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I like the advice you gave me about my mother always being around, but the funny part is I have tried telling her before and she cried and said that she wasn't coming back over anymore and she was back the next week. She lives alone, she has tons of friends because they call here all the time. She hates my fiance and tells me all the time. If we're not home, she'll wait outside until we get here. It's just a mess. I guess I'll have to tell her again. I just don't know how to say it. What should I say?
[ ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Agh. Such a mess.
How about "My fiance lives here, you do not. If you don't like him I suggest you leave."
Or, finding her waiting at your door "How nice to see you. We are very busy tonight but I will call you when I am ready to have company." Do not open the door while she is still there. Make it quite clear she is not invited in.
Also, make sure all her friends know her home number. They should not be calling your place to speak to her. They may call her at her home. You are not her secretary. Give them her home phone number and leave it at that (I would do this even if she is at your house at the time. It's very rude for her to give out your number to her friends. It needs to be abundantly clear she may not take social calls at your home.)
And yes, you need to tell her agian, and put up with her crying. I stand by my advice to have a designated time for her, invite her for dinner or such. If she arrives at any other time, remind her of your invitation and make it clear that that is the time when she welcome not whenever she pleases. ]
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