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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
I'm 17 and oldest of 2 other sisters and having problems with my dad. We haven't been close since I was a little kid, mainly because my dad has problems.... He explodes when he gets mad, he's annoying, judgemental, and always criticizing me any chance he gets, and lots more. He says I'm lazy because when I'm not at school or working at my job I usually try to catch up on sleep or relax... He says my 14 year old sister does everything and that I do nothing. I try to explain my sleep deprived situation but he doesn't listen to a word and yells over everything I say. I don't talk to him unless it's necessary. He's always lecturing me about how I need to improve myself. He's just always on my case stating how messed up I am and why I can't be more like him, or more like my sister, more like other people. I can't take it. He's always upsetting me and I end up crying and hyperventilating. It's so hard dealing with someone like this when they're supposed to be there to support you. How do I deal with a dad like this?
First of all I don't think the problem is all you as your father makes out.
As the oldest child you are the child we as parents you could say cut our parenting teeth on. You're the one we make the mistakes with. I'm still not saying you are in the wrong here. What I'm saying is that with the oldest child we may find we were to lenient or maybe to strict or to indulgent. When the second child comes along we have this parenting thing a little better under control. If there is a third or more children of the marriage parenting becomes easier.
Now as the oldest child gets older and we start
to compare the younger to the older we wrongly try to correct what we see as something we did wrong in raising the older child. From my point of view if we have raised the older child to know right from wrong, to obey the law and the rules of society, to get good grades at school, respect their elders, care and have respect for themselves then we have done our jobs as parents.
From what you have written you hold a job and go to school. Since you did not write about grades I will assume for the moment that you bring home acceptable grades. Teenagers both boys and girls need and value their sleep more than younger children. This is a known fact both to doctors and teachers. May High Schools have instituted Saturday detention because of the value students place on sleep.
As to what you can do to deal with your father better, I wish I had an answer for you. You can certainly try to do what he is asking of you. Frankly though I think he will just find other things to pick on. This is my appraisal based on your writing. Here again I believe this is more dad and what he is doing based on his feelings of correcting what he sees as wrongs in his raising of you. If you are a good kid in the ways I explained above just ride it out. When you leave for college things will change between you and your dad.
As I am old enough to be your grandfather I am unfortunately speaking from experience as many of us parents have gone through just what I have written. Its wrong and I have made it up to my son. Hopefully your dad, in the future, will make it up to you.
(26 year old female)
What does it means when a man tells you that he need to open up to the woman more?
Speaking as A male and again not knowing the context of the statement. I would go along with advisemistrisses answer.
Most of us men find it very had to show our inner most feeling to women and that includes our wives. We, especially older men, have been raised to believe we have to be the strong ones, to keep our feelings in check, We can never be vulnerable.
With that in mind I believe that is what is being said in your statement.
Is there any way you can get pregnet if he cums in your ass
We get asked this question a lot. Only your womb, which is connected to your vagina can support a pregnancy. Your rectum, ass, is connected to your bowel which is an entirely different system within your body and is not connected in any way to your womb.
The only possible way you could get pregnant from someone coming in your rectum is for the semen to leak out and find its way to your vagina. Frankly speaking the rectum is so full of bacteria I don't think any sperm would live long enough to make the journey should they leak from the back door and find your front door. Though as the saying goes anything is possible.
Curiosity question? Since we get asked this question so often just what to the teach in sex ed today?
I tried what you told me but it didn't work at all but thanks 4 your advice anyway.
Well if all else has failed try asking your brother. It helps if you have something to blackmail him with. lol. But try asking nicely first or asking mom or dad to ask him to help.
The other day, I had asked to go to the bathroom during class, and my teacher had said yes. After I went to the bathroom, I noticed that my locker was open. When I went to close it, I noticed that the binder I needed for the class I was in was still in my locker, meaning that in my hurry to get to class, I had grabbed the wrong binder (my locker is right across from the restrooms). I got my binder, along with a textbook, and went back to class. Evidently my teacher thought that I had lied about going to the bathroom and had gone to my locker instead. He was angry with me (everyone was staring). I felt horrible because my favorite teacher thought I was a liar. After class, he apologized for seeming harsh, and he told me that he wasn't mad and he wasn't giving me a detention. Somewhat relieved, I wished him a merry Christmas and left. I still can't help but worry about
it. I feel like I unintentionally have hurt him and myself, and that he hasn't fully forgiven me for his idea of a crime. What should I do?
(Sorry it's a bit long...)
