(Ask A Question.) (Feedback.) (Discussion Board.) (Make Razhie A Favourite.) (Advicenators.)
Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.
Favourite Collumnists.
(WittyUsernameHere.) (karenR.) (NinjaNeer.) (rainbowcherrie.) (DangerNerd.)
The Question
Girls: I have used tampons before of course, but never at school. I just started using them over the summer. We have not even 2 mins to go to the bathroom at school, and I'm worried when I'm in the bathroom changing a tampon, some girl will walk in and see me underneath the stall with one leg up. What should I do, any tips? I can flush mine, but what do I do with the applicator and wrapper? The garbage is right by the door, away from stalls. What can I do??
The Answer
What is the problem exactly? You know the majority of the girls in your school will probably have thier period right? Its nothing to be ashamed off.
Please don't flush your tampons. Schools should have proper disposals for them right there in the stall for you. Trust me, flushing your tampon and then watching the toliet overflow is waaaaay more embaressing then anything else.
Just roll your garbage up in some tissue paper and toss it out. If any girl looks at your wierd just smile and say "Being a girl is a such a pain sometimes." They will be able to relate.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
Ok i have liked this girl for a quite some time now. I have asked her out quite a few times. Two times i asked her she said not yet cause she was afraid that our friendship would fall apart. But recently she sent me an email and said she was thinking about considering my offer. So i waited to see if she would tell me a for sure answer. Never got one so i emailed her back and asked her basically is it a yes or no. She said she dont think so now but when she is ready to get in a serious relationship I would be the first to know. And every since the first time i asked her out or sort of hinted to her she has been in my dreams. There has been those where is just like a normal friendship thing on some but then again i have had quite a few bout me her and her little boy she has, being out on our own with a decent house, cars and what not. But the really weird thing was in a couple of my dreams there was another kid in the picture and evidentally i was the dad of it. And then i have even had a dream with me and her getting married. So please tell me with all these dreams i am having bout her what does that mean. I have told her exactly how i feel bout her i mean every little thing and showed and told her how much i care and really love her and her little boy. I will go was going over to their house on the weekend and helping her do whatever wheather it was work on their house, take the trash out for them or even feeding her baby while she slept. I dont know whether this mattered or not but i told her sex wasnt important to me. It was us getting together that was important to me. And as far as how i do feel toward her i have never felt like this at all towards anybody. So my question is, Is even though she aint going to go out with me now, Could the way i feel bout her maybe being the one be true?
The Answer
Sure it could be true. Just doesn't seem very likely at this point.
She must feel wonderful about this situation. She has a great guy just waiting around for her whenever she feels like going out with him. In the mean time, she gets your attention and flattery and plently of extra help.
If this is the way you want this relationship to progress, fine. But you have to see how it looks to me like you are being used. You have given her the world and gotten nothing in return.
Wait and see, but please don't invest all your future and fantasies into a relationship that hasn't even happened yet.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
The kid I like has a girlfriend, which hes told me he doesnt really like her anymore. And he wants to go out with me, but hes afraid if he breaks up with her, she'll get the whole school and all her dumb friends after him. He said hes going to hug me, thats hes not afraid to show that he likes me too. But I don't even compare to his girlfriend! Soo....should I ask him to break up with her? Should I just wait? Someone please help me! I'm going crazy!
The Answer
Do you really want a guy who is too chicken to break off a relationship and strings you along without his girlfriend knowing?
Really. I'll never understand these questions.
Anyways, it is his choice to break up with his girlfriend or not and the simple fact is that he is choosing not to break up! His words are pretty, but his actions are not backing them up.
