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Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.
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The Question
i was in love once. with my ex bf of over a year. we broke up cause i found out he cheated on me. well its been 4 months since we broke up. and every bf ive had i compare to him and i cant let him go. we were SO close and i was so comfortable around him. well weve been hanging out lately. and i still get butterflies so much and i love being around him. we were at my house last night and he started holding my hand. and we just talked about how things used to be with us and all our little inside jokes and stuff. i dont know how to tell him i want him back. cause i do. and i know i shouldnt but everyone makes mistakes and i really love him. and my parents love him..and his parents love me..its just perfect..help..what do i tell him without sounding all weird??
The Answer
This is kinda hard to answer cause what I want to say is "Are you kidding? He cheated on you!!"
1.) If you really want this guy back please remember the bad times as well as the good.
2.) If you do want him back, and please please please think hard on that one first. Men aren't complete idiots, he probably already knows since you've been hanging out and talking about the good times.
Don't just let it happen though, talk about the cheating and talk about your pain and fear. This guy should know just how totally unaceptable that is, even if you still love him. Don't just let him back into you life without protecting yourself a bit.
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The Question
I've known my best guy friend for 3 years, since 5th grade,and him and i are really "close" and at times can get really touchy, but we've never kiss, or anything like that, he acts like he likes me,and wants to ask me me out but can't,so trys to give me hints and ask's me interesting questions like" are you afraid of a boy kissing you?"or" how many guys have you made out with?" and all of our mutual friends say that one of us should ask the other out and w/e, but then about 2-3 weeks ago he asked me if him and this other girl would make a good couple and if he should ask her out, all i could say was ".. do you like her?"(dumb question i know all i could think of in the moment) and he said yes. and that was that.. and i guess i have to just deal, but as the years go on i like him more and more, and i love him to death*as a brother,nd mabe a lil more* , in the end of it all i really just want him to be happy(i know it sounds cheesy)but when ever he's around me his hands are always somwhere on me, and his tickle me constantly, and i loved that! but now he has a girl friend,somone who i used to be friends with, and i know its not real nice/proper or me or him to continue to act like that, im just really confused about his feelings for me and ever since he went out with her, he's stoped talking to me. and it really hurts..
-Hurt and confused-
The Answer
I'm sorry but it sounds like the guy has made his choice. He stoped talking to you because he knew the way he delt with you (all the closeness and touching) wasn't right if he has a girlfriend and you knew it too.
He is trying to do the best thing by not stringing you along. For now call him up and say you miss his friendship and know that you can't be all physical and flirting but still wanna hang out with him. Accept his relationship and get close with other guys too, you never know what you might find.
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The Question
my boyfriend of a few months says that whenever he tries to get 'close' to me... i back away, or .. idk, i just seem like i dont want to. Ill admit that i do that sometimes.. and i have no idea why.. hes so amazing and i dont want him to think i dont appreciate and like him because of my insecurities or whatever's wrong with me... i need advice on how to fix the way i do things... and not be so unafectionate.. thanks
The Answer
There is probably nothing wrong with you, you just don't want affection the same as he does. So ask yourself, is there a reason I'm backing away? Is there something I don't like about the way he is asking for affection?
Maybe you don't this making out in public is aceptable and he does, maybe you are afriad of what people think about being affectionate towards him or maybe you just find your friends or classes more interesting then him some of the time. All of that would be okay.
Don't just suck it up and be more afectionate because he wants you too. Decide what you think is the appropraite level and talk to your boy about your feelings, he'll probably be jumping up and down happy to help you feel more comfortable.
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The Question
Ever since I was a baby, my face has always been chubby, even though the rest of me isn't. Not that Nicole Richie had a fat face before, but I've noticed her face has become a lot slimmer after she lost all of that weight. So i was wondering, how much weight would i need to lose for my face to be noticebly slimmer as well? (I'm 16, 5'6", and 125 lbs)
The Answer
Please don't try to loose weight. You are a very healthy weight for your hieght and age and probably look very good. (And chances are, as you are already rather light, loosing weight wouldn't change your face much)
Your best best is too drink more water and play around with your makeup (Take another look at Nicole and you'll also notice a huge difference in the blending on her checks and around her eyes as well)
Good Luck!
