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April 8, 2013

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about

My name is Laura and I'm 28 years old. I live in Illinois and work as a licensed veterinary technician. I am a runner, bookworm and obviously, an animal lover.

I've been on this site since '05. I take hiatuses, but I'm never gone for good. I enjoy giving advice and I've made such lovely friends on this site that I couldn't imagine giving it up!

chat it up yo.

ps. here's my bestestestest friend.
I love him. You will too :)

advice

So i am joining a gym. This was what I was planning to do when I go there;

STRETCHHH.

1. Jog there (like a mile) (with my waterrr bottle!)
2. Do some core on the machines
3. Do a "cool down" i guess on the ..biking machines?
4. go into the steam room

Does this sound good? Should I stretch afterward too? Any suggestions would be helpful

ps. im trying to tone upp not lose weight =]

I think it sounds pretty good.

The only thing you might want to consider, is a warm up. I know the jogging itself might be a warm up, but try walking at first and then jogging. For some other tips:

* MAKE SURE to stretch REALLY well before your workout.

Stretching after a workout is usually a good idea, too. Also, if you feel stiff or sore at any point DURING your actual work out, make sure to stop and stretch the area that's hurting.

Like said below, diet will also be a huge factor. You need to make sure you're eating healthy and getting all the nutrients you need. For more help:

-Laura (16-f)

f/19

okay so i discharge a lot and its starting to really get annoying. is there anyway that i can make it stop or at least happen less often? i don't want to be fingered or something and to be already wet whenever a guy puts his hands there. any advice?

You can try wearing a light pantyliner on the days when it really bothers you.

I know it won't really help if you get fingered or whatever, but I think that's about all you can do to help control it.

-Laura (16-f)

what do you do when you have a very very rude violent sibling who gets extra violent coz there on drugs and your mum's a single mother and disabled...I could physically stop him, but abuse gets you know where. && I wouldnt stoop to his level. he is younger, and I would get into trouble...it tears my family apart. and he's only 12

15/f

You need to get help. There is no way you can handle this by yourself, and there is no reason you should have to.

I'd suggest going to an adult that you trust, such as a grandparent, aunt/uncle, school counselor or the parent of a close friend. They will be able to help you much more than you'll be able to help yourself. You also mentioned drugs in your question. If they are prescription, I'd highly recommend talking to your brother's doctor about it. If they're not prescrpition, then that is a very, very bad situation that you need to find help for immediately.

But for now, just stay calm with your brother. Do NOT get violent with him. Be the bigger person, and stay away from stopping to his level.

Whenever he gets angry/violent, just stay calm. Talk to him in a low and soothing voice, and tell him that everything is going to be ok. Tell him that it is ok for him to be upset, but he needs to calm down and find another way to vent. Find something that makes him happy (a stuffed animal, a song, a hobby, anything) and give it to him when he gets angry.

-Laura (16-f)

im 16/f
and hes 18/m

ill try to make this as short as possible.
we've been dating for a little over a month.we kinda rushed as you would say, we've been through the sex and i love you stage. and im geting kinda lost. hes on probation, and he has a bad rep of being a man whore sort of. well he gave me his password to change his about me, because i wanted to write it, so i was looking and i found sent messages that he sent girls on those truthboxes, saying, well nasty things, just weeks before we dated, and he was telling girls i love you and all this other things. we've already been through the "your not cheating on me are you" and then people all say hes not good news and i get frustrated and tell him what people are saying. i dont want him to think that i dont trust him, which i actully dont really completely or that i was snooping, which i was. i know i should talk to him but i really care about him, even if we did rush into things. any advice?
thank you sooo much.

Thanks for inboxing :)

Well, this is a really tough situation...

You might not like what I'm going to say here, but he sounds like "bad news" to me. If he's rushing into things with you instead of going slow, that's a bad sign right there.

