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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
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Hello. I am a teacher and this past year, I worked at a terrible school! I was paid very little and could barely survive (I didn't even have enough money for groceries). So, my co-worker told me about how she was making ends meet. I applied and was hired as an online part-time english teacher teaching children in China to read. I am so incredibly grateful for this opportunity. I make about an extra $1000 a month. This past year, it has paid for my groceries, my electric bill, and my phone. It has been a real blessing. Over the summer, I had no job and I was not getting paid from the school I was at last year. So, I've continued to work for this company through the summer. The only problem is that we only get paid once a month. Therefore, it's been a little bit of a struggle.
This coming school year, I got a job at a much better school! I don't have to worry about next summer, because I get paid. I've been able to purchase a small home and I just feel a lot better and more independent. However, this summer, I have found the job to be incredibly difficult. The classes are only 25 minutes long. However, I could barely concentrate. Sometimes, the children just don't pay attention. They are usually at home on their ipads, laying in bed. They don't focus. Many times, they scream really loud. I don't know why they do that. But, they do! Then, because there's the pressure to finish the class in 25 minutes, I just feel really frustrated.
I need to keep this job during the coming school year, because honestly, now that I have a mortgage, I need the extra income. But, during the school year, I don't book as many classes. I usually just do 2 classes early in the morning and I'm finished. But, this summer has been exceptionally brutal, since I do 4-5 classes in a row.
My question is:
- Why do you think that it is so difficult? I teach a class of 22 students on a daily basis. So, why is this 1-1 25 min. class so difficult? If I could discover the reason for this, than maybe I can try to figure out a solution to make it easier on me?
I can think of a number of reasons why you are feeling frustrated. For one thing I know that English as a second language is not the easiest language to teach. You mentioned that the students are at home and not in a formal classroom. This too can be frustrating for if they were in a formal classroom you would have their classroom teacher in the room and the student’s demeanor would be entirely different. Students in China are not like American students; they come to class and they act according to the rules in place at that school. Given that they are at home with no rules per say to follow the act as they please.
Let’s review for a moment; no class room structure for the students, a course that is not the easiest to teach reduced to 25 minute segments and you’re teaching four of them a day. I’m frustrated just writing this. Now add in the time difference of 11 to 14 hours depending on which coast you’re on. If you’re teaching in the morning your time it is close to bed time for them. If it is your evening it is their morning and they probably don’t want to be sitting with their IPad doing lessons plus you may want to be out with friends having a good time. Pardon me for saying this but this is a prescription for disaster from the start.
We see the problem what are the solutions? There are very few that I can see. The first and most important is preparation on your part. You are used to teaching a 45 or 50 minute class and your lesson plans and planning are geared to that timing. I do not see how you can teach all the nuances of our language in 25 minute segments in the constraints of the summer. What I believe you need to do is to structure your planning around the main points of our language. Give them the ability to read, write and speak the language and not worry so much about form, grammar and punctuation. I’ve had twelve years of English and I still need someone to proof read my writing. Thank god for secretaries.
Class control is the next biggest problem. My entire career has been spent in sales and marketing where I have had to work with people I have no control over. How I presented myself to them in training sessions is how I was able to control them and have them do what I needed them to do. If you picture you American classroom as a 3D setting and your virtual classroom 1D setting you will see the problem. In your American class room you have your voice, body language and facial expression to get your point across for control of your class. In your virtual classroom you have only your facial expression.
What I suggest you do is once you have pared your lesson plan to a 25 minute presentation practice it in front of a mirror. These children have very strict classroom teachers. You need to adopt a stern expression that says you will not accept any foolishness form them or they will fail. Failure is not an option to them. Your voice and face have to be sending the same message. Practicing in front of a mirror will help you adopt the look and voice sound you need to use with these children.
As one of my National Sales Mangers loved to say; “There are people who fail to plan and people who plan to fail.” You need to decide which one you are. No one I now plans to fail though some of us fail to plan. I believe with proper planning most of your problems will go away.
English was not my best subject in school and that was many decades ago. Please don’t send this back correct for grammatical mistakes. Good luck and thank you for being a teacher.
So I met this guy on facebook yesterday.
He told me that he is poor and needs a better job but every job requires him to be fluent in English. His home language is Hindi and he isn't good in English. I had to guess what he was saying a few times.
He asked me to help him with his English through voice calls so he can get a better job. I told him I won't be much help and I am just a student in grade 9! He then acted all sad and said everyone says that to him and he was crying, he also told me that if I don't help him I won't sleep comfortably and I will dream about him asking me for help. That freaked me out so much and I felt really bad for him I said I would help him.
I realize now what a horrible mistake I did. I won't be much help. I am not good in English either and I don't know how to teach, I never taught before!!
How do I tell him I can't help him? He said he tried using apps but it didn't help and he is too poor to attend classes so he was looking for someone to help him through Facebook.
So like we will be calling everyday and I have to teach him through the call!
When I told him I would help him, he was so grateful I don't know how to break this to him! Help me please!!!
I have a bad feeling about this. I feel he is not what he says he is. That he may be a pedophile who will eventually ask you to meet him after his English improves. There are many places he can go to learn English as a second language without charge he does not need a ninth grader to teach him.
