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Q: I am 14/f. I am totally depressed on the matter of not getting friends In school. In my earlier school people used to think I am weird and some rude ones even said it on my face. They used to gossip about me but my mom soon changed my school and I was so happy for it. In my new school, I expected friends but here also people kind of at times ignore me and gossip about me. I can feel the hate about me in some people's faces and I really feel bad about it. I am the kind of person who likes having a lot of fun and friends but unfortunately I never get them. I have like only 3 friends outside but not in school. There is only one girl who actually talks to me but just to use me to do her work. I always try to talk and get in conversations but no one talks too me really. I feels so alone and hopeless. I really want friends but don't know how?? And this is the second time I am going thought this so I hate school but I have this question in mind: why don't I get friends in school??
I really want to talk to some one nice about this and get good advice. It would be nice if someone gave me!!

I'm 28 now, but remember how I felt at your age. High school is a tough time for lots of kids, especially in the beginning. When people make fun of others, it's because of their own insecurity. Unfortunately, a lot of high school students are insecure and looking to be "cool" and fit in, even if it means putting other people down. I used to feel like I was pretty anonymous in high school- I didn't get made fun of, but I never fit in. In fact, I didn't want to, because I thought that would mean being someone I'm not. In retrospect, not everyone in high school was a shallow a-hole, but lots of people were. You are probably getting made fun of for the same reasons: some students in your high school are insecure and judgmental, and feed off of putting other people down so they can feel better about themselves. Also, some girls can be cruel by saying really mean things and gossiping. Again, it is all tied into insecurity.

My advice to you is to write down or make a mental note of the following:

-What are your hobbies?
-What kinds of people are you interested in talking to?
-Who can you turn to for advice? Maybe a trusted adult, or school counselor?

As for your hobbies and types of people you're into, think of maybe joining a school club or taking part in extracurricular activities, where you can make new friends and do things you enjoy. That can give you more confidence, and help you surround yourself with people you like to hang out with. I would also suggest talking to a school counselor about this, since they are there to help students get through tough times. Your counselor can be supportive, and give you more advice on what you can do. They can be a person who you can just vent to, when you feel the need....it's healthier than feeling overwhelmed and depressed.

Also, for the one girl who uses you to do her work for her. You need to let her know that it isn't fair to you to do her work for her, and that if she needs help with work, she can always find a tutor to help her out. If she is respectful to you, she will agree, and maybe only talk to you as a friend, not as someone who will do her homework for her. If not, let her go. You need to focus on surrounding yourself with people who like you as a friend, and nothing more.

Also, one last thing, be true to yourself. Don't just hang around people you don't like just so you can have company. It's best to make an effort to meet likeminded people who you can truly consider as friends. It won't happen overnight, but if you take the right steps, you'll make new friends. I know high school is tough and the things people say hurt, but remember, some kids are insecure, immature, and just plain mean. Be glad that you aren't like them :)

Feel free to reach out if you need more advice.

Q: I have this guy I've been seeing and he decided that he was in love with me the first time we talked on the phone. He was calling himself my boyfriend and telling me he missed me and loved me on our first date. Now he calls and texts all day, he leaves me voice mails crying when I don't answer my phone. He sends me texts accusing me of ignoring him if I don't answer right away. He's driving me crazy I don't know what to do. How do you break up with someone who is constantly accusing you of being the problem in the relationship??? I've only known him a month and he's talking about our wedding having nightmares of losing me waking up screaming. Does this sound unusual to anyone else or am I just relationship challenged?

This guy sounds like he needs help. He is clearly the problem here, not you. He is obsessive and has control issues, and in no position at all to be in a healthy or even somewhat normal relationship. As others have mentioned before, you need to cut off all ties with him, no questions asked. Be straightforward with him and let him know exactly how you feel. His behavior is not normal-he has zero respect for you, he is just troubled and has major emotional issues that only a shrink can address. Make it completely clear that you want to cut all ties--you should not have any contact with him. I would even suggest blocking him from calling you (contact your service provider), in the likely event that he continues contacting you after you break up with him...I am almost certain he will still try to. Someone as unstable as him will not let go easily. Take care of yourself, and if he tries to pull some crazy sh*t, like stalking you, you can get a restraining order against him.

