HectorJr's advice column

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Q: what is this song it is a rock song and i noe girls sing ti and it goes, "why cant i breath when ever i think about you, y cant i speak whenever i talk about you..." can someone plz tell me hwo sings it and what it is called.. thanks

liz phair sings it - why cant i

Q: i met this guy and we've been dating for a lil over 2 years. i love him with all my heart and he means everything to me. i just want to let him know how i feel.

i love you hector =)

your bootylicious gf,
Meg

hmm maybe you should tell him. im sure he feels the same way.

i love you too =)

Q: My husband is often up until 2-3 in the morning using the internet. I am curious as to what he is looking at. It's usually video game message boards, but I have a feeling he is hiding something. I may be completely wrong, it's just a feeling. I tried reviewing the history, but it is set up to atomatically delete on our computer. Is there anywhere else I review the history. Or am I stepping over the line even trying to find out?

Umm, video game boards are filled from 2-3 in the morning...i think. Just ask him. If you still get suspicious, tell him that you are suspicious. Good luck.

Q: how do you put pictures on a myspace? thanks so much!

if you want to put pictures on your main page, use photobucket.com. then it'll guide u thru the steps on how to upload pictures, then copy n paste the link onto your info page and a picture shows up. good luck

Q: hi im 15 f and really shy. i want to get ajob but daren't ask people if there is any places. i no you might all think im weird but the reson im asking this question is bc my mom and the rest of my family want me 2 get a job
please help xxx

Try an easy and simple job that doesn't require too much communication. Try maybe a cashier at a market. All you have to do is say hi, say the price, say the change, and say bye. Good luck.

Q: ok so in 3 days i leave my dad u see him and my mom are divorced and well i visit him every summer now that the summer is almost over. well i am goin back to my mom. but i am a male so it is hard for me to say goodbye to him ever since i was little sain bye killed me but as i aged and got older it got harder. i pray to god to protect my dad so i may see him again. and i ask for me to be safe while taking the plane. and then i ask y does my heart hurt so much. now it is about 3 days till i leave here. and i am not ready to leave because at the age i am now 15 my heart needs my dad. my question is well what are some versus i can look into to help me with my heartache. and if u all would pray for me to have a safe trip and to be able to handle my heartache with passion and with out guilt cause i always feel like it is my fault. i am apodted and since i didn't know my real parents and my real dad the dad i have here is the closest thing i have and withouth him i am a lone or so it feels like
thny
monn

Try reading the book: A Child Called "It", By Dave Pelzer. It's part of a trilogy, and you might want to read the other two books as well. Hopefully you'll find the inspiration you might need. Good luck.

Q: Hey,

I really want to work(im 16 yrs old and a female), but my parents say that it will take away from my studying time and that im going to start getting bad grades. But i know that i can balance my time. I really want to work so that i can buy me things when i want and i could buy what i want. In this case its easier to convince my mom than my dad. But i really want to start workin. PLEASE give me ways to try to convince them.....i rate 5's for any answer.
Thanx

Start off by showing them that you are responsible. How so? Do all the chores in the house that need to be done. Make sure you actually do all of your work and not a half-ass job on it either, because you'll regret it. Don't nag them for the job anyway. If you really want to work, and the job itself doesn't matter, try asking for something very small and very easy that does not consume too much time. You don't want to start pulling late nights either. Tell them and also be willing to get all of your work and studying done before you work. Try to get things done, homework and house chores on time, or early if you can, so that they can both see that you have 'free time'. No, don't rush things too fast just to get it done either. I'm sure with a little bit more time they will let you have a job. Good luck!

Q: I have a really cute guy friend name"Brock Bumbarger" & we have been friends for 3 years now. We hang out all the tim, and go to the movies together!! Last august on my 15th b-day he kissed me, like making out wise & ever since then I have been confused. Everyone says we should just admit we like each other. I so want to tell him how i feel, but i am scared he might reject me & I would know what to do if he did. What should I do?

Go and tell him. Sit him down one on one and tell him. Tell him exactly what you wrote up there. Tell him that you didn't tell him earlier because you were afraid. It doesn't seem that theres a reason why he wouldn't accept that and tell you he likes you. Go for it and don't wait on it. Because if you let that chance go, you'll always be asking yourself the dreaded 'what if' question.

Q: im fourteen and going into the 9th grade. i dont think im ugly, not georgeous or anything, but not ugly. im not fat, but i could tone up a little. for some reason im always feeling insecure though. in school, i dont talk much in class && everyone says im really shy. now once i get to know people they'll tell you im the loudest person they know. i love to talk && gossip. but it takes me awhile to get to know people, i want to know how people act and what they like before i start talking about random things to avoid making them mad if they dont agree with me on something. well anyway, i just moved almost two years ago and i havent quite adjusted yet. ive made new friends but it seems people still see me as the new girl, and me being shy doesnt help at all. once in our developemental guidance class they asked my friend amy who she usually hangs out with, and she said me. than this kid matt says something about how we both never talk, than our friend kristen starts laughing and says we never shut up. i wish i could be more social with people i dont normally hang out with, and that way i could also make more friends. also, everyone thinks im a goody-good. which theres not anything wrong with, but im far from it and i dont want people to look at me like that. how can i learn to be comfortable around everyone?

