Erinn_the_bamf's advice column

SoHo is a region in Manhattan. It stands for South of Hudson. They say watch your purse because it can be easily stolen. Really, whenever you're in a city you should watch your purse though.

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what does bow chicka bow wow mean?

is it bow chicka wow wow or what?

and how do you say it right?

and spell it?

Bow chicka bow wow is from an episode of Red vs. Blue. If you don't know what that is, it's based off of Halo. I only know this because everyone five seconds some of the guys I know are like BOW CHICKA BOW WOW.

Bom chick wah wah is from an Axe commercial.

They mean the same thing. It's something you yell at someone attractive or you say it after someone says something sexual.

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Hi
does anyone here watch that show called greek?/
if so whats it about?/ and is it any good?
thank you in advance

I watch it! You should've been in the Advicenators chat last night we were all talking about it.

Anyway the main character's name is Rusty. He goes to college and is a bit of a nerd. He then joins a fraternity to try and have what in his eyes a "real college experience" is. It's about him and his sister, Casey, an important girl in a sorority, and their ups and downs with relationships and their partying.

More info: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greek_%28TV_series%29

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hey people,
im a young male and im talkin about my girlfriend

i had just had my girlfriend break up with me a couple of days ago and it was really hard on me. I was the cause of the breakup because i wasn't being open enough to her and when she said "i feel like im neglecting you," and just said no and she asked if something was wrong and i said no. when we hung up i had decided that i needed to tell her what i felt so i messaged her and said honestly i do feel neglected and she got mad because i didnt talk to her on the phone when i had the chance. so she got mad and later said you no i'm mad at you and im fed up with your shit. so she had ended it and she said i just havent felt like we are close like we were at first. this all hurt me bad and she wouldn't talk to me because i wanted to talk to her and explain to her how i felt.
so the next day she ignored me and i couldnt talk to her and the next day i tried to get her off my mind but it didnt work so i went to my dad and brother to talk to them about it. i had listened to them and they had the same points.
so what i did was go to her house the next day with out her knowing and had a bunch of nice flowers. She had a smile on her face and didnt seem mad at me so i take that as being good?. i gave her the flowers and went into her room to talk to her. i told her that i really like her and i really care for her. i said you no every relationship has rough patches and you have to try to get through them instead of just quitting on the relationship. (she promised herself that she would never give a guy a second chance by the way.) i just asked her if she could promise me that she will think about a second chance while she was in colorado (this was later in the talk that i had asked her if she would think about a second chance). she said i will and i said the way u had ended it really hurt me alot and i just wanted her to think about the second chance for more than just one day. just please think about it because the idea of being without you really hurts because i care for you and i want to be there for you. she said she would think about it while she was there. the next thing i said was you know this is my first true relationship and im goin to make mistakes and i will admit when i do and im willing to try to work on that and i really want to be open with you and try to stop arguing about little things. just promise me you will think about the second chance and get back to me when you get back. i really care for you and we gave each other a huge hug and i told her in her ear that i really care for you and i said i need to go because i just wanted to say this and be on my way and not get in ur way. and oh yeah i told her the reasons why i felt why we were growing apart earlier. and i also said im not goin to beg or force you for the second chance and i wont talk to you or text you while you're up there so that gives you your freedom to think. then came the hug and leaving part. some of this wasn't in the right order but you get the idea. so can ya'll tell me if i did the right thing?

You did the right thing. You showed her you care. You went about it very maturely. I think she'll want to have you back. And if she doesn't? Well, then you're really better off without her because she can't see the great guy you are.

