Three years of this guy is enough...too much. You KNOW he is a liar, cheater, and manipulator. He has disrespected you in many ways and used his relationship with his son to try to cover more lies and cheating. That is so wrong! He is not caring, sensitive and supportive in a real way. He has not been real with you. People who lie consistently and deceive, and use other people, are not really nice people. They are just acting nice to get what they want. There have been many psychotic killers that appeared nice and acted caring in order to get their victimes to trust them. There are polite bank robbers and otherwise "nice" guys that will sweet talk you while they take advantage of your trust! You are most likely wanting to believe that he is a good guy with a few faults, because the truth is painful. There is a saying..."No matter how far down a wrong path you have traveled, turn around!" You need to end this now and get away from this guy. He may be far worse than you know and lead you into serious trouble. Before you leave, take every sex-tape to the police department and tell them everything. This guy could turn on you, so you need to ask for a police escort to get your things and find a new living situation. I know this is very hard to hear and will require a lot of soul-searching, but you can find the strength to save yourself and you know deep down that is what you need to do.

You started using birth control (the combination pill?) about the beginning of your period and hopefully you took the first active pill of the first pack at that time. You should be fully protected from pregnancy, although 8% of women using the pill become pregnant in the first year from not using it properly, so make sure not to miss pills. If you have more questions call the doctor who prescribed them. The pill will not protect you from diseases, so insist that your partner use condoms every time! You can't hear your cherry "pop", it is just an expression for breaking the hymen. The hymen is just a little thin skin-like tissure that covers part of the vaginal opening, and many females break their hymen through sport activities and don't notice. Some women were born with very little hymen tissue to begin with and don't notice it breaking. You are feeling scared about pregnancy even though you are on birth control, because you are entering into a new phase of your life. Now you are sexually active, and that does put you into a new category of risks and responsibilites. Protect yourself from disease and get regular check-ups from your gynocologist or clinic physician. Just because you have consented to having sex with your boyfriend, does not mean that you have to do it everytime he wants to, if you don't feel like it. Be in charge of your body and sexuality. Don't do anything with anyone that you do not really want to do. You still have the right to set limits on your sexual activity, and you are the only one who owns your body.

You will not get regular periods if you are pregnant. Other signs of pregnancy besides missed periods are breast tenderness, adversion to certain foods, smells, drinks, and feeling nauseated. You can take a pregnancy test the day you miss your period, since hormones should be present if you are pregnant. If it is negative, take another test a few days later. My experience with pregnancy tests is that the cheapest ones work just as well, so get a couple cheap ones now. Free tests are available at Planned Parenthood Clinics and many Pro-life Free Clinics as well if you do not want to go to your regular physician. Pick whichever place you would feel most comfortable going.
Spotting during pregnancy can occur, but not always. Regular periods will not occur with normal pregnancy. If you are worried about pregnancy, than most likely you have had unprotected sex, and need to start regular visits to a doctor or medical facility of your choice for more information on protecting yourself from sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancy. I can't stress enough how important it is to use condoms. The pill and other methods to prevent pregnancy do not protect against diseases. If you are sexually active, you need to take steps to ensure that you will be a healthy woman who can make good choices for herself now while you have so many opportunities. Life is too short to waste stressing over or suffering from consequences that are completely avoidable with a little effort! You are worth the hassle!

Thankyou so much for taking the time to give me that message. This means more to me than all the ratings in the world!

Unlikely! I would be more concerned about the increased risk of sexually transmitted diseases that you would be exposed to. While two consenting adults are free to do what feels good and safe to both of them, it is hardly ever the case that a woman benefits in any way from allowing herself to be entered anally. The area around your anus is sensitive and can be erotic, but don't let this make you or your partner think that it will be an equally great experience for you to be entered there. Your female body is not designed for sex in this way, and it is most likely going to be painful and will cause small tearing and possibly bleeding, which opens you up for easy disease transference. The HPV virus that can lead to cervical cancer in women has also now been linked to anal cancer in those that pass the common HPV (genital warts) virus by having anal sex. There are many studies on the web that can provide you with more info. Here is one to copy and past in your browser:http://www.plwc.org/portal/site/PLWC/menuitem.6067beb2271039bcfd748f68ee37a01d/?vgnextoid=0bb6ea7105daa010VgnVCM100000ed730ad1RCRD&vgnextfmt=cancer
This site is from the American Society of Clinical Oncology for People Living With Cancer.

