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Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.
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The Question
ok. my bf and i just recently broke up. we have a dance coming up and we were going to go. he lives in a different town than me. so we were going to go to his on the 21 and mine on the 22. they changed his to the 22 too. so his mom said he had to go to the one in his town. we have talked only once since the breakup. but we are ok-ish with eachother. we had a hard breakup. when we were talking about his dance. he was like ill take you but i want to wait and see. and i was like if someone else asks you. and he said ya. and i was like ok. and he was like ya but ill most likely take you. and i was like probally not. cuz a lot of girls like you and want to go with you. and he was like o ya i forgot. do you think he just doesnt want to go with me.
The Answer
Sounds a bit like a jerk to me.
So, he will maybe take you, if nothing better comes along.
Stop worrying about his feelings and start worrying about your own! Why on earth would you let him treat you like undesirable company and lead you on like that? Have some more self respect and realize you shouldn't wait on someone who tells you he *might* take you if there is no one better. You can do better then an ex you treats you like sloppy seconds.
Face it darling, he is shopping around and will only take you if he doesn't want to go alone. Don't let yourself be used like that.
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The Question
Is it true that if your period is abnormal .. like it is a period that you never expect it to come and it skips a few months .. that you won't be able to have a baby when you get olderI'm 15 and I started my period at March (9 months ago) And I haven't had it since July (5 months ago) And I know there isnt anything wrong with me because my friend is the same way and her doctor said there is nothing wrong with her. And I read articles about your period not getting regular until a year after. But my question is .. Does this mean I won't be able to have kids? Because I want them and I don't want that to happen!
The Answer
That is completely untrue.
Young girls periods are often irregular, some woman are irregular their whole lives. It can occasionally make conceiving a bit harder, but certainly not impossible.
Ask your doctor next time you see them if you are really concerned but you sound fine to me.
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The Question
I went on a date with this guy that had liked me for a long time.
The date was at a local restaurant. He was starting to look a little bored so I tried to use humour to lighten the mood.
I told him that sometimes my dad shaves his face with an electric razor when he's driving. I thought this was hilarious, and other people that I've told also thought it was quite funny.
Well his reaction? He gave me the dirtiest look and never said a word. I felt really stupid.
But I didnt think what I said was that bad.
Was my date overreacting or did he have a right to look that way?
The Answer
Meh. Who knows? Sounds like he found it inappropriate.
It could have been something else of course, but unless you ask him you’ll never know. But regardless, it sounds like the date wasn’t a phenomenal success and no mater how long he has had a crush on you for it seems like you have a vastly different sense of humor. Do you really want to go out with him again?
If not, it doesn’t matter at all what he thought.
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The Question
well there's this boy like but he has a gurlfriend already. what am i suppose to do? i think i just wanna be friends with him. what do i do?
The Answer
Then you go ahead and just be friends with him. No problem. No pressure. Smile, chat, treat him like any other friend. Done.
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The Question
I have had a huge crush on this guy forever. He is sort of my friend, I mean, we speak to eachother and all, but we are not super close. Anyway one of my bestest -estest ever friends told me she has a huge crush on him to. Then I told her I liked him to, so we are both happy we both like him, no problem. So now I get kind of nervous around him, where I didn't before when I still liked him. And now he is acting like he likes my friend, and he talks to me a lot less. What is going on for heaven's sake? Why is he not talking to me as much anymore, why do you think I'm getting nervous around him, and what the heck do I do?
The Answer
Well what the heck do you want to do?
Your question gives no clue as to what it is you want. Are you happy to see him and your friend flirting? Are you just upset that you are nervous? Or do you want to be fighting for his attentions?
It sounds like he likes your friend. So maybe you are subconciously backing off from him to so not to complicate things and hurt your friend. Maybe you don't feel 'good' enough to compete with her. Maybe you are just not that into him. Whatever the case, no one can read minds.
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The Question
I've been dating this guy for a year and one month and I care very much about him. He is always asking me to "make" things for him. He's an artist who is constantly making things for me, and I guess he expects me to be an artist as well. :P Im not. Point is, I made him this teddy bear. Completely from scratch.. not even a pattern to work with. Would a 20 year old boy be happy to get a teddy bear as a present? I saw somewhere online that guys dont like presents that come off as too clingy. Please help. I rate!
