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Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.
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The Question
see, i have a boyfriend..but i think somethings up with him, ever since his good friend started liking me, hes been acting weird lately, he usually talks to me all the time, and sits with me too..i asked my best friend..and of course she went over to him and he said she needed some space.....I dont get it..please help me understand this whole situation!
The Answer
Talk to him about it.
That is the only way you will understand what is really going on. No matter how much you trust your best friend, this really isn't the place to be relying on her. Whatever is going on in your relationship it's about you and him, not your friend, or any other guy who might like you.
If your boy says he needs space and you can deal with that, alright, but don't just back off without some sort of explanation about how he is feeling and just how long this break is going to be.
If you want to be with this guy, take the initiative to speak to him directly about what you want to have happen and what he wants too.
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The Question
Does Mba degree done from India recognized in Canada?Can anybody start working based on that degree once they immigrate?
The Answer
It's very complicated I'm afriad. One of the worst things about the Canadian immigration system right now, in my opinion is that is it very very difficult to have your degrees recongized here in Canada.
I believe most university degrees obtained in India are technically recongized here but I'm telling you honestly you might find it very very difficult to get work befitting your level education.
The large problem is language. Employers are concerned you will not be able to communicate clearly with people. My advice to you is to seek english speaking and writing lessons as soon as possible and continue them once you've come here. Also, speak to your university, they probably have some idea of what is recongized and what courses you may need to have your MBA recongized in Canada.
Use every resource you have, speak to friends in Canada, speak to immigration officers, it will probably take time, but the more information you have the easier it will be.
Good Luck!
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The Question
alright guys. well. tonight i think i'm going to the movies with my boyfriend. and he wants to see into the blue. you know the one with jessica alba and the REALLY hott guy with the nice 6pack abs? alright. well the problem is that if we go i know the whole time he'll be like in his head thinking goddamn she's so fine blahblah about jessica alba. but i'm not like that when i'm with him. and i bet that later on he'd tell me how hot she looked in different sceens and stuff. so i'm like... well i'll see if i can go to that one even though i really don't want to.
i really don't think thats a "couples" movie.
thats like. horny guy alone. do you agree?
and if like you were me (if you're a girl) would it bother you that like he'll talk about that stuff after the movie, when he know's that you wont talk about how hot the guys is?
please help as soon as you can.
The Answer
Look, it doesn't matter if the movie is 'appropriate' or not. It doesn't even really matter if you think your guy will spend the whole time checking out Miss Alba (although that raises a whole bunch of questions and issues I wont bother to address)
What does matter is You Don't Want To See That Movie. For whatever reason, you don't want to see it with him. I don't blame you, it looks bad, it's gotten bad reviews, I don't want to see it even though I'd love to spend an hour checking out Jessica Alba in a bikini.
If you can't even tell your boyfriend your preference in a movie, you have a serious issue darling. Your reasons for not wanting to see the movie aren't important, you don't need to explain them to him. Develop a spine, say you rather see something else and then work out a compromise.
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The Question
i wanted to know if there are any side effects of depression pills like losing weight gaining weight drowsynesss any of that and also which different type of pills have what side effect?
The Answer
Talk to a pharmacist.
It's there job to know the specific effects of each medication. The standard kind of anti-depressants are called SSRI's and can have side effects that effect your appetite, your weight, your sex drive, make you nauseas or cause headaches and many others. A pharmacist will also know the kinds of reactions with other medication you might ever need to take and can give you advice on coping with side effects of antidepressants.
The good news is, for most people, the side effects of SSRI's fade in about a month.
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The Question
this question is to someover in there 20's and female.
i was wondering if there was anyone here that aplied to what i just said that was willing to help me out. i have so much running through my head and its to hard to talk to my parents or people my age and i could really use help from someone older that could give me some advice.
if you could please leave your sn and when its best to talk to you. thanks
if your younger than 18 and answer this i will rate you a 1!
The Answer
Well I fit your request and am also around far too often. Drop me a line if you'd like, info is in my column, and I'll see if I can help.
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The Question
well here is the deal. im am so confused about my sexuality. like i think guys are cute and i may like them when i start going out with them. but when i break up with them i feel as if i never cared about them and that they were someone just passing through my life. But when it comes to females it's a diffrent story. i actually feel something for them. and when i break up with them i really do feel sad. does this mean that a full lezbian instead of a bisexual?
The Answer
Sexuality isn't always to clear cut and definable as we would like.
It's understandable that your relationships with women would be different then your relationships with men, in my opinion it comes down not just to being sexually attracted to someone, but being emotionally attracted as well.
If you could see yourself falling in love with a girl just as easily as a boy, you are probably bi. Maybe you are technically bi but prefere girls... Either way, I don't think the defination is all that important. Keeping looking for someone who makes you happy, gender is only as important as you make it.
