about

I'm a mother of 2 boys who are 13 months apart. Talk about a handful. I'm a wife to the best husband I could have ever dreamed of.
I'm one of the very blessed.


I have Bipolar 1 Disorder. I hate taking all these medications and always going to doctors appointments, but life is too short to let mental illness get the better of me.


Often times life is a challenge, and nobody knows that better than me. I wake up wondering if this is going to be a day my illness overpowers my meds, and either sends me flying like a bat out of hell, or leaves me laying on the couch like a wet dish rag.


Thank all that is good in the world that I have an excellent support system at home.
I'm one of the lucky ones.


I'm honest, and that can either be a perk or s flaw. Depends on how you choose to look at it.
I like to see it as a perk, because it's better to hear the truth than to be told candy coated bullshit.






advice

I've got problems with anxiety and depression and I am currently medicated for both. I've done well for quite a long time now. My husband and I would dearly love to have children together. I have recently seen a psychiatrist that pretty much scolded me for even considering to have children... I was hurt and shocked because I had never been treated like a handicapped person that shouldn't breed before. Are other people aware of this issue? If you are... what are your thoughts? Am I nuts for wanting children? Should I completely forget about it because of my problems? Any input of any opinion is welcome.

Well now that was pretty rude of them to say.

No. I don't think you are nuts.

Research and learn your facts. Find an OB who you would want to have deliver your children, and set an appointment with them to discuss this.

Since you have depression problems already, you run a higher risk of pregnancy causing it to be worse. You run a higher risk of Postpartum Depression (PPD).

Trust me, them hormones are bastards. I'm 33 weeks pregnant with my second child. I was NOT pregnant for all of 4 months after my first child. This time around, my emotions are literally a train wreck.
"Baby Blues" which is common after pregnancy from the hormonal issues has escalated to me being worried that I'll suffer PPD after this little guy is born.

Now, the medications are a very tricky thing. You run risk of your own mental well being if you stop taking them, yet they can also cause harm to your unborn child.

Like I said, research. There is a world of information on the internet that may help you out.

But definitely talk to that OB. Completely fill them in on your history. If you can, have your records faxed to them from your psychiatrist so they can get a more in depth idea of what's going on.

Don't just rule out having children.

ygs-29/f

[view]

16/m
is it wierd to shave my pubes, like most girls said they'd like it better if i shaved

Well, I personally would think it a bit strange if my husband were to shave his pubes, but it is really all in personal taste.
I'd probably snicker at him a little (but only because it wouldn't be like him to shave his pubic hair), but it wouldn't matter to me if he did.

What do YOU think about it? It's your hair. You're the one getting dangerously close to sensitive places with a razor. What do YOU want?

ygs-29/f

[view]

How do you get a friend to open up to you?

Ive told her im always here for her if she needs someone to talk to and stuff but i just cant get her to break down to me.

Any suggestions?

Well, you've thrown it out there that you are a listening ear and a supportive shoulder. That's about all you can do other than wait for her to be ready to open up.
Can't rush it, because that's on her.
Don't push it, or she will be less apt to say anything.

ygs-29/f

[view]

I am in a modeling competition and have to compete in a talent show ( which I am not looking forward to since I have no talent but modeling ).
Does anyone have any ideas as to what I could possibly do? I can NOT sing or dance so anything concerning those 2 things are definately out! Please give me suggestions!! Oh and I cant play any instruments either! Thank you!!

You could give some sort of speech. Or act out a monologue.

ygs-29/f

[view]

hi.
i am 16/f. my boyfriend and i have been dating for over a year, and we have sex. well, we really wanted to get pregnant, and the other day he came inside me. now i know 16 seems really young, it is. but im feeling sick to my stomach, i get headachs, thirsty, going to the bathroom a lot, moody, getting cramps, i feel fat, my boobs are aching, ect. its too early to take a test, becasue i havent gotten my period but still i would like a little input incase i am pregnant.

i havnt told either of my parents (they are getting devorced at the moment) but he hasnt told his parents either.

the problem with this is that he was locked up and is currently on probation, and part of the probation is NOT to talk to me or have ANY contact with me at all, so if he tells his parents they will tell his P.O and then he will go back. i cant handle that!

i would love to know how we should tell our parents. my boyfriend says to make them all go out to dinner (a public place so they cant KILL us) and tell them at the end of dinner.

also, i am a VARSITY cheerleader, and i love to tan in tanning beds. what should i do about these? anything?

i would also love to know anything and everything you can tell me about parenting please...
thankyou.

