning up his sperm he got it some to his hands n soon he wiped off wit his handkerchief..then after a while he finger penetrated my vagina..will tis cause pregnancy..im 20 n his 19.. (link)
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I'm so sad that the rumor that "sperm dies instantly outside of the body" or "sperm dies instantly when it hits air" is still being spread, especially on Advicenators. No, sperm does not "die instantly" or even "within seconds" after being ejaculated outside of the body. The sperm swim slower outside of the body, live shorter lifespans (A LOT more than seconds, believe me), and are mostly dead by the time the ejaculate actually dries (which takes more than seconds, right? Right.). If the sperm is on a body part then the body temperature can keep the little guys alive for quite some time. Sperm are amazing little creatures.
Just for reference, men who are trying to raise their sperm count are told to wear loose clothing on their bottom half to help the temperature drop to a cooler temperature. Hmm...doesn't sound like the sperm are DYING from the temperature drop, does it?
If oxygen (or anything in our air) killed the sperm then NOBODY would get pregnant. It's ridiculously unbelievable to think that we, females, have no sort of "air" or "oxygen" in our vaginas. Our vaginas are simply fleshy HOLES--and what happens to be in holes, typically? Air. And when you shove something in a hole, what is pushed first into that hole? Air. And, speaking of this, what are queefs? Air being released from the...VAGINA! Yes, AIR/OXYGEN does NOT kill sperm!
Yes, you have a fairly good chance of being pregnant! Yes, yes, yes!
Sperm need a moist environment to move in. They are little bitty creatures with tails--the tail flutters and propels them throughout the moist area. They are very small so there IS a chance they can even swim through fabric even as long as it was throughly moistened. These little guys were designed to ensure reproduction--that is the only reason they are alive; they will do what they can to find the goal. Putting a sperm-laced hand on or in your vagina is just asking to be pregnant!
It only takes ONE sperm to fertilize your one egg inside of you. When a guy ejaculates, billions of sperm are game to finding the egg. Sperm can live inside of you, in perfect conditions, for about 5 - 7 days; however, it is definately not unheard of to find live sperm inside of a woman two weeks later. I would safely say that from the second your vaginal area came in contact with sperm until about two weeks time your egg may become fertilized and pregnancy result.
So, in short, yes, you could have been impregnanted if there was fluid contact to your vaginal area.
If your next period misses then good chances are that you are pregnant. You can take a home pregnancy test then (after the missed period) or go to a clinic for a pregnancy test (more accurate; requires blood sample).
Purchase a few home pregnancy tests and test yourself occassionally if your period does not come next month. Some home pregnancy tests are better than others. According to a couple of studies done, First Response and Early Result Pregnancy Test are the two best kinds to purchase because they are slightly more sensitive than the others. You may want to pick up a couple of those for home usage.
If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)
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I just found out that if you have anal sex that if you have anal sex then your not a virgin! is that really true? and..i wanna no if a guy cums while his penis is in a gurl (during anal) can she still get pregnant..and if the girl gets cum on her front side and doesn't whip it off right away can she get pregnant? hurry I need to know!!!
PLEASE I NEED SOME ANSWERS!!! (link)
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If you engage in any sexual act you are not really a virgin. When you go to a doctor's appointment you have to tell them you've been sexually active. You can still contract A LOT of STDs and STIs through anal or oral sex, believe it or not. More frightening, you can even control things like herpes and HPV through mutual masturbation, as these viruses can live deep under the nail bed.
You CAN get pregnant from anal sex because it is easy for the sperm (cum) to slide down from the anus and enter the vagina. Many, many women get pregnant each year from this sort of thing. It is also risky because your partner may put his penis into your vagina after ejaculating, pushing his semen and your fecal matter into your vagina.
Fecal matter does get on and INTO the penis when engaging in anal sex. The penis is being forced into a hole that has fecal matter so it is obvious that some may wind up being shoved into the penis' little hole too.
Among the diseases with which anal sex is associated are HIV, anal cancer (seriously), typhoid fever, and various diseases associated with the infectious nature of fecal matter or sexual intercourse in general. Among these are: Amoebiasis; Chlamydia; Cryptosporidiosis; E. coli infections; Giardiasis; Gonorrhea; Hepatitis A; Hepatitis B; Hepatitis C; Herpes simplex; Human papillomavirus (HPV); Lymphogranuloma venereum; Pubic lice; Salmonellosis; Shigella; Syphilis; Tuberculosis. Using condoms will decrease these risks; however, they do not protect 100%.
Physical damage to the rectum and anus are serious and hemorrhoids, anal fissures, and rectal prolapse may occur. Damage is more likely if communication is poor or if technique is clumsy; condoms do not help protect against this sort of damage. Basically, if you don't know what you're doing or you end up doing something wrong by accident you may end up in the emergency room having surgery or stitches.