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The Question
ok so i have this friend...n she said she was lesbian but i fel bad cuz then how can she have sex 1 day?
The Answer
There are other ways for lesbians to express thier feelings for thier partners physically then the method they tell you about in school.
'Sex' is a very generally word and can describe many acts. Wait till you get older darling and you'll be exposed to many things that adults do and define as 'sex'.
Don't worry about your friend. She is perfectly capable of being a lesbian and experiencing the same love and pleasure as anyone else.
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The Question
ok so im in college and i really liked being single n all...liie going to parties and meeting new guys...no nothaving sex with them. Anyways i also really like this guy I know who Ive actually be dating for 4 days now. The point is i think i need to breakup with him cuz i have already cheated onhim and made out with other guys. but, its so hard to do because i really like him a lot. I know i cant stop cheating on him and partying and stuff...So, i do need to break up with him right?.....my second question is how. I think iwanna say that I cant commit myself to one person right now because that is the truth, but I dont want him to think I have already cheated on him eventhough i did. so maybe i should say something else?...like I just dont want a boyfriend?
this is really troubling me badly so sorry its long and please help me
The Answer
You know what you got to do and exactly what to say. There is no problem. You don't want a boyfriend right now, you don't want to be true to one person right now, for all you know he feels the same.
Just make it clear that it's nothing against him and that he is a really nice guy but you're not interested in a relationship.
Good for you recongizing what you want and being clear about it.
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The Question
I just wondered this.
I answer questions, and its getting interesting. The people who generally need answers the most are the immature ones. But when you give them an honest answer, they reject it, and rate you a 1.
Example is this question, asked by a stupid little girl in the pinnacle of her selfish years. She wants to know what she should do because she wants to hook up with a boy who has a girlfriend
http://advicenators.com/qview.php?q=376325 Thats the URL. Feel free to respond to it.
I couldnt care less about my rating, but its the response the rating means that kinda bugs. Dismissed out of hand because my response didnt tell her its ok to fuck up what might be a genuinely good relationship because she wants to hook up with the guy.
To all of you girls in similar situations, Dont be a slut. Its not flattering.
The Answer
Amen.
I hate getting ones from people when I tell them thier behavoir is slutty or just damn inappropraite. Or when I tell them it should be thier boyfriend they should be worried about not if the other guy is really into them or not.
And people wonder why so many of us have trouble taking young relationships seriously. It seems like most of the young people in and around them don't even take them seriously!
Shrugs, or maybe I just avoid adults who behave this way. It really is disgusting...
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The Question
sry about the length but i need help!
ok well my mom and dad are divorced and my dad lives in west virginia and i go see him every other weekend..and i HATE going down there with a passion!
my dad is a very mean person, he cam be obusive at times but not towards me.. towards his ex-wife whcih are now just boyfriend girlfriend. well last weekend i did not want to go and alot happend he said something horrible.
my gram died a little over a year ago and him and my mom were fighting and he said "why dont you go die like ur mother did" and i flipped i dont thinik i've ever cried so much in my life.
well my mom says that i have to go one more time until she can get an attorney and go to court so i dont have to go down.
but i dont want to go down now esspecially now that, that happend. b/c i know he's gonna flip.
so what should i do?
The Answer
You can not go. It is fundemently your choice. Yes your father will probably get pissed off and try to start a legal battle, but if you stand up and tell a judge what you just posted here you'll be fine.
Visiting your parent was set up with the idea that *you* still had a right and desire to see him. It was done for your good, not his. If you don't want to see him anymore, then that is your choice. You just need to inform a lawyer so your mother doesn't get in any trouble.
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The Question
It's probably likely that none of you have a medical degree and thus cannot really answer my question and be 100% correct. Unless ofcourse you have this problem too.
I don't know if it's normal or not to have random stabbing pains. I get them in my side and in my back. I've asked my friends if they have random occurences like that, they said no.
It's not my appendix(the symptoms don't add up) and I don't have my gallbladder anymore. I'm just curious I suppose to see if any of you share these random spurts of pain and if you've had them checked out.
Note - I'm not going to a doctor(now at least) becuase I don't have insurance, or a job at the moment.
The Answer
Such pains are very commonly a symptom of a kidney infection especailly if the areas that you get the pains are sore when you apply pressure to them.
Althought kidney infections can be very easy to treat at first, left to long they can require sugury.
Sighs. Good luck anyways. See a doctor as soon as you can.