You are over thinking the problem. For a teacher to go out of their way to apologize says he knew he was wrong for yelling at you. When he had time to think more clearly he understood you where not lying and that he made things right by not giving you detention.
I can't think of what more proof you would need to know that in your teachers mind this issue is over and forgotten. He is not hurt only you are by over thinking the incident.
Relax and enjoy the holiday break.
i'm 18 years and done with school now im on holiday, my parents don't let me go anywhere even to the mall to hang out with friends, is this normal? am i not old enough to be let out on my own
The fact that you used the term "on Holiday" tells me you may not be from the USA but from a European Country or Australia. The fact that I mention this is that in the US you at age 18 are legally an adult responsible for your own actions. While I believe this is probably the same in most other countries I'm just not sure so I can't say for certain.
Several things that are for certain. First: The old saying of; "As long as you live under my roof you live by my rules." Every parent has that rule.
The second is more complex. We parent have a hard time letting go, more so with fathers and their daughters than with their sons. A daughter will always be daddy's little girl needing daddy's protection even after she is grown and has children of her own. Where a son becomes a man after he proves himself to his father. That is just the way life is. Is it fair; probably not, though you will not be the one nor will any other young lady be able to change this.
Next comes the fact that as parents we have a hard time letting our children leave the nest. Here again gender plays an important role. Boys are easier to separate from the parents then girls for the reasons state earlier. Girls well the same reasons apply.
If you are going away from home for school you probably live differently at school than at home. We see this but to a degree we are also blind to it as we expect that you will live as you were taught at home. What you have to do is teach your parents that the right thing for them to do for you know is to help you learn to live in the adult world you will face when you finish school.
You need to put this idea to them in just this manner. Remember it has been our responsibility since the day you were born to teach you. To help you learn right from wrong. As much as dad would like to keep you cloistered he will understand you need to make your way in the world. That you will eventually need to leave the nest. That it is his job to teach you how to do this safely.
This will work for you if your parents reasons are to protect you.
Hi, I was just wondering how I can makeout with a guy, and then give him head for the first time (with him). We makeout a lot but not getting as far as sexual wise. I really want to, but i just can't. I get nervous, and think that he won't want me to. I always rub his chest and he touches my butt/waist when we makeout, so
1.what should I do??
2. Is their any positions we could be in while making out to give him a boner??
3.where else should I touch him while making out??
I'm 15f and he's 15m
The fact that your boyfriend is not being more aggressive with you. Plus the fact of how nervous you say you are. Tells me that you two are not yet ready to enter the world of sex. You will know when you are.
Sex will come naturally as it is something that is beautiful when it is between two loving adults, which you two are still not quite at. Yes, you will both be nervous the first time but for different reasons.
Your boyfriend reasons for being less aggressive than he is may be is that he has respect for you as a women and not just a sex object. This is a rare find in a 15 year old male which makes him a keeper.
Below is a website I usually recommend to young lady's thinking about having sex for the first time. Even though this is not your question I think you both might benefit by looking at this sight.
For now, enjoy making out with each other. When the time is right to go to the next level you will both know and you will not have to be the aggressor.
http://www.pamf.org/teen/sex/virginity/readyornot.html.
how do i turn my man when he is sleepin because right know and im really horny and i want to what i can do to turn my man on right know
It is mid morning now so this is probably a bit late. It may be useful for next time.
If it was me you wanted to wake and have me in the mood; a nice sensual blow job usually does the trick. Of course I would have to be sleeping in a position that gives you access to give oral sex.
My a** of a brother locked our internet modem. So I cant use it on my I-pod touch. But I got on with my 3DS. and I need to update my I-pod but I can't. I'm literally crying I need to get on so badly. So how do I get on a locked internet connection w/ my touch. BTW the wi-fi modem is a belkin
There is a good reason why your brother locked the modem. It is to keep other people from using your Internet service and having access to your computer devices at home. He may have told you otherwise as part of normal sibling rivalries' but that is the main reason.
Now look at the modem, somewhere on the modem is the code you need to input to you Touch to allow it to access the modem. It is usually a string of numbers and capital letters. On your touch there is an app that looks like a sprocket. Open this app and look for Wifi. This is the area you will find how to put this information in. Once entered you will be able to access the Internet.
If you cannot find this information call the service provider or Belkin for assistance. The information should be there as the label is almost impossible to remove.