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The Question
Hi, I am a 14 year old girl, I'm not over weight or anything, I just want to know if I workout no-stop before school, will my boobs reduce thier size? Like Push ups, and running?
The Answer
Your breasts will change if you work out and loose weight, just the way they will change if you gain wieght.
It sorta depends on you, if you are already trim and are building up the muscles in your chest and shoulders they will probably look a bit bigger.
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The Question
can my girlfriend and I rent a hotel room overnight and we're only 16? like do they check your age and parent permission and stuff or can you just rent a room and they dont care? thanks
The Answer
If you have a credit card and drivers licence you might be able to manage it but expect to be turned away. The Hotel might find themselves in legal trouble for giving you a room without your parents permission.
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The Question
Can anybody (please!) explain to me the term(s) "equity singer" or "equity dancer" or "equity actor". I came across the term when I was looking through auditions/casting calls, and I'm really not sure what it means! Thanks in advance!
The Answer
Equity is the name of the actors, dancers, and stagemanagers union. More predominate in theatre than film, many shows, in order to be 'union shows' must hire a certain ammount of union members and can only hire a very few non-union members (sometimes none at all). Since you had to ask, you are not a member of Equity, and can not be hired at an audition for Equity preformers. You need to stick to open auditions for the time being.
Good Luck, and if you need anymore help drop me a question.
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The Question
well i am a 13/f and like sometimes when im in bed at night or whatever i have these fantasies of my friends and/or enemys getting naked and touching eachothers boobs..is this normal?
The Answer
Totaly fine. Even if you're not actually atrracted to girls. You are still fine. Our minds wander in wierd ways, especailly when we are thinking about sex.
Enjoy your fantasies, most people do.
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The Question
My friend is Really weird..hes such a good guy..like he so sweet and caring and not to mention very good looking but he when i chill with him with my two other best friends he ignores me like im not even there and he flirts with them all the time, and like a week ago he called both of them to go on a boat but not me and he knows that the three of us are always together..but like the other day we were in the pool and it was the first day he actually payed attention to me and he told me to call him the next day but then he goes and hangs up and says hes gonna chill but doesnt pick up his fone or igonores our cals and everything. Also he goes and talks about one of my friends nd then hes the biggest flirt to her and ti makes no sense..what do u think about this guy?
The Answer
Relax. Let it go.
They guy couldn't have been that interested. Or maybe he is just a jerk. Or maybe he is just helplessly in love with you and afriad to say anything.
You really don't know, and he is clearly not worth your stressing.
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The Question
So theres this guy... he lives down the street from me. We're basically good for each other, I hear that a lot. He's a football player, I'm on the dance team, we always do the same things accidently, he's cute, I'm cute lol jk. Anyways he's come over a few nights, snuck out on a couple of them and we've kissed and cuddled and I loved it. We've never gone farther than that because I'm scared of getting attatched and hurt. He knows I like him, but I'm not sure he's feels the same. I don't want to be used.. It has happened too much to me (my boobs are big... naturally! and guys like them.. but i hate em). Once I start trusting him, it seems like he kind of pulls away. Ive talked to him about it but he never really says exactly he likes me or he doesnt. I think which him being popular he doesnt want to be a really sweet guy or anything around his friends.. I understand that though. It's fine. But it seems like he's only "with me" when it's good for him. When he's at a party with me or when he's at his house and calls me. But if I want to hang out.. its a bit different. He's not as into me as I'm into him. But I dont want to be into him. I dont want to get hurt :( I'm a hopeless romantic tho. If he did something sweet to show that he really liked me, i'd be his, no questions asked. I'm confused! please help
The Answer
If he only wants to see you when it is good for him then he is probably just using you for affection and maybe hoping for more.