Wait if you'd like, but if I were you I'd wait a good distance away. These two sound like they are headed for a messy breakup, with a guy who can't communicate and a girl who thinks it's okay to drag all her friends into her little emotional wars.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
Ok..I dated this guy back in june and we had sex but I cheated on him and we broke up..but in like august he called me and he was like you should come up my house and chill, so I did. We ended up having sex that day and I left and he didn't call me for like a month..and like a week ago he started calling me to come up his house and "chill" but I don't know because my friends think he's just using me for a "booty call" he called saturday, sunday and today but today he just wanted me to come down his work but I turned him down all times... I don't know what to do..is it a booty call? or does he wanna start things back up? IM so confused..plz help..i'll rate fives!!!!!
The Answer
Certianly sounds like a booty call doesn't it?
The simple way to find out is to ask him straight up "Do you wanna go out agian, or do you just want sex?"
I should mention that the better time to ask that question would be before you have sex with him agian. Hang out with him someplace neutral or public, where sex is not an option and see if he seems into you as a person, or just you as a girl he wants back in bed.
Even if he does want to start things back up, your question hasn't told us how *you* feel about him. Don't go out with a guy just because he expresses an interest. Go for the guys that you want, not the ones that just happen to want you.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
I dont know if this guy thats 1 year older then me likes me or not. I dont know if i should go up to him or not. he goes to my school and he always looks at me and stuff and i used to talk to him online and stuff and now i dont know what i should do. should i go up to him at school and start a conversation?? hes not coming up to me and saying anything so is it my job to make the first move??? ill rate 5's for good answers!!
The Answer
It's nobodys 'job' to make the first move. But I can promise you this, if no one does, nothing will come of your little attraction.
It sounds like the feelings are mutual, so go for it already.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
I was good friends with a guy named Stan. We kept in touch with letters since we lived far apart. He told me all about Megan, his girlfriend, and she sounded so awesome. Then I met her and she WAS awesome. She and Stan got married later and I was kind of jealous. Well, now Stan is dead (killed in a car accident) and Megan has moved really close to me. We've been around each other a lot lately and I really like her. I want to ask her out, but I'm not sure if it's a good idea. What should I do?
The Answer
I think simply asking her would be a bad move, she might not be ready, she might get offended or hurt or not know how to act around you.
Continue to be her supportive friend. Talk to her about dating and her views. Does she feel she is ready? Is she looking? Or is she gun shy now and wants more time alone?
Listen to what she says, not what you want to hear, if she gives you any signs asking you to back off, do so right away.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
How many of you think you should believe something a drunk person says about how they feel about you?
My friend once said, "Alcohol is the truth serum".
Your opinions, please.
The Answer
Alcohol may lower your inhibitions but in no way is it a truth serum, if anything, it seems to make people more prone to stupid lies.
Alcohol can influence choices people would otherwise not make, they can tell off an employer or friend, even if they respect them, tell a complete stranger "I love you man!" Alcohol also makes the recipient of these stupid comments more likely to believe them.
I wouldn’t believe much that someone told me while drunk; actually I’d get rather offended if they tried to convince me of something while drunk. If anyone ever told me they love me or hated me, while drunk, I’d laugh in their face.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
I'm 14 years old and my mom will NOT let me get a thong. Almost all of my friends wear them except for me and I think my mom is being unfair by not letting me get one.. What should I do?
The Answer
If your mom buys your clothes, and you live in her house. You are pretty much out of luck. Unless you buy one yourself or get someone to give you one.
But is this really worth fighting with your mother over? I mean, just because everyone else is wearing a very uncomfortable peice of clothing that no one will being seeing anyways, you want one?
To each thier own I geuss.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
Ok. Please, if you are in any way, shape, or form, involved with whether or not people are hot, do not answer this. Also do not answer if you have never felt a true love, because it's so impossible to describe, I'm not even going to try.
