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8 Month Relationship Split
Hey,
Right, so I had been going out with my girlfriend for 8 months and recently I told her that I needed some space and I was'nt sure if I loved her any more. She still really loves me and wants to get back together but I don't know what to do. If we do get back together and it doesn't work out she will just keep getting hurt which is not something I want.
I really like her as a friend but honestly don't know if I feel anuthing more than than for her any more.
Any advice is more than welcome,
Thanks in advance.
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Just tell her time is what you need, you do however want to keep her close as a friend but you dont think you want to keep a relationship with that much value or whatever. Im sure you've had your heart broken before just remember what that felt like so be sympathetic but dont just let her dangle by a thread. That wouldn't be nice, dont mess with her emotions but understanding and caring. You gotta be clean, and blunt about how you feel yes she'll have a hard time understanding thats its really over but she also needs to understand that you need your time, space, and other things to do. You do have a life to work on, and your life doesnt involve a gf.. she'll understand. I wouldnt go about using the words i did cuz i would think that if u used all my exact words the relationship afterwords wouldnt be so good.. but you can just use the jist of it.
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It would be very cruel to keep stringing her along. You need to make a clean break. This will hurt her, but less then keeping her hopes up and wasting more of HER time. She will realize this later on. Rejection is always painful to the one being dumped. This is a fact of life and you need to accept it. It is doubtful that you will be friends for a while at least. She will not want to hang out and watch you date others and you won't want to watch her date guys. You need to tell her the truth in the kindest way possible, because it is the only respectful thing to do for both of you.
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The worst thing you can ever do to someone who loves you is lead them on. I know you don't want to hurt her, but if you lead her to believe there might be a chance of things working out in the future, she will just hope and pray and pine away for you. Cut the cord so she can get on with her life.
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Well first off, how did this feeling come along? When did you feel like you didn't care about her anymore. Most relationships end because you lose interst in the person your with and get with someone else. My advice, wrong move... Never EVER dump the one you love for the one you like. If another person is not the reason why your feelings changed then you need to consider YOUR feelings, not hers. Obviously you didn't want to hurt her, and that is good. And since you are having second thoughts it is best to give yourself some time to think things through. It is hard sometimes to determine what you want in a relationship and giving yourself a chance to look at the relationship and what you want, without being in one is a good move on your part. I've been through this before as well.
I've been the one dumped and the dumpee so I know how it feels on both ends. My bf of 4 months at the time dumped me because he wasn't sure how he felt about us. But the real reason was for another girl. I tried to move on, but I still cared so much for him, despite what he did. One week later he called me out of the blue and we met up to talk. He told me he was so stupid for doing what he did, and he didn't want to be without me. He broke up with me because he wasn't sure we were going to work out and wanted to see if he cared. Dumping me for the other girl, almost made us never talk again. That was a bad move on his part, and he was lucky he ever got me back. Now I dumped him 4 months after getting back together because I wasn't sure I cared about him and that we were going to last in the future. I held out for almost a month and a half, but we still talked most of the time. I just needed time to think. And I didn't dump him for another guy because I know how that works. I realized I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't see how things would turn out. So we got back together and things have been great ever since.
So what you need to do is give yourself time to figure out whether or not you can see yourself with her in the future. Think about whether or not you will be jealous seeing her with another guy. You know she cares about you, but do not expect her to wait around for you til you figure out what you want. That would be selfish on your part. If you feel she is not what you want, then decide if staying friends is a good idea for you and her. Just be considerate of her feelings, and think things through, because you do not want to beat yourself up about not being with her in the future. Best of luck, and if you ever need anymore advice, note my inbox. I'd love to help.
~Sherah
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