Small tears that can happen during anal sex can easily become infected. The membrane inside the rectum is VERY thin and fragile so it tears very easily. Even if there seems to be no complications the tears can be very irritating and can become inflamed later on. It doesn't matter how "gentle" your partner is, your will probably suffer some tearing and possibly even some bleeding. It can also become uncomfortable for you to pass a stool afterward.
It is also very easy to get a vaginal infection from anal intercourse if your partner enters the vagina after being in the anus because of the fecal matter that has been left on the penis. Even if he knows not to enter the vagina afterward, he may accidentally slip. The infection would be bacterial can actually do major damage to you--rendering you infertile. Really, anal sex is more likely to result in an infection than vaginal sex would.
As a note, the vaginal infection could be something simple like a yeast infection, but is usually a bacterial infection. If left untreated, these sorts of infections can cause serious problems later in life and can also render you completely infertile.
It's also common for urinary tract infections to occur after anal sex--in men and women. Yes, they are curable but they can become serious if left untreated and are, overall, rather uncomfortable to deal with. Condom usage would help your partner to avoid this complication but cannot protect against STDs or the above mentioned dangers associated with anal sex.
Incontinence has also been reported from engaging in anal sex. Basically this means that the anal sphincter loosens up from the activity. This also means that anal leakage can become an issue for the receiving end. It also may mean the inability to completely control your bowels when needed.
Many girls on here claim it hurts a lot. There really isn't a way to make it not hurt because it is endangering your body. Your body sends signals of pain because it is being HURT and you do not want to hurt your body. Serious problems come out of things like this--wanting to do something special with a partner and winding up on a hospital bed for a week while the doctor tries to sew them back together properly.
So, the penis pushes into the anus and will ALWAYS have some feces on it when removed. The thrusting motions will help to push the feces into the small tube of the penis, where it may set up a nasty infection. This usually requires a hardy set of antibiotics to kill off the infection. With all of the thrusting going on (especially for couples who do not have much experience with anal sex) there is a good likelihood of anal, vaginal, and urinary tract infections for women as well.
Doesn't sound so good, does it?
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what are some cute nicknames i could call my boyfriend? (link)
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Not very feminine things. I've seen some really, really strange "pet names" for boyfriends on here that would make men cringe at the thought of someone saying them in public. For the most part, men like the basics:
Honey/Hunny / Hon/Hun
Sweetie
Sweetheart
Baby (some men don't approve of this one)
Perfect (some men don't approve of this one)
Handsome
Darling
Beloved
Love
Sexy
Lover
Hot Stuff
Hunk
Stud
You may or may not be able to get away with the name:
Honey Bunny / Hunny Bunny
Cowboy
Angel
Prince
Chief
In general, guys do not like to resemble girls. Names like:
Pinky fluff
Cutie bootie
Wittle kittikins
Sweetikins bottoms
Cootchie Poo
Pookie Wookie
...and anything that is, for the most part, feminine sounding is NOT appreciated. Seriously, men aren't women and even if WE think it's cute--they think it's embarrassing when it's said in public and not in a playful, cute, naive-female way.
Personally, I would find something I could say often and enjoyed calling my partner and then ASK him if he approves of it to make things clear. That way if it's something he feels would be embarrassing then he can let you know and you can find something else to refer to him as.
Throw some ideas at him and see if anything sticks. If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)
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What is the most painless way to commit suicide?....The only thought that provides any degree of solace to me is death. I do not want to live anymore, there is no other way to end the pain. I tried paracetamol in my 20`s (am in 30`s now) and they just pumped my stomach. I fell in love with a married woman (yes I know there was no future) but I just don`t wanna live as the memories are killing me. The memories and love wont go away, despite the fact that she cheated on me. So anyway I have high BP and am being monitored for my heart rate regularly by my Dcotor. I have not taken my prescrption for some time and thank goodness my BP level has risen again but this is not working. I have taken to smoking a shisha pipe as well, so my health is pretty bad right now but it`s taking too long. The thought of death is the only comfort available to me, dpoes anyone understand this? Please just recommend an easy an painless way to die as I am a complete an utter coward, have no career prospects and have no ambition. I am not mentally ill but just want to die. I pray to God every night to take me but thts not working either, so anyone got any advice on the most painless way to commit to kill myself? (link)
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There are many different suicide hotlines that you can call toll-free. Here are a few, varying by state:
http://www.suicidehotlines.com/
And you can always call the national hotline if you're unable to call locally.