The fact that he's sent nasty things to a lot of other girls right before you two got together, that's another, even worse, bad sign. It is especially bad because other people have called him a "man whore". Now, normally I wouldn't say to believe what others are saying, but it sounds like there is a real good possibility of truth behind the name =/

The reason I'm being real blunt with you about it, is because I've seen these notorious "man whores", and I've seen what they can do to girls. They're NOT "good news", and they definitely aren't worth it in the end.

You're right when you said that you should talk to him. You need to sit him down, and just talk to him about all of it- the messages to other girls, the way you rushed into things with him, the fact that you don't really trust him and that's WHY you were snopping in the first place, etc.

So my advice? Talk to him about it. Find out the facts, and make sure you tell him that you want him to tell you the TRUTH, no matter how bad it might be.

And then, think about the relationship itself. Is he worth it? Or would you rather find a guy who IS "good news"? Personally, I think you probably deserve A LOT better. But talk to your boyfriend and see what he says, then make your choice.

Good luck & I hope this helps!

-Laura (16-f)

ok i listen to acoustic and alternative stuff

for example , all time low and augustana and dashboard confessional

can someone help me out and give me good songs with one of these topics:

someone telling you your beautiful
being under the stars ?!
liking someone who lets just say isnt your boyfriend
loving someone whose far away

thanks

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=545691

Alive with the Glory of Love: Say Anything.
*Amazing: Josh Kelley.
*At Least We Made It This Far: Relient k.
Baby, It's Fact: Hellogoodbye.
Best of Me: The Starting Line.
The Best Thing: Relient k.
California: Metro Station.
*Can't Stop: Maroon 5.
Check Yes Juliet: We The Kings.
*Die Alone: Ingrid Michaelson.
Getting Into You: Relient k.
Gravity: Sara Bareilles.
Hands Down: Dashboard Confessional.
Hanging by a Moment: Lifehouse.
Her Eyes: Pat Monahan.
Here in Your Arms: Hellogoodbye.
Hey Jealousy: Hit the Lights.
*I'm Yours: Jason Mraz.
I Caught Fire: The Used.
It Had to be You: Motion City Soundtrack.
Leave the Light on: A Kidnap in Color.
Lucky: Jason Mraz & Colbie Cailliat.
*My Beautiful Rescue: This Providence.
No Air: Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown.
No One Can Touch Us: Sing It Loud.
Only One: Yellowcard.
Realize: School Boy Humor.
Red Balloon: Backseat Goodbye.
Say it Again: Marie Digby.
So Much Love: The Rocket Summer.
Stolen: Dashboard Confessional.
That's So You: The Rocket Summer.
Thunder: Boys Like Girls.
Undeniable: Mat Kearney.
*Up and Up: Relient k.
*The Way I Am: Ingrid Michaelson.
We're Going to be Friends: The White Stripes.
With You: Chris Brown.
Who Needs Air: the Classic Crime.
Why Can't I?: Liz Phair.
You Be The Anchor...: Mayday Parade.
You Belong With Me: Taylor Swift.
Your Guardian Angel: The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.
Young Love: Gavin Degraw.

-Laura (16-f)

My boyfriend and I haven't been together long but we were very close friends before we became a couple. We met just after I split up with my ex, who I was very upset about and took a long time to get over. I liked my current boyfriend for a long time although I still wasn't over my ex. When we finally got together, I was really happy and I can safely say that I no longer have any feelings towards my ex.

My current boyfriend and I both have alot of problems at home and always look to each other for support. However, recently I find that all I want is some stability, not a boyfriend who has just as many issues as me. We always have some form of problem with each other and I'm constantly finding faults in him. I worry that I'm only with him because I don't want to be on my own. I love him and he is like my best friend but I can't continue to do this all the time.

I really am at a loss as to what to do. I don't want to break up with him, but deep down I keep thinking I have to. I'm considering asking him for a break from each other, so we can both think about our real feelings but I'm worried that will cause more problems. What should I do?

Like somebody said below, every relationship has it ups and downs. Just because right now you're sort of having a "down" doesn't mean you should give up entirely.