First thing you do is tell your parents and let them answer the phone when he calls. If they are not home when he calls just tell him you can't help him and hang up. Do not listen to him, Just say you can't help him and hang up. If he calls back let the call go to voice mail or just do not answer it.
If you have caller ID make note of the phone number and give it to your parents. I recommend a police report be made so they can check him out. I'm sure once the police contact him one of two things will happen. He will stop calling you or he will be arrested.
Hello, I am 22, female and dating a 24 year old male. He and I have been together for a little over two years now so it's safe to say I know quite a bit about him as does he, though you can't really time stamp that kind of thing. However, I know that he can get into moods, very similar to me on my period so we pretty much know what we need to do when the other gets like that. I'm an open book so I'll cry to him about getting sad over a television commercial or something when I'm on my period, whereas him, not so much.
So, this past week he's been in a funk, he hasn't been talking much, he's been getting irritated at very small things....we were out yesterday to a local park for an event and he wanted to bring his dog but his dog had to be home by a certain time to take his seizure medicine, on our way to the event, there was a very large accident which caused all of the main route to be shut down so it tripled our time of getting there so he was just worried that the accident wouldn't be cleaned up in time so he timed it that if it weren't we would still have time to get his dog home. My parents were telling he and I what their plans were for the night and that kind of thing as we were leaving and he was just getting so frustrated that "nobody was helping him get home by 6" he felt like everyone was against him in getting his dog home so he face walked all the way to the car, I walked normally and then he got irritated with me in the car that I was walking too slowly, therefore I wasn't helping him complete his task of getting home in time either. So, I know I shouldn't have, but I got angry and I yelled that he's been in a mood all week, what is his issue. He still wouldn't tell me.
Meanwhile, this same time last week, I was asking him what his problems were and telling him that I would be there for him and he literally said "geez, get off my case, would you?" I got so hurt that I stopped caring, I didn't want to talk to him, I didn't want to even know what was making him that way anymore. So, like i said again, I asked him and he still didn't tell me so when we got back to his house, he asked if I was just going to wait outside and then we could do what we had planned which was to grab dinner and a couple drinks but I was just so, hurt I guess you could say, that I told him I was walking back to my house and that he can just stay at his house that night. He had texted me a couple hours later, ensuring my safety and then he asked if he could come over so we could talk about what happened. I told him no because I just wasn't in the mood to get yelled at again.
When he gets in these moods, he says things that he would either regret or things that I know he doesn't mean - like his brain thought was before his mouth and that's when he yelled at me to get off his case because he said he felt like I was "interrogating him" and he felt "extremely overwhelmed". But then I told him that I don't like that when he gets in these moods, he takes it out on everyone so he'll just be short and very sassy to my mom and I do not appreciate anyone talking to my mom in a negative tone so I brought that up to him too like "hey, i know you wanted to get lucky home and my mom didn't know that you were on such a time restraint, she just wanted to let you know they were going to a concert and that we would have the house to ourselves until really late" because all while she was talking to him, he was sighing and giving one word answers and looking very unenthused. She cooks extra dinner for him every night, she lets him take showers at my house when he needs to, she is just the last person that he needs to be giving attitude to, when I made it abundantly clear that no matter how bad my mood is or how bad I feel, I would never disrespect his mom and his response was "yeah, well you aren't at my house half as much as I'm at yours".
So, it's the next day - we had gotten invited to go see a Grateful Dead cover band, something that he was excited to do before this whole thing went down, so I texted him to remind him, I'm really still not in the mood to see him yet but we are together and I thought that if I saw him, we could just talk and get everything out, I don't know. But he texted me back that he was going to pass, he was out hiking with his dog, something that we used to do with both of our dogs together.
I know it isn't a lot and I know I'm painting him out to be this awful person but he really isn't, he gets in these moods not as frequently as I do (my period, mostly). He is very sweet 97% of the time, for our two year anniversary, he planned us a whole trip to Niagara Falls and then we continued to road trip all the way through Canada. For my birthday, he wrote me this whole big letter about all the things he loves about me. When my car battery died, he jumped me and even took me to four different places so I could price match batteries and then even drove me all the way back to the first store because it wound up being the cheapest. He has never, ever hit me, never even got anywhere close to it or anything similar. We just have big arguments that last for a few days and then everything is fine after we talk about it. But lately, I've just been thinking he is dealing with something and he isn't telling me. My mom said she really believes that he has a mild form of anxiety, she'd had it for about 30 years so she really is keen on that kind of thing. His mom even said to my mom after we got back from Canada that she is shocked he drove the entire way because she really thought that his "anxious thoughts" would cause him to not want to drive further anymore. I just need help so I know how to help but I'm not even sure how I can help him if he won't ever talk to me about anything. I just feel so stuck. Please don't just tell me to leave him, I know that I get into moods that turn me into a raging bitch sometimes and he has dealt with every single one of my tantrums and yelling matches about things so I just want to be there for him and see if there's anything I can do.
Thank you.
