"People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone." - Audrey Hepburn
I came to this site for advice about a man and love. That very question turned my entire world around and I have had my eyes opened to things I never noticed before.
I've stayed here so that I can share the knowledge I do have. I know I'm not changing the world but I do hope that I spark others to open their eyes.
"The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself." - Oscar Wilde
So, if you learn something from what I say then repeat it to someone else who can use it.
I hope that if you see an answer of mine that you enjoy it will inspire you to go out of your way to give good, solid information. Provide links for further information, detail your responses, encourage people to seek out professionals when it's needed, and stop sugar-coating responses and just say the truth.
I hope that even if you absolutely hate my answer that it'll kick start your brain. Hopefully you'll begin taking your time to respond instead of hurried answers that are useless to an already confused person.
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." - Robert Frost
Gender: Female
Location: WV / KY / ND
Occupation: Technical Account Management
Age: 24
Member Since: October 12, 2007
Answers: 1511
Last Update: August 15, 2011
Visitors: 144126
Favorite Columnists
karenR
DangerNerd
russianspy1234
GilbertMar
ThirdQED
mikesadvice
Eldritch
my2cents
|
| |
|
I been having blood coming out ever time i use a bathroom for number 2 (link)
|
You should probably see your doctor even if it's just a little bit of blood. A little bit of blood could mean you have a small irritated bit of end intestines that need to heal up. This can happen from straining too much when you go to use the bathroom or even from accidentally nicking yourself with a fingernail when you wipe. A lot of times this is a sign of a hemorrhoid. They aren't usually dangerous but you definitely don't want them to grow. Most people end up having to deal with a hemorrhoid at some point in their lives.
If there is a lot of blood and it's very evident that it's fresh (bright red) then it's time to go to the ER. Pooping blood isn't normal or healthy. It means something is wrong inside. If YOU don't know what is hurt or wrong then how will you fix it, right?
See your doctor if it's just a little bit of blood to make sure things are OK.
Go to the emergency room immediately if it's more than "just a little bit" of blood. Having multiple bloody bowel movements is extremely dangerous.
|
I don't know what to do with him! I found out from my bff that my bf made a facebook group thing about our relationshp. I went and red a few things on it and it is personal and nothing anybody should know but us so I told him I knew he had a secret he was keeping from me but not what it was so he would tell me or something but he didn't. i kinda thought that he posted stuff and didn't think it was bad and I wanted to give him chances to say so but he just said he didnt have no secrets so i went back to read the rest and he had made it private only so now it is hidden from me.
I guess what I am asking is if he didn't think this was wrong why did he hide it when i found out? He still denies everything and now i got no proof because i cant see it anymore!!! i have been crying about this and i feel betrayed like he has a secret life on facebook or something! should i stay with him if he isn't going to be honest and still hides things?
Sorry if this is too long! (link)
|
I definitely wouldn't jump the gun and assume he's doing something on purpose to hurt you or the relationship. I definitely wouldn't go as far as saying he's leading a second life on Facebook either. He probably had no bad intentions for what he did at all. Many people do things like this like if they're seeking advice from other people or are just chit-chatting about their relationship (and relationships are good and bad). If he didn't say something like, "I hate my GF so much!" then you should really question how "serious" this is. It sort-of sounds, to me, like you may be overreacting just a tad.
It's possible he doesn't even consider it a secret from you. If it isn't a big deal for him then he might not even think twice about it, and, thus, not even realize he is "keeping" something from you.
Online discussions are much like non-online discussions. You meet with a group of your friends and chit-chat about all sorts of things like your girlfriend or boyfriend, things you've done lately, and more. The anonymity of the internet makes it even "safer" in that he might not disclose his real name (or your real name) and nobody will know just exactly who is posting what about who.
Talking to his friends (online or offline) doesn't mean he's leading a secret life. It means he's a human being.
When you meet with you girlfriends I bet sometimes you say, "Man, when BOYFRIEND does this crazy thing it really gets on my nerves. I love him though." He may just be doing the same thing online, especially if he doesn't have many in-real-life friends to talk with. I'm sure you don't fill him in on every little detail you discuss with your girl friends so why assume he would fill you in on every little detail he discusses with his online friends? Sure, you fill each other in on with the important things but not all of the other tidbits--this may just be an unimportant "tidbit" for him. He might be thinking--he talked with his friends about his relationship, so what?
If it turned out to not be so important to him (whatever he posted was resolved, for example) then there might not be a reason for him to tell you. I mean, if he realized later that he was just cranky then he might reread what he wrote and say, "Oh, wow. Yeah, I must have been REALLY tired then..." and move on with life.