Q: I am a 21 year old female. I am 5 months pregnant. I was dating my boyfriend only 4 months when I got pregnant, and it was a month after he invited me to live in his apartment. He kicked me out at 3 months pregnant. I was sleeping on the street in February. I had to sleep in parking garages and eventually my dad sent me some money because he feels bad for me, so I now rent a room in an aquaintence's apartment. My family lives 3,000 miles away in New York, my ex boyfriend lives in Tijuana and is a Mexican National. I am in San Diego and I am an American citizen. He is not going to marry me, he won't tell me he loves me anymore, and we only talk online. He always says he's too busy to see me, yet once a week or so, he invites me over to his apartment when he wants to have sex. I say no most of the time because I can't believe he would have the audacity. Plus it bothers me that other girls have been sleeping in his bed with him since he kicked me out. He told me his mom is going through menopause and she is having a sort of post mid life crisis and wants to adopt the baby. She only speaks Spanish, in fact my ex's whole family only speaks Spanish, with the exception of his dad and himself. To make matters even more bizarre, my ex boyfriend is moving back with his parents. He is 26 years old and he is an engineer. So basically, I am carrying this baby, and his mom wants to take it from me, her reasoning being that it should not grow up in a single parent household. (me.) I am weirded out by the fact that he will be living in the house with the baby and his parents and his 21 year old sister and 17 year old brother, and my ragdoll/siamese kitten is also there. That's right, they already adopted my cat, and they are breeding her, but she is too young. They want to make money. They seriously are sick people for taking advantage of my misfortune. (since I was homeless, I could not take my cat, so I left it with my ex boyfriend who gave it to his family as a gift.) It's a cramped 2 bedroom apartment they live in. I have only been invited there 2 times. My ex even told me they talk about how excited they are to have a baby in the house and how they hope it will have my traits (blue eyes, light brown hair) and not their mexican dark traits. But they are not welcoming me at all into their family, because my ex has no interest in marrying me. I told my ex I am having the baby in the United States and there is no way he will be able to get it to Mexico, because I seriously think they are going to file some sort of petition against me as an unfit parent so they can adopt the baby. So now my ex is working on getting a temporary visa to cross into the united states for 4 years. I think he wants to take the baby, but he told me the reason he wants to get the visa is because he is planning a trip to Norway and he wants to fly from the United States. (wtf?) On top of this weird situation going on south of the border, here in the United States I cannot find a job A.)Because I am being ''discriminated'' on the interviews I went to because my pregnancy is showing. B.) because I am a college dropout, and C.) because I have zero job experience. Yup, I have never had a job. I don't know what to do, my dad wont be around forever to support me and I have no way of supporting myself. I know there's welfare but that is a crutch, not a way to live. Apparently my ex is planning on leaving the continent or taking the baby out of the united states to mexico, so...I can't get child support. I am so scared and alone it's ridiculous.

Wow, I am so sorry you are going through this. First off, your ex and his family sound selfish to me. You do not want your child to grow up around them in that kind of environment. It sounds like your ex is avoiding the responsibility of supporting this child. His mother might actually be concerned for the child's well being, and for the right reasons. However, she has no legal right to actually adopt the baby without your consent. You would not want the baby to live in a cramped two bedroom apartment anyway, with a family that is not even your own.
I suggest talking to your family and moving to New York. Sure, you should not depend on your dad for too long, but at this point, you are in a desperate situation and need all the emotional and financial support you can get. You really should be with your family, even if it is difficult to make the move. Ultimately, you are the mother and have final say...your ex and his family mean nothing. Trust me, reach out to your dad and family, and move back to New York ASAP. Your ex and his family have no reason for being in your baby's life. Once you are in a position to find work, you can do that..maybe even go back to school. Do what is best for yourself and your baby. Feel free to message me with any other questions or concerns.