National Suicide Hotlines (USA)
Toll-Free / 24 hours a day / 7 days a week
1-800-SUICIDE
(1-800-784-2433)
1-800-273-TALK
(1-800-273-8255)
1-800-799-4TTY (4889)---Deaf Hotline
And here are a few more about suicide:
Suicide & Crisis Hotline
1-800-999-9999
Suicide Hotline - (National Adolescent)
800-621-4000
[[For our teen readers: There are also many teen help lines nowadays that you can call and talk about many different problems on:
Teen Helpline
1-800-400-0900
TeenLine
1-800-522-8336
And here is a neat link to something called Boys Town:
http://www.boystown.org/hotline/index.asp
In which they have a hotline number (1-800-448-3000). They claim to they can help:
"...with suicide prevention, depression, school issues, parenting troubles, runaways, relationship problems, physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, chemical dependency, anger and much more."]]
The best way to commit suicide is not available. There isn't a painless way to commit suicide. There really isn't a quick way to commit suicide. It doesn't exist because we're not suppose to be doing that sort of thing to ourselves. Many people have suggested that overdosing on things like sleeping pills are effective on a quick, painless death but it isn't so:
"Many people who have overdosed on various pills live later to tell how painful it was. Overdosing is not as simple as falling asleep and never waking up. Many people break out into cold sweats, have seizures, severe stomach pains, and so-on. Overdosing is painful and is not a "quick, painless way out" of life.
Overdosing on any type of pill is definately not painless and quick:
http://www.intueri.org/2007/05/02/suicide-by-overdose-is-not-painless/
Overdosing usually leads to messy, painful and long-drawn-out consequences, including slow poisoning. There is not really a pain-less way to find death. If you attempt suicide, be aware that you will probably be in pain for the last bit of your consciousness, no matter what method you choose.
Imagine suddenly having problems breathing and feeling very dizzy and weak. You have to sit down in the floor and before you know it, things are spinning around you and you break out in a sweat. You have to lay down on the floor because you're so weak. Your stomach is hurting--it feels like something is going to rip out of your flesh and eat you alive. Your body starts to shake on it's own, but your muscles hurt so bad you just can't stand it. It's hard to breath now, you're gasping for air, but you can't see anything around you. You lay on the floor, in a puddle of your sweat, while you pray the pain stops. You begin to lose control of normal body functions, maybe you just urinated yourself. You slip in and out of consciousness, in and out of feeling jolts of extreme pain throughout your body that you can no longer control. You finally lose consciousness completely.
You wake up 6 months later. Someone, through a miracle of God, had found you in your very unpleasant state. You scared them deeply and they rushed you to the emergency room, where you spent hours of some group of workers time while they prayed they could save your life. A little 3-year-old boy died because they had to work on you before they could get to him but you won't ever know that. You're awake in a hospital bed you've been taking up for the past 6 months. You've lost your job in this time. Your friends and family have became ill from worry, and a couple have begun thinking of suicide themselves for "pushing you" to it. You now have a slew of medications you have to take daily or you become ill. You've lost control of coordination and will have to have physical therapy in HOPES you regain the ability to walk. You have problems talking and your words are slewed--you'll have to go through speech therapy too.
You cannot hold a decent job if you wanted to now. You cannot even walk from to the restroom without falling twice. You cannot communicate clearly enough for most people to understand you. If you aren't up with your medication, you wet yourself, so you have to constantly be wearing Depends. Because of your medications and your physical disabilities now you have lost your license and are unable to regain the privilege of driving. Your friends and family treat you like an infant--afraid of every move you make. You no longer can live on your own because you need physical assistance. You cannot even hold a pot up long enough to get it to the stove so you don't have one at all. Your neighbors have their eye on you now--just in case--and they talk about how strange you are and that they heard this and that from why you are disabled now.
Which is better? Your life now or the possible outcomes of your life after trying to commit suicide?
I'm sure you'd rather be alive and decently well than to wake up in 6 months, alone, confused, and impaired in some way.
Bad times always get better. You don't want to be left in a painful state, even if you got your stomach pumped if a family member found you is not a pleasant experience and you WILL remember it for a long time."
Now, for my advice...
Make your life meaningful.
Many people seem to be having this sort of problem now and I truly think that it's because we have lost the right path in life.
I don't mean this to be bad but I'm not sure how to put it: you need to start focusing on other people other than yourself all of the time. If you make your time useful and helpful to others, you will gain a sense of care about yourself. You will soon realize that you HELP others and that other people need and appreciate you.
Many people now are so busy with their own lives that they lose sight of what it is to be loving and caring. You see, knowing that you are helping others does great things for the self-imagine. You soon realize that you aren't useless and just a blob of flesh bobbing along through life.