Well, don't be going off telling parents, because you don't know yet. Wait until you are at least 2 weeks late to test. That way, in case you are having an irregular month, you still get an accurate test result.

If you end up not being pregnant, I STRONGLY advise not trying. Not only are you merely 16, but your boyfriend will go back to jail. It would be quite obvious that he had contact with you. Even though there is a child involved, he is still breaking the law set by his probation. He will still go to jail.

Your parents are divorcing, so that is bringing a grandchild into a family in turmoil. Not a good idea for the kid.

If you DO end up being pregnant, best way to say it is just come out with it. There is no easy way for a 16 year old girl to break that news to her parents. Its even harder news for him to break to his, considering his legal situation.

No matter what happens with him, both sets of parents have a right to know they have a grandchild on the way.

They won't kill you. They will be disappointed, they will be angry, but they won't kill you. They WILL come to grips with it.

Varsity cheerleader? Kiss that goodbye if you are pregnant. I know that's something you worked hard for, but it will be over. DO finish your education in some way, shape or form. That is very important.

Tanning beds, probably not a good idea if you are pregnant. You will need to get an OB. You need to ask him/her how safe tanning during pregnancy is. I'm 33 weeks pregnant with my second, I don't tan, so I can't answer that question accurately. I would say that there is no harm in tanning, but I wouldn't do so with tanning beds.

You don't want to put yourself in a situation where your core body temperature raises above 98.9 degrees. If your temperature is 102, so is that little baby's. I DO know that hot baths and hot tubs are a no-no.

Anything I can tell you about parenting? It's hard, plain and simple. There is no instruction book, and every child is different. Some kids scream 24/7, some don't. Either way, it's a big, hard job.
My oldest son will be 1 year old on Saturday. I'll tell you what I've learned in the past year. Scary? Probably. The honest to God truth? Yes. Welcome to my reality.

If you formula feed, you feed every 4 hours around the clock, or breast feed every 2 hours around the clock. This goes on until they sleep through the night. Some kids don't sleep through the night until they are 4+ months old. Trust me, its hard to function on such little sleep.

Sleep doesn't come easy once they start teething. Even the most contented newborn will scream and cry all the live long day. My son was a contented newborn, and started teething at 3 months old. He was miserable, and misery does love company.

He didn't finally cut that tooth until he was 6 months, so he was crying in misery for 3 months. That was a long, long 3 months for me. Most kids start teething between 3-6 months. Once they start teething, it is some time before it actually starts to cut through.

Same goes for when they are sick. Sick babies want love and comfort, because that is all they have that feels good. Yes, such comfort is often needed at odd hours through the day and night.

Once they get on the move, look out. First they roll all over and get into stuff. Next they crawl all over and get into more stuff. Then walking starts, and they get into everything. Its really exciting to see them accomplish such milestones, but I find it is also nerve racking to the highest degree.

If it isn't a toy, it has to be moved out of their reach. That means everything that is yours needs to have a place found above waist level. That is much easier said than done.
And you can't move electrical sockets above waist level. These are VERY attractive to the infant/toddler eye.
The buttons on the TV are equally as attractive. Same goes for the stereo. And remote controls. And phones.

Being Mom, you might as well forget being minded most of the time. You'll get minded about as well as kids mind that one substitute teacher in school. Yes, they learn quickly what NO means, but choose to ignore it.

Sometimes they look right at you and smile while dunking the TV remote into your glass of tea. Yes, they know they shouldn't be doing that, but that is what makes it so fun.

You will no longer have time for friends, because you are now someone's personal jungle gym. Of course, your friends won't want to make time for you, because they are free of such responsibility, and WILL choose to hang out with friends who lead a kid-free lifestyle.
This doesn't happen right away, but it will happen in due time, 9 times out of 10. You know, once the whole "cuteness" wears off.

Hell, I'm almost 30 years old, and I don't have time for friends and a life outside of my little home. My little family unit IS my life. I'm lucky enough to be able to be a stay at home mom, but then again, I don't get out much. A trip to the grocery store is an exciting adventure for me.

You will no longer be able to afford to buy things for yourself, or go out on the town, because babies outgrow clothes and shoes like they are going out of style. In the meantime, your clothes and shoes WILL go out of style, because you having new clothes and shoes no longer matters.

Your needs pretty much stop mattering, and your wants, well, just forget all them. Kid's needs come before Mom's holey pair of underwear. Always. Mom just does without, because she has to. Trust me. I need new underwear. Maybe I can get some for Christmas.