Q: i had sex five weeks ago and gain tweenty pounds and am craving things like hotsauce on pancakes and alot of picles im late on my period and im regular tell mewhat u think

That could mean anything, you may or may not be pregnant. Some women start having strong cravings while pregnant, but it could be stress-related too. You need to go get a pregnancy test right away. Planned Parenthood clinics have low cost options, if you are concerned about the cost. You could buy a pregnancy test at the drugstore too, and then go see a doctor to confirm the results. Take care of yourself, and hopefully if you are not expecting a baby or in a position to care for one, you are not pregnant.

Q: Ok, so the other night after a friend's party I ended up making out and fooling around with this guy. He happens to be a friend of my friend. Anyways, I wasn't interested in sex because I met him when I was drunk and high. He respected that and we ended up dry humping all night long. We cuddled a lot, held hands and kissed through it all. It felt very couple-ey. And he spent the night, pretty much the same thing happened the next morning with the kissing and that. We ran fingers along our backs, arms and stuff. It was lovely to say the least and I can't stop thinking about him. I know I will probably meet him again through our mutual friend, just... So awkward. He didn't even ask for my number the next morning. This is not really me, this one night stand thing, Im a relationship kind of girl, was just having a bit of fun which ended up like this.
Anyways so I basically want your opinion on the situation etc. Should I just shut him out and move on? I know of him quite a bit too, through friends.

I think the best thing to do is give it some time. If he is really into you and interested in dating, he will reach out. You could always friend him on Facebook, if you both have accounts (and hey, most of us do), and let him know you had a good time and would be interested in hanging out. The reason I say to wait a little, about a few days to a week, is that sometimes guys turn away from girls who seem too eager or available. Also think about whether there was any chemistry (aside from just the physical stuff) between you two. I say give it a shot, because you have nothing to lose. But stay level headed through it all.

Q: I've been dating a guy long distance for over a year. He wants me to stay with him for awhile so we can work on our relationship. He doesn't want to do long distance anymore so if I don't come, he's going to break up with me. However, I have bills to pay and feel like it would be too difficult to. He said he can help me out with things until I find a job. But he's always saying how broke he is. And I don't know if he would even be able to really help me. I try talking to him about it, but he just says not to worry. Advice?

My advice is to discuss your concerns with him. Be honest about how you feel about the financial situation. Long-distance relationships aren't easy, but there is no guarantee that by moving in with him, things will progress the way you want them to. You are right to be concerned that he is not financially stable, and honestly, I don't think it's wise to depend on him or anyone else to help you get back on your feet. It sounds like he is using this as a way to get you to move closer to him, without thinking about whether he's realistically able to support you for some time. I suggest you take care of your debt and find a job on your own terms. If you really want to be with him, you could discuss the option of paying your bills/debt first, before you commit to moving. If he is supportive and understanding, he will support your decision. If not, then he is probably not worth your time. It's a two-way street, you both need to come to an agreement--things can't just progress on his terms alone.

Q: my mood is fucking with me all the time,one moment im happy,then im sad,then angry,then happy again and etc. im gemini so maybe thats the reason,but i realy dont like how i change my mood and opinion on things all the time,one moment im with my friend and i think shes really cool and funny and the next moment she annoys me so much and i feel this anger,it makes me want to kill her,and it changes all the time for everything and i change all the time,how can i know who i am if i change myself every moment,oh and on top of this im fucking deperessed. any suggestions,any pills that might help? im 15,f

-ghostgirl7

I would definitely start by speaking to a therapist about this, and if needed, being referred to a psychiatrist, who would have the ability to prescribe medication, in case it is thought to be beneficial or necessary. Sometimes a combination of therapy and medication can help. Also, I don't want to downplay the significance of any of this, but you may be going through some teenage angst. No body can tell you for sure if you are clinically depressed or mentally unstable, without a) seeing you first, and b) being in a position to make a professional diagnosis.