I like your idea of a "break", and I think that going on a "break" would be a good idea. This way, you can see how you'll feel without him, without totally breaking it off. But before you tell him you'd like a break from each other, talk to him. Tell him how you're feeling and be honest with him. Tell him that you're not breaking up with him, but you just need time to sort out your feelings and you think he should do the same.

If and when you DO decide to try going on a "break", wait a few days; then sit down by yourself in your room and think about how you're feeling. Ask yourself these questions:

- "Do I miss him?" and if so "How much do I miss him?"
- "Am I happier now without him than I was when I was with him?"
- "Would I rather go back to the way things were, or keep things how they are now?"

I hope this helps & best of luck.

-Laura (16-f)

im turning 16, ive had a digital camera for like 3 years, it's time for a new one =]

i want a professional, or very excellent digital camera that takes great pictures, preferebly under...$200 let me know please! =D

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=553341

:)

-Laura (16-f)

okay im fourteen years old and im extremly bored with my life. not all of my friends have a hobby but most do. im not a sporty girl but i would do a sport if that was my last resort. i need something to occupy my time really. everyday i get home from shcool and jsut watch tv or go on the computer for hours. its getting ridicoulus and boring. any suggestions?

You just need to try things, even if you don't think you'll like it. Here are some suggestions:

- Writing. (poems, short stories, songs, anything!)
- Reading.
- Running/working out.
- Sewing/knitting.
- Making bracelets/jewelry.
- Drawing.
- Painting.
- Cooking/baking.
- Learning an instrument.
- Dancing.
- Singing.
- Learning another language.
- Acting.

Good luck! :)

-Laura (16-f)

so im 15 talking to a "school" counslor for my first time. she comes out for me on fridays and we talk. well i dont know what to say. i mean i requested her for my cutting and family crap and my doing things that i dont know im doing. so what should i do? thank all help is needed!

You should tell her the truth. Open up to her, and let her know what's going on in your life. Ask her for help when you need it.

You should tell her how you're feeling and why you're feeling that way. Your counselor is there to listen to you, so you should definitely TALK to her about what's on your mind. Talk to her about your cutting, talk to her about your family issues. If you keep all your feelings bottled up inside, one day you're just going to "explode" and feel awful.

Even if you only talk to her some days about seemingly meaningless things, like your algebra test or the way a cute boy smiled at you in the hallways, talking about little things is better than talking about nothing at all :)

-Laura (16-f)

Hello, so i like to be goofy and serenade people, and i was wondering if anyone could add to list of fun sogns to sing to your boyfriend,
something like
here in your arms-hellogoodbye
call and return- hellogoodbye
thanks all!

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=545691

From there:

Alive with the Glory of Love: Say Anything.
*Amazing: Josh Kelley.
*At Least We Made It This Far: Relient k.
Baby, It's Fact: Hellogoodbye.
Best of Me: The Starting Line.
The Best Thing: Relient k.
California: Metro Station.
*Can't Stop: Maroon 5.
Check Yes Juliet: We The Kings.
*Die Alone: Ingrid Michaelson.
Getting Into You: Relient k.
Gravity: Sara Bareilles.
Hands Down: Dashboard Confessional.
Hanging by a Moment: Lifehouse.
Her Eyes: Pat Monahan.
Here in Your Arms: Hellogoodbye.
Hey Jealousy: Hit the Lights.
*I'm Yours: Jason Mraz.
I Caught Fire: The Used.
It Had to be You: Motion City Soundtrack.
Leave the Light on: A Kidnap in Color.
Lucky: Jason Mraz & Colbie Cailliat.
*My Beautiful Rescue: This Providence.
No Air: Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown.
No One Can Touch Us: Sing It Loud.
Only One: Yellowcard.
Realize: School Boy Humor.
Red Balloon: Backseat Goodbye.
Say it Again: Marie Digby.
So Much Love: The Rocket Summer.
Stolen: Dashboard Confessional.
That's So You: The Rocket Summer.
Thunder: Boys Like Girls.
Undeniable: Mat Kearney.
*Up and Up: Relient k.
*The Way I Am: Ingrid Michaelson.
We're Going to be Friends: The White Stripes.
With You: Chris Brown.
Who Needs Air: the Classic Crime.
Why Can't I?: Liz Phair.
You Be The Anchor...: Mayday Parade.
You Belong With Me: Taylor Swift.
Your Guardian Angel: The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.
Young Love: Gavin Degraw.