When I was in the first grade, I could have easily been skipped to the fourth. Instead, I stayed in first, but only because my school integrated first, second, and third grade into the same classrooms. I ended up being really bored and after forcing the third graders to teach me everything they knew, I entertained myself by memorizing things like the digits of pi, maps and charts of Africa and Asia, and reading the dictionary. Six years later, after transferring to the local public school in my town, I actually got skipped from sixth to eighth. It's a great challenge, but a lot of kids just hate the fact that I'm there as a twelve year old and they're well past fourteen. My teachers, as always, are supportive, but I just don't know what to do anymore.
Don't ever play down the fact that your smart just to gain something. At the moment the children you go to school with are envious and jealous of the of the fact that you are smarter than they are. They are also 2 to 3 years older making them more worldly and more mature something that only time will help you with as you get older when your chronological age overcomes the age of maturity.
They may not act mature but by age definition they are. They have different interest than you do. Their parents may allow them different, shall we say freedoms, than you're parents may allow you because you are younger and less mature.
This I believe is the real problem, not the fact that you are smarter. It will be well into high school for you to reach the age maturity that your classmates are at or closer to them. Until then you need to continue to be the smartest kid in the class. After school you should look at making friends with kids your own age.
You can help them with homework, tutor them in subjects they have trouble in as well as be their friend. One of the nice things about being smart is that you can also be helpful to those who are struggling with a subject. Helping someone with something gives you a starting place, a foundation upon which to build a friendship should you wish too.
am i too young to give this boy i've met once or twice a handjob im 13 by the way(:? advice is needed.. i have'nt agreed to anything but he has wanked infront of me and 'stuff' before.. i really like him, i've gave a couple handjobs and blowjobs before but they were with bf's..
Short answer: YES
First you are way to young to be starting down this road. You just started your teenage years you need time to adjust to what is happening to you and mature so you can properly understand the consequences.
Second once you start down this road he is going to want more. It is a handjob today, a blow job tomorrow. Then it is take off you blouse and bra so I can play with your breast. Then take off your skirt or pants ant panies so I can finger you. Next thing you know your two are naked and he is. On top of you trying to get inside you. I think you know what can happen from there.
Third remember this: whenever you feel the need to seek advice to see if something is right or wrong it is probably wrong. Seeking advise is your fail safe warning device telling you that what you are thinking of doing is wrong. Listen to the warning, it is almost never wrong.
why do women go oh oh during sex
For two reasons.
The first is that they are truly enjoying themselves.
The second is they believe the guy wants to hear them making noise to make him feel like a great lover.
Hi,I'm 13/f,and I'm a vegan/vegetarian.I've been one for some years now.But there's only one problem.My parents hate it.My mom said my doctor said that's not healthy for me,cause I need the protein,but she doesn't wanna hear the other ways I can get protein,while still remaining vegan.My dad just flat out says no,without hearing me out.I'm also a Peta supporter.How do I tell them,and get them to hear me out,and agree with me?
As someone who is old enough to be your grandfather I may be able to put this in a different perspective for you. As a salesman all my life I have found that the objection one tells you and the true objection are generally different.
Your mom is either miss quoting your doctor or you need to find a new doctor. Being a Vegan/vegetarian can be a very healthy life style provided you make sure to have the proper balance of what your body needs. Protein of course is very important to you for proper diet but is available in forms other than meat.
There is also some other information missing here that could be important to what you are asking. I'm going to assume like millions of other families mom works outside the home. She and dad are meat eaters and that is the meal she prepares for them. Are you asking her to prepare a separate meal for you? If so that is a lot to ask of mom. Being vegan also means buying separate groceries strictly for you. Can mom and dad afford this?
While I applaud you life style I also believe it would be terrible wrong of you to put more work on mom in preparing separate meals for you. If this is the case and you currently have activities that are not allowing time for you to prepare your own meals? Then you need to adjust your activities to allow time to prepare your own meals.
Now the cost of providing the things you need to be a Vegan/vegetarian is an entirely different matter. Please don't assume mom and dad can afford to purchase that which you need to exist in your chosen life style. Your parents may not want to tell you they can't afford to support your meal requests as they may feel this is something you need not know. So you are going to have to ask them if this is one of their problems as well as asking mom is she objects to preparing separate meals.
Your too young to earn the money to purchase your own food or contribute to the cost of it. So if this is one of the problems you are going to have to compromise. There is a difference between being a Vegan and a Vegetarian. Vegetarians generally do not eat beef, but will eat chicken and fish. Vegans eat neither. Somewhere between being a Vegan and Vegetarian is a place you can find happiness for now and not put and extra burden on you parents. If that is the true objection mom and dad has.
If you get the chance and do talk to your parents about what I have suggested. Let me know how close I came to their true objections.