Q: hey im 18F
i need some advice on how not to get distracted easily. I get it, its a weird question, but my problem is i cant completely devote my time on a particular activity for long, i lose focus or get distracted. Like studying or keeping a resolution etc.
I really need some thing that will help:/

I would start small. Sometimes having too much to do at once is overwhelming and can make it easy to lose focus. So devote your time to one bit of studying/reading or thing at a time. You can tell yourself that you will read a certain amount of pages or study for a specific amount of time (like 30 min-1 hour) before you get a break. Or if you have a resolution, take it a step at a time. Don't take in too much at once, otherwise you run the risk of giving up all together. For example, if my overall goal is to eat better, I slowly start cutting back on junk food, but don't give it up entirely. When I do have it, I try to have smaller portions, until I get so used to eating healthy, that having the occasional cheeseburger or dessert is a treat. So think about what your overall goal is, and figure out how to divide it up into baby steps. When we look at the whole mountain, we lose focus and get overwhelmed. But by taking things a step at a time, we eventually do reach the top of the mountain--it's about being focused and not giving up.

Q: Hi! I'm a 13 year old girl and I'm getting my ears pierced for my 14th birthday which is in a month. I don't have any other piercings or tattoos or anything like that and I'm just getting the regular ear lobe piercing on both ears, and I don't ever plan to get another piercing.
My whole family supports me and they think it's a great birthday thing, my Mum suggested bringing Panadol or something just in case I get a headache? I'm most likely getting it done at my local chemist or doctors office, so they will be done by a highly trained professional.
Is there anything very important I should know? Is there anything I should take with me?

I would suggest asking for hypoallergenic earrings to start off with. Many people (myself included) have sensitive earlobes, so this will minimize risk of irritation. Also after the procedure, make sure to disinfect the area with an antiseptic or rubbing alcohol to help prevent infection. If your earlobes become infected, you should take out the earrings and apply antiseptic, and see a doctor if needed. The risk of infection is low when you properly care for the earlobes, but it's best to seek help right away if you have signs of infection such as pain, soreness, redness and/or puss.

Q: Ok if anyone get this. i am wanting you know you stick like your hand in like a mold and it get harden in 30 second or so. i want make homemade of it and i can't think of name i know it kinda like cement but they have something else it like clay like

You might be thinking of Plaster of Paris. You can find it at an arts and crafts store or online.

Here's a link:

http://www.walmart.com/ip/Kids-Craft-Plaster-of-Paris-8-lbs/19526542

Here's a video with instructions on how to make a handprint using play doh (as a mold) and plaster of paris:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mKBU2x_VEqk

Q: Okay, so I've had quite a few cold sores and lip infections.

Today I woke up with a cold sore, and I made sure to start drinking a lot of water, eating super healthy to aid those white blood cells in fighting them off, and popping in l-lysine tablets.

Anyway, so I looked in the mirror and it's pulsating. Not only can I feel it pulsing, but in the mirror it actually looks to be flashing white and red constantly.

I checked this morning and it's continually happening. It's SERIOUSLY like a siren.

Anyway, I just wanted to know if that means the virus is continually growing/spreading or if it's starting to dye down because of the white blood cells.

I also get cold sores occasionally. If you can feel and/or see any changes in the cold sore, it means it's still active and growing. Generally once it's past the active stage of growth, you can't feel anything. You just noticed it this morning, so the virus is still active. Once it dies down, as I'm sure you know, the cold sore stops growing, then starts to shrink down and scab over. Keep eating healthy and drinking water.. I've also read that lysine tablets can help, but I think it should be used more as a preventative measure. Stress doesn't help. So in short, the pulsating you feel/see means the virus is active. I make sure to have a tube of Abreva cream at home, and any time I feel tingling on my lip, even before a cold sore appears (I can sense it coming), I put some Abreva on continuously (maybe 2-3 times), and it usually prevents the cold sore from getting big, and speeds up healing time by a lot.

Q: Hello Advicenators,

So, lets start it off this way. My boyfriend and I have been together on and off for about 4 years now, including breaks and breakups between. Hes 21, I'm 19. I go away to school as he stays home and attends community college.