Example: You're posting here about your relationship. You mean no harm in it. If he saw it, he may be hurt and feel that this shouldn't have been posted online since it is seen as a serious matter for you. You probably won't come up to him and say anything about this posting on Advicenators if the problem is resolved on your end. Turns out, this is pretty anonymous so even if your next-door neighbor is reading it they won't know it's you having relationship issues. That kind-of makes it more comfortable to come for advice, especially about personal matters. You probably wouldn't walk into your school and just announce these things ;) but it's sometimes good to have an ear that will listen to you.
Chances are he means no harm. Sit down and talk with him if it really still bothers you. Just say, "I read this thing online about us from Facebook and it appeared you had posted it. It hurt me because of x, y, and z things and I was upset. I wanted to confront you about it and then saw it was removed/made private. Can we please talk about this?" If it isn't a big deal to him then expect him to not quite understand what you're going on about. He may get hurt feelings if you've misinterpreted something he typed (it happens quite frequently) or may even feel like you won't allow him to talk to his friends about you/the relationship without reporting back to you about every detail.
As a last idea, the postings may actually have been meant as more of a good and positive thing on his side. Everyone needs to vent. Everyone needs advice from others from time to time. It's possible that he was seeking an outside source for a different prospective, some input, or just to let off some steam. It happens. It's human.
If he wasn't making fun of you or expressing strong dislike for you then I wouldn't worry about it too much. If he kept things fairly anonymous (no specific names) then nobody probably even knows it is you two. Seriously.
"i kinda thought that he posted stuff and didn't think it was bad..."
That's probably the real truth of it. He posted things and didn't think it was bad at all so didn't give it a second thought. He may now have made them private because he realized they shouldn't be seen by others or that the issues are over and he removed them. Maybe he just prefers things to be private and just realized they weren't already private after all and went on to fix that. It's good odds that you're "reading too into this" and it is only a coincidence he made things private recently on that.
Remember that making it "private" on Facebook, to my knowledge, means nobody else can see the information. Nobody else can read it but him. This means he isn't talking behind your back (which sounds like you biggest worry here) at all. Think of it like keeping a diary, in a sense. Private means only he can see it.
If you can't overcome then this you should just talk to the guy. He can tell you first-hand what was happening. Don't be surprised if it wasn't at all what you were thinking about it. Just relax and stop playing this guessing game. It's only setting yourself up to be hurt if he just never guesses what you want him to.
|
|
i'm looking for harem pants with my limited budget. most of the stores have very high price. I'm not a billionaire so ... where can i find them? Links are appreciated ! Thanks a lot. (link)
|
I would definitely check out ebay first because there are a lot of NWT (new with tags) designer clothing for sale there in various sizes. There are places from India that are making a lot of their income using eBay to sell off some of their merchandise like harem pants and bellydancing skirts, too.
That being said, definitely take a look at holyclothing.com first. They have an eBay store that sells a lot of nifty things, including harem pants from time to time.
On eBay there are also places like thebellydanceshop, indiantrend, and zotap that are users on eBay that have WONDERFUL deals for all sorts of colorful, unique designs regarding harem pants.
So, I would check there first. Check out eBay and just look for "harem pants" and maybe your size or look for the above sellers if you want a reliable seller.
|
|
im round 11 just started midd skool 3wk everybdy all my frands got some1 but mii i alrdy know its hard findin some1 cuz im 5'6ft i ask bout lets c 6 boys out im pretty popular not wit gurls but boys but most boys only c mii as their besties not as anythin more so how can i get some of em to like mii da only boys tat re left are the very popular boys the are hot and the VERY ugly 1's (link)
|
Be more mature and people will notice you.
The way you type makes you sound desperate, hopeless, and, to be quite blunt, stupid.
I know it's "cool" to chat-type but it makes you sound like a moron. Nobody can take you seriously let alone want to continue having a conversation with you online or through text. Now-a-days many relationships include typing to each other through chat programs.
Be a little more mature. Showing you're not like the rest of the morons at school gets you noticed. Some guy will say, "Wow...she's pretty...and smart! Nice!"
When you type "...em to like mii da only boys tat re left are the very popular..." it's hard to even understand what you are saying.
When people have an online persona like that it usually means it carries over into the real world. They may dress like they're a 5 year old. They might interrupt people a lot when talking and become very annoying. They might be very sloppy in how they dress or act.
The idea is this: If you can't take the time to actually type something that is understandable then you give off the impression that you don't take the time to care for yourself, let alone another human being.
People like to read words. Not half-words mixed with cute slang lingo. If you can't care enough about other people reading your information then it probably travels over into how you treat others at school.