I spend $15 in diapers EVERY WEEK on ONE child. Formula costs about $12 per can, and you can expect to go through about 10 cans per month. AFTER they start sleeping through the night. They are on formula for at least 1 year.

Breast milk is always the best way to go, but some women choose formula because it is a bit easier, and some women are unable to breast feed. Personally, the first time, I never had milk come in at all. So I may not have it this time, either.

Oh, I forgot to mention that once that baby gets on the move, good luck going to the bathroom without an audience. I often times have to fight for the toilet paper. Something that should be a quick trip into the bathroom ends up being a 10 minute task.
And be sure to keep the lid down on the toilet. Babies love to stick their hands in toilet water and splash around.

"Aww... Such a cute little boy! His outfit is SO cute!" ...Says the person who didn't wrangle him into it. It's a fight to even change his diaper. Getting him dressed causes me to literally break out in a sweat.

His car seat is a real pain in the ass. It keeps him safe, it is an absolute traveling necessity, but trying to wrangle an wiggling, worming child into a 5 point harness is a chore. Yes, ma'am. He makes it VERY clear he isn't ready to leave Grandma's house. He fights and protests to the highest degree, making me cuss that damn car seat for being so hard to buckle up.

You will realize that you should get at least 1 pair of extra arms upon the birth of a child, but of course, no such luck. Juggling becomes your greatest talent.

Fear not gross bodily fluids. You WILL be peed on, pooped on, spit up on, thrown up on, drooled on, snotted on, and anything else you can imagine. You will probably find yourself sniffing their hind end to see if they happen to stink. Yes, even in public.

Diaper rashes are awful. Sometimes, no matter what you do, they get worse before they get better. Nothing breaks your heart more than cleaning a poopy, rashy bottom and your baby lies there screaming in agony.
Hey, one way or another, they need to be cleaned, and sometimes even the most gentle, pain-free way of going about it is still agony for them.

What really sucks is when they are crying so hard they stop breathing for several seconds. Yes, babies will do that from time to time when crying like that. And those seconds seem eternal when you are wanting them to suck in a breath of air.

I can go on and on, I'm sure. Yah, kids are great. I won't lie. I love my son, and I'm glad we have another coming next month. But there are many things about having a baby that are very hard.

When folks go on about the responsibilities of having a child, its the hard stuff they are saying one needs to be prepared for. You may think you are prepared to handle such things, but are you really?

Like I said, I'm to be 30 in 2 months. I knew it would be hard, but nothing could prepare me for how hard it really is.

It's hard for me and I'm married to a husband who is always quick to lend a helping hand. We have an established home, and our only debts are our monthly utility bills and a $90 monthly loan payment. We still scrape by to buy groceries, the baby's shoes, clothes, medicines, etc.
Children are expensive, no matter how you shake it.

That doesn't even include all of the baby stuff we had to buy before he was even born. You're looking at spending $400 on a good crib, alone.

If you ARE pregnant, I'll give you all the advice I can give you to help you get going in this life.

If you AREN'T, then think really, really hard before making such a huge life changing decision. You are only young once, so live it and enjoy it.

I'm not cutting you down, or just making things up to scare you out of having a baby. I'm telling you the truth, trying to give you an idea of what you are in for.

ygs-29/f

[view]

hi okay so i have a boyfriend and weve been together for 9 months and these past couple of month have been amazing for us. like i love him alot but the thing is, i stopped talking to all my friends and so did he. like we didnt completly isolate ourselves or anyhting its just, whenever im chilling with my friends or something i always find myself trying to find him. its not like we ditched them or anyhting but im in my last year of highschool i have a couple months of school left, and honestly the only thing that matter to me in my life right now is my family, homework, and my boyfriend. me and boyfriend just click so well and hes my best friend before everything else so thats why its so amazing between us. do you think im totally insane for not wanting to chill with my friends and i should distance myself from him? or has this happend to any of you guys? anything would be greatly appreciated.

No, I don't think you are insane, but I think you should consider making time for relationships with friends.

I don't mean distance yourself from him, but make time away from him to spend with others. You know, once a week, or something, that is a "friend day."

You don't want to look back on your senior year and regret time that wasn't spend with "my friend so and so."

ygs-29/f

[view]

I have a co-worker with bad body odor. The entire staff has noticed it and it's been mentioned it to our managers who don't know what to do either. Hints (even major ones) just haven't worked ... what can we do?

No since being rude about it or humiliating the person. They may have some sort of medical disorder, for all you know.
Personally, I'd leave it to the managers to deal with. Let them be the bad guy.