It really seems that the problem is our current lifestyles. We no longer "have time" to help others. Nobody volunteers now because they feel that they should be paid money for their time. Nobody goes out of their way to show care for others because that time could be used for something else. Both of these are common and we're taught (it's drilled into our heads) that we are the most important in our lives. This is not true at all: the people surrounding us are the most important.
The people who surround you create your sense of belonging though. Those people help you to see yourself as useful. Those people are the ones that can show care back for you. Without those people, you aren't anything anymore.
The media keeps telling us to only worry about ourselves. Sure, it's find to tend to your own needs--but what happens when everyone is too busy with themselves? What happens when everyone stops worrying about caring for others? They become depressed, wondering why they don't belong somewhere and why they feel lost in society. That is what is happening to you, most likely, whether you realize it now or not.
What's strange is the more we focus on ourselves and stop helping others, the less we feel good about ourselves. As humans, we NEED interaction. We NEED acceptance. We NEED to know we are important in life. Most of all though, we desperately NEED to help others to gain all of that plus more.
I highly suggest that you stop focusing on yourself. Yes, still continue to get help but try to put your excess time/energy/efforts into others. Find places to volunteer regularly at.
Am I right in this? I bet I am...:
*You feel worthless, unimportant, and useless.
*You feel like you simply cannot do anything right.
*You do not feel needed, and maybe not even loved.
*You feel like people wouldn't miss if you if you disappeared, or that they would get over your departure quickly.
*You feel empty inside--like something huge is missing but you cannot pinpoint it.
*You feel like your best will never be good enough because YOU are not good enough.
*You feel like nobody is genuinely interested in you and what you have to offer (though you may feel that you don't have much to offer)
All of this is exactly what I'm talking about. You need to make more of your life. By giving to others, you are creating your sense of worth. You will soon realize that YOU DO make a difference and that people appreciate and care about you. You will realize that when you have to skip a volunteer day for a doctor's appointment that many of the people you have been helping will ask what happened to you--Ah-hah, there's your sense of belonging! You will begin to realize that being involved with the care of others can be very fulfilling spiritually.
Spend time at soup kitchens helping the hungry, volunteer at shelters, visit the elderly in homes so they're not as lonely (not everyone has visitors and just about everyone has neat stories to tell), read Bible passages to younger children, volunteer at local animal shelters, donate your time to what needs you, and do whatever you can with that time. You may even consider doing random acts of kindness:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=546646
If you feel like you don't have time now--make time. Alter your daily schedules to fit a few hours in for volunteering. Instead of being on the computer for an hour, log in only for 15 minutes and do what you NEED to do. Instead of sitting at home for dinner every day, take one day a week to eat at the soup kitchen after volunteering there.
Focus on who needs you. In essence, this is all for YOU so this is important. Helping others will help you.
I suggest you grab a phone book and make a few calls. Sit down with a calendar and set up one or more days a week to volunteer your time at certain places. Don't stress yourself out trying to fit things into busy schedules, but move things around so that your schedule won't be hectic but will have the fulfilling volunteer time in it.
It isn't your fault that you feel this way. You have just been fooled all of these years into believing that you are number one. Relax and focus on taking time for others and you will eventually find what is missing, trust me.
I hope that you find your way through this struggle quickly. I know it can be a hard road to travel and if you aren't willing to open up to your friends and family it's going to be a lot harder. Remember that they are there to help you, not hurt you. They may be helpful at giving you advice or finding you some reliable help so you don't have to journey alone.
I hope you take my advice and improve your life before things get worse. If you have any further questions regarding this subject please feel free to ask me!
P.S. Anywhere you volunteer your time at, you will happily fit in :) I promise, you'll see.
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I have come to the point where I cant write, concentrate, derive pleasure from anything, have difficulty remembering things, have blurred vision, eyes seriously hurt, sometimes have severe headaches, most of the time dont know what I am talking especially with my elder brother. I have nt got father and mother I live my elder brother and his wife since 6 years. I am 26/M an MBA had a successful career but now since six months things have been deteriorating. I cant bear it any more. Plz tell me the easiest way to commit suicide which hurts less and is quick and doesnt make much of a mess. (link)
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A lot of people don't understand that suicide affects other people, even people you don't realize are there for you. A young man on YouTube uploaded a video one evening discussing the issues that suicide has caused for him. A sort-of friend of his from school took his own life. If this doesn't touch your heart and make you change your mind then keep reading below; the video is worth the 5:55 of your time though:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-g__szrLjs
There are many different suicide hotlines that you can call toll-free. Here are a few, varying by state:
http://www.suicidehotlines.com/
And you can always call the national hotline if you're unable to call locally.