Be more conscious about your actions. Care more about how you look to other people (and we are not talking about how you dress--we are talking about your PERSONALITY). Think about what other people like and dislike and apply that to how you act in public. Think about what people expect from a partner--do they want someone immature and who might break their heart at any moment or somebody who can handle serious discussions that a relationship involves?
Falling in love, getting a boyfriend, or dating around doesn't have anything to do with having pretty or ugly features. It's about how you carry yourself. It's about how you ACT. It's about your maturity level.
Just think about yourself and other people. Make some changes. Grow up a little. In time, some boy will notice you and you'll find your match.
|
|
What exactly happens if you have sex during your period? Is there a chance you can get pregnant? Also, dont guys thing its gross for having sex while your bleeding? I would like girl and guy replies please(: its urgent. (link)
|
The penis will go in and some blood will gush out. It's natural. It's like having a lot of fluid in your vagina. Some will, naturally, seep out. Some guys are OK with it and some are not. Some women think it's pretty disgusting while other think it's just fine. You have to talk with your partner about this.
Having sex on your period doesn't mean you're safe from pregnancy.
You are most fertile for about 1 to 3 days mid-cycle, for most women. This varies though. Many health women ovulation (release an egg to be fertilized during sexual intercourse) at different times in their cycle.
Most healthy women will find (through testing, exams, blood-work, and charting) that they ovulation almost exactly mid-way through their cycle. A normal woman has a 28 day cycle. That means she probaby ovulates on day 14. That means she can get pregnant even if she has sex on day 7 of her cycle.
The problem is that we're human.
We're not exactly predictable. A lot of the things we eat and what-not changes our fertility.
Take me for example:
I have a 28-day period. Exactly. On the dot.
I don't ovulate on day 14 though. I ovulate on day 20. That makes all the difference.
Now, sperm can live inside of the average woman for about 7 days, give or take a couple. This means that if I have sex on day 13 of my cycle I can get pregnant even though I won't be releasing an egg for another 7 days (day 20).
Day 20 is a lot different than Day 14.
Day 13 is a lot different than Day 7.
Because of this, MANY women get pregnant while they're having their periods. You cannot just force your body to ovulate whenever you want it to without using some sort of hormonal contraceptive (ie: birth control pills).
So, the way I see it, you have a 50/50 shot here. You may or may not be fertile during your period. It could be your peak fertility time for all we know.
You'd have to invest in quite a bit of time and effort to find out like I did. You have to really watch cervical mucus and temperature to chart differences. You have to purchase test kits for about 6 to 8 months. You have to see a doctor in regards to you fertility. Then, you'll have a better understanding just when you are fertile.
Some women will be fertile on day 14.
Some women will be fertile on day 10
Some women will be fertile on day 27.
Some women will be fertile on day 2.
How do you know? You just don't. You have to put a lot of time, effort, and money into finding out what your cycle patterns are. Even then, some women will find it completely unpredictable.
|
|
Ok well i'm thinking of having sex with my boyfriend this weekend. I just finished my period yesterday. Im wondering how you get in the mood to have sex. And also, isnt itkind of akward when a guy has to stop to but on a condom? I just need advice on how to get in the mood and stay in the mood. This is pretty urgent. (link)
|
Wouldn't it kind of kill the mood or be awkward to hear a 2 month old infant start screaming when you were about to have sex again?
Condoms are necessary. Always.
It might be a moment or two wait while he slides the condom on but, seriously, it isn't going to kill the mood any more than a baby would. You don't want babies so you have to sacrifice a little time. If you "lose the mood" in less than a minute then there very well could be hormonal imbalance problems.
They're only 88% effective on preventing pregnancy but it's better than going bareback and hoping one of the little guys don't make it.
Making out usually leads up to sex. Really, that's what it's intended purpose for. There are also other "foreplay" additions like engaging in oral sex or mutual masturbation.
|
|
Ok well i am goin to have sex with my boyfriend tomorrow and im nervous. How do i become less nervous? Like, were usin a condom and the rythm method. I dont think it is going to b very long. It's going to be my first time. Obviously i am unexperienced, so i am very nervous. I am going to do as much as i can to not get pregnant. The only thing i dont have is birth control. Thats why he is going to pull out slowly, and it wont be very long. I just dont want to ruin the moment for my boyfriend by being nervous while we have sex. Also, how long do i have to wait to get an accurate reading with the prgnancy test? I am sooooooo nervous...Please help... (link)
|
Oh, dear!
You're going to use the rhythm method for protection? Wow. I hope you know you stuff because:
This would mean:
-You've been looking at your cervical mucus every single day 6 to 8 months and charted it?
-You've seen a doctor regularly regarding reproduction and your own fertility.
-You've purchased the ovulation-tester kits for at least 6 months and tracked every single day's ovulation prediction onto a chart. (That's about $30 a month for at least 6 months.)