I am not a doctor so I cannot make diagnosis. Your boyfriend sounds a lot like I was before I was diagnosed and treated for clinical depression. Depression cause pain (anguish) pain causes anxiety; it’s a circular thing. To work at curing you first have to try and break the cycle which is why many psychiatrists recommend a short term treatment with antidepressant medication.
The hard part about getting your boyfriend to seek help for possible depression is that he first has to admit he is depressed and then he must want to get help. If he is like me he does not feel he is depressed for he may have been this way for some time and his depression feels normal to him. It slowly built up on me the first time and it was my son who was studying to be a paramedic who saw it and made a phone call to a professor who happened to be a clinical psychologist. We spoke on the phone and then I became his patient and after about four months I felt better.
You sound like the two of you are close enough that you might be able to talk him into going for a physical. He will need a complete physical to rule out and organic reason for how he feels anyway. You know him well enough I believe that you can say something like you want to make sure there is nothing causing how he has been acting lately and if it is just stress the doctor can help him. Ask him to let you call the doctor to schedule the appointment. When you call to schedule the appointment tell them that you would like to schedule a complete physical including being evaluated for depression. He has been acting moody lately and this is not like him.
Hopefully if his doctor tells him he is depressed he will go for the treatment he recommends. Otherwise all you can offer is understanding and support.
So i just wanted to know how do you know if youre a lightweight when drinking? Because today i drank 3 small glasses of champagne, 3 shots of vodka mixed with soda and one shot of vodka alone. Then i had a sip of this vex alcohol drink,then another sip and then got myself a bottle of it but i still feel the same? (maybe a little tipsy but barely) but i did eat before drinking, so did my friends and we all drank water but somehow after the 4th shot of vodka they were drunk as heck. They became more sociable, one of my friends went through all the stages from being loud to crying to throwing up you name it she did it. Meanwhile i felt as introverted as i did when i got there so does that mean im not a lightweight or that i mightve not drank as much as them? Thanke in advance if you answer
I can't say if you are a lightweight or not as everyone metabolizes things differently. especially alcohol.
Where you legally drunk, very much so. Had you tried to drive and been pulled over your breathalyzer reading would have would have been well over the mark for your state. Later at the hospital you blood alcohol content would conform the breathalyzer test.
You drank mostly vodka and champagne and a little of the Vex . You say you bought a bottle of the Vex but not how much you drank of it. Since VEX is only available in Canada I'm not familiar with it other than it appears to be flavored Vodka. With the exception of the Champagne.
Since you didn't mix you drinks and had food before hand the alcohol may have been slower to absorb into your system. But I would say given what you drank I would not call you a lightweight.
My mom has full custody of my nephew and has been raising him since he was 3 he is 13 now. My mom has been raising him because my sister and his dad were both found unfit. His dad hasn't had any involvement in his life since he was born, but the other day he sent him a friend request on facebook. He told my nephew to call him. My nephew asked his grandma if he could call him? She said yes and dad said he was coming to see him. He hasn't bought anything for Christmas or birthdays or even called. I remember last year on his birthday his dad walked by the house and my nephew was outside and his dad didn't say a word to his son. Should we allow visitation?
There may be more to this story then you know or could be telling; such as why his parents were found to be unfit. Your mother has legal custody of your nephew and knows why he was taken from his parents and given to her to raise. To that end you need to trust your mother and her instincts as to whether or not to allow this visit. I am going to suggest it be a supervised visit with her or another family member in attendance.
Next there is your nephew himself that has to be taken into consideration. At 13 I'm sure he has many questions concerning why he was taken from them, why he has not heard from his dad in ten years and many other questions. This is another reason an adult family member should be in attendance during this meeting so he has someone to support him while he asks these. It is also important to get a medical history from his father. Your nephew needs this to be put into his medical records for doctors to have a complete family medical history. He should have his mothers medical history as well most of which your mother can supply.
If I were you I would talk with him and ask him why he has agreed to meet with his dad. If he says anything in the way of he feels obligated to. Then I would tell him he is under no such obligation. If he doesn't want to see his dad no one will force him too.
In short to allow the meeting is solely up to your mom and your nephew. Just make sure your nephews reason is a sound reason and not a feeling of obligation .
So I was at a small get together a couple days ago with like 4 other people, there was one acquaintance there that I noticed was super outgoing, she could start a convo with anybody about anything and never had awkward silences and pauses. Meanwhile when she talked to me, (having social anxiety/socially awkward) I would try so hard to carry the convo but I ended up having the awkward silences, they're not awkward for me cause I'm used to them but for the other person they prob are. I didn't really talk much at the gathering because I didn't really know the people except for the host and the acquaintance, but either way even if I know the person I'm still really quiet and I hate it. I want to be outgoing so bad but I'm not, thanks in advance if you've read this far and answer.
Social anxiety is something that can be helped rather than be suffered with. Have you thought of talking with a therapist, a psychologist about your problem. If you have not I suggest you do. If you have health insurance it may be covered under your insurance. Social anxiety has a cause; once the cause is found through talk therapy you can be shown how to deal with it.
On to your question. I have suggested a number of different way to join in conversations. When you are the odd person out at a gathering; meaning you don't know anyone other than the person who brought you. It is not unusual to have a problem holding a conversation. In any other situation you should be able to hold a conversation.