It is unlikely, but possible. This is because sperm take a while to travel to the egg and you could ovulate earlier than usual. Some women ovulate just a week after their period. If you are having a less than 28 day cycle, like having your period every 3 wks, which can happen from time to time or with some women all the time, you could ovulate within a few days of your period. Sperm are said to live about four days, but have been known to sometimes survive up to SEVEN days inside a woman's body. Don't count on sex during a period to be safe, for pregancy and especially not for STD's. You are actually at increased risk for std transmission when you are on your period. Always use protection, especially barrier-method...CONDOMS!

There are new studies out that some children with hyperactivity and learning problems do not have ADHD, but are mislabled. Some changes in sleep and nutrients can eliminate the need for medical treatment. You might talk to your mom and doctor about the following possibilities: 1. Omega-3 deficiency, which are healthy fats which help the brain with learing, memory, attention, and mood. You can eat a lot of salmon or go to your local health store to find supplements or go to VitaminLife.com. 2. Artificail Sweeteners can disrupt behavior and impair brain cell function. They mess up the nervous system and can cause inattentiveness and headaches, too. Avoid aspartame, sucralose and acesultame-K, as well as dyes D & C Blue, D & C Yellow and D & C Red. 3. Enlarged tonsils can cause sleeping disorders and in turn cause poor menmory and hyperactivity! If you snore at night, you could have enlarged tonsils and could benefit from having them removed.
Okay, if none of those ADHD Imposters are the cause for you, then don't worry. Your doctor and mom will do everything they can to diagnose and treat you properly. Of course, you can still benefit from eating right and getting enough sleep, so do your part to take care of yourself. I don't know that IQ tests are valid in all cases, or that they are useful. There are hundreds of people with college degrees that forget to tie there shoes in the morning and lack real common sense. We all have some things that come easily to us and some things we are not so good at. Just do the best you can. Being labeled smart or even a genius does not guarentee that you will have a happy life. Try the classes out and if you do not do better in them, then try something else out. The important thing for all of us to remember, is that we define ourselves and how we live our own lives. No one else gets to do that for us. Choose to do your best and be happy no matter what!

Romantic love begins with attraction, and mutual attraction will validate those feelings. Two people find they cannot get enough of each other, until they do. Then, the fantasy fades away and the reality that this person they held in awe is just a flawed human after all. It is then that true love has an opportunity to develop or we choose to walk away. This phenomenon has more to do with who we are then who the other person is. Most people walk around waiting to fall into love or try to avoid getting caught in a love trap. Both are notions that love is something that exists and acts upon us. Both notions are false. These are attractions that come and go and change over time. Basically there are two choices in life. You can look for love all your life and hope someone will come along who wants to love you completely with no or little work on your part...good luck! Or, you can look for someone who you will deeply respect and can be friends with as well as be attracted to, and choose, yes, choose to love and accept love from that person. This is work, but all real, true, and good things, are the result of your free will in action! You know that you really love someone, when you see them at their worst, and still want the best for them, looking past the fact that at this moment they are not giving in the relationship but need to take. Of course a constant state of this unconditional love is not a healthy equal relationship and not to be strived for or settled for. At times however, we must be prepared to be on both ends of the give and take spectrum and the love we have will not change.

Why does this bother you? Have you been told not to be vain or that there is something morally wrong with wanting to look nice? That is ridiculous. Respecting yourself and taking care of yourself is about the inside and outside. How we look and treat ourself on the outside is representative of how we feel about ourselves on the inside. If you have judged others for caring about their outside, then it is no suprise you are feeling like a hypocrite now. What you need to do now is be humble, and realize that you did not know everything and that we cannot judge others for what they choose to do with their bodies and life. Your conflict and stress will dissolve when you readjust your perspective and open your heart. Part of growing up and older, is rethinking and broadening our perspective. When we are younger and less experienced we often take on opinions we learned from our parents or our limited resources, then we find that as we enter our own experiences that the small opinions we held are no longer true for us. Welcome the gift that you are lucky enough to receive from a skilled professional dentist and enjoy your smile! Let your new smile remind you not of past judgements and guilt, but of a new and growing you!

