Razhie


"This is the true joy in life - being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances." --George Bernard Shaw

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My official name is Manda, but I've been Razhie for almost as long. I'm a 28 year old woman who didn't use to be half as confident or brazen as she is now.

My advice is pretty good, not always perfect and rarely censored.

I can read what is written. I cannot read your mind.


Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.

Favourite Collumnists. (WittyUsernameHere.) (karenR.) (NinjaNeer.) (rainbowcherrie.) (DangerNerd.)


    The Question
    You say that what I expiernced wasnt normal, but yet all the feelings you are describing is exactly what I'm feeling... so doesnt that make it the least bit normal?? I know that sex is suppose to be wonderful and shared with someone you truly care for or better yet after you married. I was brought up on those morals, but because I got caught up in the moment, I lost my head for that second and had sex.

    Does the feelings of wanting to shower 6 times a day, throw up, hide from all boys and not wanting them to touch you ever go away? I know that I've learned my lesson. I plan to wait until marriage or at least a long long time!

    Thanks for your answer

    The Answer
    Hehehe, okaies, let me be a bit clearer. The bad feelings aren't normal to have *about sex*. Alot of people have an experience like yours and think sex will always be that way, or is supposed to make you feel bad, and it isn't.

    And yes, the feelings do fade. They will fade even quicker if stick to doing what you believe is right, and forgive yourself. You sound like you are ready and willing to do that, so just give it some time.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    Ok so Ive known this guy about a month in a half and we just started dating like a week ago. Things sorta went fast, maybe I little too fast for my comfort, but nothing I can do now. Anyways, we recently had sex and he was my first; we did it 3 times. I cried while driving myself home from his house, he lives 30 min away from my house; I had to pull over 2 times because I was crying so hard. I came home and talked to my best guy friend who I love dearly, he was trying his best to calm me down and everything. He kept saying it was normal to feel like this: empty, almost wishing you hadn't, just cold.... like someone just did the most rotten thing to you but worse. My best friend is away for a week and I cant talk to her and I need to talk to someone other than a guy. Is this normal??? HELP ME PLEASE!!

    The Answer
    This isn't a normal response to having sex, sex can be wonderful, but it a normal response to making a big mistake. You didn't feel right about having sex with this guy. You know now it wasn't what you really wanted to do, you probably feel hurt, empty and a little ashamed.

    I've been there. It feels awful all over, makes you want to cry, throw up, shower a million times, anything to get the feelings out of your system.

    But the fact is, you did what you did and you can't take it back. What you've learned is to think more seriously about where your relationships are headed and be more concious about what you want to do with your body.

    You'll be better for this and wont make the same kind of mistakes agian. The important thing now is to trust yourself and your feelings and do what you need to take care of your mind and heart.

    *huggles*
    Good luck.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    okay yeah i have a bad temper or w/e... but i started liking My Chemical Romance before the became more popular then all these people i know start saying "oh my gosh! my chemical romane is the best band ever i love them!" and the know helena from trl... thats the only song they know. i know about 15 songs of theres. and i loved hot topic since years ago, and these people are like "oh my gosh how could you go in there? that store is for creeps and blah blah blah" and i'm like no... and they carry a lot of cool band shirts and stuff! i mean? and they say the love MCR and they wouldn't even take one step into a hot topic even for $10 to get one of their shirts?? is this a poser? i kinda dunno if this is the true definition or w/e...

    The Answer
    My advice, get over it.

    You shouldn't be wasting your energy stressing over hypocritical or dumb people. There are so many in the world you could drive yourself mad worrying about them.

    Stop caring what other people think, or if they are as true a fan as you are. It's not important. Just keep doing your thing, and if what they say really bothers you, walk away.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    there is this one guy that i really like.i know that i love him too.when i am in love i can't sleep or eat and i can't even breathe right when i see him or think about him. i have know idea what to do. until my one friend had a little chat with him.. he said at first that he would never go out with me. but then later he said i am confused and i need to get my priorities straight. so is it best just to be his friend right now.. or should i try to get him ?

    signed

    crazy in love but very confused

    The Answer
    I think the guy already answered your question for you very well. You are confused and need to get your priorities straight. You barely know this guy, you have never dated, and he was quite clear that he doesn't have any interest in dating you.

    What you are feeling is very intense infatuation, maybe even admiration and lust, but probably not love.

    Just be his friend if you can, not 'just for now', but only a friend period, because it certainly doesn't sound like your feelings are returned. Accept that and move on.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    Why do you guys delete all questions about masturbating and please and about what people can do for their partner and stuff? Because you just started doing this recetly..so i was just wondering! thanks!

    The Answer
    Lots of people delete those questions because they have been asked so many times before, a very quick browse through the sex questions will show you the answers to them. Others simply because they don't like them, or agree with them.

    I personally, can't delete questions, but I will rate down any questions that are poorly written. Which, to be fair, is the majority of the masturbation ones.

