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do some guys go out with you just for sex?
If you are like 13 or 14, isn't it kind of hard to actually fall in love? It kind of gets me annoyed when my friends say like "i would die without ____" or something like that. Very rarely do people get married to the person they went out with when they were that age. Do you think guys at this age just go out with girls for sex and things like that? Or are there some guys who will wait till your older and feel ready and really love you?
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Its not that guys are actively thinking about these things.
Quite the opposite. Theres more than likely no thought at all.
A hallmark of young teens today is the complete lack of forethought before engaging in adult behaviors. Guys arent thinking about dumping girls or being jerks our marrying someone. Theyre thinking about how to get laid, and thats as far as it goes.
Most guys dont have the forethought to lie about love either. At 14 love is shallow. Love is "this person is attractive, finds me attractive, and is willing to let me touch them and smiles at me"
Things become quite alot more complicated later on.
To be honest, most of the guys who will wait till later and really love you arent even focused on girls and getting laid. Theyre busy with other things, because there are things more important to them than social status and getting laid.
If your friends think they're in love, leave them with their thoughts. Just know for yourself that its pretty much all BS and they probably wont last more than a month into your freshman year in high school.
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I defiantly agree with your first few sentences. Im 15 and i also still havent been "in love" before. At this age we dont know what love is. I do think most guys just go out to do stuff with girls . And some guys try the old " well if you love me youll sleep with me" try well if your in love it wouldnt matter what youve done together. I think its so ridiculous how many kids are age claim to be in love. Its funny though because when there older there going to be in love and look back and be like " and i thought i was in love"
All guys obviously have in the back of there mind sex. whether they can wait till there older and really love you is the maturity.
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Hello. Sorry this is many hours after this question was posted- and everything has already been said; My mom took the computer away for a couple of hours =D.
I have to say that I agree with your first few sentences. People our age claim to love their boyfriend/girlfriend- but I don't think it could possibly be love at this point.
You're right in assuming that some, NOT ALL, guys do just go out with girls for the sexual reasons. Truth be told- some guys are actually genuine and will wait until they are older/married and feel that they actually love them before they just claim to love them 2 weeks into a relationship after they have sex.
Personally- I like to think of myself as the latter type of guy. When I am looking for a girlfriend- I don't automatically think, "Alright- how am I going to get into her pants?". First of all that's just rude and disgusting, and second- I'm really not a teenager with raging [sex] hormones [as I do lose my temper sometimes =X]. I think its a matter of the following, and it is different for each guy:
-Their body's chemistry. Do they have raging hormones? Well- if they do- then the only thing they'll think about is sex [sometimes- not always!]. If they don't- well then they are like me- they can control impulses, etc.
-Their morality. Are they saving themselves for marriage? If they really don't care about losing their virginity- then what is there to lose by giving it up? Nothing- they don't have morals that people like me have. I personally want to be pure and save myself for my wife when I'm older- and I probably won't marry someone who hasn't saved themselves- because I think it would be best to lose our virginities to each other. I think religion has a big part to do with this. I'm Catholic- and my religion doesn't support pre-marital sex. Even if it wasn't against my religion- I still would feel the need to save myself for my wife. I don't know- It might just be where our priorities lie.
So if you're feeling like you want a guy that DOESN'T want to get in your pants- then trust me- there are plenty of them out there- they're just hard to find =D.
--Jack
(15/m)
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Yeah, boys want sex at that age. Since the girls mature faster theyre getting boobs and boys just love that, so they want to get in theyre pants. Im just at the age you're talking about, and im a good girl... ;) I dont want to have sex untill i'm married and once I told sum guy this and he was astonished. He's like, "save self respect untill you're 30" Lots of girls this age just do what the boy wants because they want to make him happy, or they think the boy actually loves the girl as much as they love the boy. Rarely does that happen. Notice GIRLS are the ones who say, "ohh I love him so much I dunno wut I would do without him" Many boys dont think or talk like that. Pretty much, at this age, most boys are looking to be cool, and having a gf that will put out helps. Not to say there isnt a deecent one out there, im just saying im still lookin 4 that 1.
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It's possible but not likely. At around age 13/14, most girls go through a boycrazy stage where they think they can't live without one guy- until they find a cuter one. The point of going out with people isn't to get married, it's to get social experience, have fun, and meet new people. I'll be honest with you, most guys at this age are just looking for sex, but it's not their fault. They just haven't matured yet, but there are a few who are willing to fall in love. But why fall in love at 13? Have fun, go on dates, but don't get too committed. Being single is a lot more fun.
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It's quite rare to fall in true love at that age. Sure, you can fall in puppydog love, but generally, as you said, it does not last.
Not all guys are in it just for sex. There are still decent people in the world who know not to have sex at 13 or 14. However, once you get to highschool, it is slightly harder to find someone who isn't just in it for sex. Espically if you're the kind of person who is says "ZOMG LOLZ MY BFZ TOTALLYS HAS TO BE POPULAR!" because the majority of popular guys are in it for sex.
Don't get discouraged though, there are plenty of guys who will wait.
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I agree with you that it is ludicrously unlikely for someone that age to experience love. Or at least, what they do experience and label love, pales in comparison to what they will call love when they are adults. Simply from a biological stand point, young teens don't have fully developed brains OR personal values.
At the same time, I don't think it's fair to say just because it's not the kind of love between two people who are devoted to each other for life that that means that "All teenage guys only want sex."
They don't only want sex. They want a connection and a relationship. They want to feel good about themselves and their desirability as the person. They might even want to support and take care of another person.
They might want sex too! They might not always realize that it might be a bad idea. They might even mistake sex for love, but they wouldn't be alone is ANY of that. Teenage girls are just as guilty of that confusion and conflicting desires.
Then you become adult, and many of them, girls and guys, keep making those exact same mistakes and keep ‘falling in love’ after one date.
Honestly, it's easy to look down on teenage guys sometimes. Huge aspects of our culture encourage us to look down on men and assume the worse of their intentions. That isn't okay though. They are people too and their desires and their relationships with others can be just as complex and deep as a woman's.
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You can be in love at that age, but you are right, in generally is not the type that lasts forever. That's because at that age you don't even really know who you are yet- you're still learning and finding yourself.
As to your other question about guys- not all guys are the same. There are some good ones that will care about you and enjoy your company without the pressure of sex. Others are just starting to feel their sexual urges and are so eager to explore that this is all they can think about.
This is the hard part for girls! They have to be able to tell which is which- who's the good guy and who has only his own interests in mind.
So just keep your eyes open and set your standards and stick to them and you will be fine. The bad guys will get the message and you will attract the kind of guy you're looking for.
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Here's the thing about guys of any age. There's 2 types.
1. The kinds of guys that deny they want to be in love so they tell themselves that all they want is sex.
2. The kinds of guys that want to have tons of sex with the person they're in love with.
Either way it's all about sex and unfortunately #2 is a mush rarer breed at that age. We are constantly told that sex is all that matters. How many times have you heard somebody referring losing their virginity to "making me a man". It's ridiculous, but the sad truth. All I can say is give guys a chance, but be wary.
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