National Suicide Hotlines (USA)
Toll-Free / 24 hours a day / 7 days a week
1-800-SUICIDE
(1-800-784-2433)
1-800-273-TALK
(1-800-273-8255)
1-800-799-4TTY (4889)---Deaf Hotline
And here are a few more about suicide:
Suicide & Crisis Hotline
1-800-999-9999
Suicide Hotline - (National Adolescent)
800-621-4000
[[For our teen readers: There are also many teen help lines nowadays that you can call and talk about many different problems on:
Teen Helpline
1-800-400-0900
TeenLine
1-800-522-8336
And here is a neat link to something called Boys Town:
http://www.boystown.org/hotline/index.asp
In which they have a hotline number (1-800-448-3000). They claim to they can help:
"...with suicide prevention, depression, school issues, parenting troubles, runaways, relationship problems, physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, chemical dependency, anger and much more."]]
The best way to commit suicide is not available. There isn't a painless way to commit suicide. There really isn't a quick way to commit suicide. It doesn't exist because we're not suppose to be doing that sort of thing to ourselves. Many people have suggested that overdosing on things like sleeping pills are effective on a quick, painless death but it isn't so:
"Many people who have overdosed on various pills live later to tell how painful it was. Overdosing is not as simple as falling asleep and never waking up. Many people break out into cold sweats, have seizures, severe stomach pains, and so-on. Overdosing is painful and is not a "quick, painless way out" of life.
Overdosing on any type of pill is definately not painless and quick:
http://www.intueri.org/2007/05/02/suicide-by-overdose-is-not-painless/
Overdosing usually leads to messy, painful and long-drawn-out consequences, including slow poisoning. There is not really a pain-less way to find death. If you attempt suicide, be aware that you will probably be in pain for the last bit of your consciousness, no matter what method you choose.
Imagine suddenly having problems breathing and feeling very dizzy and weak. You have to sit down in the floor and before you know it, things are spinning around you and you break out in a sweat. You have to lay down on the floor because you're so weak. Your stomach is hurting--it feels like something is going to rip out of your flesh and eat you alive. Your body starts to shake on it's own, but your muscles hurt so bad you just can't stand it. It's hard to breath now, you're gasping for air, but you can't see anything around you. You lay on the floor, in a puddle of your sweat, while you pray the pain stops. You begin to lose control of normal body functions, maybe you just urinated yourself. You slip in and out of consciousness, in and out of feeling jolts of extreme pain throughout your body that you can no longer control. You finally lose consciousness completely.
You wake up 6 months later. Someone, through a miracle of God, had found you in your very unpleasant state. You scared them deeply and they rushed you to the emergency room, where you spent hours of some group of workers time while they prayed they could save your life. A little 3-year-old boy died because they had to work on you before they could get to him but you won't ever know that. You're awake in a hospital bed you've been taking up for the past 6 months. You've lost your job in this time. Your friends and family have became ill from worry, and a couple have begun thinking of suicide themselves for "pushing you" to it. You now have a slew of medications you have to take daily or you become ill. You've lost control of coordination and will have to have physical therapy in HOPES you regain the ability to walk. You have problems talking and your words are slewed--you'll have to go through speech therapy too.
You cannot hold a decent job if you wanted to now. You cannot even walk from to the restroom without falling twice. You cannot communicate clearly enough for most people to understand you. If you aren't up with your medication, you wet yourself, so you have to constantly be wearing Depends. Because of your medications and your physical disabilities now you have lost your license and are unable to regain the privilege of driving. Your friends and family treat you like an infant--afraid of every move you make. You no longer can live on your own because you need physical assistance. You cannot even hold a pot up long enough to get it to the stove so you don't have one at all. Your neighbors have their eye on you now--just in case--and they talk about how strange you are and that they heard this and that from why you are disabled now.
Which is better? Your life now or the possible outcomes of your life after trying to commit suicide?
I'm sure you'd rather be alive and decently well than to wake up in 6 months, alone, confused, and impaired in some way.
Bad times always get better. You don't want to be left in a painful state, even if you got your stomach pumped if a family member found you is not a pleasant experience and you WILL remember it for a long time."
Now, for my advice...
Make your life meaningful.
Many people seem to be having this sort of problem now and I truly think that it's because we have lost the right path in life.
I don't mean this to be bad but I'm not sure how to put it: you need to start focusing on other people other than yourself all of the time. If you make your time useful and helpful to others, you will gain a sense of care about yourself. You will soon realize that you HELP others and that other people need and appreciate you.
Many people now are so busy with their own lives that they lose sight of what it is to be loving and caring. You see, knowing that you are helping others does great things for the self-imagine. You soon realize that you aren't useless and just a blob of flesh bobbing along through life.
It really seems that the problem is our current lifestyles. We no longer "have time" to help others. Nobody volunteers now because they feel that they should be paid money for their time. Nobody goes out of their way to show care for others because that time could be used for something else. Both of these are common and we're taught (it's drilled into our heads) that we are the most important in our lives. This is not true at all: the people surrounding us are the most important.