Here is the problem, WE HAVENT HAD SEX IN MONTHS! litterally.. Ill try to do things to turn him on like lay in bed naked or walk around my room naked and i'll even star making out with him and honestly, he doesnt try anything. Last time was when he visited me at school in April and he fell asleep on me. He finishes very quick.. like 5 minutes or so. So im always down for a round 2, 3, 4...whatever, until im pleased. So, now that i've been home from school since may. We havent had sex. Honestly, i dont know whats going on..and why this is happening. but I'm becoming very tempted to go and have sex with someone else because i have a high sex drive. This is getting ridiculous, and they say if your not happy with your love life you cant be happy with your relationship because that will be missing... ugh. what should i do? can/how do i talk to him about it without embarrassing him or shaming him?

Lots of couples go through this. There are many reasons why he hasn't felt like having sex, and no body can tell you why, with certainty. Sometimes the only way to resolve issues is by talking them out, instead of forcing things to happen. Walking around naked, kissing him, scattering candles around, is just that. Although you have the best intentions in mind (I mean, who wouldn't want to spice things up?), you are trying to get something to happen on the surface, when really, the only way to resolve the issue is by digging deep, and figuring out the underlying cause(s).

Ask yourself if your boyfriend has one through a period of stress lately? Have you two started to get too used to each other? Have one, or both of you lost interest? Sometimes couples who are with each other for a long time simply get too used to each other. Sometimes the spark goes out... And sometimes, people change and grow. And as a consequence, grow apart. It may just be that you two have grown apart and are looking for different things. But only you two can figure it out.

The first step is to calmly talk to him. Just let him know exactly how you feel, and ask him if there is anything bothering him or stressing him out that might get in the way of your sex life. Talk to him about the relationship-- as in, where you are, what you two want out of it, etc. Communication is key. You'd be surprised what some one-on-one talking can do for you. It might lead you to get some things sorted out, and either bring you closer together, or, if that isn't the case, it'll help both of you become honest with yourselves about what you expect in a relationship, and if this one fits the bill. It may or may not lead to makeup sex. But you have to answer honestly; Do you love each other? Do you make each other happy most of the time? Are you both attracted to each other? It may or may not be worth a shot to sustain the relationship, but you will not know for sure without talking to him first.

Q: My dog is suppose to be put out,but I cannot get over it! What can I do to calm down about this? ;(

I know exactly how you feel- it's so hard to have to put a pet to sleep, since they practically become part of the family. We had to take our dog to the vet to be put to sleep a few years ago, since he was too old, and was suffering and in pain. The decision to put him to sleep was not easy, but we knew that it was the best thing for him, since it was his time to go. To be honest, it was so much harder to come back to a house without my dog, then to even watch him being put to sleep, because he was seriously ready to go. It was almost a relief to see an end to his suffering. We had him for about 16 years, and he was around 18, so he had a long life, and it was his time.

It's very difficult to have to say goodbye to a pet. What helps though, is to remind yourself that it's really for the best, even though it's really difficult to have your pet be put to sleep. You have to take your dog's well-being into account. Having your dog suffer while living is not fair to him/her, whether they are seriously ill or just too old to enjoy life. I know exactly what you're going through- before we made the final decision to put our dog to sleep, I had the hardest time accepting it...I kept wanting him to live- the simple thought of him not being around was too sad for me to bare. But seeing him suffer through his old age was much harder, and we made the decision to take him to the vet to have him put to sleep.

I am sorry to hear about this, dogs really do become a part of the family. It's going to be difficult for you, but if you try to remind yourself that it's for the best, it will help you pull through. Also, after your dog is put to sleep, think about all the good times you had with him/her, and try not to dwell on the fact that they're no longer around. It is tough, and a grieving process. But when our furry friends go, thinking about the nice memories we have of them can really help.

Q: I am an 22 year old male to female transsexual. I am living full time as a woman. I live in an area that is frequented by prostitutes. There has been many a time cars have pulled up next to me and the guy offering me money for sex, I always shake them off although I must say I was tempted a few times to go for it. I have always fantasized myself being a prostitute. One night while at a club a really cute guy offered me a lot of money for oral sex. I told him sorry, I am not a working girl but he was real cute so I gave him head anyway (no money involved). Hanging out in the car with him I asked why would he want to pay so much money for oral sex. He just said that it was worth that much to him and put the money in my hand and told me to hop out of the car because he had to go. He drove off, I still had the money that I had turned down. Am I now considered to be a prostitute?

