about

God help you if you trusted the advice I gave at 13.




trisspoke (7:31:17 PM): make me your forum link!

advice

In your opinion...
who do you favor most: Tyra or Oprah?
Please list the reasons why in relations to the other person. I've been curious, so thanks!

The one question I will never be able to answer. I love them both so much.

Tyra:
-She relates to young girls. She knows about our fears and the like.
-She feels more like us. She has her crazy moments letting us feel like she's normal.

Oprah:
-She has done so much good in the world. Opening a school in Africa? Can you say AMAZING?
-For the past 20 years she has taught women to stand up for themselves. She's been there for generations of women.

[view]

What is considered sex with two women? Like, if you're a virgin, and you're a lesbian, how do you know if you've lost your virginity? What if there aren't any toys? When you're straight and losing your virginity is penis + vagina penetration, what is losing your virginity when you're a lesbian, there's no penis?

When you are a lesbian, losing your virginity is more of a state of mind. Due to the fact that there is no penetration, it's really you who feels you have lost it or if you have not.

[view]

Today my boyfriend and I were making out, and he put his hand up the back of my shirt. He has done that many times before and its fine. Nothing else happens. But today he kind of made his way to the front and tried to get up to my chest. I didn't say anything. I just kind of subtly put my arm in his way and he stopped. He didn't try again and I never told him to stop so I can't blame him, but I got really upset. I actually started crying which was weird because I don't cry much at all, but I tried to hold it back, and I told him it was just my contacts bothering me. He kept asking what was wrong but I couldn't tell him. I could only say "I don't know". I can't get myself to say the words. I want to wait a while and I know he cares about me, I'm sure he would be willing to wait till I'm ready for that. But I don't know how to tell him. He's shy about things like this when you actually talk to him about them so I think telling him face to face might be really difficult.
HOW do I tell him? When can I bring it up? How do I put it into words? What do I say to him exactly?

I like you. You're a good kid. This question made me happy that there are still people like you left in the world, but that's aside the point.

The best thing to do is just come out and say it. Start off like "Babe, we need to talk." That way he'll know it's something serious. Then just lay down the fact that you're not comfortable with going that far. If you are really quite nervous about talking face to face, write it in a letter. A text or IM makes it a lot less serious, which is not what you want to do with a subject like this.

[view]

my boyfriend wants me to give him a handjob, but i'm not sure how to. can anybody tell me?

If you don't know how to, you really shouldn't be giving one.

[view]

I am really off on clothes. Likes I don't know what in style and stuff. I don't want to look preppy basically because I'm not popular and never want to be but thats besides the point. I'm in 8th grade and do you know any good store that sells cute clothes and are not like super expensive?

I have the same problem as you. Abercrombie and that crap is such a cliche now.

Try:
-Forever 21
-Wet Seal
-Delias
-Deparetment stores. Macy's, Nordstrums, ect.
-Hollister. Yes, it's preppy, but I'm always able to find one or two things different when I go in there.
-Hot Topic. A lot of people think it's weird, but I have a lot of cute things from there.
-THRIFT STORES! Sounds weird, but they really have great stuff.

[view]

my boyfriend keeps on trying to have sex with me and i keep saying no but he got me naked on the couch 3 times!
and he tryed to finger me!what should i do?

The person below me who says "just have sex with him" is a fucker.

Honestly, he does not respect you. If he did, he wouldn't keep trying to force you into having sex with him. Dump him. You may not want to, but he is not treating you right.

[view]

why do people have sex when they aren't trying to have a baby? I mean is it that pleasurable?? As you can tell i am a virgin. I want to know why i should have sex and when i know that i am "ready to"!

Though I am a virgin aswell, it is well known that sex is very pleasureable. It is also a way to express love to another person.

You'll know when you're ready. When you love a person very, very much, feel you want to be with them for the rest of your life, and are willing to let them have your virginity, one of the most important things that belong to you, that is when you are ready to have sex.

[view]

So, its my birthday, on july 20th. and i'm super excited. I guess. I mean i'm not having a party this year, and so my mom says i can get whateverrr i wanntt. like anythinggg.

but i already have alot of stuff. lol
this is what i havee..
-cell phone [whem my contracts up in september im getting one of those choclate phones] so ya dont need a cell phone.
-i dont need clothes. as weird as that sounds, i havent even worn half of my summer clothes yet.
-i have an ipod nano, its pink. so i dont need one of those.
-i just got a puppy a few months ago.
-i have a digital camera.
-i have wayyy too much make up.
-i have my own computer.
-i have my own flat screen tv in my room.
-i have lots of expensive jewerly.
-i have a pool, in my backyard, [i got that a few years ago for my bday..] and its huge. so dont need that
-i have a trampoline, which isnt old.
-i have a slide for my pool.

i mean i honestly have like everythinggg. what else is there? what would you want for your bday???

Something that would broden your horizions such as:

-A musical instrument. Lessons, aswell.
-An art kit. Learn to paint!
-A sewing machine
-A piano. Yes, this falls under the catogory of instruments, but I believe everyone should own one.

You could always ask for money. That way when you need it you have it.

You didn't say your age, but maybe a car.

Or do something selfless. Have a donation in your name made out to a charity promoting things like HIV/AIDs Awareness, The American Cancer Society, something helping victims or Darfur, ect. You have all these material possesion, so wouldn't you like to have the warm fuzzy feeling of saving a life?

[view]

what is sex

It's disappointing that people actually explained it to you. You need to go ask your parents to explain it to you. Even though you already have answers this is a talk your guardians are supposed to give you.

[view]

you know how you hear about eating cereal for breakfast to help weght loss? well is it true? does eating cereal for breakfast rea;;y help you lose weight?