Ok, so there's this girl who I loved. A lot. She knew how much she meant to me. I kept on thinking about her. So yesterday I decided to ask her out. I've never asked anyone else out. Except I couldn't bring myself to ask her out on the phone or in person, and I couldn't think of any sweet, special way to ask her like they did in Bye Bye Birdie. So I e-mailed her. She said no for two reasons: number one, she's not sure if she really likes me or not. She doesn't not like me, she's not sure. Allegedly. Second of all, she had a big fight with this other girl (I didn't get all the details, but apparently it was because of a poem...?), and now that girl is really pissed off at her and will do anything to get revenge. So she doesn't want to get me hurt. Because she could never live it down, letting me get hurt. She said that (I quote) "even if they are all bitches and sluts, insults hurt." Sticks and stones, man. Sticks and stones.
Ok, now I'm practically crying. Seriously. Love is like a swirling pink mist of joy and happiness, where nothing could ever go wrong. The pink mist is easily corrupted, but everyone inside it is blind to that and has no idea. So while I was in it, someone slabbed paint all over it. Now I'm trapped within a swirling black torrent of misery and depression, with no way out. When I'm in the torrent, I have no reason for anything. I used to be the biggest joker in all of my classes. Now that I don't know love anymore, I have no reason to smile, to laugh, to joke around, to live. Why bother?
Rerereading the letter, I notice that it says at the end of the second reason that she changed her mind about #1, and she does like me, but she just can't go out with me until she's solved that thing with the other girl. So I'm feeling a tad better. (heheh. tad is a fun word.) But if you recall, I said that the torrent has no way out, meaning that even if I could get out, there would still be the black paint all over me. I'm still depressed. I managed to poke fun at the word "tad" like I do with ten thousand words a day, but I'm even too depressed to sing along with the song "The Telephone Hour" in Bye Bye Birdie, even the part where the guys are like "ooah. aooh. doobidy doobidy doo." I love that part, but I'm just way too sad. I really don't know what to do. I really shouldn't be sad anymore, I mean really. I found out that she does like me after all, why am I still crying? I haven't smiled all morning, usually I go downstairs, answer a few questions, spend about an hour playing Age of Mythology, watch All Your Base fifty times, eat breakfast, watch mindless cartoons, and then go around cracking jokes everywhere. I can't do any of that. I'm too depressed. Like yesterday after I first read the letter. I was kind of depressed but not much, so then I went outside with a friend (at 8:30 at night) and we played some Horse. First round I won. Second round, I barely lost. Third round... HORSE to nothing. I lost bigtime. And by the time I got into my bed, I was crying again. It's growing on me over time... like a Tribble. Ok, I'm making too many analogies, I'll just cut to the chase. How the hell do I get over it???
The Answer
Get over yourself. Really. And have some patience. That is only way you will pull through this. I wont question your love or maturity, but I am going to question your common sense.
She said she liked you, but isn’t willing to date you right now, for whatever reason. That’s not flat out rejection, that’s uncertainty, that’s human. Maybe she is making excuses or maybe she is just not ready for the intensity you are showing, or maybe she is really worried this girl will kill you. No one is a mind reader.
Everyone can go into details of what happened when they ‘felt’ rejected. I wore sunglasses for a week cried through each of my meals, when I was able to eat… Blah Blah Blah. Everyone does it, it feels terrible for everyone, and most of the time all you can do it ride it out and fight it! If you sit around the house thinking about how miserable you are, I guarantee you, you will feel more miserable.
The fact is, you are a human being, if nothing pans out of this crush you will eventually get over her. If you don't get over it, you should seek professional help for your thought patterns. This kind of obsessing thoughts about the one you love and your future and your own possible failures are rather normal for someone rejected at first, but should not be a long-term situation or else they can become a serious mental health problem.
As for telling your parents, if they are not keen on hearing directly about a crush, tell them in indirect ways. Soandso did something so cute today, Soandso said this and I’m going to hang out with Soandso. They will eventually get the picture and want to talk to you about it.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
how do you become a site moniter on here?
The Answer
http://www.advicenators.com/faq.php?f=67
That will explain how to become a lvl 1 moderator here. Although there has been alot of talk about changing it.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
well my BF broke up with me 2 weeks ago, i am upset that he did that and i miss him a lot but i'm still going out and gettin on with things.
my question is, is it right for me to look for a new BF now, when i'm still thinking about my ex? or should i wait?