That does not qualify you as a prostitute, since no money was involved. If you had specifically asked him for money in exchange, then yeah, you would have prostituted yourself.

But honestly, the bigger issue here is that you fantasize about being a prostitute and have engaged in something risky- I mean, who knows where that guy's been? You could contract an STD (http://std.about.com/od/riskfactorsforstds/a/oralsexsafesex.htm), like Herpes. ALWAYS use protection, and get tested.

Being a prostitute, even for a little while, is demoralizing and degrading; you should celebrate your sexuality instead of objectifying yourself. Unfortunately, if you were to hypothetically ask any number of people the first word to pop into their head when they hear the word transsexual, prostitute might come to mind. I don't really know why- maybe it's the media? Or the fact that many transgendered individuals are marginalized, and are thus at a disadvantage when it comes to employment, and find it difficult to afford expensive hormone therapy, for example.

definitely read this article, it's eye-opening:

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=3156598&page=1

My point through all of this is, do not allow yourself to fall into the whole 'transgendered prostitute' trap. You can defy the stereotype, even if a life as a prostitute appeals to you. It's ugly, it's dirty, it's demoralizing and objectifies individuals. There is so much more you could do with your life- you are 22, and to just throw your life out the window is out of question.

You could raise awareness of the LGBT community, by volunteering for a cause, attending talks, taking part in events, etc., and in essence, advocate for yourself and others like you. You are the way you are, and that is a cause for celebration. You made a conscious choice to be transsexual, and I commend you for that- it is by no means an easy decision to make, and really, you are living out your true colors, so bravo. Do not throw your life away. Being a transsexual prostitute- is that really what you want? Fantasy should not be turned into reality, if it harms you. Do something positive with your life.

Q:

Hello Roya,

I am messaging you personally, because you were very helpful to me before. You probably don't remember, but I am the 27 year old student who is in love with a much younger man.

In short, my feelings have not gone away. I want them to go away,very badly. Yet at the same time, I don't, because this love is defining me right now. I am unhappy because I feel fat, old and ugly. I am absolutely terrified of latching on to this poor boy (who has a girlfriend) and making a complete fool of myself. The odd thing is that I am not at all jealous of his relationship. His girlfriend is applying for a transfer to our university. The sooner she gets it, the better, as far as I am concerned. If she is here, then my whole relationship with him will change. I feel that I have found somebody who understands me, who I feel completely at ease with. This is a scary feeling for me, because of various instances in the past of people abusing my trust. I am confused, and upset. I am sorry for venting.

I do remember you, and hope that everything is going well for you.

I feel like to an extent (though I might be wrong), you might be trying to convince yourself that you do not want anything to develop between the two of you. Maybe you're afraid of getting hurt, or do not want to get worked up, since he has a girlfriend already. Unfortunately, we can't always (or maybe never) control how we feel.

Also, I know it may be a pattern for you, as it is with a lot of girls/women, but try to ask yourself why you feel fat, old and ugly. First, 27 is not old. Second, people define what it is to be "beautiful" in very narrow, shallow terms. You sound like a wonderful person, and though my telling you this will not make your thoughts about yourself disappear overnight, I do hope it allows you to reflect, and make positive changes for yourself overtime.

Our insecurities often seep through, when we are communicating with people. If you feel ugly and old, you might portray yourself as somewhat insecure, or put on a facade of confidence- I do feel that you should work on trying to feel better about yourself. Yoga is a good place to start. Or do something that makes you feel good- a hobby of some sort, or really, anything that makes you feel YOU.

As for your friendship with this guy, keep it going. As you said, you do feel completely at ease with him- you are yourself around him, and he makes you feel good about yourself-- these things are very important in any healthy friendship or relationship. I have a feeling that you want things to go further with him- at this point, since he has a girlfriend, I am sure you already know that timing is not on your side. Still maintain your friendship with him- you never know what (if anything) the future has in store for you. But one thing is for sure, you already have a strong friendship and bond with him, and that is beautiful in itself.

