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So... I recently found this thing online, a kink called ddlg. If you're not familiar with it, it's short for daddy dom little girl. Of course, this isn't actual incest or pedophilia. If you need any more information, some quick googling will give you a good answer. I think I might be kind of into this. I love when my boyfriend tells me what to do, when he "punishes" me during sex, and when he calls me kitten, doll, baby girl, or other names like that. I like acting child-like with him, and he likes when I dress like a kid, like when I wear cat ears. He takes care of me, in a way, like he reminds me to do my homework and makes sure I'm responsible. I'm sure this isn't the best description. I'm wondering if I should bring this up to him. We're very open about sex and everything else, and I feel weird not talking to him about this. It doesn't seem like a serious thing to me, but I do want to know his opinion of it. I don't want us to actively participate in this kink, I'm very happy with our sexual relationship, but it feels weird not to know where he stands on this. I would really like him to know that it's a turn on for me to somewhat act out the child-like part of this kink, but I'm afraid to tell him. So, basically... do you think I should bring this up to my boyfriend? Would it be easier to maybe send him a link about the ddlg thing, or just to explain my particular interests to begin with and not mention the ddlg kink at all? I'm afraid either way he'll think it's odd that I want to be treated like a kid at times. I don't expect this kink to take over our lives and I don't want it to, so in a way I feel like I'm making too big of a deal of this. Should I tell him and how should I tell him?
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Dear Should I Tell,
Yes, tell him what you like. The best sex is always when your partner knows how to please you. I think he will be open to it, since he already does these things with you.
I find the best way to tell my husband what I like is during sex, I come right out and say, "I love it when you do this." Or I guide him into doing it and then tell him, "I love that. Do it some more."
Telling him what you like is not a crime and promotes honest communication. Those are two keys to a healthy relationship.
I think everything will work out great for you. Good luck! Let me know how it goes. You can email me anytime.
Best wishes,
Gigglz
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Hon, it sounds like he is already naturally doing some of this stuff so I don't think it would be a big leap for him to go over any specifics you find and decide with you to try whatever you have not yet been doing.
There are few to none when it comes to young male teens knowing of this stuff let alone being pretty comfortable and good at sex. So my guess is there's a possibility he is 18 or way over. If so, you need to be prepared for him getting caught and going to jail, no matter how willing you were. I already can tell from how you write that there is no turning back for you to go back to sex without a partner and waiting til you are older so I won't even try. As long as age wise, he is around your age, parents might not be okay with it but even without their knowledge or moms help, you are going to need to get on some kind of birth control besides trusting on just condoms if he is even using them as they are not fool proof. Accidents happen with them. I remember two occasions when it happened to me.
You said you both are comfortable and open about sex. If so, then it doesn't hurt to ask for what you want. Even if what you want is more like a fetish and not your run of the mill average sexual practices. Lovers should be mature enough to listen to each other and wanting to discuss and give each other what the other would like in sex. Although, teen boys are not likely to be driven as you to want this. They just plain old want sex but don't usually have any specific likes and dislikes unless they have been sexual a lot already with lots of experience. Your bf is already doing lots of the parts of what it is to be DDLG. At your age, you may not end up with him for the rest of your life. You may yet date others before you settle down to the one relationship you have for the rest of your days. All I can advise is that you make sure in future guys, you do not train them to what you want unless they already show signs to be that way. Then confirm it by showing them any sites on it and getting their feedback. Any guy forcing himself to become this way to please you and keep you will work for a while but not forever. People tend to grow resentment if they feel they are unable to be themselves and have to change to be perfect for their mate. I know this from marriage already. So do find guys who already have a streak of wanting to play Daddy. We could be reading your bf wrong. Perhaps he won't be into it at all. But you need to find out. Other than guiding convo's during sex of I like that, do more of that or Ouch, please go lighter, or stop for a minute, i need to catch my breath, is all good and important. However any major discussion to bring up something big like this should be done at a time when you are not having sex. I can't tell you how to bring it up, other than, hey I have some ideas rolling around in my head that I want to share with you. Then share.
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I can see that you are 14 years of age. The father in me must say before answering your question that you are way young to be having sex. Since you are then you need to be having safe sex which means that your partner needs to be using condoms to prevent pregnancy and to prevent most of the STDs and the HIV/AIDS virus. Also you need to be on birth control. Because you are 14 by virtue of a law passed by Congress called HIPPA you may ask any doctor for Birth Control medication or device.
The law is called HIPPA. In short it says anyone 14 and older may see any doctor for any problem related to their reproductive system in full confidentiality. This means your parent will never know and the doctor cannot tell them why you visited. In your case you mother may not be in the room anytime a doctor does a pelvic exam. Some mothers drag their daughters to a doctor for a pelvic exam to see if they are sexually active. Under HIPPA you do not have to consent to the exam and mom cannot do anything about it. Any girl over 14 cannot be forced to have an abortion either.
Once you reach the age of 14 you are in total control of your reproduction system and all rights to it. As a by-product of this though it was not there intention you may ask for birth control and the doctor if there is no medical reason not to must supply a prescription or device.
Since you are actively engaged in an adult sexual relationship then you should discuss your likes and dislikes between you. A sexual relationship is no different than any other relationship. It will only flourish and grow if there is open an honest communication between you and both consent to whatever kink or positions one may wish to try. The operative word her is “consent, or consenting.” If both partners are not consenting to something then you don’t do it.
When both partners are in consent then the following applies. “There is nothing wrong or weird about anything sexual that happens in the privacy of one’s bedroom.”
Please see a doctor and get on some form of birth control and make sure your partner wears a condom until you are sure you are in a truly monogamous relationship.
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Sounds like he may already know what you like. I don't think it would hurt anything to discuss it. He may be surprised that there is a name for it, but I think he knows you enjoy being treated like a little girl already.
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