The best way to start is to find groups or organizations of interest to you that you are knowledgeable about. Attend meetings of these groups and listen to conversations. Your knowledge of the purpose of the group what they do or their interest should help you join the conversation as you are sure footed in what to say. Not only can you hold up your end of the conversation but you should make some new friends as well.
My father had a problem with a form of social anxiety, he felt awkward speaking in public. Then he took a job that required him to do just that in front of Bankers and others of that type. To his recue was a Dale Carnage public speaking course. After that course we couldn't shut him up. Something to look into.
What I suggest you do first is to talk with a therapist about the social anxiety. Correct this and the other things will self correct.
I'm trying to stop drinking soda, but I always get a craving after a while and I drink it too much. I've been drinking water, but I don't like it that much.
There are a lot of things in soda that are not good for you. My personal belief is that when your body craves things like sugar it is as addictive just like cigarettes and other things can be or are. It takes will power to stop.
Substituting one thing for another may be helpful but not always a replacement for what you crave. I use to be able to go through a six pack of soda at home each day plus one or more big gulps during the day. I'm now down to one 6oz can of soda at night with my dinner and it usually last me for the rest of the evening.
How id did this was to add up all the soda I drank each day and slowly weaned myself off. Instead of two big gulps a day it was one when I was empty I had water or I had both water and a Big Gulp in the van with me. After a bit the big Gulp was lasting all day so I stopped buying them. At home I slowly stopped drinking 6 cans a night. First five then four then three so on and so forth until I just had then one for dinner because nothing other than soda cuts through some of the fats and grease you might get with dinner.
Is this an everyday thing for me; mostly. Sometimes I will have a sweet tea with lunch or If I have a fast food burger I will have soda. Pizza and soda go together like mashed potato's and gravy so yes there are exceptions. But the rule is one soda a day.
It takes will power and you don't get there over night. Your body is use to all this sugar and you have to wean it off slowly.
Good luck.
So I'm 13 and I'm about to move in to year 9 and turn 14 in January I know legally you have to be 16 to have sex but I really feel like I want to explore my body through another boy doing it? What age is the best?
You are writing to us because you feel you are not ready or too young. This is good. I'm going to explain things to you in a manner that others may not have and at the end I will have a suggestion for you to help you wait until you are alder and ready to let a boy touch you below the waist.
Fourteen is too young to have any type of sexual relations. When you let a boy finger you they eventually want to go further. Also it is most likely going to feel good and you may orgasm from his fingering. I say most likely as there are two types of women when it comes to sex. Women that are clitoral and those that are vaginally stimulated.
If you’re vaginal being fingered by a boy will feel good for that is what he knows to do. If you’re clitoral you will need to have your clitoris stimulated in order to climax or have an orgasm.
I realize you have sexual energy and feeling usually referred to as feeling horny. This is puberty at work and all the new hormones pouring into you. We all go through this at about this age both boys and girl.
At your present age what I suggest is first you learn about your body. How and where and how you like to be touched and caressed before you let a boy touch you. You do this as part of masturbation.
Contrary to what others may have told you there is nothing wrong with masturbation. It is actually good for you as you will not go blind as some mothers tell their children. Hair will not grow in the palm of your hand. Masturbation is a safe way to relieve the sexual tension we all have. To that end a recent survey reveals that 85% of us masturbate, this includes your parents. Sometimes it is singular masturbation other times its mutual masturbation as part of foreplay. Oral sex, fingering and hand jobs are masturbation.
When you’re older and able to have a sex life with someone you truly love you are going to need to teach your partner what makes you feel good. We are born with the knowledge of how to procreate but to have a great sex life we need to teach each other about our bodies.
To do this you need to caress yourself when masturbating. You do this in the privacy of your bedroom or in your bath. The only time masturbation is bad is when it becomes an all-encompassing activity to the detriment of everything else. Otherwise relax, dim the lights, if you’re in the bath light some scented candles and just let one hand wander over your body while the other is fingering you.
As a father and Uncle of teenage girls this is what I had told them at your age. It is far better than wrestling with a boy your age or older who will want more than you’re willing to give him. That is how teenage girls end up pregnant. You cannot get pregnant for masturbation.
My wife was raped when she was 15 by a 25 year old construction worker. She made a date to go to his house. When she got there the guy ripped her clothes off and raped her vaginally and anally. On top of that his roommate was watching discreetly. Sounds horrible and in some ways I'm sure it was but she orgasm d intensely, went back the next day knowing what would happen. She thought about that every time she masturbated for years after that. She also liked to be dominated, treated like a slut, and does to this day.
I agree with the advice KarenR gave as well as not seeing a question. If you would like more confidentiality you can send either of us a private message and we will respond in a message only you can see.
Rape is a horrible act and can play horrible tricks on a woman’s mind. Again not knowing what your question is I can offer only the following advice.
For the rape itself the person who raped her can no longer be charged as the statute of limitations has run out. He can be charged as a pedophile as your wife was 15 and was most likely under the age of consent for the state she resided in. With that charge the charge of Statutory Rape might still be able to be charged.