-You've taken your internal temperature (no: not oral ;) ) for the past 6 to 8 months and charted it.
-You have decided to not have sex for 2 weeks before your predicted ovulation date and for at least 1 and 1/2 weeks after.
Still think you're going to be using the rhythm method? Do you even know why a person does half of the things I listed above? I mean, ask yourself this and see if you can answer without having to look anything up or ask somebody else: Why would a woman need to take her internal temperature every day if she was trying to get pregnant or not get pregnant? What about this one: What does a woman look for in her cervical mucus when charting her fertility and cycles?
Kind of think it's a lot more effort than you previously thought? Kind of pricey now that you realize it entails test strips and doctor's appointments? Thinking only being able to have sex for only a few days every month is a little different? Yeah.
I KNOW what you're thinking: all women ovulate on day 14 of their cycle and that it's the only time they can get pregnant.
INCORRECT!
I have a perfect 28-day cycle. I ovulate on day 20! 20 is a lot different than 14.
Sperm are pretty strong little buggers. They've actually been found alive inside a corpse of a woman 2 weeks after they were ejaculated into her. 2 weeks. Alive in a dead body. 2 weeks! Usually the average is about 7 days or so but 2 weeks is really not unheard of at all.
Condoms: they're only about 88% effective on preventing pregnancy in the real world. We're not in a laboratory setting. We aren't doctors putting the condoms on. We aren't timing our sexual encounter. We aren't testing how much vaginal lubrication is present. We aren't storing the condoms the same as in the clinics. We are real human beings just having sex. Accidents happen. Condoms break. Condoms leak. Condoms don't protect you from STD transmission. I'm not pulling this information out of my ass either. The FDA says they're only about 88% effective on preventing pregnancies. That's a 12% failure. 12%! You want to risk that 12% of your health?
"Thats why he is going to pull out slowly, and it wont be very long."
That doesn't even make sense! While a full ejaculation can contain as many as 100 million sperm at a time, the sperm count within pre-ejaculate can be as many as a few million. It takes one to get your pregnant. Pre-ejaculation (pre-cum) seeps out of the penis whenever it wants without the male feeling ANYTHING. It can come out before you even insert the penis and you seriously think only having sex for 10 minutes is going to make you safe? You think him pulling his penis out of you slowly is somehow going to slow down the sperm? Get real!
You are not ready for sex. I know that's blunt but it's honesty. You have no idea what you're getting into. I know, I know--I'm so glad you came here and asked the questions. That's a step in the right direction. You're not using your head here though. Think about this LOGICALLY.
The human body is MEANT to reproduce. Sex was NOT intended just for pleasure--it is so that we reproduce. It feels good so that we keep doing it so that we make BABIES! It's what we do. It's a part of life. It's how we were made. If sex felt like you're being stabbed by flamethrowers in your most sensitive parts do you think ANYBODY would reproduce? Nope, we'd all die out. It feels good NOT because you should do it to have fun but because it encourages us to make more human beings.
A pregnancy test should show the correct results 10 days past the day your period was suppose to have began. This gives you body enough time to go through egg implantation and for the hCG hormone to be released into you bloodstream from the infant.
If you don't want babies then don't do something that makes babies.
If you still want to then you absolutely need to take EVERY precautionary measure possible AND STILL be prepared for consequences.
Condom, spermicidal lubricant, and hormonal birth control pills are you best bet. If you can find a seller of the Today's Sponge in your area then totally go for the whole shabang and use a male condom, spermicidal lubricant, the Today Sponge, and hormonal birth control pills.
If you're having sex then you probably had your period by now. If you've had your period then you need to start seeing a gynecologist regularly to make sure you're healthy in the female reproductive organs. If you haven't done that then you have a lot of things you haven't even touched base on and you're just running right into reproduction. Think about it.
Virgins can have STDs. Has your partner had a STD test? Have you? Did you know about 80% of the U.S. population already has herpes? Did you know there is no test at all for HPV in men and that the Gardasil vaccine only "protects" you from four out of OVER 100 strains?
Have you talked to your doctor about birth control methods? Spoken to him about your reproductive health? Requested birth control? Asked about what would make sexual activity safest for your own health?
Have you sat down and had a serious discussion with your partner about babies, STDs, and everything else? Is he on the same page as you in regards to abortions or STD testing?
Are you taking the measures to prevent pregnancy and respect your own body? Having sex because your hormones got the best of you isn't a way to protect yourself. This is your life we're talking about. It isn't a game show. You can't change channels. Sex can change your world.
Are you ready to answer the tough questions?
What if you do get pregnant?
What if you choose abortion and become infertile?
What if you later find out you did contract an STD somehow?