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The Question
I like the advice you gave me about my mother always being around, but the funny part is I have tried telling her before and she cried and said that she wasn't coming back over anymore and she was back the next week. She lives alone, she has tons of friends because they call here all the time. She hates my fiance and tells me all the time. If we're not home, she'll wait outside until we get here. It's just a mess. I guess I'll have to tell her again. I just don't know how to say it. What should I say?
The Answer
Agh. Such a mess.
How about "My fiance lives here, you do not. If you don't like him I suggest you leave."
Or, finding her waiting at your door "How nice to see you. We are very busy tonight but I will call you when I am ready to have company." Do not open the door while she is still there. Make it quite clear she is not invited in.
Also, make sure all her friends know her home number. They should not be calling your place to speak to her. They may call her at her home. You are not her secretary. Give them her home phone number and leave it at that (I would do this even if she is at your house at the time. It's very rude for her to give out your number to her friends. It needs to be abundantly clear she may not take social calls at your home.)
And yes, you need to tell her agian, and put up with her crying. I stand by my advice to have a designated time for her, invite her for dinner or such. If she arrives at any other time, remind her of your invitation and make it clear that that is the time when she welcome not whenever she pleases.
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The Question
ive been crazy about this one guy for 3 yrs! THREE YEARS! well my feelings have been on and off but i usually like him. i mean i only dated my ex to get him jealous (i know thats mean = \ )
anways this guy, nick, always says we'll get together and stuff but just leads me on and plays games. im fed up with it. should i just stop talkin 2 him completly? i want to so i wont get hurt anymore.. but i dont because hes a REALLY good friend = \
what do you think? thanks!!
The Answer
Would a really good friend lead you on and play mind games with you? Do you regularly get fed up with your really good friends because they treat you badly?
No one who leads you on is a really good friend.
Break the habit and stop talking to him. After so much time there is no reason for you to keep accepting his bad behavoir. Move on.
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The Question
Well my period is very irregular. Like The last time I had one was 4 months ago. It's always like that, sometimes it can go 7 months without one. I don't really mind it because it's less worry for me...but once every month ill get the cramps but no blood or anything, but then again it is a worry because Im always afraid of when itll be comming and I have no idea when, its unpredictable. But I was wondering if I could still get pregnant even though I dont have a period much? What do you think could possibly be wrong? Such factors I have considered would be stress, anxiety, depression, irregular eating patterns, could vegetarianism have something to do with it?
The Answer
There is always the possibility of getting pregnant. Never assume you can't get pregnant just because of irregularity. That is a mistake you will regret.
Cramps without any blood concerns me a little. All the factors you've listed could have quite an effect on your period, especially if they are all present at once. It takes a lot of energy for a woman to ovulate and it sounds like your body isn't getting what it needs.
See a doctor about the cramps and a nutritionist about your diet. Although irregularity isn't normally a big deal, your case seems to have some serious causes and risks.
Take care of yourself.
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The Question
Me and my brothers best friend got really involved and I gave him my varginity!! Now I am not allowed to be near him becuase my brother feels that it would hurt me more. The fact was that he used me and I dont hate him. I want to see him so I could tell him how he really made me feel but no one will let me! What should I do? (i am now almost 16 and he is 20)
What should I do? I want him to know how much he hurt ME!
The Answer
Write him a letter or an email perhaps, but I wouldn't suggest you try and talk to him in person.
It seems likely that he is a selfish little prick, and will probably never understand the extent to which he has hurt you. You'll have to come to terms with what has happened on your own. Put your thoughts down in writting, even if you never get a chance to send them to him, it will help you and your happiness should be your first pirority.
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The Question
Ok me and my ex broke up last tuesday. yesterday me and him got into a big arguement and now he hates me. but now I miss him a lot and i dont know what to do anymore.. I dont want to miss him but its hard not to because hes my next door neighbor.... and yeah, so im lost. he has a new gf and not to sound concided but he went from a girl (me) who is rated about a 9 to a girl who is about a 4 or 5 and I picked on him for that but im just really jealous and i have to walk home with him every day!! HELP ME!! what do i do?! we used to argue everyday because i used to say he doesnt care but i realized he does!! omg im really confused!! please help and what can i do to get him back?!
Signed,
i miss him.
The Answer
I am sorry darling but I'm sure he had a good reason for going from a 9 to a 5.
On that note, comparing and teasing his new girlfriend is probably not a great way to win back his love and affection.
Take this lesson to heart, treat someone with love and respect and they will treat you the same way. Trust someone, and they will trust you.
Argue with someone, distrust them, and insult thier girlfriend and they probably wont like you much.
At this point, treat the ex with kindess and respect, you probably wont capture his heart, but you'll be a better person for it.
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The Question
Are people on here as stupid as they appear, or is all just an act?
The Answer
Take a normal person, add the complete annoynimity of the internet, and that normal person suddenly becomes a complete blathering idiot.
