tasuki's advice column

Okay I don't know if this is sex or something but like i've been getting this white snotty stuff in my underwear. I don't know what it is or what it's from. I'm 13/f to if that will help.

It's discharge and it's normal.

[view]

would you consider someone who

*tap, jazz, and hip-hop dances
*used to listen to britney spears, went to 2 of her concerts, owns her autorgrpah and danced to her songs on his porch
*loves pretty woman & thats so raven
*and gets excited when going to the mall or shopping

gay? do all of those things add up to gay also he gets overly excited about gossip. . . do you think hes gay? he denies it but it seems like he is, i want to believe him since hes my friend but theres so many signs!! aghh

No, I most certainly do not. If he is very happy while he is doing all of this, then until his puppy dies or he fails a test, he is gay. If he is attracted to men, only men, and doesn't feel at all sexually excited when looking at a woman while he is doing all this (and when he isn't) and classifies himself as gay, then he is gay. Nobody is "homosexual", "heterosexual", "bisexual", "transexual" or "other" unless they say so. I personally do not believe in any gender barriers. If a guy wants to wear pink that is fine with me (I think it looks good, also). If a girl wants to wear her hair very short, that is great also. A lot of times we put these classifications on people and we don't even realize it. They are pretty much burned into the backs of our mind. It's good to strive to be conscious of it--for example,when you see a commercial for a cleaning product and it shows a woman cleaning. That's an insult to you, my friend, no matter what gender you are. If you are a woman it is saying that you should be cleaning. If you are a man it is saying that you are too stupid to know how to clean.

I don't think your friend is gay. I think he is himself. I know where you're coming from and I'm not saying you're stupid for thinking this. It's a natural conclusion that people come to. But you only listed four traits of his personality. That's four out of...a bazzillion! You just picked the traits that stand out to you most at the moment. We are fairly complex animals, we have a lot of different levels. I should add that a lot of people who identify themselves as gay do not do any of those things you listed.

To put it simply: maybe he likes Britney Spears and Raven because he thinks they're hot.

If he is going through a sexual identity crisis (I call it a crisis but I prefer to think of it as a re-awakening--I've been through several), then it's his choice when he tells you or even if he tells you at all. Don't try to force it out of him if he doesn't want to talk about it.

PS-Also, I think he's wonderful and really brave for being so open about breaking gender barriers.

[view]

why would you get banned on this site for talking in all caps? that seems stupid.

Just like in real life, there are certain things that are considered rude. For instance, deliberately making farting noises in a classroom. Especially when you're graduating high school in a few months and should really grow up. That's rude.

Yelling in someone's face is also rude. You wouldn't like it if somebody yelled in your face, I bet. Typing in caps is the equivalent of yelling in a person's face.

IF I TYPED OUT MY ENTIRE ANSWER TO YOUR QUESTION LIKE THIS IT WOULD BE READ AS YELLING, and would be unpleasant to anybody reading it.

You can get kicked out of a restaraunt for being rude. Websites are the same way.

[view]

Do you believe that "God" has already planned out our destiny, or do you believe we make our own destiny?

And do you believe everything happens for a reason, or do you feel that's just some clever line a thinker thought up to try to reduce the amount of stress and anger in our lives?

No.

See, your question kind of limits me since I don't believe either one of those. In fact, I don't really believe in anything. I've been known to think up several different ways that we could have been placed on this Earth for many different reasons and then a thousand more things that could happen after we die. A lot of them contradict each other, but that's okay. They could all be possible.

I think that we should all just believe what we feel most comfortable with, and whatever anyone else believes their business. I think if everybody did this there would be no fighting about religion. Unfortunately, I don't see everybody in the world suddenly becoming enlightened any time soon.

Now, the second question. I don't think it necessarily means that everything that happens was meant to happen exactly that way. I think it just means that no matter what happens, (because usually these things are out of your control, say your workplace burns down for example) there is always some way out of it and it's up to you to pick the best way. Like, you might have three choices: become an alchoholic, kill yourself, or live in poverty.

Destiny is sort of a mix between the two--things happen that you can't control; it's up to you to decide what to do next.

[view]

ok so all of a sudden the sound on my computer shut off. i was just listening to a song and then it just shut off. does anyone know what happend or how to get it back? i already tryed unplugging it and plugging it back in again but nothing happend. ill rate 5's!