    Part of this problem steams from the lack of solid guidelines for mods. And DangerNerd is hard at work to give us solid guidelines and make the mods rate and delete fairly. So just wait a bit longer, it is comming. In the meantime just make sure all your questions are well written.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    ok, well, my bf's friend asked me if i would make out with my bf and i said i would. you see my bf had never made out with anyone before. so when we went to the movies with him and our friends something happend. all the guys were calling him a wuss bc he has never made out before and stuff. so anyway in the middle of the movie he turns to me and says "look, i love you but i dont want to mess anything up so can i kiss you?" and i was like...um...yea ok. so he was like.."lets do it then". i felt REALLY werid. so then everyone came and sat by us so we kinda stoped talking or doing anything. so then about...i would say 10 mins past and he said "ok, i know this is gonna be akward but im sorry". so out of no where he starts to make out with me. and im not saying it was bad but it felt werid. so after 3 seconds i pulled back and said "this feels weird". and he said sorry and stoped talking. so now i feel bad. i mean, i want him to kiss me bc he wants to and bc he likes me. not bc his buddies are making fun of him! so the question is...should i tell him why i pulled away? and was it bad for me to pull away? sould i say sorry? im so confused so I BEG OF YOU! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE help me!!!!!!! theres some 5's involed : ).

    The Answer
    Tell him why and certainly don't apologize. You ought to feel specail and loved while kissing someone, not like your being shown off to all his friends. This is an issue, and a moment for the two of you to share, privately.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    Fellow atheists: I have a friend who is a militant Christian, meaning, she thinks it's her job to convert everyone who isn't Christian into one, including me. She knows I'm atheist, but it really bothers me when she tells me that I'm going to hell for not believing in Christian ways. I've told her many times that I don't believe in a god, afterlife, or book of worship. Yet, she still has the nerve to constantly bring up "god" and how I NEED to be a Christian. Other than that, she's cool. Are there any ideas on how to get through to her that I really don't want her help when it comes to religion? I'm going to snap if she comments to me one more time.

    The Answer
    This is not a friend.
    Where is the mutal love and respect?
    Thats the only response I can come up with. So what advice can I give but repeat, repeat, repeat. Come up with a line like "Thank you for caring about me but I don't agree with you." and say it over and over. But in my experince, she wont get the message.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    I have a really cute guy friend name"Brock Bumbarger" & we have been friends for 3 years now. We hang out all the tim, and go to the movies together!! Last august on my 15th b-day he kissed me, like making out wise & ever since then I have been confused. Everyone says we should just admit we like each other. I so want to tell him how i feel, but i am scared he might reject me & I would know what to do if he did. What should I do?

    The Answer
    It's been a year and you are still confused about this? Get moving girl. If you get regected, then you get regected and things are wierd and painful for a little while. I promise you that you will get regected and life and after a year of wishing this guy is probably worth taking that risk for.

    If you ever want anything to develope with this guy you are going to have to take the chance.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    the gurl really likes me put i dont like goin places with my best friend which is her cuzin and her we are gonnna prob go out wen the summer ends because she doesnt want a boy friend in the summer.i dont like goin wit my friend and my almost gurl friend because i cant be myself wit him around and she noes that. i dont want my almost girl friend goin out wit any guys i dont noe aboutu no so help me out if u could thanxs i need help bad i dont no wat to do

    The Answer
    Why can't you be yourself around your male friend? Maybe you need a more understanding friend or to stand up to him and tell him that you want to behave this way when you are with this girl.

    Maybe the girl will understand and wait for you, and not go with other guys. All you can do is ask her too. But regardless, you need to stand up to your friend and behave the way you want to.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    Do you prefer a bikini line wax, everything gone wax or shaving?

    The Answer
    Everything gone, more often shaving then waxing (its just easier). I will always always swear by being clean shaven. It made the world of difference for me, I just felt so much cleaner during my period or when I worked up a sweat.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    How do you go from being a Level 1 moderator to being a Level 2 moderater? And 2 to 3? Please help, and can you try to send me to a link i just want a good explanation. Thanks! ♥

    The Answer
    Those FAQs are not really acurate anymore. DangerNerd is working on changing the system of becoming a mod and on rating questions. So just stay posted and read the news!
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    okay if you give someone head or a blow job can u get pregnant? like from swallowing the cum?

    The Answer
    No, you can not get pregnant from swallowing cum. There is a chance that you can get STDs from giving head, and a very small chance that if you touch yourself or insert a finger into yourself afterwards some living semen could get inside of you. So wash your hands and know your partner is clean.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    ok....... I am a femaile and i have a gay friend. We have been friends for soooo long now that we became best friends. well the problem is that i donr feel comfortable around him anymore. and im not sure that i want to be friends with him anymore. But i dont want to hurt him cuz i went throught alot of crap last year and he was always there for me and helping me through everything. i love him for that. But he is like always all over me now and now he doesnt talk to me much but i guess that could be because its the summer. i live in oklahoma and we went to texas with our church and we were walking to together and i got sick from riding all the rides at six flags and he got soooooooooooooo mad at me cause i didnt want to ride and big rides for awhile to settle my stomach. wat would this mean? is he getting tired of me? i need help. i will rate high for good answers

    The Answer
    You are confusing me. First you say you don't think you want to be his friend anymore then you are worried he is tired of you?

