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new mommy
hi.
i am 16/f. my boyfriend and i have been dating for over a year, and we have sex. well, we really wanted to get pregnant, and the other day he came inside me. now i know 16 seems really young, it is. but im feeling sick to my stomach, i get headachs, thirsty, going to the bathroom a lot, moody, getting cramps, i feel fat, my boobs are aching, ect. its too early to take a test, becasue i havent gotten my period but still i would like a little input incase i am pregnant.
i havnt told either of my parents (they are getting devorced at the moment) but he hasnt told his parents either.
the problem with this is that he was locked up and is currently on probation, and part of the probation is NOT to talk to me or have ANY contact with me at all, so if he tells his parents they will tell his P.O and then he will go back. i cant handle that!
i would love to know how we should tell our parents. my boyfriend says to make them all go out to dinner (a public place so they cant KILL us) and tell them at the end of dinner.
also, i am a VARSITY cheerleader, and i love to tan in tanning beds. what should i do about these? anything?
i would also love to know anything and everything you can tell me about parenting please...
thankyou.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Parenting?
Well, don't be going off telling parents, because you don't know yet. Wait until you are at least 2 weeks late to test. That way, in case you are having an irregular month, you still get an accurate test result.
If you end up not being pregnant, I STRONGLY advise not trying. Not only are you merely 16, but your boyfriend will go back to jail. It would be quite obvious that he had contact with you. Even though there is a child involved, he is still breaking the law set by his probation. He will still go to jail.
Your parents are divorcing, so that is bringing a grandchild into a family in turmoil. Not a good idea for the kid.
If you DO end up being pregnant, best way to say it is just come out with it. There is no easy way for a 16 year old girl to break that news to her parents. Its even harder news for him to break to his, considering his legal situation.
No matter what happens with him, both sets of parents have a right to know they have a grandchild on the way.
They won't kill you. They will be disappointed, they will be angry, but they won't kill you. They WILL come to grips with it.
Varsity cheerleader? Kiss that goodbye if you are pregnant. I know that's something you worked hard for, but it will be over. DO finish your education in some way, shape or form. That is very important.
Tanning beds, probably not a good idea if you are pregnant. You will need to get an OB. You need to ask him/her how safe tanning during pregnancy is. I'm 33 weeks pregnant with my second, I don't tan, so I can't answer that question accurately. I would say that there is no harm in tanning, but I wouldn't do so with tanning beds.
You don't want to put yourself in a situation where your core body temperature raises above 98.9 degrees. If your temperature is 102, so is that little baby's. I DO know that hot baths and hot tubs are a no-no.
Anything I can tell you about parenting? It's hard, plain and simple. There is no instruction book, and every child is different. Some kids scream 24/7, some don't. Either way, it's a big, hard job.
My oldest son will be 1 year old on Saturday. I'll tell you what I've learned in the past year. Scary? Probably. The honest to God truth? Yes. Welcome to my reality.
If you formula feed, you feed every 4 hours around the clock, or breast feed every 2 hours around the clock. This goes on until they sleep through the night. Some kids don't sleep through the night until they are 4+ months old. Trust me, its hard to function on such little sleep.
Sleep doesn't come easy once they start teething. Even the most contented newborn will scream and cry all the live long day. My son was a contented newborn, and started teething at 3 months old. He was miserable, and misery does love company.
He didn't finally cut that tooth until he was 6 months, so he was crying in misery for 3 months. That was a long, long 3 months for me. Most kids start teething between 3-6 months. Once they start teething, it is some time before it actually starts to cut through.
Same goes for when they are sick. Sick babies want love and comfort, because that is all they have that feels good. Yes, such comfort is often needed at odd hours through the day and night.
Once they get on the move, look out. First they roll all over and get into stuff. Next they crawl all over and get into more stuff. Then walking starts, and they get into everything. Its really exciting to see them accomplish such milestones, but I find it is also nerve racking to the highest degree.
If it isn't a toy, it has to be moved out of their reach. That means everything that is yours needs to have a place found above waist level. That is much easier said than done.
And you can't move electrical sockets above waist level. These are VERY attractive to the infant/toddler eye.
The buttons on the TV are equally as attractive. Same goes for the stereo. And remote controls. And phones.
Being Mom, you might as well forget being minded most of the time. You'll get minded about as well as kids mind that one substitute teacher in school. Yes, they learn quickly what NO means, but choose to ignore it.