Well, if you have Windows xp, try going to Control Panel--Sounds, Speech and Audio Devices--Sounds and Audio Devices--Hardware--Troubleshoot. I did that when my speakers stopped working. It told me there was a problem and then asked me to click fix, I did, and it was fixed! Yay! But if you don't have Windows xp or you do and that doesn't work, I'm sorry but I can't help.

[view]

before you get all eww...this is kinda gross...

i lay on the deodorant twice a day: in the morning, and during pe (5th hour). but i still hyave b.o! its not awful, but its kinda gross. what should i do?
btw im a 13 yr old girl

Try using stronger deodorant. Personally, I prefer men's deodorant. It works better and I think it smells better, too.

[view]

Please don't delete this question, because I am actually very curious about this. Why do people join this website who aren't even serious about helping people or receiving help? People who need help come here and some ignorant people joke around and even insult these people in need. Don't you think it's time we suspend or expel these rude people? I'm sick of it myself.

There are so many of them, it's hard for one guy to suspend them all, even with a team of mods. The way we can help is by filing abuse reports.

[view]

I'm a tiny little person (13/f) and my mom wants me to exercise. Aside from burning off fat and staying at a healthy weight, why is it important to exercise?

It keeps your heart pumping blood throughout your body, ie, it keeps you ALIVE. It is also emotionally healthy because it makes you feel good about yourself. It makes you stronger, too.

[view]

is it gay for a guy to go on a diet?

Just like heterosexual men, some homosexual men also go on diets. Going on a diet does not make you gay. Being homosexual makes you gay. The term 'going on a diet' is kind of stupid, actually. 'Diet' actually means what you eat. So you are always on a diet. What you do is CHANGE your diet, not go on one. If you are unhealthy, you should change your diet. Many people these days suffer with being overweight. We all should change our diets to something healthier. It's sad...I never thought of it before, but maybe all those obese people refusing to diet aren't stupid, they're just homophobic! So by all means, change your diet, and spread the word to all your friends and neighbors that it doesn't make people homosexual!

[view]

Hey, I need websites that are fun to go to. And please don't give me ebaumsworld.

Know any cool links?

homestarrunner.com
emotioneric.com
albinoblacksheep.com

[view]

when you answer a question here, and the person who asked it gives you like a one or something, and you change your advice or say say something by editing your answer, will it still say 1 new answer by their question thing so that they know you edited your answer?

I don't know. But when I get a one, it's usually because the person is just plain ignorant. I figure there's nothing I can do to change that so I delete my question and just like magic--my rating goes back up. I find it's easier than wasting time justifying myself to people who just didn't understand what I was saying or gave me a one because I said something they didn't want to hear.

[view]

Have you noticed that everything now is sparkly belts, big sunglasses, ripped jeans, granny sweaters, oh and sparkly purses? and those BOOTS? im so sick of it all that is ALL i see in stores oh and those short lil jackets!! UGH!! Does anybody think they know what will be next, i started liking this stuff too late and im getting sick of it cuz i see it on everyone else!! I need some HOT new trends to be the FIRST with it out, i dont wanan follow i wanna LEAD!!

Look at other cultures for inspiration! You may like Harajuku (http://www.style-arena.jp/english/street/harajuku/) or Celtic clothing or a combination of both! Try looking at thrift stores, as well. You find the most random, pretty, so-out-of-fashion-it's-cool stuff at places like Goodwill. And maybe you should take up sewing.

[view]

Okay, y'all...I am a fellow advicenator. I am just wondering why advicenators who have NEVER had sex or don't know what the hell the are talking about are answering sex questions. These people actually might just TAKE your advice...at least learn about what you're answering before you hit submit. Oh yeah, and for all of you who think wearing TWO condoms is cool...you are so wrong.

I've never had sex, but I still know a lot about it. I only answer sex questions I know I can answer, and if there's something I don't know I can usually point them in the direction of a helpful website. I really don't think this is worth freaking out about. When people come here they should expect that some of the answers they get will be from airheaded kids. Usually if someone doesn't know what they're talking about, it's obvious to whoever posted the question and they don't take it seriously. If they do, however, oh well. If they're having sex or planning on it they should know how to think for themselves and not take what a bored teenager says as the absolute One True Way.