The Answer
That is really up to you. If you feel you are ready by all means go for it.
My personal advice would to be give yourself some time. People make jokes about rebound relationships so often because it happens so often. You are right out of an intense relationship and are trying to get that intensity back rather then building a new, solid relationship with a new person.
Don't rush yourself, single life isn't hell, focus on yourself for a bit.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
Ever since I got back to school (middle school now) I have changed. I mean by my attitude. My mom has threatend beatin the shit out of me if I don't stop being a smartass. I didn't even know I was one. Am I gonna stay like this or am I gonna change back to my old self. :(
The Answer
The funny thing about the smartass phase that most teens go through is that it is generally a good thing. You're not a child anymore and this is probably just dawning on you. You are exerting your independence in new ways, when you were little you might have lied about having a cookie or refused to wear your snow pants, now you are arguing and being sarcastic.
The fact you recognized this means you probably aren't all the bad, but this is a huge lesson for you (one that some people never learn) in how your attitude influences the people around you and how to care what people around you are feeling. The most self-centered way to look at it is, you don't get want as a smartass.
It might take some work and a few swift kicks in the pants but you will get over this and be a better person for it.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
So my friend graduated high school last year and she invited me to her graduation party. Her boyfriend was there- who is a year behind her so he's a senior this year- and I almost immmediatley liked him from the start of the party. I feel like a horrible person.
This situation only got worse. He's in my Drama class this year and I'm not sure if I flirted with him or not. We did this thing where we brought in what described who we are (I brought in a blank journal) and when I was done I passed by him, and smiled: but no, it gets worse: *he smiled back.*
I feel horrible and I just don't know what to do. Help!
The Answer
So far there is nothing at all wrong with anything you've done. You are blowing this way out of purportion inside your own head.
Are you not allowed to like and admire someone else's boyfriend? Are guys who are dating someone not allowed to smile at thier female friends.
Give yourself a break. It's really great that you have such loyalty to your friend but it's time to let this go.
Chances are the guy doesn't even realize any of this is going on. So be friendly and casual and forgive yourself. Feelings are fine when you realize that it would be wrong to act on them, and don't.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
Well let's see, I'm going to get jumped by a bunch of black girls, and one night some guy called to tell me that. So I called my boyfriend crying and shaking and all that cause I'm SCARED! Anyways, he calls the guy back and I was so out of it that I slit my wrist. I know it's not healthy to do and I will not do it again. The thing is, I told my boyfriend because I don't want to hide anything from him. He was so mad at me, he came very, very close to breaking up with me. Well, I promised never to do it again and he said alright but one more chance and then he breaks up with me. Anyways, he couldn't come over yesterday so he might come over today. He said he wants to see my wrist, but he can guarantee he's gonna be pissed when he sees it. But it's really nothing. It's a little scab right now, it's not even deep. It's kind of a double standard though because a couple nights ago when we got into a fight a couple days ago he slit his wrist, and came darn close to killing himself, but he called me back crying instead, which scares me. The real question though is, how do I react if he gets really pissed (because I don't know what the big deal is anyways really...it's not bad and it's the only time I've ever done it.) Sorry it's so long.
The Answer
The fact is you are both acting out of fear. The break up sounds like an empty threat. He cut cause you had a fight, you cut cause you were threatened.
Here's the difference, you were experimenting, you have realized it is wrong and have decided not to do it agian. Do you think your boyfriend has figured out the same thing?
First off, you don't have to show him the scar. You told him the truth, you don't need to show him the evidence too. If he gets pissed, point out his double standard and get pissed right back!
This is a dangerous and mean game this boy is playing, although it is rooted in affection and concern for you, that is no reason to simply accept his undeserved anger.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
ok well most people say that boys prefer it shaved so does that mean like all shaved off or can u just leave like a little bit of pubic hair but then it goes all prickely so................?