I have had sex with my boyfriend now for about a year. He recently started going away for university so I only get to see him about once a month, which means I have sex about once a month. Lately, my vagina has been very itchy. It is not a yeast infection because i've had one before. The skin around my vagina is sometimes itchy, but hurts when I scratch it, yet feels relief at the same time. My boyfriend is home again and we've tried having sex but it hurts me so much. I also don't feel as aroused by him, like I have to close my eyes and try not to picture his every flaw. I don't know, something just isn't right! Please help
You need to be checked for STDs. Even if you and your boyfriend use condoms they do not protect from all STDs.
See you GYN, get tested. Regardless of the results tell your boyfriend to take a hike as he has brought home someone else infection to you.
Alright... There are a lot of things that go into this. I'm a 17 1/2 year old Senior in high school. I am a little overweight and have some very deep personal insecurities. In August 2010, I met someone on an online game and started talking to him. We got together in December of that year, and just passed our one-year mark. I've never met him in person, mostly because he's 22, and he lives across the country. For this Christmas I asked for a plane ticket. Yeah, I know what you're probably thinking; I'm crazy for wanting to do that. Granted, I've heard about the stories, and I'm NOT the kind of person that jumps into everything. I won't do something unless I have full confidence in it. I know he's not like those horn dogs people always talk about because he's just not like that. I know for a fact that he's different because of how he talks to me; I've talked to 'those' kind of guys before, and I knew not to get involved with them because I knew what was on their mind. But he's different. The things he's experienced in his life has made him mature and the kind of person that didn't lie and was a fighter. Ever since 7th grade I've been dreaming of having a boyfriend. I've never had one, never been kissed, literally nothing. I've thought about how my parents would feel and I acknowledged them on that, but they won't even try looking at my side of the situation. They don't know how much I've been hurt over the years or how deep my insecurities really go. I know for a fact that if I was able to fly out and visit him that I'd be much happier. I wouldn't stay there because I know now is not the time to do that. But if I could just see him, just for a couple days, they don't know how happy that'd make me. I practically poured my heart to my mom last night crying and telling her about how horrible I've always felt, and also that since I've met him just talking to him has helped; unlike them. They don't trust my word that he's different. I know I'm still young, and I really do appreciate how they are feeling, but at the same time I want to prove to them that he's a good guy and that I can do this. I know a lot more than they think I know and I'm a very thorough person when it comes to important matters like this. They will say one thing, I'll give them proof why they're wrong, then they switch to another excuse until it comes down to "There is no reason; It's becasue I said so!" Really, I don't ask for things often because I've only ever wanted one thing; and like I said, they aren't even willing to consider my point of view. I understand their concerns. But I want to reassure them that it's ok and to give him a chance and trust my word that I trust him, because I know I can.
As someone old enough to be your grandfather let me give you what I see as what your parents might be seeing.
The first thought that comes to mind is the almost 5 year age difference between you. For you that may not be a big difference, for us as parents that is a big warning bell.
The next thing is that I don't think it is your parents don't trust you. They are probably thinking as I am. If this guy is thinking as you are; that it is time you two meet why is he not getting on a plane and flying out to meet you. This worry only increases the sound of the alarm bell I'm hearing.
My feeling is your parents do know how you feel. That you are for the most part a very mature young lady. That your desire to be loved and held by another other than family is coloring your good judgement and perspective to the point you are not seeing things as maybe you should.
Suggestion: It cost the same for a plane ticket to send you to him as it would to bring him to you. My thinking is your parents are concerned that in your going to him you could be hurt or even harmed. Ask your parents if they would be more comfortable with him coming to you. If he can't afford the ticket or needs help with the cost of the ticket would they help out as a present to you. If they say yes this eliminates financial reasons for him to say no.
If he comes up with other excuses for not coming to you then you will know he is more of a pen pal than boyfriend. I'm afraid the hurt will be the same but instead of being on the other side of the country you will be at home where your parents can comfort you.
Your parents and I can be very wrong though between the three of us we have seen a lot of life. We have reason to be leery of this situation. You parents are not being mean. They love you and are trying very hard to keep you safe.
Talk to your parents about my suggestion. It is not only a good compromise but it will allow for your parent concerns to be addressed as well as to find just what this guys true intentions are.
I think I'm depressed,I'M SCARED,I don't know what to do,How do you know if you are undergoing this?I need some good advice on this,thanks
Depression can't be diagnosed over the web as you must be screened by a clinician or doctor to be diagnosed properly.. None of us are doctors and we are not allowed to make diagnoses on this site even if we were.