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Okay so my state (TN) has decided to mandate that every student K-12 get 90 minutes of excersize a week. Well they are using our homeroom time at my school to do just that. I think it is incredibly stupid because its not the school's responsibility to tell us what to do as far as excersizing goes. It is so damn retarded I can hardly stand it. I HATE coming to school now. OMG as if it wasnt bad enough LETS THROW IN SOME EXCERSIZE!!! Plus my homeroom teacher is strict with the rules, so if we dont do these excersizes every morning, she will write us up. I dont feel like I can talk to her because she wont understand. And I cant sit there and object while everyone else is doing it because that will draw negative attention to me. I get enough attention as it is for being fat. And thats not the reason I dont want to do the excersizes. It's just that 15 minutes is a long time for someone who is as heavy as I am and its embarassing to have my fat jiggle around for the whole freaking class to watch and laugh at. I would much prefer to excersize in PRIVACY where I dont have to worry about what I look like. High school is bad enough as it is. I think this is pure torture and I really want to refuse to do it. But I dont want to bring negative attention to myself. WHAT SHOULD I DO???? and what is your opinion on our new state law??

Personally, I agree with your state's new law. I may not be the biggest fan of gym class, but it's a good thing that they are doing this.

The obesity epidemic is not just impacting the quality of life among adults in our nation, but among children too. Approximately 25 to 30 percent of adult obesity cases begin with childhood (pediatric) obesity74. A history of being overweight in childhood that persists into adulthood is associated with more severe complications of obesity later in life75. According to U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) data, today about 15 percent of children and adolescents can be labeled as having childhood (pediatric) obesity in the U.S.76 The steadily increasing incidence of childhood (pediatric) obesity raises concern about the health of these youth as they approach adulthood."
(Information found at: http://www.obesityinamerica.org/childhoodoverweight.html)

As you can see from the paragraph above, at least 1/4, if not more, of people who struggle with obesity were obese as children. Therefore, by your state enforcing this new law, they will be cutting down on the amount of overweight adults.

Furthermore, whether you are overweight or not, excercise is extremely important. Studies have shown that excercise decreases stress levels in the human mind and realeases endorphins- working out causes a natural high!
(Want proof? Read this: http://www.fitness.gov/mentalhealth.htm)

Now, onto what you should do. Due to the fact this is a law, it would be illegal to try to get out of this without having some sort of medical problem. You may be embarrassed that your stomach jiggles when excercising, however, excercising will reduce this from happening. Stand towards the back of the room so no one can see you. And remember: the only reason people bring others down is because they are insecure with their own self.

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whats the most important thing when having sex

Two most important things.

1. Being ready and in love. You don't want regrets.

2. Protection. You also don't want a baby or an STD.

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does anybody have any tips on writing a good song?

Oh, lordy, do I have trouble with song writing myself... I must say it is quite hard.

Write what you know. As Camille and Jack both said below me, it makes the sound sound so much deeper if you really feel what you write.

As for writing melodies, what I tend to do is pick three chords and base the majority of the song off of that. You can use two extra chords in the chorus to make it more developed and change a few of the chords in the bridge.

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alright so i have my period and my boyfriend wants to have sex, and cum inside me what is the chances of pregnancy if we do this?

Anytime you have unprotected sex there is a chance of pregnancy. The sperm can live inside you for days. Please use protection.

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me and my friend want to go on Americas Got Talent!!,

and we need a really good song for a duet. Shes a soprano and im an alto,, we are 14 so nothing TOO inapprotiate,, and nothingg TOO classical, Thanks!

Anything by Meg and Dia!

Some of their songs:
Settin Up Sunday
Roses
Monster
Cardigan Weather

You can find more on Youtube.

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Does anyone know of some songs that are kinda sad, saying that youll miss your loved one bc they are leaving?..

my boyfriend is leaving for college friday, and Im not sure when he can first come home, and I just want a song to help say what I cant..