You can talk to the proper authorities and if you know the name of the individual and your wife is willing to testify charges can be brought. Once charges are brought it is very possible others will come forward. It is rare that pedophiles rape just one child. It is almost certain there are more who for their own reasons have never reported him. As we are seeing in the Bill Crosby trial once one woman is strong enough to come forward others follow.
Chances are good this man is still doing this to young girls. Please talk to your wife about talking with authorities and bringing charges before he hurts someone.
So... I recently found this thing online, a kink called ddlg. If you're not familiar with it, it's short for daddy dom little girl. Of course, this isn't actual incest or pedophilia. If you need any more information, some quick googling will give you a good answer. I think I might be kind of into this. I love when my boyfriend tells me what to do, when he "punishes" me during sex, and when he calls me kitten, doll, baby girl, or other names like that. I like acting child-like with him, and he likes when I dress like a kid, like when I wear cat ears. He takes care of me, in a way, like he reminds me to do my homework and makes sure I'm responsible. I'm sure this isn't the best description. I'm wondering if I should bring this up to him. We're very open about sex and everything else, and I feel weird not talking to him about this. It doesn't seem like a serious thing to me, but I do want to know his opinion of it. I don't want us to actively participate in this kink, I'm very happy with our sexual relationship, but it feels weird not to know where he stands on this. I would really like him to know that it's a turn on for me to somewhat act out the child-like part of this kink, but I'm afraid to tell him. So, basically... do you think I should bring this up to my boyfriend? Would it be easier to maybe send him a link about the ddlg thing, or just to explain my particular interests to begin with and not mention the ddlg kink at all? I'm afraid either way he'll think it's odd that I want to be treated like a kid at times. I don't expect this kink to take over our lives and I don't want it to, so in a way I feel like I'm making too big of a deal of this. Should I tell him and how should I tell him?
I can see that you are 14 years of age. The father in me must say before answering your question that you are way young to be having sex. Since you are then you need to be having safe sex which means that your partner needs to be using condoms to prevent pregnancy and to prevent most of the STDs and the HIV/AIDS virus. Also you need to be on birth control. Because you are 14 by virtue of a law passed by Congress called HIPPA you may ask any doctor for Birth Control medication or device.
The law is called HIPPA. In short it says anyone 14 and older may see any doctor for any problem related to their reproductive system in full confidentiality. This means your parent will never know and the doctor cannot tell them why you visited. In your case you mother may not be in the room anytime a doctor does a pelvic exam. Some mothers drag their daughters to a doctor for a pelvic exam to see if they are sexually active. Under HIPPA you do not have to consent to the exam and mom cannot do anything about it. Any girl over 14 cannot be forced to have an abortion either.
Once you reach the age of 14 you are in total control of your reproduction system and all rights to it. As a by-product of this though it was not there intention you may ask for birth control and the doctor if there is no medical reason not to must supply a prescription or device.
Since you are actively engaged in an adult sexual relationship then you should discuss your likes and dislikes between you. A sexual relationship is no different than any other relationship. It will only flourish and grow if there is open an honest communication between you and both consent to whatever kink or positions one may wish to try. The operative word her is “consent, or consenting.” If both partners are not consenting to something then you don’t do it.
When both partners are in consent then the following applies. “There is nothing wrong or weird about anything sexual that happens in the privacy of one’s bedroom.”
Please see a doctor and get on some form of birth control and make sure your partner wears a condom until you are sure you are in a truly monogamous relationship.
I am a fourteen year old girl and I have started to develop feelings for my step brother. My dad has only recently met his girlfriend and even though they are not officially married we call her my step mom. At first me and my step-brother were very awkward around eachother but over the past few months we have grown very close. We tend to play fight and wrestle a lot more then we used to and when we are the only ones up we talk for hours on end. I have grown to really like him and I am not sure what to do, I am not even completely sure these are romantic feelings. I just noticed myself acting differently around him then I do around my other siblings. What should I do?
Lets start with the fact that he is your step-brother a non blood related person. It is okay to have feelings for him. If those feeling turn romantic and you end up wanting to marry there is no legal reason why you cannot do so. It would be unique in that you dad would also be you father in-;aw as would be your step-mom be you mother in-law. A bit strange but not illegal.
My answer is to let your feeling s lead the way there is nothing wrong with you and your step-brother having a relationship. The father in me must remind you that your are 14 and that this relationship should be a chaste one until you are both of legal age to have a sexual one.
I recently found out that my father has gotten married for the sixth time. I haven't seen him in five years. I am currently seventeen and live in Kentucky. I know that my father is an abusive, selfish man. He cheats constantly. He has a thing for young girls. Girls my age, and he's around forty now. I don't know his wife's age, but I do know that she will be abused emotionally and physically. I am honestly amazed that someone as lazy as him could put so much effort into tearing down another person. He never keeps a job for longer than a month, never pays child support, and just generally does little to support his children or anyone else. He preys on vulnerable women, finding younger girls with low self esteem, who are easy to manipulate. I need to know, is there anything I can do about this? Anything at all? Legally or otherwise. I feel responsible for this, for this woman's safety and for my father's actions. I know I'm doing nothing wrong myself, but years ago I watched this man put a young woman in the hospital. I need to do something. So please. If there's anything you can think of, any way I could make the authorities intervene, please tell me.