What if you give birth to a baby who has down-syndrome?
What if your partner just up and leaves you a week after you lose your virginity?
What if he leaves you after realizing you've gotten pregnant?
What would you do for a job if you were pregnant and wanted to raise the baby? Where would you live?
You have to answer the tough ones. You have to have the answers before you go getting naked with some boy.
Think about this.
Decide if you want your world to change.
Decide if you are really, truly ready for this new responsibility.
Think about what you are doing and what you are saying because, logically, none of it even makes sense.
Love doesn't mean having sex.
Having sex doesn't mean being in love.
Sex was not meant just for fun or pleasure.
You'll see.
I'm not trying to be mean or rude but I simply do not want you to go through the same things I did. I made huge mistakes and I'd like to think I can save some young women from doing the exact same things I did.
|
I am making a little scrapbook thing of stuff my boyfriend likes. He really likes Guns and Roses the band and I wanted to put a few little facts on them in the booklet thing. I don't know too much about them so I've been Googling some facts about Guns n Roses all day. One of the main things I want to include is when they started the band and/or formed into what they are today or whatever. I am finding conflicting information so I'm asking here: Does anybody know when Guns and Roses became a band?
THANK YOU ALL! (link)
|
The band Guns N Roses actually formed in Hollywood, Los Angeles, California in the year 1985.
The GNR or GN'R band name was fashioned using two of the group members' names. The original Guns 'n Roses group leader was named Tracii Guns and the Hollywood Rose group leader's name was Axl Rose (born as William Bruce Rose, Jr. and who is most known from Guns n' Roses, obviously).
|
I've Had depression i would say since the age of 12 i am now 20. I have felt so sad so angry that i either cry or hurt myself. I read your page but helpin others would kill me ive worked as a cashier for the last two yrs rite now i want to kill ppl and myself. The one question i keep asking myself is ' What is the point'?
- why do we go to school n then work?
-why do we work so hard a house family when in the end we all die n dont get to enjoy it?
- why bother havin a family wen i dont want kids that will feel as much pain as me?
-why do anything ?
there is no point n thats what scars me. my mother got a termination before my older bro n i, everyday i believe " why couldnt she kept that kid and termated me" i never asked to b born thats why deaths looks so peaceful.... I hope u can give me sum answers or advice. Ive tried doctors,meds, talkin to family and friends but nuthin works and i mean nuthin its the pian thats only stoppin me otherwise id hang myself or if i can get a gun id been dead by now... (link)
|
Hi:
If you want to hurt others (ie: ...ive worked as a cashier for the last two yrs rite now i want to kill ppl...) then you need to seek professional help immediately. Wanting to harm other people is exceptionally bad and you need to seek psychological treatment IMMEDIATELY.
Please, call up a doctor right now and make an appointment to talk with a therapist. Tell them exactly what you said here about wanting to hurt other people.
If these feelings are too strong please head directly to the nearest psychiatric ward and tell them you want to hurt other people. They can take you in for evaluation processing.
---
We go to school and then work to improve our lives. The more knowledge we gain, the more we can share with others and grow into living better futures. If you did not work--what would you do with your time? If you did not ever go to school then how would you even know how to function at all?
We work hard to have a good life while we can. If we are giving life then why not take the opportunity to live it the best we can? Why not be comfortable and fulfilled? Why waste your life by sitting around and never striving for more?
People have children because they want to, usually. They want to raise another life. In this point in you life you should not have children. If you are wanting to hurt other people then you do not need to care for an infant. Nobody makes you have children. There is no rule that you must reproduce. Why this is a problem for you, I have no idea. Just don't have children if you don't want children.
You never asked to be born but you were given life. Life is a gift. It is an opportunity to do something. It gives us the ability to help and change the world. It allows us to become something. We can be useful to others. Every thing you do impacts other people.
---
Seek psychological help immediately.
|
so im trying to come up with some creative fantasy football names, can you give me any examples. ive seen the ones people use before and they have never been creative. last year mine was the pink panthers (my ex gfs idea). :) so if you have any ideas thatd be great.
(link)
|
This is actually a pretty difficult one for me since I don't play much football and don't know much about the sport in general. There are lots of things to think about in regards to fantasy football names. If you take the word "football" in general you can think of some interesting themes to go along, which can be quite funny in some terms:
Fluffy Footballettes
Ferocious Footballers
Fearsome Feet
Football Fury
Freeloader Footballers
Football Field Fury
etc. etc. etc.