Setting Up Sunday- Meg and Dia
I Miss You- Blink 182
When You're Gone- Avril Lavigne

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I have two really great friends. Rachel and Megan. Rachel is like EXACTLY like me(we like the same stuff,same everything) and have the same "moral standings". But Megan is exact oppisite of me. She has pretty much no morals at all.
Well one day in Volley ball we had to choose partners and i automaticaly go for Rachel. And in Science, and History and Math i do the same thing. Idk why but i really don't ever pick Megan, and i feel horrible about it. I just don't like the way she goes about things. She is a bad student(gets C's and D's and sometimes F's) and Rachel and I are straight A's.
I don't know how to envolve Megan and idk if she is even like a friend to me.
How can i envolve her. And in your opion am i being a bad friend? I don't want to be that way anymore. HELP

I really don't think you're being a bad friend. Schoolwork is extremely important, and there is nothing wrong with trying to keep your grades high. However, you are right she may feel left out. Start hanging with her outside of school. Possibly pick as a partner in volleyball next time you can. Just because you don't want to include her in schoolwork doesn't mean you have to exclude her from everything else.

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I have not really been to many concerts, but I was wondering what would be appropriate to wear to Warped Tour.
What should I bring also?

Oh- it will be about 80 degrees.

Wear your Barbie clothes. All the cool kids do.

OK if you have a teeshirt that has the name of a band playing at Warped where that. If you don't wear some shirt from Delias. Because it's just indie enough to not be scene. Wear some jean shorts or capris.

Bring a camera so you can take pictures of The Rocket Summer, Coheed and Cambria, Paramore, Boys Like Girls, Cute is What We Aim For, Underoath, Meg and Dia, ect, ect, ect, for me.

I also recommend bringing about $10-20 to buy water. In the hot weather and crowds it's easy to get dehydrated so you'll need to buy water.

Also bring a cell phone.

And maybe me.

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for blue/gray eyes? what colors? and im going to buy my eyeshadow from MAC. also i wear my brown contacts, so what color eyeshadow should i wear to make the brown color pop!? =]

Blue/gray eyes: brown and blue

Brown: brown and pink

http://www.maccosmetics.com/templates/products/sp.tmpl?CATEGORY_ID=CATEGORY15103&PRODUCT_ID=PROD1503
I suggest this shadow. Basic, simple, and works well!

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My friend was telling me about how she got a Myspace Button at Warped Tour from her friend.

I was wondering if they cost money, and how much?

Well, you find them at the myspace tent If you were wondering.

And they're free!

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What are some good happy love songs? Like, not breakup songs.
Something like:
Hey There Delilah by plain white t's
stolen by dashboard confessional.
you know?

So Much Love In You- The Rocket Summer
First Time- Lifehouse
Bubbly- Colbie Cailliet
I'll Follow You Into the Dark- Death Cab for Cutie
I Want to Know Your Plans- Say Anything
MFEO- Jack's Mannequin
Finally- Fergie
We Intertwined- The Hush Sound

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Okay So yeah i know im at a risk for pregnancy.
Im 14 years old and I had sex with a condom on,he came in the condom,and that was that.
Then,he asked if we could do it for 3 seconds without the condom [ofcourse me not thinking,] i said yes.
And just what I thought would happen,it ended up being more than 3 seconds,it was maybe 1 minute or 30 seconds.
I gave him head before that so he was already half way done and he said he didnt cum in me,but i think some of it went in me and i saw some of it on the ground.
BUT i do have an advantage,I dont get my period every month.
I had gotten it about 2 and a half or 3 years ago and since then i only got it maybe 4 or 5 times.
So I dont think my menstrual cycle is normal ,So i was thinking on the bright side if I dont drop an egg ,it can't be fertilized right?
I could be wrong and I know there is a chance of me being pregnant,but is that an advantage at all?
Also,i read on this website that there are only 3-5 days a month that its most likely to get pregnant so thats also an advantage.
The reason I dont have my period is because im bulimic and i exercise veryyyy much.
please dont lecture me,but i need some help not someone to tell me ive made a mistake ,i realize that.

Anytime you have sex there is a chance of being pregnant. Espically if it's unprotected. The sperm can live inside of you for several days. Yes, if your egg hasn't dropped it can't be fertalized, but if I were you I would still take a pregnancy test. Wait about a month and then do so.

Since you realized you made a mistake, I will not lecture you about that. However, bullemia is a serious disease. I urge you to get help.