Do not allow his girlfriend to get in the way of your friendship with him. She does not have him all to herself, and frankly, if she is the type to get jealous of any women (friends) he allows into his life, then...well, that's her problem, and you should not allow it to get in the way of your friendship with him.

I really hope that all this is of some help to you. Take care of yourself :)

Q: okay..so my bestfriend lives with me at my parents house. were both 19. im pretty sure she has done unprocted sex and she has had multiple partners...she usually gets her period a week before mine but this month i got it on the first. she then got hers a few weeks later but like for a day..or even just an hour. and it hasnt came back? i dont really talk to her about it but is this normal? do you think shes pregnant? its not like she can go see a doctor because she lives with me and she doesnt have a job at the moment to pay for anything.

You have good reason to be concerned for your friend- having unprotected sex with multiple partners puts her at risk for not only getting pregnant, but contracting STD's. She is being irresponsible, and is clearly in no shape to have a baby any time soon. For one thing, she lives with you at your parents house- she is still dependent on your parents to put a roof over her head, and I'm assuming since she doesn't live with her own parents, they are out of the picture. Second, she is only 19, and if she cannot take care of herself and her own sexual health, then she certainly cannot properly take care of and raise a baby.

That said, just like the columnist below mentioned, there is no way for anyone to tell if she is pregnant. She should be concerned about possibly being pregnant, and having possibly contracted an STD. For those reasons, it is best for her to make an appointment at a local Planned Parenthood clinic- for little to no cost, she can find out if she's pregnant, get screened for STD's, and speak to a nurse regarding birth control and sexual health/issues. She absolutely needs to do all of the above.

She is your best friend, so it should not be impossible for you to raise these issues with her. In private, just calmly explain to her that you are concerned about her health and well being, since you think she has had unprotected sex with multiple partners. Let her know that you strongly suggest she go to planned parenthood or other clinic to get a pregnancy test, and get screened for STD's- because really, you never do know. Let her know that you are care about her, and will be there for her, as her best friend. You should definitely offer to go with her to the clinic, to show support. Hope it all works out for the best.

Q: I have an LG Xenon and I got water under the screen,I put it in rice,for a week but nothing happened,so now its just sitting on my table with water still in it,what else should i try?

It would be a good idea for you to take it to your cell phone provider and have it checked out- they can take the screen off and dry off the water drop. Trying to get rid of the water on your own might lead to more damage to your phone, so it's best to leave it up to a professional.

In the meantime, see if your cell phone has been "acting up" do to possible water damage. If so, if you have insurance, your cell phone company can either repair or replace it for you.

Q: I stopped being friends with someone a long time ago. We had a big falling out over some stupid stuff where she then got her "friends" (which I also thought were mine) to give me dirty looks and stuff. But that's in the past, and I really do miss her. I've had these thoughts for awhile, and lately I've been having a lot of dreams of being friends again or apologizing which has made me realize we never had a full closure either. What should I do?

I have been in a similar situation before. I went a few years without talking to one of my friends, and now, several years later, we're best friends. Having a falling out with someone is a crappy situation to be in- you feel like things can never be the same. Although things might be tense for a while, people change, and things can be patched up after both people have had a chance to heal.

If you feel like your friend would be someone valuable to have in your life, you have good reason to try patching things up with her. She might feel the same way as you, you never know until you try reconnecting with her. If anything, you can have some much-needed closure.

It would be a good idea for you to call her, or email her (if expressing yourself in writing is easier), and let her know exactly how you feel. See if she agrees to meet up for coffee, or something, so you guys can talk and reconnect. Things might be a little awkward at first, or they might not- it all depends. You never know what's on her mind until you try reconnecting with her. Hopefully she will be open to reconnecting with you. All the best :)

Q: i have my heart set on studying in israel for half a year after i finish high school this year. my mom is surprisingly open to it but my father is another story. he wont talk to me and keeps saying, when he does actually speak to me, that i need his permission to go when, in reality, i dont. he thinks im going for the wrong reasons like to party or something but i guess that means he doesnt really know his own daughter because i would never do something like that. i dont really know how to get him to just sit and listen to me. anyone have any suggestions?