The Answer
Sounds perfect too me.
He has been pressuring you for something handmade and you made it for him with affection. Give it too him, no excuses or anything. After a year I think you shouldn’t be worried about gifts that come off as a little clingy, you should be able to express yourself without fear to him.
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The Question
My son got married to a young woman who is the oldest of 8 children. His wife Penny is a wonderful young woman but her mother has these 8 children ages 3, 15, 16, 17, 19, 21, 23, 26 have several different father's and their mother always depended on the oldest daughter to handle everything. Now that this daughter is gone the whole family is falling apart. The mother goes gambling every night and the 3 year old is left alone. Last night my son and his wife Penny went over and the 3 year old little boy was in is under pants alone in the basement with a party going on on the top floor with the teenagers. He was cold and hungry. My son does not know what to do as they are expecting their own child in two weeks and really did not want to take on this child. I can not sleep thinking about this child and if I say the word I am sure the mother will say great - you can take care of this child for the next 18 years. I am 57 and have recently quit work to take care of my 86 year old mother. My husband and I are quite comfortable financially but taking on a child is quite a committment. I have an entire play room with a bed and many toys for my grandchildren. This child does not even have his own bed but sleeps with his mother in a basement room that does not even have a closet or a set of drawers. The house is an unbelievable disaster and would probably win the award for the messiest house contest. I have not been able to sleep all night or for the last couple of days thinking about this child. I am thinking of phoning the mother and telling her that we can take the little boy for a while if she wants that but I think that it might be a very long while. My husband thinks that it would be okay to take him but that the mother might fall apart more if she does not have this one to look after. What do you suggest?
The Answer
If you believe that the mother will allow you to take the child, and you are comfortable and willing too, I honestly believe that is the best course of action. Yes, this will cause the mother pain, but that cannot be your first concern when dealing with a child who is living in circumstances likes these. The toddler’s health is most important, he is innocent and didn’t choose this life, and his mother needs to take responsibility for her own situation.
I don’t need to tell you to take this decision very seriously, you have a lot on your plate and have already raised children, you know what this decision might involve. You know it might not be a short term thing.
If you decide that taking the child is too much of a commitment for you to make, please put the mother in contact with charities or government programs in your area that are equipped to help her. If she is too proud to contact these services, it might be nessicary to call child protective services. I know that sounds cruel and extreme but the child is in danger living in such an environment and it might take something that extreme to smack some sense into this mother.
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The Question
anybody know how to get permanent marker out of clothes?! please please! x x x
The Answer
To remove permanent marker stains from most fabrics, try a mix of rubbing alcohol and household ammonia. (Ask your mom, she'll probably have these around.) Test it on a hidden area of the shirt first too make sure it doesn't bleach it. If it does, cut out the ammonia and just use the rubbing alcohol. Soak the area thoroughly and pat it, don't rub at it.
DO NOT use water, especially not hot water, as that will spread the stain and sets it. Only use water after you have removed as much of the stain as possible.
Let the clothes hang dry, if the stain is still there, drying them with heat will set it. If you can see the stain after it dries, just try again.
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The Question
Ok, well my boyfriend, well I guess, ex-boyfriend and I broke up today. He told me that lately he's been confused about how he feels towards me as in like which way he likes me and all. And he's still really confused and he says he doesn't know why, he sayed this happens whenever he starts to really like someone alot. He's the first person I can actually say I love. I'm still very much in love with him, and it hurts. I don't know why he is so confused. Did I do something wrong? We've been going out for four months ever since december the 4th. I just don't understand this and it's killing me. What's wrong with me, what did I do, what can I do?
The Answer
You've been going out for four months ever since december the 4th?
I'm confuzled. Never mind.
There is nothing wrong with you, and there is very little you can do but be responsive to what he says and what he wants. That is, what he really says, not just what you hope to hear.
He sounds confused, which is understandable, especially in young relationships. Give him some space, keep talking openly and try to listen without passing judgement, but if he really wants you gone, then there is nothing you can do but learn to deal with it.