If you can deal with that by all means keep cuddling him. But give up hoping for more, he isn't a romantic (Very few highschool jocks are in my experience). This is not a relationship were you will get the fufilment you want.
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The Question
i am going to defer enrollment to College for one year in order to train for tennis and hopefully get a scholarship. Has anyone taken a year off after high school, and if so, do you have any suggestions as to how I could continue studying (community college, etc...) I have already been accepted to a University (Drexel) and also accepted for my deferral request. Also, if I want to apply to other universities can I still do so? Does deferring hurt my chances of acceptance? Thanks!
The Answer
Talk to your guidance councelor at school. Even if you have graduated and go back in september and talk to them. They'll have a much better idea how certain schools you may be interested in work.
The defferal shouldn't hurt you at all. You can be accepted to more than one college or university before choosing which one to actually go to normally. Why would a defferal be different?
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The Question
Same poster as "Sordid Love Polygon."
I'm eighteen years old, female, and I was unpopular at my high school. Somehow, however, I ended up being friends with a lot of the football players. I got really close to one of them, Alan; he ended up becoming one of my best friends. He's the perfect man in every way--smart, funny, cute, nice--except that he's OBBSESSED with SEX.
Alan has a girlfriend, Bella. She's a nice girl, and I like her as a friend, but the two are toxic to one another. When they have problems, it's like all the life gets sucked out of him. They're really harmful to each other.
Even when they break up, he always has other girls in line... (Naomi, for example). He's got a reputation for being able to get anyone to sleep with him... sex is a huge part of his life.
Now that I've graduated, I find that I'm... in love with him. I think about him every day... When I’m not thinking about him, I’m thinking about these two characters from this game I like who are just like him and me. I really care about him... and I think he knows it, since I kissed him once. But he has a girlfriend. Even if he didn’t, I’m waiting until marriage to have sex, and I'm afraid he would convince me to do something I don't want to.
I know I can't be with Alan. I don't want to damage my friendship with him or Bella, and I know he’s not right for me. But I don't know what to do. These feelings I have for him are making it hard for me to deal with other guys, and just thinking about not seeing him every day in school is killing me. I guess what I want to know is, how do I get over a guy who doesn't like me anyway?
The Answer
Time. I know it sounds annoying but it will go away with time. You've accepted this guy is a good match for you and doesn't share your values at all. Don't rush and try and deal with other guys, take your time. Eventually you'll wake up and think "Alan who?".
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The Question
ok..last year I went out with a guy for like 2 months. I was in love! Really..I was...the whole year we went off and on. Like...sometimes he liked me I liked him. Then he ended up moving. At first I really could care less because he treated me like crap. And now..I`m crying so hard. I miss him so much, I would do anything for our relationship to work. I really love this guy. Help.13/f
The Answer
You are mourning a "whatif"
Like whatif you two worked out all your problems and fell madly in love and got marriend and had three kids and a dog and cat and cottage...
Yuck. Stop doing this to yourself. You said he didn't treat you well. That wasn't going to change, and there were obviously reasons that it didn't work out.
Cry it out and move on.
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The Question
I need MAJ0R help. Okay, I just recently have a guy friend named Josh. Josh is not cute - AT ALL but, you know hes SUPER nice & sweet. So I talk to him online a lot. He started off being friendly, then gave me like an HOURS worth of compliments, "youre so amazing and gorgeous" ETC..and I was flattered but thought he was just being friendly. Then he goes will you go out with me? so of course i start freaking out and being like, no i dont want a bf sorry etc. and he goes YOU JUST GOT PUNKd!! So I laughed it off. Then tonight I was saying how I want a bf so badly and he again goes will you go out with me? And Then i told him i just wanted to be friends, and he said this and I quote. "that is because you want us to be just friends, you could decide that you want us to be more than friends" I dont know what to do!! Hes NOT taking a hint at all! I dont want to break his heart but were strictly friends ! I like someone esle a LOT. What do i do??
The Answer
Be more forceful. Don't tip toe around his feelings or you might have a serious problem with him. Make it very clear:
"We are just friends. I don't want to be anything more then friends with you ever."