    Ignore his feelings for a moment and focus on yours. Is he being mean to you now? Are you sick of him? Decide what you want for you. Then worry about his feelings. If you decide you don't want to be his friend anymore it doesn't matter if he is tired of you or not.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    Hi, I'm the one who wrote about my boyfriend who so rudely dumped me without as much as even TELLING me, and then saying that I didn't have feelings and desserved my heart broken as much as people wanted too. Now I am a generally nice person, but this got me so upset. :( Well now hes going out with this other girl, and they keep iming me to tell me what a "loser" I am and how I can't "get" any boys. I blocked them but I still have to see them at school. By the way, their screennames are pyroboy9977 and XoCheerQtXo3222, if anyone would like to talk some sense into them.

    Sorry for wasting your time, but I'm really stuck here. And I feel like there is something seriously wrong with me. :(

    The Answer
    You had me believing you were a generally nice person untill you posted thier screen names and asked people to harass them. That is pretty low and mean.

    Ignore them. Stop encouraging other people to bash them, stop bashing them yourself. If they are nasty people they don't deserve the time of day, so walk away from this bullshit. If you keep feeding into it with nastiness like giving thier screen names to complete strangers for harassment, you deserve what you get.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    does anyone know any funny pointless songs?
    Ex. (Stacy's Mom, Crazy Frog, Hampster Dance, Etc.)
    Just any funny songs that you could laugh at, know any?

    The Answer
    Cows with Guns
    The Sweater by Meryn Cadell
    If You Were Gay
    and Schadenfreude from Avenue Q
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    Okay, awhile back I liked this guy "Caleb" for almost a year. He had (and still has) a girlfriend, and "Caleb" turned me down when I told him how I felt. Now his girlfriend has moved to Canada, and he's been talking to me on AIM saying "yo" before I even say "hi" first. My mom knows what happened and how badly it hurt me when he hurt my feelings, but now him and I want to be friends. My mom told me NEVER to talk to him again on AIM because of what happened. By the way, he's three years older then me and so is his girlfriend. Now we just want to be FRIENDS, and I don't want to block him or anything, so I turn my away message on when he comes online. I'm so confused, because I don't know if his girlfriend is ever going to break up with him, and if she does, he'll be talking to me a lot about how sad he is. Any advice on how to deal with this?

    The Answer
    Keep your distance from this guy unless you want to become rebound girl. It's okay to be friends but this guy seems to be stringing you along even if he doesn't mean to.

    If you think you can keep it on the level of just friends then you are fine, if not, just back off a little. If he is really sad about relationship issues maybe you'll want to say "I'm sorry I don't think I'm the person you should be talking to about this."
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    I didn't know where to put this, so i just clicked a random category...

    My friend came over here last night and she called some people that we met off the internet. It was after 9 so it was free, but I was wondering...it was with Cingular just FYI...but since it was free, would it still show up on my detailed billing? My parents are the kind that don't like me talking to people that I meet off of the internet, so if they found out that they had my PHONE NUMBER they would freak...I mean I wasn't the one talking, but yeah...anyways...does it show up on the bill even though it was free?

    The Answer
    Yes. Although I am not a cingular customer I am almost certain it will. But here is the real problem. What you are doing is dangerous, even if you weren't the one talking. Some stranger has personal information on you now, and you have no real way to know if they are safe or not.

    Your parents have every reason to 'freak'. You did a silly thing.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    I'm a 3rd year high school student and I stay at the dormitory. The freshies in the dormitory wanna make friends with me. I'm just wondering if how could I make friends with them. I know I should make the first move because I'm older than them and the're new at our school.

    The Answer
    Just dive in. Maybe show them around. That seems like the perfect way to me. Do you know a great place to eat? A great party in some other dorm or floor. Are any of them taking classes you used to take? Dig up some old assignments or tests and give them so help studying. Your experience makes you valuable to them and you might make some great friends too.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    well i have been looking at all the posts on here. and i am one of the ones confused about what i want. as in girls or boys. i mean i love boys, dont get me wrong. but i have been thinking about girls. i cant experiment with anyone. all of my friends think that kissing another girl is gross and everything. but i really would like to try. i dont have anyone to try with.

    any advice?

    The Answer
    The desire to experiment is normal for a lot of people. But if, like you said, you don't have anyone to do it with, then you are out of luck for now. Don't let your friends make you think your interest makes you a freak or disgusting. Some of them will probably get curious sometime in thier lives too. Just be open to meeting new people and keep your eyes peeled for someone who shares your curiosity.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    This guy I met at camp seems to have a thing for me. While we were there he tried to pull me into a room by ourselves so we could talk. (I definitely know he was not trying to get some. I'm positive.) He also talked to me from his friend's house, and he flirted so much it was crazy. Seriously, every sentence he said alluded to the fact that he has a thing for me. So my question is how do I know if he really likes me or if he just flirts with everyone and wants me to fall for him?

    The Answer
    You don't until you spend more time with him or ask him. You can observe him with other girls and get a clue to his normal behavior but you still aren't a mind reader. If you feel he is genuinely interested. Go for it. If you feel he is playing with you. Get out of it. Listen to your instincts and pay attention.
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