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The Question
I had something really upsetting happen to me at school today. Well I am 14 years old and in grade 8. A guy that I don't know very well has been getting chummy with one of my friends. She totally embarassed me yesterday and said that Jack wanted to go out with me. She said it right in front of him!! Well I was put on the spot and went a little red. Jack wouldnt look at me and I never answered. T really didnt know what to say and he didnt actually ask me it was my friend.
Well the next day Jack and another guy walked up to me. His friend was laughing and said "did Jack ask you out yesterday'? I again felt put on the spot and didnt know what to say. Jack never said anything again so I said "yes".
Well then Jack said "I never asked you out you BITCH! And walked away with his friend and they were both laughing.
I feel totally humiliated.
Why didnt he speak up yesterday? And wouldnt he be more angry at my friend for putting us both on the spot? Or maybe they were all in on the joke?
The Answer
He is a jerk.
Maybe they were playing a joke but it seems to me like he was just too embarrassed to admit what he'd said, or even speak up at all, so he took it out on you.
Obviously not worth your time or worry.
Go back to school, if anyone mentions it too you tell them that he is a confused little boy and you're glad that the rumor that he wanted to go out with you wasn't true.
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The Question
Hi, I am 15 years old and I am really confused right now. Let me start at the beginning. When I was 13, my best friend at the time (we'll call her Susie) started to like this boy (we'll call him Steven) that I have known my whole life but never really noticed like that. So she sent me to be the messenger and ask him questions for her and eventually he asked his friend to ask her out for him because he "liked her too" (later I found out he was just physically attracted to her). While I was talking to him for her, I fell head over heels in love. So they "went out" (they weren't actually allowed to date, so it was just a title really) for about 2 weeks and then Susie called me and asked me to break up with Steven for her. I was reluctant, but she was my bff at the time so I agreed. I decided to break it to him gently, and when I did, he ended up being really upset. I got to comfort him and console him until he got over her. Now he and I both hate her because of the events that have happened since then, butafter he got over her, I began trying to get him to fall for me. We were talking a lot for a while and I fell even more deeply in love with him. But I only saw him in church (3 times a week) and at church functions, and so after our little social circle (us two, and about 3 other people) fell apart, we stopped talking. I didn't want to talk to him with no excuse because he might find out I like him. So I am still totally in love with him and everytime I see him, hear him, or anything I feel like I'm going to expolode! I have to write poetry to get my feelings out because they're so strong. I have written 20 poems just in the last month! What do you guys think I should do? But before you answer, consider that I am huge, fat, ugly and my self-esteem is very low. Also, both of our parents won't let us go out together or be alone for too long. What can I do? Much love,
*Isa*
The Answer
It seems to me you can accept that this is completely impossible, because of your parents, your attitude and your friends, and continue to write mournful lovelorn poetry and torture yourself...
OR
You screw up all the courage you have, talk to him again, take a risk, and face each problem as it comes up.
Those are your choices. I aint got nothing else. Live with your choice, continue to live as you are, or a take the risk.
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The Question
A guy that I'm quite good friends with invited me over to his house. We are both adults over 25. We were both watching Dr. Phil on the television. I remembered this one show a long time ago where these young teens were having oral sex parties and thought it was no big deal. Dr. Phil got mad and told them that oral sex was still considered sex because it involved a sex organ. (I agreed with him by the way) I imitated his voice and said in a Dr. Phil tone "but it IS sex because it involves a SEX ORGAN!!".
All my other friends when I told them this burst out laughing because I totally sounded like Dr. Phil. Well after I did this I looked at my friend and he looked really uncomfortable and didnt say anything at all so I changed the subject. I figured we were pretty close and could talk about just about anything. We've talked about blow jobs before.
Do you thing this might mean his feelings towards me have changed from liking me as a friend to something more? Why else would he react this way?
The Answer
Maybe he was just embarrassed? Maybe he disagreed? Maybe he just farted and was hoping no one would notice?
Really, there are a lot of possibilities and I don't think you should take one moment of embarrassment as proof of a crush. If you have further proof or reasons to think so then by all means get down to it and ask him about it.
