I have no idea what to do about my militant Christian friend
Question Posted Tuesday August 9 2005, 1:43 am
Fellow atheists: I have a friend who is a militant Christian, meaning, she thinks it's her job to convert everyone who isn't Christian into one, including me. She knows I'm atheist, but it really bothers me when she tells me that I'm going to hell for not believing in Christian ways. I've told her many times that I don't believe in a god, afterlife, or book of worship. Yet, she still has the nerve to constantly bring up "god" and how I NEED to be a Christian. Other than that, she's cool. Are there any ideas on how to get through to her that I really don't want her help when it comes to religion? I'm going to snap if she comments to me one more time.
goodlttlgrl89 answered Saturday August 13 2005, 4:05 am: ok im not asking for comments back. but i mean what would it hurt for you to believe in God i mean if your right well then nothing is goin to happen when you die and everyone will be fine. but what if your friend is right and she goes to heaven and you are lost forever [ goodlttlgrl89's advice column | Ask goodlttlgrl89 A Question ]
salemwolf answered Thursday August 11 2005, 5:07 pm: i know this sounds mean and she's your friend but tell her that she'll burn in hell for being such a bitch in not respecting in your belifes even thought really you have none. Neither do I. Pluse I know I never looked in the bible but i think it says some where that you have to respect other people's ways of life no matter what. so just tell her to fuck off. i did that once and it got my friend to stop. and me and him are still friends lol. [ salemwolf's advice column | Ask salemwolf A Question ]
Real4Christ07 answered Wednesday August 10 2005, 12:28 am: Jesus Loves you more than you'll ever know. Everything you feel he feels. He wants to help you not condemn or harm you.
11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
See right now you're a sinner. Everybody in this world is. See God requires payment for sin. So if you die in your sins and never ask Jesus to come into your heart and to be your Lord and Savior you WILL go to Hell.
8 "But the fearful, and UNBELIEVING, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death"
But see that's why Jesus came died on the cross and rose again on the third day. He came and he took punishment for YOUR sins. He came so that YOU could call on him and have your sins taken away an have life in Heaven and not death in Hell. Do you REALLY know what hell is like?
It's not just some hot spot where people just chill. It's a place of torture; a place of torment pain, grief, sorrow, sadness, and every last bad feeling you've ever felt.
A place of hopelessness and suffering - as a woman is about to give birth to a child, many go through painful labor that can last from a few minutes to a few days. But through this painful anguishing time, there is hope that when the child is born this terrible labor pain will subside. Just imagine if you can if that pain was multiplied many times over and you would never have hope of it ever going away forever? You would do anything to die to get rid of the pain, but it would always remain and continue forever and ever and ever. THIS IS HELL!A place of memory - When a person is tormented with a bitter memory they sometimes may commit suicide as a way out. In hell this is impossible because your spirit will never die, but will always remember how you sold your soul for the pleasures of this short sinful life. You will continue to always wish you were in heaven instead of hell, if only you would have made the right decision. But God wants to take that all away.
(in Heaven)Revelation 21:
4He will wipe every tear from your eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."
You don't have to go to Hell. All you have to do is ask Jesus into your heart and for him to be your personal savior. And trust me things in your life will start to change.
Jesus Christ Changes Things (Believe it or Not)
It's true!!!!!!! [ Real4Christ07's advice column | Ask Real4Christ07 A Question ]
Sportychicc9393 answered Tuesday August 9 2005, 6:45 pm: Im really sorry but your friend is just trying to help you. Why don*t you tell her say look " I know your trying to help me but I have the right to belive in what I want to." I dont no if I can help you on this one b/c I*m a christian too. But you and your friend are both right cause you have the right to belive in whatever you want to but your friend is right too. Shes just trying to help you. Did you ever think about just listening to her for a minute? I hope I have helped you in some way! Im me if needed Sportychicc9393 [ Sportychicc9393's advice column | Ask Sportychicc9393 A Question ]
daughterofwily answered Tuesday August 9 2005, 10:32 am: Please bear with me; I'm a bit longer and more rambling than usual, and some of my opinions require a lot of points to come together. I may seem to be advocating her side at a few points, but that's not my intentions--I'm merely asking you to consider hers before you act, and ensure that you're not treating mistakes and slips as deliberate acts.
On to the advice.
I sort of know where you're coming from. I'm sort of a Christian, and my atheist friends were very relentless in trying to "convert me" to atheism or even "anything but Christianity." I didn't tell people they were going to hell, either.
I've also had Christian friends try to press their beliefs on me, although the fact that I believed in Jesus sort of got them off my backs.
You need to be absolutely sure that she understands how you feel. Make sure to tell her that her constant conversion attempts are hurtful, annoying, and frustrating to you. Tell her that you have no intention of ever converting, and that her behavior is driving you even further away from Christianity than you already were. Tell her that you value her friendship but you will not continue to tolerate harassment, and that if she cannot stop trying to convert you, you can no longer be her friend.