But if you feel you need to say something, definitely don't publicly humiliate this person. Talk to them in private. Maybe they need advice on how to get rid of it?

ygs-29/f

[view]

Hi. im sara. im 7 weeks pregnant. and im 15
my parents dont know. =/
once in a while my mom's telling me im getting fattt.
and that im eating alot. idk how to tell them.
they would kick me out.
i have a little bump from it.
im happy about it. but im not sure about the parents
helpp mee.


There is no easy way for a 15 year old girl to tell her parents, so best way to do it is just come out with it. You know, like ripping off a band aid. Blurt it out- "I'm pregnant."

You can't think negatively. You may think they would kick you out, but that is doubtful. You need to say something ASAP, because you are going to need their help.

You are also going to need to find yourself an OB. It's very important for you to see a doctor throughout pregnancy to insure your health and your baby's health.

ygs-29/f

[view]

my gam(grandma) died in 12/10/07.
On my 17th birthday I'm allowed to get a tattoo. And I want it for her. Now I want it on my rips(going up the sides) I really can't find anything like that. I did find some things, but it's not what I'm really looking for. My birthday is in June. I MIGHT Get it early bc I'm going to Florida around my birthday wih my friend. And I want my tattoo to be PERFECT and have it ready whenever I go to get it. Can anyone on here maybe draw a picture if I explain what I want to you? Or even do it on the computer? Please and Thank You Soooo Much!!


What Im looking for.
-Maybe Stars, or flowers going up the side and having RIP Gammy in it somewhere. I really don't know what I want. Anything really pretty. Please and thank you

I don't know if this helps you, but my suggestion for a tattoo dedicated to her would be to make sure it involves something that describes her.

For instance, if she was a religious woman, use a religious symbol. If she was into flowers, use her favorite flower.
You know, something that says something about Gammy.

Just a suggestion.

ygs-29/f

[view]

i've never taken care of a plant before, and i recently got a pot with 3 hyacinths. their leaves are already out but no flowers can be seen.. how am i supposed to take care of them so they dont die?

Lots of links on how to care for them here:

only search advicenators.com


ygs-29/f

[view]

Ok heres the deal...
I don't like talk to anyone
I hate to burden other people with my issues!
I became friends with my old school social worker
She is the bestt ever!
She is literaly like my second mother
I went to see her everyday at brea for 3 yrs!
Well..
When I left my old school, she gave me her number so I could call her anytime
Well she has her own kid...and everything
So I don't want to burden her
My best friend thinks that she loves to talk to me, and that she wouldn't have given me her numberr if she didn't want me to call her
She called me about 3 months ago, and I didn't call her since then...
I feel really bad about it
I love her like my mother, and I didn't want to drive her away!
I called her today...and she didn't call me back
I think she is mad at me...and I have been crying because I think that she is madd at me!!!!
(she has a track phone, and she might have run out of minutes, thats the only thing I can think of why she didn't call me)
What do you think...and should I call again? Or leave her alone and she will call in her own timee?

I agree that she wouldn't have given you her number if she didn't want to talk to you.

Since her phone is pre paid, she may be too low on minutes to return your call, as you suspect. If she still doesn't call back, give her some time, then try calling again.

Be sure to apologize for not calling before, and be honest with her as to why you didn't.

ygs-29/f

[view]

ok, so i was in psychology. and the teacher said that this lady made herself believe she was pregnant. and she even missed her periods and got bigger and stuff. like, retained water and stuff. but she wouldnt actually give birth to a child.

like, could that really happen? i mean, its really weird. and you cannot have a child without intercourse...

Who knows what the human brain can do?

This is how I see it:
If people can bleed from their hands and feet (Stigmata) by belief, then I'd say a woman stopping her periods and retaining fluids like that is just as possible.

No, you can't become pregnant by will alone.

ygs-29/f

[view]

anyone know how make mexica enchilla???

Click this search to find links to many enchilada recipes:

only search advicenators.com


ygs-29/f

[view]

ok i have like the awesomest friends in the world and some of them are boys and i guess thats y my mom won't let me but she wont let me go to the movies with any of them and its not that i dont want her there but my mom came with me once and my friends were like what the heck why did you bring your gay mom and stuff like that.
wat should i do?
i really want to spend time with them
they are amazing!

Gee.
Some friends you got there, who rank your mother down.

You need to talk to your mom. Find out her reasoning behind her not wanting to let you go out with your guy friends. I'd wager it has something to do with your age?