Let me start by saying you are in no way responsible for your father or his actions. I understand your concern for the safety of the young women he is seeking out to marry.
Your feeling of the need to warn them is not a responsibility; it is more of a need or a desire to try and protect them. If you truly feel it is a responsibility to the definition of the word. Then I would suggest you seek out therapy with a psychologist as this feeling of responsibility for your fathers actions is wrong and will cause you problems later in life.
As long as the girls your father seeks to woo and marry are of legal age to consent there is not much the authorities can do to stop a marriage. Once they are married domestic violence laws differ from state to state. Your local library should have a copy of the Stat code for your state where you can read up on the domestic violence law. Mental abuse is generally not covered under that law only physical abuse.
Was your father charged with domestic violence when he put that women in the hospital? In some states the police can make the charge in others the victim must file the charge.
Many victims of domestic violence will not file any charges. They feel because of the mental abuse which accompany the physical abuse they are wrong.
What I'm about to say now may offend you but you have asked what you can do and this is something you can do should you chose to.
If your father was not charged with Domestic Violence and the state has a domestic violence law then there is a statue of limitation as to how long you have to file charges. If you know the women and can find her and talk to her. Then try and convince her she did nothing wrong and that your father needs to learn he cannot do this to her or those that came before her or the ones who will come after her. Convince her to file charges and you can talk to the District Attorney or States Attorney as to whether you would be a good witness for the prosecution.
Your father will not stop abusing women until he is stopped or he kills someone. Abuser have a personality defect that they have to recognize and learn to control as personality defect cannot be fixed with a pill.
Men who abuse women will continue to do so and many will end up hurting a women to the point the police will have no choice then to file attempted murder charges. One way or the other your father will eventually end up facing a judge. At the moment you can control what the charge could be.
Hey.
Never thought I would ever have to ask a question. But just recently, my old man died. And we went through his safe and got his will. I went down the list with my family. All though we aren't going to do anything yet. I found out what I was getting.
Before I was even born, my grandpa owned a plane. A Cessna 177 cardinal. Now the thing is I heard about this legendary plane. And my sister, my mother, everyone thought my dad sold this long back. But turns out he had put it in a hanger for all these years. It looks pretty good. It looks almost brand new. But I am not so sure whether it can run or not. I'm going to call a guy after me and my family deal with my father and everything.
My question is though for you people who know how to fly a plane and got their license. How can I get my license? what do i need to know? I really, really, really wanna get this metal bird flying high in the sky again. And pass it down to, or rather, if I ever have children. Can anyone tell me what I need?
First things first. Before you even attempt to put this plane in the air it must be certified for flight. The only person that can do this is to have an FAA certified & Licensed A&E inspector inspect the plane for airworthiness. Private aircraft must undergo a routine inspection every year to maintain there airworthiness certificate. There was at one time a requirement for inspection if a plane was not flown for 90 or more days.
Before you spend money learning to fly find out if the plane is airworthy. This is not an automobile where it needs to look good. It is an airplane and it is what is under the surface that needs to be good.
Once it is determined that the plane is airworthy or can be made airworthy and you can afford to fix it. Then you need to find a flight school. You can find them on the web or most private airports have a flying school on them.
Find an instructor at the school licensed to instruct you on your 177. This will save you much money as you will only pay for the instructors time and not the instructors time and a plane rental. You will also need to go to and pass ground school. This where you learn among other things how to navigate, very important.
Back in the day when I learned to fly the FAA said I could do so with just 10 hours of instruction, I was 16 at the time. I had the basics down, could get the plane in the air okay maneuver well and most of my landings were good by that time. Still given my age my instructor held back for another 10 hours and I did a lot of touch and go landings in those next ten hours.
Once you solo and have passed ground school you can start building hours towards your private license. Until you have your private ticket only you by yourself can be in a plane unless your passenger is a licensed instructor.
Once you have your private ticket then its back to school for an instrument rating and if you want you can get instruction on multi-engine and work towards a commercial pilots ticket.
What we can do to help a person going through a rough divorce?
My sister is going through her divorce and facing a painful time. She has hired a lawyer (http://36avocats.com/annuaire/bechara-tarabay) and he very supportive but still she remains sad. Family members try to make her smile but all in vain. What should we do?
It appears from the website you attached your sister lives somewhere in France. Hopefully you do as well for the best thing you can do for her is be supportive.
Divorce is never painless no matter how equitable it may be and rarely is a divorce equitable there is usually justifiable reasons. Trying to turn that frown upside down is not the answer, not know the wounds are still fresh. What she needs is someone to talk to, to be supportive of her without taking sides. In reality what she needs is time to grieve for her marriage and one way to do that is allowing her to talk it out. Most people won't listen feeling it is better to try and take her mind of her troubles. That is the wrong approach.
If you are separated by distance try calling and talking to her by phone. If it is affordable try surprising her with a visit. What she needs right now is a friend a close friend that will listen and be there for her. A sister can be that close friend.
I'm going to a water park on Tuesday due my period today what should I do?