-Laura (16-f)

I am having trouble making friends, so i invited someone over for later this week. the problem is my house is pretty boring and i dont know what we should do. i dont want to come off boring and lose the possibility of friendship. what should i do?

Here is an answer of mine that might help you with talking to new people:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=548311

As far as what to DO goes, you can:
- Go see a movie.
- Rent a movie.
- Go out to lunch/dinner.
- Cook yourselves lunch/dinner.
^ My best friend and I did this a few weeks ago and had a blast. haha :)
- Go for a walk in the local park.
- Go to the mall.
- Play a board game. (it might sound dorky, but it's a ton of fun!)
- Play Guitar Hero/Rock Band.
- Give yourselves manicures/pedicures (if you're girls, obviously.)

-Laura (16-f)

F/16

Okay, so I used to be overweight, and I lost like 40lbs by exercising and watching what I ate (it took a year, but I finally got it off.) Now, I wanna lose 15lbs, (just to stabilize my weight because I am almost overweight, I am 5'7 and I weigh about 160, sometimes 154.) I really want to weigh 145 by summer and I want to tone up so that I can wear a bathing suit, I'm a lifeguard, and not be uncomfortable in my body for once in my life. I work out for an hour once a day, and take one day off once a week. And I keep an eye on what I eat, it's not monitored extremely well, but I watch my portions and snacks and all.

Anyway, I would like to know if you guys have any advice for how to lose that weight and get toned and in shape by summer? Any advice would be appreciated (:

What you're doing now does sound great!

The only suggestion I'd make is really keeping an eye on your snack habits. Try eating healthy snacks, like fruits or yogurt. Doing something simple like that can make a huge difference.

Here are a few good websites I found for you:

http://kidshealth.org/teen/food_fitness/nutrition/healthy_snacks.html

http://teenadvice.about.com/od/healthwellness/qt/teen_snacks.htm

http://extension.usu.edu/files/publications/factsheet/pub__6081774.pdf

Congrats on getting healthy :)

-Laura (16-f)

So my boyfriend lives two hours away and I am trying to think of ways to keep our relationship strong. We talk on the phone twice a week, and text/IM as much as we can, and see each other maybe once a month, at least every other month.

Do you guys have any ideas on how we can get closer even though we live so far away from each other?

Do you have a web cam? Does he have a web cam?

If not, get web cams and talk to each other on them a few times a week. Also, I'm NOT suggesting anything more than talking (aka anything dirty). I just felt like I should clarify.

Another thing you can do, is send each other stuff in the mail. Like, make him a mix CD, or bake him his favorite cookies, and send them to him.

Hope this helps :)

-Laura (16-f)

I just want your opinions on this. How big could the age difference be in teen years. Say like a 14 year old girl how much older would your opinion for her to date? I just want to see what your opinions are. Thanks!

From a legal standpoint, it would be best to stay away from anybody 18 and over (because 18 is the "legal" age). I'm sure you know the laws on that, though, so I won't go into specifics.

From a personal standpoint, I don't think 14 year olds should date anybody older than 16. Why? Because 14 is still very young, and most guys are much more immature than girls anyways.

And I think that once guys reach 17, they start to mature (even if only a little bit), and that they want more out of a relationship than "OMG WE'RE GOING OUT!!", which is how most 14 year olds tend to view relationships.

I'm not criticizing you by saying that or anything, but I've been there, felt that way, and see it happening now with my younger brothers.

-Laura (16-f)

when a guy tells me that he isnt glad he is diabetic because im so0 sweet hat does that mean.. does it mean he rlly likes me.. i mean i really think he likes me.. plz answer and i will rate U.. thanks

It means he definitely needs some better pick up lines. However, I'd take that as a sign that he's into you. ;)

Try talking to him about it to find out for sure.