There are other things like "tackle" like:
Troublesome Tackle
Take-down Tacklers
The Tacklers
Tacklers-R-Us
Otherwise, I've found a few comical fantasy football names like:
No Punt Intended
Crack'a Tacklin'
Urine Trouble
Victorious Secret
The Cereal Killers
Multiple Scorgasms
Dixie Normous
Deep Throw It
Fourth Down Syndrome
For girls:
Dynamite Divas
Poppin' Princesses
For guys:
Hunky Heros
Hairless Headskins (for the baldies)
Some Classics:
The Goonies
Balsies
The 69ers
Masters of Mayhem
Enders in the Zone
Crabby Crusaders
|
|
I want some ideas about some nicknames preferably emo nicknames for my name. my name is Sasha. (link)
|
Slasher Sasha
Sasha Suicide
Psycho Sasha ("Syko" or "Sycho")
Screamo Sasha
Sliced Sasha
Shredded Sasha
Slicer Sasha
Cyanide Sasha ("Syanide" or "Syinide")
Snide Sasha
Sasha Serpent
Slayer Sasha / Sasha Slayer
Sasha Sword
Scolded Sasha
Sasha Scare
Savage Sasha
Sasha Scythe
Senile Sasha
Severed Sasha
Severe Sasha
Schizophrenic Sasha ("Skitzo" Sasha)
Serial Sasha
Sasha Skull
Sinfully Sasha
Sasha Syringe
For more of a scene nickname you might want to think about something like:
Simply Sasha (Sasha Simplicity)
Saturday Sasha / Sasha Saturday
Scatter-brained Sasha
Scenario Sasha
Sasha Seahorse
Sasha Seduction
Self-Sasha (like: self-confidence, self-esteem, self-image, self-importance, etc.)
Sheriff Sasha
Super Sasha
|
|
How long does it take for an STD to show up on a test (link)
|
As little as a week until as long as 10 years.
Most incubation periods are only a few weeks to a month. Herpes, for example, may show signs and symptoms of transmission after only 7 days after the infection.
However, more serious diseases, such as HIV and AIDS, have taken as long as 10 years to show up positive on a blood STD test.
It's always best to get yourself tested every 6 months no matter what. Most people do not change partners more than once every 6 months so it can help you to stay on top of your own health. For reasons in relation to AIDS contamination you will want to have blood-work done every 6 months for at least 10 years to make sure you don't develop the antibodies later on after infection. It's rare but does occur.
Take your health serious. One STD test is never enough. Protect yourself from disease in every way possible. Condoms and other contraceptive method simply do not make you "safe" from disease. Nothing is safe so make sure you use your head always get tested.
|
|
I found this online thing where you can post ads for what you'll do for $5. I am totally down for that because I NEED MORE MONEY. I think I can do a lot of things on the Fiverr site thing but I'm afraid it's a scam and they'll like take money from me or not pay me right or something. Is Fiverr a scam or no? I only wanna do safe online work where i will really get paid. it's just www.fiverr.com (link)
|
I recently used Fiverr to do some work myself. I did 15 minutes of any audio transcription for $5. The truth is that Fiverr is NOT a scam and they're not going to ask money from you but they do request a small percentage of your $5 profit.
Fiverr has to cover the costs of PayPal (how you'll get paid through Fiverr) so they do take $1 of your earnings. That isn't too big of a deal, depending on what you are doing for the $5 to begin with really. Just think of it was Fourr instead ;) You really get only $4 for whatever it is that you choose to do for others.
Other than that, it costs nothing to open your account or post your ads. As long as your postings are not adult-theme (sexual) you are pretty much good to go. Everything is so instant that you could, literally, begin work 5 minutes after signing-up and posting your information.
You have to complete the job tasks at a set-time though; however, you choose the time range. If you don't complete a task then you aren't paid--but they're not going to take money from you.
Go for it. :)
And, plus, there are LOTS to buy on there if you check it out. Look through some listings before posting because they will give you WONDERFUL ideas on what sells and what just doesn't. The more active gigs you have available, the more chances you have at landing work.
|
|
how do i know if i can be pregnant does popping ur cherry make u bleed? (link)
|
If you have ever menstruated (had your period) then you are probably a fertile woman.
When you have your period it means that your body has released an egg to become fertilized by a man's sperm. When your period comes it means you did not get pregnant.
If you have not had your period ever then it's entirely too unpredictable to tell you if you can get pregnant.
Pregnancy has absolutely nothing to do with your cherry (really called a hymen). It's even possible to get pregnant without breaking (or "popping") your hymen. Many women DO bleed when the hymen is torn BUT it has absolutely nothing to do with getting pregnant. It isn't even the same place where your period comes from.