I know exactly how you feel. I had to convince my dad to let me study in Spain for a couple of months after high school, and then again, to study abroad in Amsterdam in college. My mom was totally open to both, but he had his reservations. Eventually he opened up to the idea, and supported me in my decisions.

My advice to you is to never yell, however strongly you feel about your desire to study abroad. You have good reason to want to study in another country- it will give you the opportunity to experience new things, meet new people, etc., and really open your eyes up to another culture and part of the world. Your dad feels you need his permission to study there because you are young, and his daughter. The fact is, you need both of your parents permission to do so, if they are supporting your time there financially. Even if you are going to pay for the travel and living expenses yourself, you definitely want to have their support. It's a good thing that your mom supports you now, since she can help convince your dad to be open to you going.

I recommend that you do your research, and tell your dad exactly what you plan to do there, where you will stay, approximately how long the trip/living expenses will be, etc., etc., reassure him that you would like to live there for some time, in order to learn new things, experience another culture, etc., and not to party. Reassure him that although a lot of young people go to Israel to party, you are not one of them. The more details you provide him, the better. Assuming you are Jewish, you can also let him know that this is a great opportunity for you to learn more about Israeli and Jewish history, culture, etc., and to reconnect with your heritage.

I remember when trying to convince my dad to support my trip to Spain, I would sometimes get emotional and defensive- which did not help in the least. What did help, was reassuring him with details, and remaining calm and level-headed. Good luck with everything!

Q: before i asked my boyfriend out last year, i had a best friend who was a guy. me, my friend, and my boyfriend are all in band. my boyfriend would make me feel like crap for hanging out with my friend becuz he was a guy, he got mad if i even talked to him. this went on for like a year so i finally stopped talking to my friend to make my boyfriend happy. then we broke up for a little while, like 2 weeks. when we got back together he was best friends with my old friend. now all he wants to do is play fricken black ops with this kid. i hate my boyfriend for what he did, i hate him so bad for it. he pretty much stole my friend. but if i tell him this, he will ask me what he's supposed to do. and i don't know the answer to that. please help me.
we are 16 and in highschool.

It sounds to me like your boyfriend was jealous of you two hanging out, and worried that something else might develop between you and your friend. He, like some guys around that age, is insecure. Not even allowing you to so much as talk to your friend was totally uncalled for; he is controlling and possessive. You clearly deserve better- much better.

I think you should reconsider being in a relationship with this guy- not only because he took your friend away from you, but because of his controlling behavior. He needs to learn that it's okay for you to have guy friends, and not be jealous or upset about it. Insecure guys often get threatened by other guys their girlfriend is friends with...really insecure guys get controlling about it.

You should have a serious talk about this with your boyfriend. Be firm, and let him know exactly what's on your mind. He might very well deny, deny, deny. But first ask yourself if his behavior has changed. Is he still the same jealous, controlling guy he was when you first started going out? If so, that's a RED FLAG. Tell him that he absolutely needs to be okay with you having guy friends, and cannot tell you what you can and cannot do, and who you cannot hang out with- guys included. He simply cannot tell you what to do, you are your OWN PERSON. If he is denies, gets jealous, defensive, controlling, etc., etc., then you have your answer. You have been with this guy long enough to know who he is. Insecure, jealous, possessive people hardly change, and if they do, it's at snail's pace. Why waste your time (and life) on this guy? If he does not make every effort to be respectful, give you your needed space, and allow you to make your own decisions for yourself (any and all decisions, not just this one), then he does not deserve you.

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I am here to give honest advice, when I feel I have something to contribute. I try to be as empathetic and understanding as I can, as I know that the way something is said is as important as the message itself.

I usually advise on love/relationships, friendship and family issues, nutrition, and health (mental and physical). If I feel I can help out, there's not a whole lot I am unwilling to answer. Ask away!