[view]

Me and one of my friends wanted to play a prank on this annoying guy that had been stalking another friend of ours that works as a waitress. Well actually there were 3 people in on the prank. The owner and chef of the restaurant encouraged us to do this because his waitress (our friend) had been complaining about this guy that always came into the restaurant, asked her out repeatedly, bought her unwelcomed gifts and then followed her home after her shift. So this was the joke: we went into the porn shop, bought all these sex toys, wrapped them, and then signed it to him from a "secret admiror". This would give him a taste of his own medicine. Well when he went into the restaurant and picked up his gift, he blamed it on another customer, and now our friend that owns the restaurant is mad at me and my friend for having one of his regulars upset. But it was HIS idea. I also found out that he thinks that I have a crush on the creep who was stalking the waitress. When I asked why I was told because I was one the ringleaders in the prank. I was furious and told everyone that it was a joke that went too far, and that I wished I hadnt gotten involved. How can I make things right? And why should I have to apologize because I wasnt the only one in on this.

I think the owner was being very immature about this. Actually, I kind of think you all were, not that I'm saying you're immature--just the way you handled the situation. For future reference: when somebody is being stalked you call the police!

I don't think you'll be able to make things better right away. You may have to lay low and wait until it all blows over. If it doesn't blow over, you may have to find a new job. I know this seems harsh and I am not trying to discourage you. I think this guy is being way too hard on you. But to be honest, just from what you've said, he does not sound like a nice guy. He sounds like a real jerk. You may actually be better off finding a new job. And you shouldn't have to apologize. But sometimes we need to do things that we shouldn't have to. That's just the way the world works, sadly. Actually, I just thought of this. It sounds like you're being sexually harassed in your workplace which is highly illegal. You should probably report this.

[view]

how do you know when you are really ready for sex? and how do you know if he is the right guy?

It's a tough one, and the answer lies deep within you. But basically my opinion is that if you have to ask, then you're not ready. I think that when you're truly ready and it is the right guy you will just KNOW. I don't know how because it hasn't happened to me yet, but I think there is some sort of outside force that tells us when the right time is. I know that sounds wacko, but you'll feel it someday and know what I mean.

[view]

i have read coloumns in magazines saying if you excersise too much it is damaging your body. is this true? i excersise at a gym for about 4 1/2 hours each week. i also do 30 mins of cardio at home. am i doing too much?

If you exercise too much, yes it can harm you. But you are nowhere near the too much line. Too much is if you don't eat, don't sleep, don't have a cup of tea and read a book--you just exercise all the time. The magazines aren't lying, they're just saying that it's important to exercise but you must also rest!

[view]

Hi. If a person has sex and then gets her period a day or less afterwards, does it mean she can't be pregnant? A friend of mine is really freaked out right now, and I'm trying to calm her down by telling her that she can't be pregnant. Thanks.

Very rarely does a woman have her period when she's pregnant. There is the slightest chance that she is pregnant, but it's really not likely.

[view]

I'm 13 years old, and a really tiny person, and I think it's good for me to start exercising---now don't get me wrong, I don't think I'm fat or anything, but I just think it's a good idea to move my muscles. But I hate sports of all kinds. Is there anything I can do at home BESIDES push-ups and sit-ups/crunches?

Walking. Going around your neighborhood is best, unless you have an unfriendly neighborhood. Start out small and try to work up to a mile. Do this every day. Lift weights also.

[view]

ok can you get pregnant by being AROUND sperm. not actually having sex?? like if it was on a surface er in the shower. like if you use the bathroom & theres sperm er anything??

thanks

It's highly unlikely. If you are taking a shower and there is some sperm and you get it on your foot, no you cannot get pregnant. If you put it in your vagina...I don't think it can do anything, because I think it actually dies pretty quickly when it's exposed, but just to be safe don't go sticking random goo that you find lying around in your vagina.

[view]

theres an old friend i had that hasnt signed on in a bit (on her old sns anyway) & is there a way i can find out an email, new sn, ANYTHING. me and my friends were juss looking for some way to contact her to see how everything is going.

thanks!!

Most people don't like to list their names or anything when they sign up for AIM (or whatever instant messenger you use), but you could try to do a search for her with AIM. I think you have to know her e-mail address for it, and if you knew that then you could just contact her, but you might be able to type in her full name and get a result if she lists herself. If she has a myspace or a livejournal or something like that you could contact her through that, or if you know her regular address you can send her a letter. If you get really desperate you could go to google and look up her name, you just might find something.

I think it's gonna be hard, though.

[view]

<<< Previous Advice Column

Next Advice Column >>>