The most obvious answer of course: be yourself. Say what you want without being worried what people will think, but make sure you wouldn't hurt anyones feelings - thats crucial. People will accept you for who you are if you let them. Have some confidence too, just don't be too cocky. If someone shuts you down, don't worry about it, don't let it get to you. But if it gets too much, then tone things down a bit. Good luck.

Q: hey! whats that song that says kick her out at 3:45 in the morning or something like that?! haha tHaNks!

leoslyrics.com is a good site too. look it up by lyrics

Q: 16/f Ever since I started highschool, things changed with friends. My friends were disloyal, saying things about me, and just hurt my feelings in every way they could think of.

I was very close with this one girl, Chelsea. She was my best friend, we did EVERYTHING together. We were like sisters. Well, something happened that I don't want to get into and she and I are no longer friends. Along with losing her as my friend, everyone that was friends with her and me at the time turned on me.

I do have FRIENDS, but I want to have close friends. I was always the kind of person that people could count on, a shoulder to cry on. Most people took advantage of that and I sort of turned into someone they could walk all over. I started becoming more asertive and I guess I started pushing people away. I'm litterly to the point where I have NO friends in my school.

I only have one best friend, Amanda but she doesn't go to the same school as me. And, I have my boyfriend. But he doesn't go to the same school as me either. And I think to myself, what if I end up losing both of them? I'll really have no one I can count on.

I just want to leave my school, go to a new school and start from scratch. Where no one knows me.

My question is, how do I get out there, and try to make friends? I want a friend that I can have sleepovers with, come to with my problems.. Someone I can really TRUST. And how do I change so that I'm not as asertive towards people?

Hey I know where you are comming from. Been there before. First and formost, do what I did: stop being assertive. Be respectful and helpful. Yes while people may still try to take advantage of you, as soon as you think they are, draw the line and say it to their face. If they aren't trying to and want to be your friend, they'll tell you that and apologize. As for being assertive, don't over do it either. You need to have a lot of confidence, so start with that. It takes time too, so don't think that if you don't have a trusting friend right away, you won't have one at all. Again, if someone says they are that trusting friend too soon, and you don't know that much about them, be a little cautious. You'll need to be a friend to have a friend. You want a friend that will listen to your problems, help you with your work, appreciate who you are...then you have to start by doing the same. Good luck!

Q: my sis broke up with her bf last night and she is 21 and im 13 and i dont know what to tell her to make her feel better i really want to help her cuz im sure she would help me if something like that happened to me please help me

Hmm try asking her do go somewhere or do something like see a movie or go to the mall. Shopping has always seemed to be a favorite of girls between the ages of 13-21. Something to get her mind off of it first. If that doesn't work, handwrite her a letter. Write your home phone number on the bottom and give it to her saying she can call you to talk anytime, maybe that will cheer her up. Remind her that anyone can come and go, but family is always there. Good luck with that.

Q: how do i Lose Weight Safely? dont be mean about it! i am 150 pounds and i am only 14.

help

sleep. sleep. and sleep. in that order. Look at it this way. This is probably the easiest way to start other than counting carbs or points or anything. True, diet and exercise are the best and safest way to lose weight, but also with that you need sleep. Your body needs food why? For energy, simple as that. If you don't get enough sleep, you dont replenish energy you used during the day, and your body is forced to find a different form of energy, which would be food. So yes, diet does not mean starve yourself, just eat healthy. Exercise doesn't mean over do it until it hurts; break a sweat and stick to easy long-distance running and biking. Sleep is the key, most people tend to miss that, and wonder why diet and exercise don't work. 8+ hours is what you should look for. Take it easy and good luck!

Q: well i really like thsi boy from camp and i kinda thinks he likes me cuz he smilea at me and stares at me but i'm still not sure but anyways the bad news is that camp is over but he migth go to the same camp again next year because he has been going to the same camp and same week for teh past 3 years and i hav his sn so i wanna tell him i like him but how this is where i am confused and dont kno how to tell him plz help

Hmm try not to get too many ideas from the stares and smiles. Did you talk to him when you were at the camp? Don't hope that it's something big, because it might not be, since it doesn't seem that you see each other during the rest of the year. I think you should tell him straight out. Tell him what you wrote: Hey I noticed you smile and blah blah blah, and I like you. Don't be afraid to either. Guys actually like that, when girls tell them that. If you can't tell him in person, tell him over the phone. Try not to do it through an e-mail or instant message. Show him you do mean it, and hopefully he'll return the favor. Good luck!

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Feel free to ask me any questions or for an alternate way of contacting me through my inbox.

I really like giving advice, so thats why I have a column here. I've been inactive for a long time, but I'm back and will do my best to catch up. Advicenators is a great site and it is what we make it. Having my own advice column helped me learn a lot of new things, even about myself, while giving me the chance to help others along the way. Thanks.