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The Question
So, there's this kid John and he's one of my best guy friends but the thing is..i've liked him since I was in 4th grade. Last year, John and my friend Lauren went out for 2 months. Over the summer she broke up with him. Then, about a month ago, John asked Lauren back out and she said yes. I don't think Lauren likes him alot though because they don't talk --alot-- but he really likes her. John knows I like him but I don't know what to do. Am I way out of my league? Should I stick with him? Should I move on? What do you think? p.s I'm a female..He's a male..I'm 13 and he's 13
The Answer
If you've made your feelings clear to him but he persists in chasing after another girl, chances are he isn't interested in you.
I don't know why you think your out of league. It is a simple matter of him liking someone else; it doesn't say a thing about you as a person.
I'd suggest you move on and accept he is blind to the good thing in front of him. If clues in later maybe you'll have a chance, but there is no point in waiting.
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The Question
ok well there is this kid I really like at school . And when I told Him he said he Might like me 2 ! and that he would tell me on monday ! well it is wedsday and i still have NO answer ! so what does that meaN !?!?!?!?! does he like me or not ! HELP !
The Answer
How should I know? he didn't tell me on Monday either!
Anyways, we're none of us mind readers. I suppose you could just take no answer as a No and give up.
Or you could screw up the courage and go ask him yourself.
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The Question
I'll admit, I am only 14, but I love the military. I have wanted to be a fighter pilot dating back to when I was five. My father recently retired from the Navy, and I want to join USAF, but I can't. I have diabetes. I find is very discouraging and discriminating that diabetics can not join. If one wants to join, I think the oppurtunity should be there. Right now, I am in Junior Air Force ROTC and my high school. I love the class, and I we (the "flight") were informed that if we joined the service, we would automatically be started at a higher rank than the others. But I do not have the choice to join, and I am considering to write to George Bush explaning how I feel. Should I?
The Answer
I wouldn't expect writing to the president would help you much. The president gets thousands of letters a day, some of them tell him about the gray little aliens they just saw, or the fact that their toilet still leaks even though they told the super about it weeks ago...
My point is, you probably wont make an impact. Try letter writing and meetings at the local levels first, the recruiter for your area or the school you wish to attend. They'll be better able to address your concerns and might have better action plan for you to follow.
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The Question
My boyfriend makes comments about actresses and other females and it bugs me and I was wondering what do I do?
The Answer
Ask him not too?
It's probably harmless chatter but if it really bothers you I don't think it's out of line for you to say you don't like it and ask him to tone it down. Don't just write it off as one of those things that most guys do. Most guys seem to think it's okay to spit on the street, but I wouldn't date one who did.
At the very least tell him it bothers you. That alone should be should be good motivation to stop.
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The Question
I have been involved with a guy for over 2 years. We have a near perfect relationship. He is my best friend and the person I know God sent to me to spend the rest of my life with. My boyfriend says he feels the same way. We recently graduated from college and were lucky enough to have found jobs in the same city. We have been living together for over eight months and especially the last three months, we couldn't be happier. I now find myself constantly thinking about marriage and looking at dresses and engagement rings. Is that normal?
He says that he is ready to marry me but he doesn't want to spend the money it cost to buy me an engagement ring. The ring that I have chosen cost $3000 and he claims that is too much to spend on a ring. I told him that I don't care how much he pays for a ring as long as he puts a lot of thought in the ring he chooses. Lately, he constantly reminds me of the $3000 ring and makes me feel as if it is my fault that engagement rings are so expensive. What should I do or say to him to convince him that I just want a nice ring? Also, what can I do to convince him that this is not a time to be a cheap-skate and that a decent ring will cost over $1000?
The Answer
You said two different things in this question:
1 "I told him that I don't care how much he pays for a ring as long as he puts a lot of thought in the ring he chooses"
And
2. "What can I do to convince him that this is not a time to be a cheap-skate and that a decent ring will cost over $1000"
Do you see the confusion?
Darling, you can't make a man spend more then he wants too on you. That is not a good way to start a marriage.
How about instead of telling him or convincing him you ask him what he thinks would be a reasonable cost for a ring and for that matter the wedding.
These are serious discussions in which you will most likely need to compromise. Take a look at the ammount of money you have and the different ways you'd like to spend it. And listen to his concerns and thoughts. Then go shopping for ring togeather that meets both of your standards.
