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boyfriend stole my best friend
before i asked my boyfriend out last year, i had a best friend who was a guy. me, my friend, and my boyfriend are all in band. my boyfriend would make me feel like crap for hanging out with my friend becuz he was a guy, he got mad if i even talked to him. this went on for like a year so i finally stopped talking to my friend to make my boyfriend happy. then we broke up for a little while, like 2 weeks. when we got back together he was best friends with my old friend. now all he wants to do is play fricken black ops with this kid. i hate my boyfriend for what he did, i hate him so bad for it. he pretty much stole my friend. but if i tell him this, he will ask me what he's supposed to do. and i don't know the answer to that. please help me.
we are 16 and in highschool.
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It sounds to me like your boyfriend was jealous of you two hanging out, and worried that something else might develop between you and your friend. He, like some guys around that age, is insecure. Not even allowing you to so much as talk to your friend was totally uncalled for; he is controlling and possessive. You clearly deserve better- much better.
I think you should reconsider being in a relationship with this guy- not only because he took your friend away from you, but because of his controlling behavior. He needs to learn that it's okay for you to have guy friends, and not be jealous or upset about it. Insecure guys often get threatened by other guys their girlfriend is friends with...really insecure guys get controlling about it.
You should have a serious talk about this with your boyfriend. Be firm, and let him know exactly what's on your mind. He might very well deny, deny, deny. But first ask yourself if his behavior has changed. Is he still the same jealous, controlling guy he was when you first started going out? If so, that's a RED FLAG. Tell him that he absolutely needs to be okay with you having guy friends, and cannot tell you what you can and cannot do, and who you cannot hang out with- guys included. He simply cannot tell you what to do, you are your OWN PERSON. If he is denies, gets jealous, defensive, controlling, etc., etc., then you have your answer. You have been with this guy long enough to know who he is. Insecure, jealous, possessive people hardly change, and if they do, it's at snail's pace. Why waste your time (and life) on this guy? If he does not make every effort to be respectful, give you your needed space, and allow you to make your own decisions for yourself (any and all decisions, not just this one), then he does not deserve you.
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