The people who surround you create your sense of belonging though. Those people help you to see yourself as useful. Those people are the ones that can show care back for you. Without those people, you aren't anything anymore.
The media keeps telling us to only worry about ourselves. Sure, it's find to tend to your own needs--but what happens when everyone is too busy with themselves? What happens when everyone stops worrying about caring for others? They become depressed, wondering why they don't belong somewhere and why they feel lost in society. That is what is happening to you, most likely, whether you realize it now or not.
What's strange is the more we focus on ourselves and stop helping others, the less we feel good about ourselves. As humans, we NEED interaction. We NEED acceptance. We NEED to know we are important in life. Most of all though, we desperately NEED to help others to gain all of that plus more.
I highly suggest that you stop focusing on yourself. Yes, still continue to get help but try to put your excess time/energy/efforts into others. Find places to volunteer regularly at.
Am I right in this? I bet I am...:
*You feel worthless, unimportant, and useless.
*You feel like you simply cannot do anything right.
*You do not feel needed, and maybe not even loved.
*You feel like people wouldn't miss if you if you disappeared, or that they would get over your departure quickly.
*You feel empty inside--like something huge is missing but you cannot pinpoint it.
*You feel like your best will never be good enough because YOU are not good enough.
*You feel like nobody is genuinely interested in you and what you have to offer (though you may feel that you don't have much to offer)
All of this is exactly what I'm talking about. You need to make more of your life. By giving to others, you are creating your sense of worth. You will soon realize that YOU DO make a difference and that people appreciate and care about you. You will realize that when you have to skip a volunteer day for a doctor's appointment that many of the people you have been helping will ask what happened to you--Ah-hah, there's your sense of belonging! You will begin to realize that being involved with the care of others can be very fulfilling spiritually.
Spend time at soup kitchens helping the hungry, volunteer at shelters, visit the elderly in homes so they're not as lonely (not everyone has visitors and just about everyone has neat stories to tell), read Bible passages to younger children, volunteer at local animal shelters, donate your time to what needs you, and do whatever you can with that time. You may even consider doing random acts of kindness:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=546646
If you feel like you don't have time now--make time. Alter your daily schedules to fit a few hours in for volunteering. Instead of being on the computer for an hour, log in only for 15 minutes and do what you NEED to do. Instead of sitting at home for dinner every day, take one day a week to eat at the soup kitchen after volunteering there.
Focus on who needs you. In essence, this is all for YOU so this is important. Helping others will help you.
I suggest you grab a phone book and make a few calls. Sit down with a calendar and set up one or more days a week to volunteer your time at certain places. Don't stress yourself out trying to fit things into busy schedules, but move things around so that your schedule won't be hectic but will have the fulfilling volunteer time in it.
It isn't your fault that you feel this way. You have just been fooled all of these years into believing that you are number one. Relax and focus on taking time for others and you will eventually find what is missing, trust me.
I hope that you find your way through this struggle quickly. I know it can be a hard road to travel and if you aren't willing to open up to your friends and family it's going to be a lot harder. Remember that they are there to help you, not hurt you. They may be helpful at giving you advice or finding you some reliable help so you don't have to journey alone.
I hope you take my advice and improve your life before things get worse. If you have any further questions regarding this subject please feel free to ask me!
P.S. Anywhere you volunteer your time at, you will happily fit in :) I promise, you'll see.
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I have really bad circles and a little puffiness, everyday. I do get enough sleep and drink lots of water, which I'm told is essential to getting rid of dark circles. I've tried many concealers and concealers meant to just correct dark circles, but nothing is working! I know yellow contradicts blue, but my dark circles always come through and are noticeable. Is there anything that anyone has used that has really worked? Any home remedies or store products that have been useful would be appreciated. (link)
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Actually, dark circles under the eye is usually a good sign of malnutrition or lack of iron, especially if you're getting enough rest at night. If you're not taking a daily multi-vitamin then you should definately start there, as it sounds like your body may be lacking something severely. You should take the multi-vitamin every single day, whether your dark circles are there or not :) just for overall health benefits.
Now, as women, we tend to lose more blood during a month's span. The blood loss isn't extreme but it is enough to leave our bodies iron deficient if we're prone to that (heavy periods, long periods, periods with only a week or two in between). So, if you're already taking a daily multivitamin then you may need to take an extra iron supplement throughout the month as well.
As for iron supplements, some can cause constipation or upset stomach so it's best to read the packaging to see if those problems have been solved. I use Feosol, an iron supplement that I found at my local Wal-Mart, and it has specifically been formulated to be gentle in the body. I take one pill a day, plus my regular multi-vitamin, and my dark circles tend to be less than they were before I started the supplement. Always take the iron with one full glass (8oz) of water to help it absorb into your system properly.