What ever you do, please, please, PLEASE do not try to insist that atheism is better, or convert her. You cannot defeat fire with fire int his case. When you try to tell anyone that the fundamental facts of their religious beliefs are wrong (i.e., trying to tell a Christian that there is no God, or an Atheist that there IS a God and they'll go to hell if they don't worship him), the person being told that automatically goes into a sort of "persecution" mode. I know this, I've seen it in myself and my Christian, Atheist, and Agnostic friends... And you need only look to history to see just how nasty "convert or ELSE" attitudes can make relationships and the world.
After you tell her how she's hurting you, avoid the topic of religion. If you talk about it after that, it'll seem like you're sort of flaunting it in her face. Also, she'll be less likely to lapse if you avoid the topic.
If she continues to preach, break off the friendship. She needs to learn that confrontationalist attitudes in religion do not work, and maybe, if everyone did this to badgering or overly pushy Christians, those sects would realize that telling people they are going to go to hell does not work. That sort of attitude is bad for everyone, Christian or otherwise.
If she stops pestering you, continue as normal. Try not to treat her badly just becuase she used to be annoying, should she straighten up. Some friends will drive you insane, and then stop bugging you... and it really hurts them if you bring up old hurts and old fights.
And one last (rather long) pointer--please don't mistake her reveling in her faith for tryin to push it on you. Obviously this is a touchy area... But she may continue to talk about God without actively preaching to you. (i.e. "I took a retreat with my church group, and I feel so much closer to God." versus "You need to go on a retreat so you can find God!")
If this false relapse makes you uncomfortable, please tell her. Don't simply assume that she's preaching, becuase she may not mean to. When you have a strong faith in anything, Christianity, Atheism, whatever, you have these moments where everything seems to make sense. And most people are compelled to share these moments with their friends--even if their friends have different faiths. The important thing is communication--if you're okay with this, then tell her, and if you're not, then tell her that you're not. If she doesn't listen to you... give her at least one second chance, and then kick her to the curb.
crazygoober2006 answered Tuesday August 9 2005, 3:47 am: I am a Christian, so I can see where your friend is coming from. Her beliefs in God and wanting to see you become a Christian, she has the best for you at heart. I don't know why you don't believe in God or details or anything. Just realize your friend just cares about you a lot. Keep reminding yourself of that. And who knows maybe one day, you'll change your mind, as of right now you may say no...that will NEVER in a life time happen, but just think, many ppl say that and then it happens. Good luck w/ your friend. That's a tough one. [ crazygoober2006's advice column | Ask crazygoober2006 A Question ]
jazabelle answered Tuesday August 9 2005, 3:09 am: Point out to her you would like to remain friends, but you feel you can't while she behaves this way. Ask her why she constantly feels the need to bring up religion against your wishes. I would personally say I could no longer be her friend if this continues, which would be a shame because you don't want that to happen.
jean_nicole answered Tuesday August 9 2005, 2:27 am: I hate people like that. I've known so many of them. But anyways. Sadly I don't think there is a way to make them stop trying to convert people. But I guess you could just tell her that its messing up your friendship. Alot of people will change if it means losing a friend. [ jean_nicole's advice column | Ask jean_nicole A Question ]
Razhie answered Tuesday August 9 2005, 2:26 am: This is not a friend.
Where is the mutal love and respect?
Thats the only response I can come up with. So what advice can I give but repeat, repeat, repeat. Come up with a line like "Thank you for caring about me but I don't agree with you." and say it over and over. But in my experince, she wont get the message. [ Razhie's advice column | Ask Razhie A Question ]
devilspawn_666 answered Tuesday August 9 2005, 2:08 am: I'm a fellow atheist. I've been one for about 8 of my 16 years of life. The only way to handle friends that are like this is to tell them that you're not interested in pursuing any religious ventures at this time. I've had to deal with it many times. You should probably be straight up with your friend, as that's probably the only way to get through to her. Tell her that you love being her friend and hope to continue being her friend in the future, but you don't want her help when it comes to religion, and God, and things of that nature. Make sure you say it like you mean it... because otherwise her behavior won't stop. If the talk doesn't work, just tell her that if she contines to push her faith on you that you will no longer be talking to her. It's harsh, I know, but sometimes it's the only way. [ devilspawn_666's advice column | Ask devilspawn_666 A Question ]
Marlowe_Cellars answered Tuesday August 9 2005, 1:59 am: There's really nothing you can do. Perhaps you can take solace in the fact that if she didn't care about you, she wouldn't care about you burning in her hell, anyway. What can you do? I can only imagine pretending to be converted would help, but that would certainly be a violation of principle. [ Marlowe_Cellars's advice column | Ask Marlowe_Cellars A Question ]
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