Sometimes they look right at you and smile while dunking the TV remote into your glass of tea. Yes, they know they shouldn't be doing that, but that is what makes it so fun.
You will no longer have time for friends, because you are now someone's personal jungle gym. Of course, your friends won't want to make time for you, because they are free of such responsibility, and WILL choose to hang out with friends who lead a kid-free lifestyle.
This doesn't happen right away, but it will happen in due time, 9 times out of 10. You know, once the whole "cuteness" wears off.
Hell, I'm almost 30 years old, and I don't have time for friends and a life outside of my little home. My little family unit IS my life. I'm lucky enough to be able to be a stay at home mom, but then again, I don't get out much. A trip to the grocery store is an exciting adventure for me.
You will no longer be able to afford to buy things for yourself, or go out on the town, because babies outgrow clothes and shoes like they are going out of style. In the meantime, your clothes and shoes WILL go out of style, because you having new clothes and shoes no longer matters.
Your needs pretty much stop mattering, and your wants, well, just forget all them. Kid's needs come before Mom's holey pair of underwear. Always. Mom just does without, because she has to. Trust me. I need new underwear. Maybe I can get some for Christmas.
I spend $15 in diapers EVERY WEEK on ONE child. Formula costs about $12 per can, and you can expect to go through about 10 cans per month. AFTER they start sleeping through the night. They are on formula for at least 1 year.
Breast milk is always the best way to go, but some women choose formula because it is a bit easier, and some women are unable to breast feed. Personally, the first time, I never had milk come in at all. So I may not have it this time, either.
Oh, I forgot to mention that once that baby gets on the move, good luck going to the bathroom without an audience. I often times have to fight for the toilet paper. Something that should be a quick trip into the bathroom ends up being a 10 minute task.
And be sure to keep the lid down on the toilet. Babies love to stick their hands in toilet water and splash around.
"Aww... Such a cute little boy! His outfit is SO cute!" ...Says the person who didn't wrangle him into it. It's a fight to even change his diaper. Getting him dressed causes me to literally break out in a sweat.
His car seat is a real pain in the ass. It keeps him safe, it is an absolute traveling necessity, but trying to wrangle an wiggling, worming child into a 5 point harness is a chore. Yes, ma'am. He makes it VERY clear he isn't ready to leave Grandma's house. He fights and protests to the highest degree, making me cuss that damn car seat for being so hard to buckle up.
You will realize that you should get at least 1 pair of extra arms upon the birth of a child, but of course, no such luck. Juggling becomes your greatest talent.
Fear not gross bodily fluids. You WILL be peed on, pooped on, spit up on, thrown up on, drooled on, snotted on, and anything else you can imagine. You will probably find yourself sniffing their hind end to see if they happen to stink. Yes, even in public.
Diaper rashes are awful. Sometimes, no matter what you do, they get worse before they get better. Nothing breaks your heart more than cleaning a poopy, rashy bottom and your baby lies there screaming in agony.
Hey, one way or another, they need to be cleaned, and sometimes even the most gentle, pain-free way of going about it is still agony for them.
What really sucks is when they are crying so hard they stop breathing for several seconds. Yes, babies will do that from time to time when crying like that. And those seconds seem eternal when you are wanting them to suck in a breath of air.
I can go on and on, I'm sure. Yah, kids are great. I won't lie. I love my son, and I'm glad we have another coming next month. But there are many things about having a baby that are very hard.
When folks go on about the responsibilities of having a child, its the hard stuff they are saying one needs to be prepared for. You may think you are prepared to handle such things, but are you really?
Like I said, I'm to be 30 in 2 months. I knew it would be hard, but nothing could prepare me for how hard it really is.
It's hard for me and I'm married to a husband who is always quick to lend a helping hand. We have an established home, and our only debts are our monthly utility bills and a $90 monthly loan payment. We still scrape by to buy groceries, the baby's shoes, clothes, medicines, etc.
Children are expensive, no matter how you shake it.
That doesn't even include all of the baby stuff we had to buy before he was even born. You're looking at spending $400 on a good crib, alone.
If you ARE pregnant, I'll give you all the advice I can give you to help you get going in this life.
If you AREN'T, then think really, really hard before making such a huge life changing decision. You are only young once, so live it and enjoy it.
I'm not cutting you down, or just making things up to scare you out of having a baby. I'm telling you the truth, trying to give you an idea of what you are in for.
ygs-29/f
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