Best bet is to be mature about it by listening to her and respecting what she has to say.
She'd be more apt to listen to you and respect what you have to say.

ygs-29/f


[view]

im a girl in high school
so theres this boy who i have a major crush on. hes a grade above me and the only class i have with him is gym (which is embarising becasue im so not a gym person)...i've texted him a few times but its always initially me texting him and he's always the one who says he has to go...so i feel like im bothering him...he doensn't have a sn so i can't talk to him that way...any ideas/suggestions? thanks!

Call him.
If he doesn't seem interested in talking to you, then it's a dead end.

ygs-29/f

[view]

im a freshman (girl) and i have a crush on a junior guy. he texts me a lot and ims me almost everyday online, but he makes it clear that we're just friends he always says stupid things like "haha your great, im glad we're friends" or being sarcastic/funny , "wow im glad you cherish our friendship LOL" and sometimes he'll tell me what junior or senior girl he's into. Theres also a cute softmore whos like in loveee with me and he's sweet just nothing like the junior.
anyway my point is

should i just settle for the softmore? cause i havnt had a boyfriend since like last year and i just miss having one.

or do you think the junior really likes me and i should wait?

thanks xox

Well, don't settle for someone just because you want to have a boyfriend.

It seems to me that this Junior has made it clear he wants to be friends. I could be wrong, so you could always ask him.

But if you go and just settle for the Sophomore, then you aren't really being fair to that poor guy. Nobody wants to be in a relationship with someone who wishes they were with another.

My advice- If the Junior doesn't want to be with you, then you should get over that and be ready to move on before going out with someone else.

ygs-29/f

[view]

Omgosh. I am completely 200% in love with my ex. I dated him for 5 years on and off...more on than off. We're off now and he is flirting and he likes my best friend. He has done this two me once before. It hurts me so bad. I cry all the time and now it's getting worse. My best friend asked me about it and I said I did not care if she dated him because I would hate it if someone told me I couldn't date someone because of their past relationships. It would break my heart. I don't know what to do. This is such a low point for me.

I think if your best friend is truly your best friend, she would appreciate you being honest with her. She surely wouldn't want to do something that makes all hurt and crying.
I know you are all in love with him, but a guy isn't worth impacting a friendship.

So say something.

ygs-29/f

[view]

My husband is a wonderful father and partner. Our child is coming up fast to 2 years old and we have another one on the way. I have just turned 20 years old.

The problem is, is that from the instant our son was born, he just got it and well...I didn't, and I still don't.

Is just knowing that I will inevitably get things wrong, but as long as I make sure the children know that whatever I do is done with the best of intentions and that I would do anything for them enough? I'm just scared of seeming second-rate.

Any help is more than appreciated.
Thank you for your time.

Seeming what? A second-rate mother?
If you do for your kids out of love and best of intentions, then you are far from second-rate.

Look, nobody is perfect. No PARENT is perfect. I'm certainly not, nor will I ever admit to being as such. We are only human. We make mistakes and do things wrong.

Doing the best you can with what you got is enough. Being there for them and loving them is enough.

To be honest? I didn't get it at first and my husband did. The first week my son was home, I kept bawling and carrying on because I thought I couldn't take care of him and that he hated me.
Boy, was I wrong.

I try my best. I show him how much I love him. That's all I know I can do. I know he seems pretty happy with it.

It's a learn as you go thing. We are mothers for the rest of our lives. We'll surely be learning how to be mothers for the rest of our lives.
That doesn't make us bad people, and it certainly doesn't make us second-rate.
It makes us mothers.

Don't sweat the small stuff. You'll be just fine.

ygs-29/f

[view]

How old do you have to be to work at La Tan?
and you do you know if you can work there 15 with a permit?

Your best bet would be to stop in, or call them and ask.
Their manager should be able to answer any questions you have regarding their employment rules and regulations.

ygs-29/f

[view]

ok.....last question, ive been goin on without treatment for about 8 months do i still have a chance of treating it before it gets worse ?...the reason i didnt go before is because i never knew you could get an std from oral sex i just found out so ill be going to the clinic around next week so by any chance do you kno if i still have a chance at treating it and getting it over with before it gets worse because i haf no symptoms right now

I can't honestly tell you, because I don't know.
I suppose it all depends on what the STD is.

The best thing I can tell you to get information is if you know specifically what STD it is, search the internet for info.
Other than that, talking to a medical professional is the best way to get answers on your specific situation.

ygs-29/f

[view]

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
eXTReMe Tracker