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Boyfriend and friends
I am totally in love with my boyfriend. I want to be with him all the time, and usually we hang out on a daily basis. The thing is, I also want to hang out with my three really close friends. I think they are starting to get mad at me because I'm starting to hang out with him more than them. I want to be with them all, and it's awkward when all of us hang out together.. What should I do..? PS- please don't tell me to "balance it out" or anything, I've tried it, and everyone just gets mad!
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Hmm..this is one sticky situation..Perhaps you can plan stuff like going to see a movie or something with your 3 close friends on the weekend and then spend the week with your boyfriend. Or maybe you can just take some time off of your boyfriend. Sure he may get mad but he has to understand that you have other friends than him. If he doesn't like it, get rid of him! I mean I'm sure he has a social life outside of spending time with you. Why can't you do the same??
X_Amanda_X
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Ok, you're boyfriend needs you but so do your friends. Plan nights to hang out with your boyfriend, and let your friends no so that you can make sure it's ok with them [that specific night] and like on friday night, you and your boyfriend could go see a movie, and then on sunday you and your friends could go to the mall, and their boyfriends and your boyfriend could go to, because double dates [quatripple] work!
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talk tp your friends about your boyfriend is your boyfriend, and you should spend time with him. after all, you already know your friends inside out. but when you don't feel like seeing your boyfriend or he can't hang out, don't hesitate to call your friends. and remember, you'll be on the other side of scenario when one of them gets a boyfriend.
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Usually once a girl gets a boyfriend he is who she'll hang out with most of the time. Doesn't mean you can't still hang around with the rest of the gang it will just naturally be less time.
Go out with them some afternoon shopping or something and have a girls day out now and then. They will do the same thing when they find that special someone! :)
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I'm sorry to say this but you DO need to "balance it out". Are you SURE you're balancing it out? Maybe you think you are, but really you're not. You have been hanging out with your friends on days AND you've been going out on dates with your boyfriend on other days? Not just hanging out with your friends at school and spending all out of school hours with your boyfriend?
You need to get your priorities straight. For example: If it's a movie night with your friends and it's your boyfriend's anniversary...what's more important? I'd say the anniversary. If your boyfriend just wants to go out and your friends want to go to a one time concert what's more important? I'd say the concert. Because once you get the "important" or once in a while things out of the way those people won't be mad at you for blowing off something important. With events that aren't AS important you can always make them up later (And make sure that you do!). Your friends need to see this so you should explain that to them.
Whether it's "awkward" for all of you to hang out or not, you NEED to set up at least once in a while for a day with all of you. Why? Because if your friends and your boyfriend get to know each other better they'll understand why you want to "balance it out". Or even if they don't like each other they should at least see you care about both groups and it's very important to you. Plus if they end up becoming friends that's even better.
If you haven't noticed I suggested things you already cancelled out in your mind. The thing is...you CAN'T cancel things out. You MUST try them all if you want both relationships to succeed even if it will cause problems on the way. If you don't try you might as well give up. I speak from experience; I really do. I have gone through this before and now both relationships (with my friends and with my boyfriend) are balanced and healthy.
If one group (Your boyfriend or your friends) is not willing to accept you have to balance both groups out, you need to drop them. It's hard. But think about it. If they want to hog you all for themselves...isn't that selfish? Are they even thinking about you at all? Whatever happens just realize it is a learning experience and everything is a TEST. It is a test to see which relationship is the strongest.
Good luck!
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wow everyone still gets mad? you must have a demanding bf and some demanding friends..you sure you cant like hang with your friends at the pool or go to the mall during the day then go hang out with your bf afterwards? you dont have to tell your bf your going to hang with your friends for the day and you will hang with him later..and you dont have to tell your friends that your hangin with your bf afterwards...this way it all works out.
hanging with your friends and your bf is important..its not good to exclude one of them..so i think you should try out my idea.
ive seen too many girls lose really good friends over a bf! dont let this happen to you because friends are really important.
so try mixing it up like that...maybe hang with your bf all day then at like 7 go to your friends sleepover..or switch it up and hang with your friends during the day and spend the evening with your bf
try it out and if it doesnt work inbox me and i'll see if i can help you out more
-melissa-
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That situation is really hard, I had a boyfriend that lived with me for a month and I don't think I saw my friends once in that time. You have to have either really understanding friends, or you have to be flexible. You may not want to hear it, but sometimes you really do have to balance out these things especially. If you spend too much time with your boyfriend, there is such thing as getting enough of each other, too much time together will spark arguments and fade the "magic" of longing and lust. It's up to you but it's usually very hard if not impossible to find a way to make time for both your boyfriend and regualar friends. If you can't find some way to balance it out, then you have a very difficult ultimatum to deal with. Hope I helped and good luck.
<3Angel
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Balance it out.
Seriously, yes, both friends and boyfriend are going to be a little mad at first but they all have to get used to the new arrangement. Neither of them 'own' you, you need to have space in your life for all of them in order to be happy and your happiness should be important to them right!
I know what I do when I hang out with my boyfriend and my friends is have some rules (ie I will not sit on boyfriends lap while with other friends cause I'm my own person and I'm there to be with everyone, not just him.) It makes it less wierd.
This is something you have to learn how to manage in your life. Good Luck!
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