It might seem a little mean, and he'll probably be a little hurt but it is better then letting him believe something that is never going to happen.
You wont break his heart. His heart hasn't even entered into yet. He'll move on. You should too.
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The Question
I'm thinking of giving my boyfriend head, and I want to know how to do it.. And also, is it normal to use a condom? I know that some people do, to avoid STDs and everything, but do a lot of people use it..? And what STDs can be contracted from it, if he cums?
Thanks =)
The Answer
It is possible to get a few STDS from giving head, you can get warts in your mouth or even contract aids if you have any cuts in your mouth.
Having said that, having a guy cum in your mouth is waaaaaaaay less risky then having him inside you. The risks are pretty minimal.
I know you can use a condom, frankly I hate the taste. But there is no reason you can't if you want too.
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The Question
I am totally in love with my boyfriend. I want to be with him all the time, and usually we hang out on a daily basis. The thing is, I also want to hang out with my three really close friends. I think they are starting to get mad at me because I'm starting to hang out with him more than them. I want to be with them all, and it's awkward when all of us hang out together.. What should I do..? PS- please don't tell me to "balance it out" or anything, I've tried it, and everyone just gets mad!
The Answer
Balance it out.
Seriously, yes, both friends and boyfriend are going to be a little mad at first but they all have to get used to the new arrangement. Neither of them 'own' you, you need to have space in your life for all of them in order to be happy and your happiness should be important to them right!
I know what I do when I hang out with my boyfriend and my friends is have some rules (ie I will not sit on boyfriends lap while with other friends cause I'm my own person and I'm there to be with everyone, not just him.) It makes it less wierd.
This is something you have to learn how to manage in your life. Good Luck!
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The Question
I was just wondering what to say to my boyfriend he is 18, to compliment him. Without making him feel weird. Like he always says im beautiful and things like that, but I always wonder how I can make him feel as special as he makes me feel but without making him feel like less of a man or somthing like that...any idea? thank you
The Answer
Give honest compliments. Even silly things (I like the way you crack your knuckles or whatever) Don't be too worried about giving him compliments that would 'make him feel less like a man' Does a man not like knowing he is apperciated!
(just don't give them in public if you are worried)
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The Question
Does any one know if the program, Ares, is illegal? Thanks
The Answer
Peer to Peer sharing programs are not yet illegal! (as far as I know.)
Lots of people want to be but they aren't yet.
Printers aren't illegal just cause you could print fake money. and P2P programs aren't illegal just because you could share music or software illegally. However if you do share stuff that is copy written (or print fake money) that is illegal!
They just haven't figured out what to do about it yet.
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The Question
ok so the question is the subject pretty much. My best guy friend likes someone but he won't tell me who. he gives me clues and they sound like me. can u help? thanks in advance. the clues are:
-Its someone in austin ( he lives in kerville)
-Its someone in are grade and goes to ur school
then he was like im not sure if i like them though then he said this:
-I no deep down in my heart that i like her b/c a guy use to like her and she liked him and i got jealous. one of his friends liked me and i liked him but it didnt work out.
-Its someone who youse to like me a long time ago (i use to like him and he new it b/c i told him)
The Answer
So do you like him?
Cause if you do, now would probably be the time to say so.
Stop playing around with guessing games! One of you has to take the plunge and just say what ya mean!
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The Question
ok. well im really truthful about my feelings toward my girl friend but only when we are alone or in a moment. well anyways she doesnt show her feelings to me. It's only once and a rare while that she says something and I mean that is very rare. Does this mean that she's not feeling the same way about me as I am for her? Does she like to keep her feelings secret from me because she's afraid how I'll react
PS im 14/f
The Answer
Some people play thier cards close to thier chest, sometimes it's cause they are afriad of being judged or hurt, or sometimes its just the way they are used to acting.
Unless you talk to her you can't know for sure why she is holding back. She might just not be as comfortable verbalizing her feelings. Relax and ask her why she thinks she is that way.
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