Engaging in sexual play usually makes you at risk to get pregnant. If you aren't sexually active then you probably won't be getting pregnant any time soon.
|
|
i got my wisdom teeth out on monday the 23 and i got my stiches out yesterday the 30th. is it okay if i can smoke weed now? does anyone know because i heard you cant after you get your wisdom teeth out because of blood clots? (link)
| |
You should refrain from smoking anything for at least 4 more weeks to allow your body to heal fully. Oxygen depletion in the bloodstream occurs when inhaling smoke. This causes you body to slow the healing process, build up heavier amounts of scar tissue, and makes you more susceptible to infections. Blood clots are probably not as a severe risk now since you've already had stitches removed and should be healed enough to not have settling blood in the area as much now.
|
I'm on anxiety/depression meds which I take on a regular basis. I recently cut my wrist with horizontal cuts. I'm at an indecision in my life and see the only way is to commit suicide and not live in what the terrible society is coming to be. suggestions? (link)
|
Don't do it.
If you're taking anxiety and depression medications then you should be seeing a therapist. You should always be open and honest to your therapist. If you are suicidal then it's time to speak up and say so in your sessions. It's important so that they can help you overcome these hurdles.
There's more to life than what the media brings. You and I both know that. Society has become a terrible thing. We're obsessed with sex, violence, and stupid humor. For the most part, the society is careless for others.
The truth is that people exist that do still care. I care. I don't even know you and I would cry if I found out you committed suicide. I don't believe anyone should have to resort to such things to get out of a bad situation.
Cutting is caused by one of two things. One is that you you need to release bottled up feelings and emotions and have found found an acceptable form for you. Even animals do this. The second is a cry out for attention. Even the people who cut themselves for only attention purposes are screaming help--even if we don't think so. They need just as much help as a person who cuts themselves to release does.
My suggestion here is this:
Talk with your therapist. Be honest and open about your suicidal thoughts and self-harm.
Make a better society. You obviously care about others. You do or you wouldn't notice how terrible society has become. You are the type of person we need to turn this thing around. If everyone who disliked where society has taken them committed suicide then there would be nobody to stop it from getting worse. There would be nobody to stand up and say, "Something is not right here!"
I'm listening.
Others are listening.
Your steps are to do what you think society needs to improve. It encourages people around you. It builds self-confidence and self-esteem. You finally "find your place" in the world.
Volunteer your time. There are SO many organizations today that are lacking volunteers. They are having a hard time doing basic things like feeding the elderly or even passing out blankets to homeless shelters. You are needed. You are wanted and desired.
Take this opportunity for change. If nothing comes of it then you didn't waste anything. Dying will be a cease of existence so what does it matter if you extend this and live for another year to see what would happen if you spend time volunteering to others? There is nothing to lose.
Pick up your phone book. Search the internet. Make a date once every week for awhile to go somewhere and volunteer your time. Soup kitchens, homeless shelters, battered women and children homes, elderly centers, cancer hospitals, and even libraries need people to just sit down and help. Sometimes all you need to do is talk with somebody for a few minutes and you can make things better for them.
You don't have anything to lose here. You might as well try to do something, right? Give yourself a year and see where you stand. Make an effort to volunteer at an organization or two once every week. Make it priority. If you feel you don't have anything to live for then live for this for just a year and then see where you stand.
You'll find your place in the world. You'll meet interesting fellows and friends. Your life will improve. Things will be quite different.
It did for me.
|
Turning 16 In September(: / Female
ohkay so ivee been feeling likee my harmonees hvee been goingg crazyy to feel whaat its likee to have sex. I have a boyfriend who ifeel really comfortable whidd andd can picturee myself loosing it too . Buh im really self consious about my bodyy , dahts whaat stopps me from actually being sexually active whidd someeone, ifeel likee my blubber looks sooo disgustingg when im nakeed! Im 5'2 andd weight about 138 . Whaat shouldd i do? (link)
|
Sex isn't just picturing yourself doing it with a particular person. That isn't what sex is about at all. It isn't a reason to have sex.
Sex comes with a lot of things.
Sex makes babies. That's what it's whole purpose is. Sex wasn't meant to just be fun. It is part of creation. It is part of reproduction.
Accidents will happen.
No matter if you wear a condom and use hormonal birth control pills.
Accidents happen.
If you can picture this and be fine then maybe it's time, but having the doubt in the first place is a huge sign that you are not ready:
You have sex with your guy. Two months down the road you realize you're pregnant.
What will you do? Will you be mature and discuss this with your partner? Will he be supportive of the decisions you both agree to? Will he run and hide out of fear? Will you panic?
If you decide to keep the baby then what if you find out, in the later portion of pregnancy, that something is wrong with it? What if the doctor runs the usual tests and comes back to you and says, "Well...something isn't quite right. We're looking over some bloodwork and we're pretty sure your baby will have downsyndrome..."