You can tell if I'm on my period and not taking my iron because my circles are very evident. I also feel pretty weak and tired if my iron is fairly low during the day.
Now, dark circles can be a bit hereditary too, so if your mother has them then it could be just a genetic malformation; however, chances are you're just low on vitamins and possibly iron :) Chances that they are hereditary is actually fairly low though because we typically eat what our parents eat too, for the most part.
Give your body a good month or more after being on the vitamins every single day before taking an iron supplement too. All this could be is lack of vital nutrients that you're not getting in your daily consumption (common problem in the United States). If you've been on any sort of birth control there are very high chances that you are low in a B vitamin (specifically vitamin B-12). So, take the daily multivitamins every single day for a month before deciding if you feel you need an iron supplement as well--even then you might want to consult your doctor to ensure an extra iron supplement is beneficial to your body.
For a last note, I guarantee your skin will even look healthier after being on the vitamins for awhile. It's amazing at how many things can look so much better by making sure your body has what it needs to function properly. My hair looks soooo much healthier now (less breakage, fuller hair, better natural color to it) just from me taking my vitamins each day. Give it a shot, it can't hurt! :)
Take care of yourself. If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)
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Hi! i'm 16 and i'm still a virgin and i think im ready for sex but i want to know if there is anything important i need to know about before my boyfriend and i do it, just to prepare myself
he's told me that its going to hurt more than when he fingers me, but thats it. (link)
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Important things you should know before you have sex:
1. Virgins can have STDs. People can be very well be born with STDs or contract an STD (you can contract herpes and HPV just by getting it under your nails and then masturbating--you don't even have to be sexually active) and never know it during their entire life. 80% of the U.S. has herpes but do you hear many people admitting to that? No. For note, you can never be 100% sure that someone is "clean" even after being STD/STI tested because HPV (and, NO, Gardasil only helps to prevent 4 out of over 100 strains so you are NOT safe) cannot be detected in men--ever--and it may take a long time before it is detected in a woman.
2. Condoms, typically, are only 88% effective on preventing pregnancy. Hormonal birth control (the pill) is actually only 92% effective on preventing pregnancy with typical usage. The "pull-out" method is only about 75% highest effective on preventing pregnancy. The number actually fluctuates between 29% and 75%. NONE protect against STDs/STIs at all. You will ALWAYS be at risk for pregnancy no matter what sort of "protection" you choose to use.
3. Many women never orgasm or actually enjoy sexual activity. Only 25-30% of women orgasm regularly from vaginal penetration (penis in vagina sex) alone. This being said, there are fairly good chances you won't ever have sex that feels "amazing" or anything that you imagine it should be. Your friends? They, most likely, lie about how "awesome" and "mind-blowing" their sex is. (Oh, and, yeah, your first time isn't going to be bliss and it'll probably be fairly painful if you're not loosened up and lubed up enough to allow a fully erect penis inside of you)
4. You can get pregnant before your period. You can get pregnant at the beginning of your period. You can get pregnant during your period. You can get pregnant the day after your period. You can get pregnant after your period. You can even get pregnancy if the guy DOESN'T cum in you too! There is NO "safe" time, contrary to popular belief. All sex is risky.
5. By having sex the first time you will be pressured to continue. You will even pressure yourself because you will have guilt that if you turn your partner down then he will think lower of you or be upset since you "gave in" before. This happens to a lot of men and women. This also goes along with number...
6. If you have sex with a partner that does not share the attachment you may have to them (current attachment, past attachment, or future attachment) then you may end up circling the friends-with-benefits bullshit for the rest of your life. That's how 50 year old "Crazy Cat Ladies" come about. They don't learn how to effectively communicate with partners. They think sex means love and that love means having sex. They never LEARN, GROW, or DEVELOP. They will continue being used and abused. Left for other women. Being led on time after time in hopes that someone will love them like they wish they were loved. THAT is how that happens. This also sort-of goes along with number...
7. Sex can leave a person with very deep emotional scars that are difficult to overcome. Some people are later dumped by their "first" and it leads to depression, self-hatred, and loneliness. This can also lead to #6 above. There also can be something bad happen during the activity that makes the person feel insecure over themselves for a long, long while (possibly forever). You have to realize, sex is a VERY vulnerable time for humans and it can damage a lot of a person's inner self without them even realizing it.
8. Having sex can totally break a relationship if you make too much of it, which is usually done in most cases. Someone may be into some sort of kink that the other isn't comfortable with. Someone may want more that someone cannot give. Someone may become obsessed and seek it more and more when the other person is bored with the same old thing. Someone could be so dissatisfied that they leave the relationship to look for "better" sex.