It depends on the kind of ceral you're eating.

If you're having Lcuky Charms, Captain Crunch, Sugary Sugar Crunch Bunch, ect, then you will not loose weight.

But if you're eating Special K (tastes best with berries!), Cheerios, Rasin Bran, ect you do loose weight.

The trick is not eating a ceral with tons of sugar. Or just eating a smaller proportion of that with sugar on top.

[view]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for half a year. He had put me through a lot of crap... All my friend's have told me to break up with him but I never wanted to:( He is starting to get mad at me because I am not always all over him( kissing, hugging and doing other things) He has told my friend that if I dont change then he will break up with me:( I don't want that to happen because I really like him. So I told him that I will try to be all over him and stop being to shy. He has given me another chance but if i blow it this time, he said it will be over:( I really don't want that to happen! So please do what ever yeah can to help me!

To be honest, he's not worth your time. By saying he wants you constantly all over him, he just proved he only wants you for pleasure and whatnot. A relationship is not about making out 24/7. It's about commitment, trust, and understanding. None of which he has shown you. Break up with him. If he did like you he wouldn't mind the fact that you're a bit shy about public displays of affection. Find someone who likes your for you. Because this guy doesn't.

[view]

I got a digital camera today and tomorrow I'd like to take photos :) Photos of anything really...but the subject I'm having the most troubles with is myself. Where should I take photos of myself? And what pose should I pose and stuff?

Haha thanks.

Do not use the average myspace pose. That's gross and over done. Unfortunately, my picture on my column resembles it.

Good picture ideas:
-Hold a piece of paper with a quote on it in front of yourself. If you so choose, you are allowed to make the myspace face in this one.
-Draw a cool design on your driveway and lay by it. Have someone take the picture from above you.
-Recreate poses that have already been done. Look to America's Next Top Model girls, Tyra Banks, Jeffree Star, Jac Vanek, Audrey Kitching, Hannah Beth, ect for inspiration of cool poses.
-Smile. No one seems to do it anymore

[view]

theres this girl that i think i like but never talked to and i want to get to know her better but dont know how to talk to her like i need advice how to become a conversation starter. I'm not very good at thinking of stuff on he top of my head. HELP!!!

The best converstation started has one word - "Hello" Just going up to her and saying hi and asking how her day is, is a great effort. Ask open ended questions for her to answer so she ends up doing most of the talking. Give her one or two genuine compliments. Most importantly, remember to be yourself!

[view]

hey! i was just wondering, is there a band t-shirt for "the rocket summer" ? i never see band t's for them..and also,where can i get them (besides hottopic?) thanks!

I'm now obsessed with The Rocket Summer haha. I can't wait til the new CD comes out.

http://westaspenmerch.com/p/?id=65
I don't know where you can buy them in a store, but this website has some nice ones.

[view]

What does a bamf look like? is it a moose?

BAMF stands for Bad Ass Mother Fucker(s). It is not a moose. Unless there is another bamf I've never heard of.

[view]

Well I am 14.
15 in March.
But anyways
I haven't had much fun,I know its sad but I am 14 and I haven't even made-out yet. And like every girl when they are like my age always have fun,right. Well I know this is like a hard question but how do I start having more fun. Like going to party's and all that stuff. Bcuz I am suck of being like being doing non-fun stuff.
you know what i mean.
can anyone like help me?

You don't need to make-out with someone to have fun. And at parties drinking and doing drugs isn't really fun either.

What I have the most fun doing is going to concerts. Singing along and dancing with friends is great. Also, you really loosen up.

If you want more friends so you get invited more places, just be yourself, and be confident! Confidence shows you aren't afraid to be who you are. People like that.

[view]

I am in Grade 12 now and will have to leave for another city in a few months. I'm in a very serious relation with my guy since an year. he's gonna be staying in our hometown after he's done with Grade 12. He doesn't want me to leave but it is very important for me to do so because I am lookin forward to become a fashion designer for which i have to be away for 4 years...I'm in a statew of dilemme because I dont know what to choose : My career or My love...!

Being a fashion designer is your dream. When opportunities come knocking you can't just let them go. If he really loves you, he'll realize that you need to do this. He'll let you go and trust you to come back to him. If he tries to prevent you from leaving, he doesn't really love you.

Once I read in a magazine that Tyra Banks's boyfriend tried to prevent her from going to Paris to become a model. When she told him she needed to go he broke up with her at once. Of course, she cried and cried, but it turned out for the better. She was a successful model and now has two television shows.

Follow your dreams. If you have the chance to make them come true, go for it. If he loves you, he'll let you go.

[view]

Hey! I hear this term a lot, but I never really understood what it meant. Anyways, let me get to the point:

what exactly does it mean to hook up with somebody???

Thanks :

Three meanings:

-to start going out, being boyfriend/girlfriend
-to make out with someone (most common meaning of hook up)
-to have sex with someone

Basically, different schools use different meanings.

[view]

hey
i have a bunch of cuts and stuff on my legs and arms. and some scars. and i want to get rid of them so when i go to the beach my legs and stuff look smooth or w.e. anything i can do to get rid of them. there not horrable but there not good.
thanks

I'm exactly like you. I'm a total spazz so I get hurt a lot.

That Mederma stuff is a lifesaver! It really works. I had a crazy scar on my foot and I put it on and the scar went away.

If the cuts are new just put a bandaid over them for the time being. Once they heal a bit then rub Mederma on them

[view]

Can you get AIDS by drinkin after somebody that has AIDS?
thanks :]

No. AIDs is not spread through salvia. The person who said that is wrong. AIDs is spread through blood contact (such as sharing needles) or through sexual fluid.

[view]

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
eXTReMe Tracker