If your are still having your period on Tuesday you will need to use a Tampon if you wish to actually go into the water.
Well a few years ago my mother passed away leaving a very expensive house to my bum sister. ( my name was taken off do to her scamming). Now all these years later her bum son lives with her . He has 2 kids from first girlfriend and the she left him and then he married had a baby with some one else and split up after 3 months and lives with his mom (my sister). He is 37. It burns me up. That I struggle. And the money I got from the inheritance I bought a house in a not so good. Neighborhood. Me and my husband have always lived on are own but struggle. I see people living with family members and getting away with it. I feel stupid. Maybe I should have taken the easy road.? Am I stupid? Burnt up
Are you stupid; NO. Are you being taken advantage of, probably.
You and your husband have worked hard for what you have and know the value of a dollar. While you may not say actually voice this to your children they are learning the value of a dollar through you and your husbands hard work. I know this because that is how I grew up. I knew we were not rich. I never knew just how poor we were at times. What I did see is how hard my parents worked to make sure there was good food on the table. That my sister and I had clean serviceable clothes to wear to school and we had a clean home with comfortable beds to sleep in.
Of course this is all hindsight now but it is that hindsight that built my work ethic, that has allowed me to build a better life for my family.
I realize struggling is hard and can wear you down especially when you see your sister just skating by through deception and cheating. Your are also seeing the results of her way of life. Her son has fathered 3 children only married to the mother of 1 child. He is living with his mother most likely because he can't support himself and the 3 children he fathered. This is the result of your sisters chosen way of lie.
IF you have children I do not foresee your children returning to the nest for mom and dad to support them because they do not have the proper ethics to sustain themselves. This is what your struggles are all about. This is what parenting is all about the ability to show your children how to make a better life for themselves.
No your not stupid if anyone is stupid I would say it is your sister.
I had a protrcted sex on 12mar.for a safer side I had ipill on next day.after that I got period on April 20th.its longer for 3days and very less.but after that today 15june.till now not get period.also I take praga test 1 week back.it was negative.so I have no idea what is actual problem.plZ help me...sir
Your not pregnant if that is your question. Once you have a period after you have had sex if you were pregnant then you miscarried. The reason for this is during your period you womb is cleaned out and the lining on which the egg attaches is cleaned out of you and a new fresh one is formed.
The most common reason young women miss a period is stress over worried about getting pregnant. More women miss period over stress then actually being pregnant. Now that I have or hopefully have relieved your stress your periods should return. IF not there is something else wrong and you should see a doctor.
You did everything else right. You used a condom. You took the Ipill the next day and you had a period afterwards; there is virtually no way you should be pregnant.
If your over 14 and going to have sex you should talk to your family doctor or GYN about birth control. While 14 year olds should not be having sex if you are you should at least have the proper protection. At age 14 and above you can have your doctor prescribe birth control in full confidence without your parents finding out.
Ever on birth control use a condom as well. It will increase your protection and it will protect you from many of the SYDs and the HIV/AIDs Virus.
am 20 from Ghana my boyfriend sucked my left breast during romance. A lump developed under my left breast which is attached to the skin I do feel pains pls what shall I do?
When you say your boyfriend sucked on your breast did you mean he sucked on your nipple or on the breast itself. In general if he sucked on your nipple an now you find a lump one has nothing to do with the other and you need to have the lump examined by a doctor.
If the lump is where your boyfriend actually sucked on your breast then I would say wait a few days and if it doesn't go away then see a doctor. Tell your boyfriend in the future if he wants to suck on your breast he should suck on the nipple not the breast itself.
So I've been dating this boy for about two weeks. I'm 22, he's 24. We've gone on three dates and I felt like the first two weren't that great. He's kind of quiet, a little uptight, and can be awkward. Both dates we went out for dinner and then got drinks at a bar, which I'm not usually into, but it seems to make him loosen up a bit.
The third "date" I invited him out with me and my best friend to go dancing to try and see him loosen up even more. I drove an hour out to pick him up and then an hour and 40 minutes to the city he wanted to go to because he knew a bartender at one of the clubs who could get us in for free.
I danced with him a lot and tried to teach him how, but even after he was kind of drunk he was still kind of awkward about it. He wound up kissing me a few times, mad some sweet comments, and all in all we all had a good time.
I drove my best friend and him back to my place and they slept in the extra bedrooms I have because they were too drunk to drive home. Before he went to sleep he kissed me one more time, which I thought was sweet and I felt good about everything.
In the morning he was quiet, awkward again, and only said maybe three things to me. I drove him an hour back home and he didn't kiss me again or anything, he just got out of the car without even a thank you. So then I had to drive another hour back and I was kind of mad about all of it. I spent around $100 between gas, drinks, and dinners on our dates that I really could have used and I felt like they were wasted on a guy who I probably wouldn't see again...
I crossed him off my list and then a few hours later he texted me asking if I wanted to go out again. I told him how I felt and he apologized and said he was just really shy around me and that he does like me and was worried he ruined the night with his bad dancing.
I think he's cute, admire his ambition, and like how intelligent he is. I enjoyed it when he was being sweet to me and when we kissed I did feel like there was something there.
