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my bf isnt opening up to me
When my relationship with my bf first began he didn't open up to me that much. But I thought it was because our relationship had just started and I needed to give him some time. It has been 2 months now and he still doesn't open up to me. He's so cute and he's really nice, i don't want to have to let him go. I want to know how I can get him to open up more. What should I say? What should I do? Help please.
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Most guys just don't open up well. I have been married 7 1/2 years to a man I have known for 13 years now, almost half my life. We started therapy last June. It was only then that he really started to be more open with me. Still not as open as I would like, but I can't really expect too much. Guys just aren't wired that way. Most guys don't think like girls do. They think they are being open, but to us it doesn't seem like it. If it is an important thing you need him to open up about, talk to him specifically about that. Otherwise, give him space when he needs it and be available for when he does want to talk. You can also tell him what you think being open is and then, talking pleasantly with him, you can come to a compromise so that he won't feel uncomfortable or like you are demanding to much out of him and you will feel like he is being more open. But don't expect him to open up about everything. Besides, do you really want to know everything about any guy? There are some things I learned from having guy friends that I would just rather not have known :)
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my boyfriend & i have been together for about 14 months & he still doesn't open up to me very often.
its just a guy thing & maybe he's not that comfortable around you yet, you guys have been together for only two months, which too me, isn't that long.
just give it a while, he'll eventually notice that you are someone he can open up to.
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2 months isn't a very long time if you think about it. I mean you guys are still trying to get to know each other a lot better and he's just the type of person who takes things slow. If you open up to him more he will realize that it's fine. Have you ever tried talking to him about this, or no? Just be patient with him. You don't want to rush him into opening up more. It could ruin things.
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Hopefully you are very young, so that this lesson will prevent you from years of anguish. We cannot give people enough time for them to change who they are. There are some people who open up a bit more over long periods of time, but basically you are either a person who is open or a person who is not. There are numerous reasons for this, but none of them matter. People who are not real talkative can still be great partners, wonderful listeners and often very non-judgemental. If you try to get them to open up they often react by clamming up more, so give them plenty of space. Men in general do not communicate as effectively, creatively, intelligently, personally, and with as much complexity as women naturally seem to be able to do at anytime and with anyone. There are always exceptions, but you will need to learn to understand that you don't need him to be as good a talker or as vulnerable as you need your gal pals to be. A man is able to say enough if you are able to slow down your talking and really listen to the few words he does say. Also, men are all about action. Read his actions, because they will speak the volumes that his mouth does not. In my experiences the guys who did come off as the smoothest talkers, and great communicators were not really saying any more than the other guys, they just liked to hear themselves talk! Enjoy your guy, and don't take his masculinity as a bad thing or too personally. Keep him!
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