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The Question
I do not understand the double standard that a guy cannot say, "No" to sex with out the being deemed as having problems.
In my last three relationships the women have left me because I have wanted to take the relationship slowly. Each time it has centered around the fact that I have said, "No" to intercourse.
In the last two relationships I explained before it went anywhere that I would not engage in intercourse until I felt our relationship was solid and committed. Each of the women said they thought this was wonderful and understood. I made it clear up front because the first woman I said no to was hurt and rejected. We talked about it and she said she was ready and that she had never had anyone say no to her. This is why I explained to the next two, up front, front how I felt. I do not want to hurt anyone.
When the foreplay began and it went no further than oral sex they become upset and angry with me. In the second and third relationship this has happened after only two months. I do not want to have intercourse until I am sure that we know each other well enough and that the possibility of a future exists. One that might lead to marriage. I am at that point in my life where I would like to settle down and have a wife and family. It seems as though they do not believe I am serious because they attempt to take it further each time we are together. I have to keep saying, "NO". They have asked me if I was gay, impotent, or just didn't like sex. Each time I am made to feel as though I have a problem or something is wrong with me. None of these things are true. After this happens a wall builds between us until no communication takes place and then the relationship ends.
Please help me understand why it is wrong for me wanting to wait just because I am a guy.
The Answer
Your ladies are getting confused.
How could they not be? You seem to be comfortable with every level of intimacy except sex. So they assume you have an issue with intercourse.
I doubt they meant it as an insult; some of them might not even have been trying to pressure you at all. They were trying to learn about you and understand you. If they were looking forward to a long-term relationship with you, understanding that facet of you personality would be very important.
Who can blame them for not understanding, your behavior is baffling.
Lay off the foreplay and oral sex, you are being a tease. It almost seems like you are looking for sexual release without the level of emotional intimacy that intercourse represents to you. As a woman, I would take that as a bit of an insult, excuse the crudeness but "I'm good enough to blow you but not good enough to make love too?"
There isn't a double standard there: If a woman played that sort of game she would be dumped too.
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The Question
I am a married man who a few months ago was asked to go to lunch by a female coworker. She's 23 and I am 36 and she has a boyfriend and if it means anything we are both considered very attractive. I initially didn't take her up on her offer, but then agreed after she asked me a few other times. We went to lunch and we talked about work and stuff and she paid. Well this is now a regular occurrence and she now brings up things besides work, like sex with her boyfriend and when and how they do it. She also just recently asked me to go play tennis with her after work. Needless to say, I think we're becoming close friends. I'm just not sure what her intentions are if any. What's even more confusing is that a bunch of us went out to the bar the other night and she didn't even talk to me, spending most of her time talking to another male coworker. I would think that if we were friends she's act normal around me and talk to me in an outside work setting. But it's almost like she was afraid something may happen. I guess my question to you is am I just a victim of different generations? Is it normal for a twenty something female to hang out with a coworker, talk about sex, ask him to do extracurricular activities, and not want to be with him on a more intimate level? I'm thinking I should nip this in the bud before we do something we both will regret.
The Answer
As a twenty-something myself I have to admit I'm just as confused as you are by this behavior. It seems possible she is looking for something more, it seems possible she isn't.
What struck me about your question was that you implied *you* were feeling tempted, or at least uncomfortable, and that is a good a reason as any to take a step back from this friendship.
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The Question
My boyfriend and I have been dating for one and a half years. He still has his exgirlfriend's engagement ring in his drawer. When I ask him what he is going to do with it he just tells me he don't know. He says, "what should I do with it?" I am sick of looking at it. She has caused so many problems for us. I just want the ring to be gone. He says he doesn't want to just give it away because it cost too much money. At this point I am ready to throw the piece of metal in the dump. What would you suggest to do with it.
The Answer
Be sympathetic but firm. The ring needs to go for both your sakes.
Next time he asks what he should do, have a plan ready, with phone numbers and addresses for jewelry stores and pawnshops. If suddenly he insists he wants to give it away, have thought of a few people who might appreciate it.
It is understandable your boyfriend is stalling. It must be terribly awkward. If it seems like its embarrassment holding him back, offer to sell the ring yourself, or have a neutral female friend do it for you.
You are just going to have to be a little more proactive.
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