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I'm 21, pregnant, jobless and not married.
I am a 21 year old female. I am 5 months pregnant. I was dating my boyfriend only 4 months when I got pregnant, and it was a month after he invited me to live in his apartment. He kicked me out at 3 months pregnant. I was sleeping on the street in February. I had to sleep in parking garages and eventually my dad sent me some money because he feels bad for me, so I now rent a room in an aquaintence's apartment. My family lives 3,000 miles away in New York, my ex boyfriend lives in Tijuana and is a Mexican National. I am in San Diego and I am an American citizen. He is not going to marry me, he won't tell me he loves me anymore, and we only talk online. He always says he's too busy to see me, yet once a week or so, he invites me over to his apartment when he wants to have sex. I say no most of the time because I can't believe he would have the audacity. Plus it bothers me that other girls have been sleeping in his bed with him since he kicked me out. He told me his mom is going through menopause and she is having a sort of post mid life crisis and wants to adopt the baby. She only speaks Spanish, in fact my ex's whole family only speaks Spanish, with the exception of his dad and himself. To make matters even more bizarre, my ex boyfriend is moving back with his parents. He is 26 years old and he is an engineer. So basically, I am carrying this baby, and his mom wants to take it from me, her reasoning being that it should not grow up in a single parent household. (me.) I am weirded out by the fact that he will be living in the house with the baby and his parents and his 21 year old sister and 17 year old brother, and my ragdoll/siamese kitten is also there. That's right, they already adopted my cat, and they are breeding her, but she is too young. They want to make money. They seriously are sick people for taking advantage of my misfortune. (since I was homeless, I could not take my cat, so I left it with my ex boyfriend who gave it to his family as a gift.) It's a cramped 2 bedroom apartment they live in. I have only been invited there 2 times. My ex even told me they talk about how excited they are to have a baby in the house and how they hope it will have my traits (blue eyes, light brown hair) and not their mexican dark traits. But they are not welcoming me at all into their family, because my ex has no interest in marrying me. I told my ex I am having the baby in the United States and there is no way he will be able to get it to Mexico, because I seriously think they are going to file some sort of petition against me as an unfit parent so they can adopt the baby. So now my ex is working on getting a temporary visa to cross into the united states for 4 years. I think he wants to take the baby, but he told me the reason he wants to get the visa is because he is planning a trip to Norway and he wants to fly from the United States. (wtf?) On top of this weird situation going on south of the border, here in the United States I cannot find a job A.)Because I am being ''discriminated'' on the interviews I went to because my pregnancy is showing. B.) because I am a college dropout, and C.) because I have zero job experience. Yup, I have never had a job. I don't know what to do, my dad wont be around forever to support me and I have no way of supporting myself. I know there's welfare but that is a crutch, not a way to live. Apparently my ex is planning on leaving the continent or taking the baby out of the united states to mexico, so...I can't get child support. I am so scared and alone it's ridiculous.
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Wow, I am so sorry you are going through this. First off, your ex and his family sound selfish to me. You do not want your child to grow up around them in that kind of environment. It sounds like your ex is avoiding the responsibility of supporting this child. His mother might actually be concerned for the child's well being, and for the right reasons. However, she has no legal right to actually adopt the baby without your consent. You would not want the baby to live in a cramped two bedroom apartment anyway, with a family that is not even your own.
I suggest talking to your family and moving to New York. Sure, you should not depend on your dad for too long, but at this point, you are in a desperate situation and need all the emotional and financial support you can get. You really should be with your family, even if it is difficult to make the move. Ultimately, you are the mother and have final say...your ex and his family mean nothing. Trust me, reach out to your dad and family, and move back to New York ASAP. Your ex and his family have no reason for being in your baby's life. Once you are in a position to find work, you can do that..maybe even go back to school. Do what is best for yourself and your baby. Feel free to message me with any other questions or concerns.
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