The Answer
Really, do what feels best for you. Experiment (very carefully) and find what you are most comfortable with.
Some girls take it all off, some girls find that that hurts the skin and leave what they like on, some just trim it back. It really is up to you, not 'guys'.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
I cheated on my boyfriend and now he is really mad at me. he is thinking about breaking up with me. What can i do to fix this?
The Answer
Don't cheat.
Really it is that simple. Beg, plead, apologize, admit it was totally your fault and you were a fool for doing it, and then, don’t cheat anymore.
Your boyfriend is understandably upset; even upset enough to dump you, and chances are no one would blame if he did. If you are in a relationship that you agree is going to be exclusive and one of the partners cheats you've broken a trust and trust is very very difficult to get back.
Besides, apologizing, admitting you were wrong, and promising never to cheat again, the only thing you can do is give it time. Your boyfriend might not be able to forgive you; you might get stuck in patterns of punishing each other. You might just find your relationship can’t take this strain. The best thing you can do it exactly what your boyfriend asks you too, if he wants space, give him space, if he wants to talk about it, talk about.
And if he breaks up with you, accept it gracefully and realize that cheating can kill everything worthwhile a relationship. If you value the person you are with then behave like you do.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
does anyone know where i can get a timeline on things that happened in mariah carey's biography? im doing this report and i just need a guide.
The Answer
http://www.angelfire.com/wv2/mariah/MCTimeline.htm
Learn to use a search engine. This was the first website I got when I typed in "Mariah Carey timeline".
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
who sings that song breathe(2am) or something like that..shes a new singer and sounds kinda like michelle branch etc..! thanks
The Answer
Anna Nalick
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
ok well lately i have been trying to loose weight and i try to eat less. i exersice more than i used to. and ever since i have been eating less i have gotten less hungry at all meals and hours of the day. i dont know if thats a sign of anorexia but its sorta scaring me. my mom trys to help but i tell her i'm fine and i dont need anything. i am also getting sick more often..? my mom knows i'm going on a diet but every time she mentions it i tell her i'm not. everyones worried about me but i'm fine and i wanna loose the weight. what do i do?
♥much
WaY toO SelF cOnciOuS
The Answer
You see a doctor. It is hard for us, based on your question to tell if you are really eating too little. You might be just fine, and not being as hungry because you eat less and are more active, or you might be depriving your body of nutrients it really needs.
Being thin is not worth making yourself sick, stunting your growth or messing up your life. So get a professionals opinion on what and how much you should be eating.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
sorry if the length is long, but please read it.. 14/f
ok well first off im trying out for soccer..i have practice today,tomm., and tues..for it we have to run around the perimeter of the whole school(with the tree lines and all)and then after we do sprints and stuff like that..theres a lot of running and i can do some of it but get tired after awhile..i really want to make it badly but i have a feeling that im not going to..there is about 46 girls trying out and they only pick about 20-25 and i sometimes have trouble breathing like i feel like im going to faint...i was wondering if you guys have any tips on making it
please dont delete
my second question was that i have never had a b/f ..but people did ask me to 'go out' but most of them i didnt like at the time or they are an ass or they just like me for hmm my chest area..i kno everything and crap but i just kind of wanted some tips on the b/f thing...
The Answer
In the future, you'll probably get more help if you post two very different questions as two different questions.
First off, for soccer, you could try, maybe next year to practice running and build up your strength. Beyond that, just have a real positive and upbeat personality and don't complain. If you really have trouble breathing, see a doctor, you might have mild asthma.
I don’t know what to tell you about the boyfriend thing. You seem to have it under control. Don’t go out with someone who you don’t really like, or who seems only interested in your breasts (you should rather young and frankly all most young boys are going to be interested in your breasts, just make sure that’s not all they are interested in).
(View All Other Answers.)