jbdreamer's advice column

im 21.ive been with my boyfriend for 6 months. we havent had sex yet. he really wants to do it but im scared that it will hurt. what if i marry someone who doesnt want a wife who isnt a virgin. will sex really hurt the first time? if i only use a condom will i get pregnant? how does to pill work? if my parents find out they will kill me. please help.

With this many questions and concerns, it is obvious you are not ready yet. So your boyfriend wants sex, but what do you want? Please educate yourself about sex and protection before going any further. And decide for yourself how importaint your virginity is to you, don't worry about how others feel about it. Yes sex can be painful, and akward. Please take caution, and don't listen to jeanine278972 about the "pull out method." That is NOT a form of birth control.

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ok im 13/f and im goin out w/ a 12/m...yea i no its werid but im one of those ppl that says age doesnt matta lol. so we started goin out a couple of days ago but hes liked me for a long time. the only prob is when im around he doesnt treat me like his gf...i dont know wut to do cuz i really like him but i wanna be treated like his gf...not jus a friend.

The problem is he is a 12 year old boy. You can't expect a relationship from a child. You are going to have to wait a few years before you can expect a meaningful relationship with someone.

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i straighten my hair everyday. after im done, it doesnt smell good, like my shampoo and conditioner anymore. how can i keep the pretty smell in my hair?

Your iron is too hot, you are smelling your burnt hair. Use a lower setting next time, and use conditioner to heal your hair.

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WE've only had 1 sleepover and we have been best freinds forever!! WE never hang out and i don't think her mom likes me. I'm not rude to her. I just don't get it! I need your help! HSould i be best friends or not????????

Being a best friend with someone is not something you just decided to be. It comes naturaly and over time with shared expirences. You should have a histoy with someone before you declare them your best friend.

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Ive noticed in the last few months I am always tired when I wake up. And its not because lack of sleep because no matter how early i go to sleep or how late i wake up or vice versa I always feel the same. Any suggestions? What can I do to make myself feel better and not be so tired in the morning?

You may be sleeping too much. Too much sleep can cause fatigue. You should average 7-8 hours a night. Your diet and excersie can also effect your energy level. A couch potato is more likely to have less energy than someone actually moving about doing activities. A great way to wake yourself up in the moning is to do 5 minutes of excercises as simple as jumping jacks to get your blood flowing.

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the other night i had a dream that i made out with this cute guy i know. i used to have a crush on his cousin, and thats how i met him. after that dream, i can only think about making out with him. does that mean that i like him or is it just a dream and im over-reacting or WHAT?? i am so confused?

-nikki

Just because you dream something, it doesn't make it ture. Don't take them literally.

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Hey everyone. I have an embarrassing problem that's really taking over my life.. it might seems small to some, but it's not at all. I have bad stretch marks, and they're making me majorly self conscious... around everyone. I have them all over, but they're especially bad on my stomache and sides. They're taking hold of me and my boyfriends relationship. Does anyone have any home remedies or in-expensive products I can use?? I'm using palmers cocoa butter right now. Should I use it every day?? Please give me advice, i'll rate high. Thanks so much

Yes, the cocoa butter is the right thing to do, as well as any lotions that have vitaman E. But yes, use it every day, even twice a day would be good. I had the same problem, after using the lotion every morning for 3 months, I noticed a big differnce. The strech marks are not gone, but have faded drasically.

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hey i was reading all of your advice and feedbacks and it seems like yr really good at helping people so i was gonna ask you a question.. so here it goes lol.

ok im a girl (13) goin to jr. high. i like this guy (ben) whos in my language arts class. we went out for like 2 weeks in the beginning of the year and i heard rumors about him saying crap about how oh he only liked me for my looks. so i did what most (13 year olds would do and i broke up with him. then he came up to me in the hall and told me he never said that.. still mad i just walked on bye and into my 3rd period class. *i no it was a pretty bitchy thing to do but i was pissed and have had some really bad rumors going around.. making me more mad* so then later i find out that no he never said anything and so we just decieded to be friends. and it worked for a while. i found other guyz... but then for aboutthe bast 2 or 3 weeks ive kinda had a crush on him. (being such good friends were always talking and hes so nice and sweet and its kinda hard not to.) i told my best friend (kalyn) about it and she took it as (oh im gonna ask him out for her) although i told her not to.. she did anyway.. and he said i was a friend and he didnt want to ruin that relationship.. but its hard to just try to stay friends. and i dont no what to do..

and ontop of that like i said i had seen other guyz after i broke up with ben and his name was brock. afte we had gone out for like 4 months he had kised another girl and started to like her. AND HE TOLD ME! (why would u tell yr gf anyway?)of course all my friends knew about it and told me to break up with him.. so i did.. i mean he did like another girl.. and this girl.. was.. well my other best friend.. (taylor) so much for best friend.. now he tells me im the one for him cuz he cried wheen i broke up with him and he loves me so much... crap omg. and hes like ill change for you..

so when in my profiles i have single` liken someone.. brock thinks i like him.. but really i like ben.. what do i do about these to problems

i dont want brock to think i like him.. and i want ben to KNOW i like him (which he dosnt)

i no its alot.. but i need help.. thx,
-Becca

It's sounds like you have the same problems as any other 13 year old girl. Don't obssess about boys so much, that will solve a big chunk of your problems.