That being said; I have suffered from Clinical Depression for sometime. I am in remission at this time. It took medication and talk therapy to get to this point.
Clinical depression is more a physical ailment than a mental illness as it is brought on by the lack or insufficient amount of two chemicals that are secreted into the brain. This is why the best doctor to screen you and prescribe for this illness is a psychiatrist. They are Md's and can prescribe medication and are best trained to deal with this medical problem.
Being scared all the time is just one symptom, there are many others. What brings this type of depression on? Many different factors. For many, especially teenagers it can be environmental.
If you are a teenager you are facing an entirely new world, especially if you are female. Your body is changing, you have all new hormones racing through you, your social life is changing along with probably a new school. If that is not enough, more is being expected of you. Your a young adult now. You need to start preparing to get into a good college. Boys are in your life and they have become all hands. Do I need to go on? Boys face similar problems but not all the ones girls do.
This is a lot of stress to put on a young person which we do more today then ever before. Stress is the primary cause of depression. We are for the first time now recognizing teenage depression rather than calling it as we did; a phase.
My advise. See your family doctor for an initial screening for depression. This is the only way to know if you are suffering from depression.
I need your opinion guys!!!It's very important for me,which one do you think is better?American English or British English?
I don't think there is a true difference in the language. What there is, is a cultural difference that over time has changed the way we here in America speak the English language.
Remember before the American Revolution we were a colony of Great Britain. I'm sure before then and for a time after we spoke in what is referred to as the Kings English. Over time we developed our own culture, mannerisms and speaking. I wouldn't have it any other way.
I believe we are true cousins with our own ways. I have enjoyed visiting Great Britain and Scotland and the difference between the two lands and my country. To me the British seem unflappable taking things in stride. Where at home the slightest thing sets us in a tizzy.
I actually have cousins living in London and Manchester. My only wish is we could visit more often.
No I don't think one is better. I think each is unique to their own culture.
hey, this is a bit of an odd question, but i livein england, and when i read people problems, lots of them include things like freshman and sophomore and i dont know what kind of age theyre reffering to. could you give me a quick explanation?
thanks
Maybe I can elaborate a little on what Hitler the Goat said to put it in a better prospective for you.
Her in America our primary education is broken down into three schools.
Elementary School - Kindergarten to 5th grade
Middle School - 6th grade to 8th grade
High School - 9th Grade to 12 grade
9th grade = Freshman
10 grade = Sophomore
11 grade = Junior
12 grade = Senior
Colleges and Universities are schools of higher Education where one receives an undergraduate degree and can continue on for graduate degrees of Masters and PHD or go to Law or Medical School.
I hope this clears things up for you.
There is an old saying about our two countries. That we are two countries separated by a common language. I would think we might add to that our education systems as well.
I just need adive on what to do if ur 15 nd u dont wana have sex and wana be a virgin
Nancy Reagan, wife of former President Ronald Reagan, had the answer to your question. "Just say no." Now her statement was to say no to drugs which is correct but it works just as well to sex until your ready.
Sex can be a wonderful and beautiful thing between CONSENTING ADULTS. The operative words here are "CONSENTING
im 18 yrs old, female
so to start from the begining, i just went back on birth control pills after starting college. i had only been taking them for 3 days, when on the fourth day i forgot to take one. it just so happens that that same night i had unprotected sex with this guy. i always use a condom, but this one time we were drunk and it was spur of the moment. anyways he never actually came because we got interupted, but i was still worried about his pre-cum because i know that can get you pregnant. so to be on the safe side i took plan B the very next day. i took it, and about 3 hours later i felt really sick and threw up. on the box it says to call your doctor or whatever if you throw up within 2 hours of taking it, so i was kind of figuring i would be okay. it has been 2 days since having sex, and 1 day since i took the Plan B.
so my questions are
A.) Was I still covered by my birth control even though i forgot to take it the night i had sex (im back on schedule with it now)
B.) Do you think he couldve gotten me pregnant even though he didnt actually cum.
C) Do you think the plan B will still work even though i threw up 3 hours after taking it.
I appreciate any and all answers. im just pretty confused and stressed thinking about this all. thanks in advance!!!
This probably falls under the heading of anything is possible. The chances though are good that you are not pregnant though only time will tell.
I wish I had a better answer for you to ease your mind. The facts are what they are. If everything is right for you to conceive and if you partner did leak out some precum and if. If being the big operative word if everything was is right you could be.
My advice is to wait and see if you get your period. Then take a home pregnancy test.