However, I'm not the kind of person who can deal with a man being awkward and constantly clamming up. I prefer men who are chatty and can take some kind of initiative because I tend to feel badly about myself if I think a guy doesn't like me and wonder what I did wrong. I also get really quiet if it seems like they don't want to talk and tend to put a wall up if they seem disinterested.
I also think this might lead to future issues if we decided to be intimate. I feel like he wouldn't know what to do and I like for the man to be the dominant one in bed. Last time I was with a guy where I had to be the dominant one I hated it and never saw him again. It was just so awkward and I don't like guys who don't know what they're doing. I know it's possible to teach somebody, but as a young woman it's hard to give a man sexual advice without them getting offended, no matter how sweetly you ask.
Anyways, should I give him another shot or should I move on? What do you guys think?
You have two issues here both of which are important. I can speak on both topics from experience as I to was the awkward guy until I met my wife.
I could talk to a girl over the phone for hours but in person I could not hold a conversation. When I met my wife she somehow realized this and slowly brought me out of my shell. I don't know if you’re in to auto racing but if you are you will recognize the Dale Earnhardt Jr. Until he met his wife Amy Dale never said much in interviews. After he met Amy and they dated awhile he started to come out of his shell. Now you can't shut the guy up. There is an old saying; "Behind every good man there is a good woman." You might be that good woman.
You are writing us because I believe you see something in him you like though you two are very much alike in that you suffer from some forms of social anxiety. This can be overcome and you can do so together alone or with professional help.
It all starts with having a conversation about feelings. He has said he likes you. You think he's cute, admire his ambition, and like how intelligent he is. It is time for you to reply to him that you like or admire him. Invite him over for dinner. Over dinner you tell him you would like to see if a relationship is possible but that the two of you are very much alike in this one way. You say you’re willing to work on it wife he is willing to do so and you can do so together. If he says yes then this guy is a keeper. Get couples counseling to help you get started on the anxiety issue.
Now for the sex question you have. Every relationship including a sexual relationship requires communication. We are born with the mechanical knowledge of how to copulate but not the finesse that current lovers want from sex. Boys learn everything they know about sex from porno movies. Not the best way to learn about sex and pleasing a partner.
When my wife and I were headed into her apartment for our second night of sex as we crossed the street from the parking lot she very calmly said, "I'm more vaginal in what I like. Our first night in bed I had spent most of our oral sex concentrating on her clit. As we continued our relationship we refined our love making with each of us telling the other our likes and dislikes.
Sex is something we learn as we do there has to be open communication between partners. My wife likes to be the dominate one on occasion. That's fine I can be the submissive and let her do her thing with me. There is nothing unmanly about it. Why is that so; simple. What happens in the privacy of one’s bedroom stays in the bedroom.
You and your partner should first be comfortable enough wand trusting of each other that you can experiment with your sax play. As long as both consent to what it is you want to try there is nothing weird about it. But it all starts with a conversation.
Conversation is the key element in any relationship be it a sexual one, a business one or just a friendship.
28 female
Almost a month ago , I found s lump in my arm pit so I went to my doctor and she said it was a boil and prescribed an antibiotic it eventually went away. Then I found another under my right breast. I showed it to my doctor when I went to my follow up about the boil under my armpit and she did s breast exam and asked if I had breast cancer in my family and honesty I don't know. Now it is leaking blood and sometimes it's red and other times it's orange. Help
It is time for a second opinion ASAP. I'm not a doctor non of are so we cannot give you any type of diagnoses. What I can tell you is that my wife is a going on 8 years as a Breast Cancer survivor only because of early detection.
Statistically Breast Cancer is one of the most curable cancers if detected early. If you have been seeing you family doctor I would suggest you see a Surgeon or your GYN. You will need to have a Mammogram and probably an MRI. IF a lump is found most likely the surgeon will want to do a biopsy to find out for certain just what your dealing with.
I know this all sounds scary and it was to us though it needs to be done and it needs to be done without delay. Should it be determined to be cancer an a mastectomy be recommended find out the type of mastectomy the surgeon believes is needed. Once again you can get a second opinion on the type just don't delay.
Since my wife's cancer was caught early the did not do a radical mastectomy they left the muscle which allowed the plastic surgeon to place the implant under the muscle. Anyone looking at my wife, including the doctors who have seen her naked breast, cannot tell she has lost a breast.
My wife can wear any type of evening gown or bathing suits she desires for there is not tell tale signs of her mastectomy. The implant was placed at during the same operation that the breast was removed. when she returned to work people questioned if she really had a mastectomy even though the plastic surgeons work was not done. Six weeks later the plastic surgeon took my wife back into the operating room for what amount to a breast lift so that both breast were equal.
I have shared this with you for several reasons. First hopefully to allay some of your fears and to take some of the unknown out of what may lay ahead for you. To give you some insight to what questions to ask especially of your plastic surgeon.
When looking for a plastic surgeon two things are important. First that the doctor be Board Certified in Plastic Certified. That the doctor show you before and after pictures of previous surgeries he or she has done. You have every right to interview the surgeon. If you not comfortable move on to the next on your list.
Good luck and please do not wait.