9. Lastly, prepare yourself for the worst in case you're faced with it. Here are some links. Even if it seems stupid to read and look through these now, you may end up in a situation where you'll be thankful you did...
Read through my answer here:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=548961
Virginity...is it worthwhile?:
http://www.tagnet.org/adventist.fm/youth/virgin.htm
Is ANY sex safe sex?:
http://www.prolife.com/LICKONA.htm
Here is a link about pregnancy costs to know about:
http://www.surebaby.com/costs.php
Here is a link that has some really freaky STD facts:
http://www.ashastd.org/learn/learn_statistics.cfm
Here is a link to photos of STDs you should research so you're aware of what they look like on the body:
http://www.healthac.org/images.html
My answer, here:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=543907
If you need anything above elaborated on, please jot me an inbox question. I have more to say about each and every one of these but I figured you wanted a quick overview. I only speak the truth to you because I once was in your position. I also headed down the wrong path in this manner.
I hope you make the right decision for you.
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if u have sex n use a condom can u still get a std if fluids touch base of shaft of the penis. In order to get infected it has to be the tip of the penis right? (link)
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You are still at risk for catching STDs and STIs even when you use a condom. That is why it is SO important to have your partner and yourself completely tested before engaging in sexual contact with each other. Fluids don't even have to touch for things like HPV and herpes! There have been multiple people here that posted about getting herpes and even HIV/AIDS even though they used a condom each and every time they came in sexual contact with their partner.
Condoms can only cover so much and, even at that, there are researchers finding that the AIDS virus may be small enough to pass through the pores of the condom!
Be safe and always use a back-up method of protection when you engage in ANY sexual act so that your chances of pregnancy are decreased. ALWAYS have your partner and yourself completely STD screened before engaging in this sort of activity.
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I work at Wal-mart and I'm really sick today. I want to call in and rest so I can feel better. I don't like to miss work so I have never called in before. Wal*Mart isn't a hard place to work at either so I haven't ever been too sick to go in for work.
I know that at Walmart I have to call a special associate hotline number so that they have it on record I didn't just miss work and not inform anyone at my Walmart. I think it is called the Walmart Associate Hotline to report an absence or tardy. I think it is also a 1-800 number. My Wal*Mart told me in the beginning what the number was but I don't remember it (and I've been working at Walmart for awhile now).
I went to the mywalmart.com and the walmartbenefits.com but I couldn't find the Walmart Hotline number to report my absence for today. It is possible that I looked over the hotline phone number since I'm so sick. I even went to walmart.com though and still couldn't find any thing under the associates link about the associate hotline phone number.
Can anyone tell me the Walmart call in number so I can report my absence? Please? Thanks. (link)
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The toll-free Walmart Associate Hotline number is 1-800-775-5944
You will be required to supply your Walmart facility number, your date of birth, and your last four digits of your social security number. Afterwards make sure you hang on the line to speak to a member of management at your specific store (it will redirect you there after you're all finished) and make doubly sure you write down the confirmation code number in case anybody at your store needs it at a later date.
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My boyfriend has herpes on his lip. He has a lot of coldsores during the winter when his immune system is lowered by colds and flus. I feel really bad for him so I read a lot about herpes.
Well, yesterday I read that if I kiss him while he has a herpes sore then I could catch herpes. He has a sore right now and I kissed him yesterday A LOT! How long does it take for oral herpes to show up? When will I have my first outbreak if I do have herpes?
And how long will oral herpes take to show up on a STD test? I will be going for a test next month just to make sure everything is alright with me and I'm curious if I contracted herpes if it will show up on the test by that time...
Thank you! :D (link)
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The first outbreak usually occurs in or around the [infected or exposed] area between 3 days and 2 weeks after exposure to the virus. In rare instances a person never has an initial outbreak and will only show positive for the virus through blood STD screenings (IMPORTANT NOTE: You MUST request to be checked for herpes, specifically, if you are going for an STD test since they typically do not test for it!).
One of most contagious times is about 2 weeks before the actual outbreak until, roughly, 2 weeks after the outbreak has completely cleared up. The extremely contagious time is when the sore is visible, open or weeping.
If you have contracted herpes your STD test will probably show positive for HSV-1 (typically the oral herpes strain) by the time you have your first outbreak. If you do not have your initial outbreak (yes, some people never have one but still contract it) then you will still show positive within the month, most likely. If you have an outbreak it is advised to get it swabbed and tested to ensure it is HSV-1 oral herpes and not something else or HSV-2 genital herpes on your mouth.
Be safe and try to refrain from coming in contact with the infected area so that you don't risk any more exposure to the virus.
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