Check out this valuble visual aid:
http://www.penny-arcade.com/images/2004/20040319l.jpg
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The Question
So I'll be dating my current boyfriend for three months a week from today. He's the first boyfriend I've had that I can honestly say I really loved. The problem? Things are just getting annoying and boring. When we first started dating, he would do all these cute things with me, like whenever I joke around and try to fall he'll run and catch me... just little things like that. But I'm starting to wonder if he takes everything too seriously. If we're arguing about something little, I'll joke around and say "Take it back or I'll fall over!" And he'll get this seriously sad look on his face and whimper "No..." He can never take a joke it seems and I'm starting to get annoyed with it. I guess I just want him to act more mature. After all he is 19 and he could be acting more mature than he has been lately. I don't really want to consider breaking up with him right now, so is there any other suggestions you have on fixing this first?
Signed, Annoyed But In Love
The Answer
Tell him you are annoyed.
People can't fix problems they don't know are there.
Chances are, based on your discription, he isn't completely happy either. So listen to what he has to say and consider your own behavoir as well.
You can try as many little signals and mind games as you like, but in the end, if you don't talk about it, you'll never really get anywhere.
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The Question
Right, what do you do if you were friends with this guy, and you really liked him as more than a friend, and then one day, with a little message-taking by your friend, he lets on that he wants to kiss you. Then you end up with him later on, kissing a lot.
Then its so awkward in the morning you text him and say that you hope it won't awkward because you're really glad you're mates... (Let's just say it took a lot of work to get your friendship going after a mishap earlier in the year)
And he totally agrees, he only wants to be mates so you say the same... and then when you next see him...and every time after that, it's so awkward you want to scream, and now you don't talk to each other.
In fact you each seem to pretend the other isn't there.
Do you:
Forget it and move on?
Get your friends to do a little talking in-between and find out whats his problem
Do you just one day walk up to him and pretend its all the same?
WHAT DO YOU SAY TO SOMEONE?
Every time I see him I tell myself I'll talk to him but every time I have NOTHING TO SAY!!!
Please help :S
The Answer
You stop worrying so much!
The awkwardness will probably pass with time. Until then, fight through it. Be friendly and courteous. Don't get all your friends involved they will only stir up trouble.
If you want to be mates. Be mates. Treat him like a friend. If you have nothing to say, don't say anything. Ignoring this problem will probably be the best way to let it fade away.
Stop dwelling on a past that you can’t do anything about.
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The Question
Ok, long story short, I fell in love with one of my best friend over the summer. Yes, I'm 13. Yes, I know you're about to tell me that this is mere infatuation rather than love. I'm just gonna spare you a 1 rating: It's not infatuation. I know love, and I know infatuation. And this is definitely love. I can feel it as right as 2+2 is 4. Anydangways, she knows very well how much I love her, but she still only likes me as a friend. Now that the school year's started again, our attitudes have sort of changed. We used to joke around all the time, but nowadays, we see each other in the halls, and either we just say "hi" or we stay silent or involved in our conversations. Personally, whenever I'm talking to my friends in the halls, and then I see her coming, I'm suddenly turn silent and I say something like "Yeah, I know, I'm weird." or "Yeah. That's it." Or something to end conversation and not embarass myself. Also, I've been hoping to see her: whenever I'm near where she lives and talking to someone about something, I think, "I'd better make this conversation a bit smarter in case she comes near. Just to be safe" or something like that. And I'm always trying to impress her. I don't know why, we're best friends, and she knows how much I love her. What's going on? Why do I just suddenly lose all my intelligence, self-respect, and logical reasoning, not to mention my will to do what I please, whenever I think about her? It's like in that manga D.N.Angel, whenever Daisuke thinks about Risa, he becomes Dark and loses control of his body. Sorry, I babble a lot. I'd better stop now. Please help me!
The Answer
All that is going on here is you are behaving like a typical human being. Actually, if I may say so, you are behaving more like a typical 21 year-old human being then a 13 year-old one.
So I'll spare you the 13 year-olds don't know what love is bullshit, but I will say this:
You will feel this way again.
You'll lose yourself in another person again. You'll be in love again.
You'll probably look back in a few years and laugh at yourself for the way you are behaving now,
and then go out and do it all over again.
As love grows and develops with between two people who feel the same, you no longer loose yourself in the love. You find the confidence and security in their love for you and can be true to yourself and let everything, even the weakness and stupidity shine through.
Aint none of us perfect. But we are all loved.
The desire to impress is normal, but it shouldn’t be the hallmark of love. If the object of your affections has thoroughly turned you down, it’s time to relax, take the time to get over it as best you can and go back to being yourself, and see who the real you attracts.
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