-Laura (16-f)

hey there, so i understand if you cant directly answer this question for content, but i have a question about giving my boyfriend a handjob. i've never done it before, and i wanted to know some things like if you reach under their pants and their boxers or what? or like do they get hard on your own or if you have to do it? im really confused haha and id really appreciate it if someone can help me out or give me a website. thank you!! :)

Thanks for the inbox!

I'm sorry, but I know nothing about hand jobs or anything of that nature. Truthfully, I don't know why you asked me. Sorry =/

Try Google...?

-Laura (16-f)

So my head has been really itchy the past month or so. And its just the back part of my head.
My hair is starting to fall out, like crazy.
Do you think its head lice? Or what?
I've checked the sides of my head, and there doesn't seem to be anything there. How do I check properly? Should I go to the doctor? Or what?
Hellppppp.

The best thing you can do is go see your doctor. None of us here on the site are doctors, and none of us can properly diagnose you.

-Laura (16-f)

I'm in high school and back in middle school there was this girl who i really wanted to be friends with. i got lucky and in 7th grade she was in my homeroom. we got to be real good friends and hang out. now we're in high school and i haven't really talked to her a lot in years. I really wish we could be friends, but i don't see her much in school. Is there anything I can do? I don't want stupid answers like "talk to her" or "go say hi".

I think you SHOULD say hello to her and talk to her. You can't get to know somebody without talking to them.

Does she have a Facebook or Myspace? If so, add her and then send her a message saying something like "Hi! I haven't talked to you in such a long time. How have you been?" or say something like "We haven't hung out in so long, we should catch up sometime!"

Good luck :)

-Laura (16-f)

I'm a bridesmaid in my cousins wedding in two days. The rehearsal and rehearsal dinner are tomorrow but I have absolutely no idea what to wear. I probably should have thought about this earlier but it didn't even come to mind until today.

I don't think it's going to be very formal, the wedding itself I'd say its just like sunday best not really like glamorous wear or anything. Then again I didn't ask anything about the rehearsal. The rehearsal is at the church where the ceremony and reception are being held at and for the dinner we're all going back to my cousins regular church and they're making spaghetti. Not a formal thing at all, at least that's what I'd guess?

The major problem is I don't really have any dressy clothes. I used to have these nice black pants that were good for like a job interview or something, but I lent them to my friend and never saw them again. The closest thing I have to black pants now is yoga pants, which....idk that's probably not gonna work. I don't have khaki pants or long enough skirts either, because I thought of that too. I have a few like semi nice tops, but they're really more like "nice casual"...if that makes sense. And I have really dark wash jeans that I was thinking I could try to dress up. Is that too informal tho?

I really dont want to buy something but I have no idea what to wear. Please respond asap its tomorrow! Thanks!

I don't think you should wear pants to a wedding, no matter how "formal" or "informal" it is. I'd suggest a nice sundress, maybe with a sweater over it.

As far as where/how to get one does, try asking your friends if they have something you can borrow. Ask other family members, too. Basically, just ask around.

If you have to buy one, go to Forever 21 or Charlotte Russe. They're not super expensive, and they have a lot to choose from.

If you need any other help, just send me an inbox :)

-Laura (16-f)

16/f
Hi, I'm applying to be a lifeguard this summer for the first time. What kind of suits do female lifeguards generally wear? One or two pieces? I know some places get specific about that, but some places don't, and I'm not sure if where I'm applying does (I'm applying to be a NYC lifeguard - so if anyone knows whether or not they require a one or two piece, if you could tell me?)

At every place I've been to, I've seen lifeguards wearing ONE piece suits. I guess it really depends on where you're applying at, because the answer beneath me was different.

But the answer below me also mentioned that lifeguards they've seen sometimes wear shorts over their bathing suits, and I HAVE seen that before.

The best thing you can do is call the place where you are applying and ask somebody there. Or, try and check their website (if they have one).

-Laura (16-f)

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