Everyone has disagreements and some fights are actually healthy. It is better to communicate than to hold everything in. The important thing to remember is that words can hurt and a cycle of useless strife that never comes to a peaceful conclusion is a lot of wasted effort and pain. When we fight in a hostile way, it is not just the other person who suffers, you suffer and others suffer. It causes the whole family stress. Sometimes stress is good, it motivates us to change or fix something. We just don't want to live in it daily! You and your sister are human, and both have strengths and weaknesses. It is hard for people to get along when they are living together, even people who love each other. Some fights you will both outgrow and laugh at when you are both older. It takes two people to fight, so do not blame or let others blame you entirely. You can only take responsibility for and change what you say and do. Others are responsible for there own reactions and feelings. If you are constantly arguing about the same things, then the problem is just not being solved. Look objectively at the problem and try to find a solution together that works for both of you or a compromise. Problems often have many solutions that are overlooked because we all just want our own way and refuse to get creative and put in the effort and set aside our pride. Think about what it must be like to be in each other's shoes and listen to one another. There are usually very hurt or misunderstood communications behind fighting. We all want the same basic things in life, so respect one another and find a way to talk to each other calmly and maturely. Write a list of everything you want and what you think the problem is, instead of fighting and bring it to your parents. They will appreciate the mature way you both calmly and quietly present the problems and they will be more likely to help you come up with solution ideas. You are a family, and a family is like a testing ground for how you will do in the world. We often take each other for granted when we are family, but this is not good. Love each other, because you never know how long you have together.

You need to pour your heart out, but in a safe way. I suggest writing down every single thing you are feeling and can think of to get it out of your system. This may take pages and pages, but the important thing is to get it out of you and onto paper. When you are done, take a deep breath and congratulate yourself. If you are able to, I want you to rip up or burn all those pages and think about how you are now released from holding onto them. Feelings are real, but amazingly tranformable. It is important to acknowledge your pain, frustration, anger, and anything else you find out as you write, but it is also important that you realize that you are still a whole person when you take those feelings and put them somewhere else. You may be left with the residue of being rejected, and may feel a little empty for a while. During this time, take the opportunity to rediscover who you are and how you have grown. You are stronger than you think, and you will move on to better things and opportunities, sooner than you think!

Why you don't want to end the pain and abuse that this guy is bringing into your life is beyond me. He will only give you more of the same and you will not be happy. This is a reality check, so open your eyes. He cheated on you, tried to get your permission first, and when you did not cave in, he went out and had sex with the girls anyway. I find it hard to believe that he did not ejaculate during sex and so should you! He could very well be the father of her baby and if he had sex without condoms, there is huge risk of STDS! Do you want his stds? Get out quick and don't look back! The facts are you can not be a sane person and trust him. Focusing on him and not your own happiness and worth is costing you your grades and education and that is a tragedy. He hurt you, and will again. He does not love you and he is using drugs etc. Why do you think that all you deserve in life is a guy like this? It is so sad that you have been selling yourself short, way short! I know what it is to be desperate to love and be loved, but you have to raise your standards, because this is not love and you will not have a chance at finding real love if you stay with him.

Can't you just block her? You could also report her to myspace and try to get her kicked out! This little bully needs to be put in her place, but the best thing to do is steer clear and ignore her as much as possible. She is looking for power and your reaction gives her power and attention. If she is violent, she should be reported to school and police authorities for sure. That has nothing to do with myspace, so at least report her bullying as far as the bruise. Have your friend block her, report her, steer clear and try to stay in a group of friends for protection. Good luck!

The best thing to use for all those sticky residue messes left by stickers/packaging is vegtable oil! No other oil works as well, so buy a little thing of the veggie oil and dab it on and scrub that gunk free!

It would be very cruel to keep stringing her along. You need to make a clean break. This will hurt her, but less then keeping her hopes up and wasting more of HER time. She will realize this later on. Rejection is always painful to the one being dumped. This is a fact of life and you need to accept it. It is doubtful that you will be friends for a while at least. She will not want to hang out and watch you date others and you won't want to watch her date guys. You need to tell her the truth in the kindest way possible, because it is the only respectful thing to do for both of you.

Don't wait around for him to please you or figure out you are bored. Some guys are not that perceptive or are just too selfish to care. Take charge of your sex life and do new things that you would like to try...yeah, you might have to risk him looking stupified for a moment, but he will most likely love the idea that you are taking the lead. It takes pressure off him, and men are all about performance, so tell him what he needs to do or try to please you and you will quickly have him jumping through hoops.

A way to a man's heart is his stomach! Make him a nice dinner or picnic lunch. This is a personal gift that shows you took time and know what he likes. He will appreciate that you did something simple and not too expensive or phony. Guys are practical and don't want flowers!

You are human, so your selfish feelings are natural. The only choice you have if you are not going to break up with your guy and go for this one, is to get over your posessiveness. Most humans if not all would enjoy having multiple partners to choose from, if there were no consequences, but there are real consequences, because the objects of our affection are real people who want the same respect we do.

It is a harmless crush, as long as you do not act on it. Most important to know is that it will quickly fade after graduation, when you begin dating more mature young men on your own level. Highschool is very limiting, like a little fish bowl compared to the world you are about to enter. Things feel more dramatic and intense in a smaller environment. You will laugh about this crush sooner than you think! I had a similar experience...so I do know what you are talking about.