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my boyfriend has fingered me a few times, and every time he's washed his hands immediately before. also he told me that he hadnt masturbated since the previous day too (every time.) and he hasn't touched himself at all while he's fingering me. but my period is a week late.

i'm just thinking its stress, because i was stressed about it being late in the first place, but please reassure me that i can't be pregnant.
thanks

If your boyfriend wasn't lying, then you aren't pregnant. Relax; it's stress that's causing your period to be late.

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is hookah bad for you? I smoke it every week.

Smoking anything is bad. That includes hookah.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hookah

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If you are like 13 or 14, isn't it kind of hard to actually fall in love? It kind of gets me annoyed when my friends say like "i would die without ____" or something like that. Very rarely do people get married to the person they went out with when they were that age. Do you think guys at this age just go out with girls for sex and things like that? Or are there some guys who will wait till your older and feel ready and really love you?

It's quite rare to fall in true love at that age. Sure, you can fall in puppydog love, but generally, as you said, it does not last.

Not all guys are in it just for sex. There are still decent people in the world who know not to have sex at 13 or 14. However, once you get to highschool, it is slightly harder to find someone who isn't just in it for sex. Espically if you're the kind of person who is says "ZOMG LOLZ MY BFZ TOTALLYS HAS TO BE POPULAR!" because the majority of popular guys are in it for sex.

Don't get discouraged though, there are plenty of guys who will wait.

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I will make this as short as possible, because I know I hate rading long winded questions...

I kissed this one guy at a party, I'll call him John, while I was still seeing my boyfriend(of 11 months) whom I'll call Dean.

John and I have tried to be friends before, but it just doesn't work out. We always end up bantering but that always ends in arguements, but he's really smart and sweet at times and he challeges me. The thing is he always hits on me, people say he likes me, I say I'm a conquest.

So anyway... John came to my neighborhood, where my boyfriend and I live to see me after the party where we kissed. He ran into my boyfriend and told him we kissed before I got a chance to and my boyfriend broke up with me. He said he would have been able to forgive me if it was anybody else, but he hates John.

My parents invited John and his family over the next day for dinner, which was a Saturday. I found out and I pretended to be sick to get out of dinner so maybe I wouldn't have to see John, but my mother sent him up to my room with medicine and water. He figured out I wasn't really sick and we got into this fight because he said I was avoiding him and I yelled at him for telling my boyfriend, ex now, about the kiss, even though I practically begged him not to.

Then somehow, don't ask me how, fighting turned into a make-out session and we almost had sex. We probably would have if my mother hadn't sent up my brother to check on us. My brother walked in on us and yelled at John, he went back downstairs and an hour later his family left.

My boyfriend called me that night, said he forgave me, and we got back together. Then the next day at school John said he wanted to talk to me, he told me he loved me and that I was never a conquest to him. He said he wanted to be my boyfriend and that he was sorry for everything he'd ever done to me and said. I told him I got back together with my boyfriend and that I loved Dean. That was a lie, I don't love him. He said some really hurtful things to me. Mostly about me being scared and running away from my feelings and only staying with Dean because he is "safe"...

I am so confused, I should be happy. I'm back together with my boyfriend, but things aren't the same. I can't keep my mind off John, or the things we've done. I haven't slept with my boyfriend yet...but I almost did with John and I'm alright with that. Now my boyfriend is pushing for sex...and I just can't. And even though I didn't sleep with John, what we did it was amazing, and I don't regret it. Even though I know I should. It seems the spark is just gone from our relationship now. (Mine and my boyfriends)

What should I do? Should I just put my feelings aside and try to work out my relationship with Dean, or am I just staying with him because he's "safe" and someone I can trust? Do you think I am honestly just staying with him because If I take a chance with John then there's a chance I'll get hurt?

Wow...that wasn't short at all. Kudos to whoever reads through it and trys to help.

Signed,
Some other devoted columnist on this site

I think you know the answers to your question. You are staying with Dean because he's safe. You're avioding John because you can get hurt.

I think you know what you need to do. You don't love Dean. You know what you want. So do it.

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