Also, don't belive everything you hear. Take every rumor with a grain of salt. If you have a concer about someone, talk to them about it, don't ignore them, or let someone else do the talking for you. The key to any relationship is communication.

And if you like someone, the best way to approch it is to just tell them. Anyone would appreciate a comliment like that, even if they don't feel the same way. If he turns you down, at least you don't have to keep wondering. I think it is harder to keep your feelings bottled up.

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sometimes i get forget to put deoderant on n i get mad bo so i just dont lift my arms.
any solutions?

Get a small travel size deoderant to keep in your bag. Then you always have it with you.

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My sister has an acount on here and she is only ten years old. I was watching her on the computer one time and i saw that there were many unappropriate questions for a child her age. Don't you agree? I have been trying to get her to stop giving advice because most of the time she doesnt know what the person is asking and she doesnt know what she is talking about. She is naive because she has not had the life experiences needed... she is only ten. Her user name is 'lifegivesyoulemons' if you see her on here please tell her that this site is inappropriate and tell her that she should not be coming on here anymore. Thank you. It is greatly appreciated. I am only doing this because i care about her. If you have any ideas how i can get her off this site please tell me. Our internet doesnt come with filters or anything like that so we need a different way to keep her off of unappropriate sites.

Thanx.

Please go here:
http://advicenators.com/faq.php?f=53

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Thank you very much for taking the time to answer my question. I will take what you've said into consideration and not put it in.

Thank you, but I don't know who you are, or what question you are refering to. You can rate answers to your questions and leave feedback there in the future.

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On New Years Eve im going to my boyfriends house. I'm a virgin but that night i think i want to lose my virginity with him. I'm 14 almost 15 i know i'm young but i'm tired of being a virgin. We've only been going out for a week today but we went out for 7 months a while back. Please don't reply if your just going to call me a hoe or yell at me because i don't need that. Would i be making the wrong choice if i do? I already know about the whole getting pregnant thing im not stupid..but other than that am i making the right choice? thanks..

No, I do not think you are making the right choice. If you have to ask if you are ready, then you are not. "If you doubt, don't."

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Hello. Thank you very much for answering my question. But the responses I got were as follows: Yes, "Frowned upon", and no. Could you tell me which one it is? And if it is frowned upon, what could happen? Could i be banned or hated by people?

Thank you very much for your time!
Ali *toxic x babii x3*

I don't know how to put a chatbox in your coulmn, maybe you can't. If can figure it out, then go for it. But yes, most of the columnist on this site dislike all the extra junk on peoples columns, it's just annoying and not the point of the site. I personaly don't go to such columns. But you shouldn't be banned.

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MI go to Texas like, every summer. And two years ago my older cousin met a boy (let's call him ****). He hung out with us, and I didn't think much about him. This year they became A LOT closer. They love each other. And now that I think about it, **** is really hot and funny and nice. I LIKE him. And my cousin has him, what do I do??

So you have a crush on this guy, but your cousin is in love. Leave them be, he is not going to magicaly leave her for you. Why even start trouble?

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are we allowed to have chatboxes in our advice columns?

It is frowned apon. But, if you can figure out a way, then go for it.

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aarrrgg!! okay i kno this is wrong but it makes me sooo mad! okay so i am an only shild and everyone thinks that yea i am spoild but im not! my parents work soo hard to make shua im not spoild that i barley get anything! i mean they give me the basics you knoe clothes shelter and food. well i always have to save up my own money for anything that i want. like last summer i wanted a trampoline so i worked really hard and i save up money and bought my trampoline. well my best friend saw that i got one so she asked her parents to get her one and they did! well yea i was disappointed cuz i worked really hard and she just had to ask for it. this went on when i saved up for my cell phone and this really cute sweat shirt and with designer bags and everything!! aarrgg!!! why is everyone soo spoild! idk i prolly sound like a brat but i feel like im being cheated! and she always get the sam exact thing as me the very next week!
help me please

How can you enjoy the things you have when you spend all your time worring about what others have? You don't sound spoild, you sound selfish. Stop wasting your energy worring about what others have, it's pointless and doesn't matter. Enjoy and appreciate what you have, that's what's importaint.

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i am going to the movies with my boyfriend. i was wondering if i should make a move on him? should i kiss him? Im new at this so i dont know what i should do. my friends are coming along too and i dont know if i should make a move because they are also there. would it be weird if i did make a move? please help!

I wouldn't do too much while your friends are there, that would make them uncomfortable, as well as the other people in the theater. I would maybe just try holding his hand, or put a hand on his knee. Maybe just a little kiss on the cheek.

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how can i find out who asked a question?

You can't. Only level 2 or 3's can, but only for the purpose to moderate. User's names that ask questions are kept confidental.

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Hey, Ive been a columnist here for a long time. My username is Icey0990 and XoLoVeYaXo435 stole my answer to a question! (its the question about that one person moving to rhode island from cali)
is there anyway to stop her? its not right that she stole my answer.. Who knows, she could have stolen other peoples answers too! I know this isnt top priority..but is there a way the mods can control this , ban her, or something?
-thanks.

If you have a problem with a user you can report them here...

http://advicenators.com/abuse.php

Please also supply a link to the question you are refering to.

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