Hopefully you are very young, so that this lesson will prevent you from years of anguish. We cannot give people enough time for them to change who they are. There are some people who open up a bit more over long periods of time, but basically you are either a person who is open or a person who is not. There are numerous reasons for this, but none of them matter. People who are not real talkative can still be great partners, wonderful listeners and often very non-judgemental. If you try to get them to open up they often react by clamming up more, so give them plenty of space. Men in general do not communicate as effectively, creatively, intelligently, personally, and with as much complexity as women naturally seem to be able to do at anytime and with anyone. There are always exceptions, but you will need to learn to understand that you don't need him to be as good a talker or as vulnerable as you need your gal pals to be. A man is able to say enough if you are able to slow down your talking and really listen to the few words he does say. Also, men are all about action. Read his actions, because they will speak the volumes that his mouth does not. In my experiences the guys who did come off as the smoothest talkers, and great communicators were not really saying any more than the other guys, they just liked to hear themselves talk! Enjoy your guy, and don't take his masculinity as a bad thing or too personally. Keep him!

"Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable. To say something you value deeply to another and to have him or her value it equally by listening to it carefully and apppreciatively is the most universal way of exchanging social interest or demonstrating affection." David Augsburger, CARING ENOUGH TO HEAR AND BE HEARD.


All sincere persons will be given thoughtful examination and reply. Please be specific about your situation as it applies to your question, the applicable information and facts necessary for me to properly assess your situation and give you the benefit of my knowledge and experience, which includes: experience/education with mentoring, relationship study, self help, spirituality, poetry, literature, philosophy, psychology, color theory, teaching, parenting, and debate that will be used to your advantage. I am concerned with offering an objective and realistic perspective more than ratings, because this will help YOU. Artificial sweetness is found in diet soda, not in my advice. If you feel that I did not understand your question or need more specifics to help, please let me know, but while all truth is subjective, questioners should be mature enough to hear answers not necessarily agreed with. If you are only looking for someone to tell you just what you want to hear, then you may not be ready for my advice. I believe in personal responsibility, self and other awareness and your power and ability to recreate and redirect your own life. All our misery and joy begins and ends within ourselves, but our willingness to be open can bring the positive or negative energy we seek. If you or someone you know is open to positive help, the resources and caring individuals needed are available now.

http://www.coolnurse.com/

http://www.4woman.gov/violence/

http://www.childhelpusa.org/about/programs-and-services/childhelp-national-child-abuse-hotline-1-800-4-a-child

drug/alcohol abuse help go here: http://www.4drugabuse.com/addiction-treatment.html

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/1800-273-TALK(8255)
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a 24-hour, toll-free suicide prevention service available to anyone in suicidal crisis. If you need help, please dial 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You will be routed to the closest possible crisis center in your area. With over 120 crisis centers across the country, our mission is to provide immediate assistance to anyone seeking mental health services. Call for yourself, or someone you care about. Your call is free and confidential. -----------------------------------

http://www.kidscrisis.com/

http://www.teenadviceonline.org/gethelp/numbers.html

You can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline, operated by RAINN, 24 hours a day, free & confidential. 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

For info. on birth control etc.
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

The Girls and Boys Town National Hotline is the only hotline that children and parents can call with any problem at any time:
Open 24-hours a day, every day at 1-800-448-3000

Spanish-speaking counselors available; translation services for 100+ languages

TTY line available for the hearing-impaired at 1-800-448-1833

Counselors can help find services and agencies in the callers' local community

Help at the End of the Line
Callers talk to highly-trained, professional counselors who listen and give "right now" answers. They're sympathetic people who have expertise dealing with these and other problems:

depression

suicide

running away

parenting problems

relationship concerns

physical, sexual, and emotional abuse

chemical dependency

mental health

anger

aggressive behavior

Toll Free
Operated by Father Flanagan's Boys' Home, hotline services are free of charge to every parent and child in all 50 states, the District of Columbia, U.S. territories, and Canada.

Toll-Free: 1-800-448-3000

http://www.sex-ed101.org/links.html

http://www.anorexicweb.com/anorexicweb.html

Report Child Abuse
Childhelp USA National Child Abuse Hotline
1-800-4-A-CHILD TDD: 1-800-2-A-CHILD



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All our motivations stem from two: Love or Fear. When in turmoil or indecision, ask yourself from which of these you are acting. If you want an honest response outside of yourself, you need to first be honest within yourself. Bless you on your journey!

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