Will you be able to cope? Can you deal with that? Will you change your mind about everything and put it up for adoption all of a sudden? Will your partner be mature enough to talk with you about this and help you two together come to an adult decision?
Your body has nothing to do with if you're ready for sex. You can be 6'3" and 200lbs and not be ready for sex. You can be the most comfortable person in their skin and not be ready for sex. You don't judge yourself when it's time to have sex based on what you feel about yourself. Sex isn't how you FEEL about you body. Sex is making babies. Flat-out. That's what happens. That's nature.
Your hormones might be going WILD--they do for everyone--but it doesn't mean you're ready to handle that responsibility. No 16 year old girl should have to go through an abortion. No 16 year old girl should have to give birth to a deformed baby. No 16 year old girl should have to set-up an adoption for their infant. 16 is for going out to movies and pizza. 16 is for hanging out with you best buds and checking out hot guys. 16 is for enjoying life. Not being stressed out and worried over something so huge.
Sex is for reproduction. It is. Honestly. It feels good. It does. Honestly. The truth is, there is no way to stop your body from doing what it was naturally meant to do. Hormonal birth control is only about 93% effective on preventing pregnancy in the real world. Condoms are only about 88% on preventing pregnancy in the real world. These methods fail. Accidents happen. They always do. Nobody EVER thinks, "Gee, I know the condom is going to burst tonight so I better use some spermicidal lube, the pull out method, and take my birth control pill on time!" It happens, literally, in the blink of an eye.
I know more than one person who got pregnant their first time having sex.
My cousin is one of these people. Her boyfriend was told he would NEVER reproduce because of a childhood injury. The doctors told him over and over again that he would never have a baby in his life. My cousin had a head injury when she was a child and the doctor's told her it injured the pituitary gland that she would probably have a lot of hormonal problems growing up that would prevent her from having a baby without something like invitro-fertilization. They got together one night, had sex (with a condom, just for note), and the next month she found out she was pregnant. It looked literally impossible for her to have gotten pregnant but it's true. The odds were WAY against her getting pregnant. Accidents happen.
And I haven't even touched base that NO birth control method--condoms, spermicidal lubes, birth control pills, etc--protect you against STDs. Just for an important note: virgins can have STDs, too, and not even know it! I wish I was kidding!
Now, I am not picking on you by any means but you need to look at yourself. "Harmonees" is a ridiculous way to spell "hormones" and you and I both know that. You purposely typed things like "body" and "crazy" with two "y" letters because you think it's cute. That's fine. It really is. If you think that's cute then fine.
Do you think a mother would do that though?
Do you think someone who is ready to have a baby would type that way?
What about a doctor...do you think a doctor, a grown-up person, would type that way?
It's cute. Yes. It makes you look very immature though. It makes you look, quite frankly, like a child. Being cute is something a child wants. An adult wants to look mature. They want to come off as professional and educated.
Do you think you look professional and educated?
What I'm saying is this:
Adults can deal with babies. They can deal with the consequences of reproduction better. They are more equipped to handle accidents.
Children, preteens, teens, and young adults aren't. You just aren't. You don't have that life experience yet. You haven't been throw curveballs yet. Hell, you haven't even had a chance to live yet!
Nix the idea of sex.
Sex can wait.
Your hormones will calm down as you mature. You'll see.
In a year or two you won't even be the same person who wrote this question. You'll look back and be absolutely embarrassed that you wrote this here. You'll be ashamed of yourself. You'll be shocked.
You'll see.
|
o.k. so i sometimes get razor burn a lot and a few weeks ago i got razor burn kind of on the outside of my vagina lips kind of in the crease of my leg. it started bothering me, as any razor burn does, and i scratched it so bad that it kind of scabbed up and turned into a sore. do you think it'll go away or should i go get tested or something cause its' really irritating me. i wouldn't think an std would be in the crease of my leg/vagina but who knows, right!
also..any ways to prevent razor burn or help it in my shaving technique..thank you so much. (link)
|
Herpes, HPV, and a wide variety of other sexually transmitted diseases can appear on the outer areas of your genitals. Actually, things like HPV can even infect your vocal cords. Coldsores are herpes and appear on the lips and inside the nostrils. Some people have died from herpes (oral and genital) outbreaks that spread upwards into the brain. You can actually contract some illnesses on ANY part of you body. There are people alive right now with frequent herpes outbreaks on their elbow because somebody wiped their infected whatever against a small cut or scrape. STD doesn't necessarily mean INSIDE genitals.
The truth is if you've ever had any sort of sexual contact then it's worth going to the doctor. While you might think it's just an irritated razor burn it could turn out to be something very treatable if caught early enough.
I had a friend who had "razor burn" frequently. She figured it was normal and even asked her mother about it. They didn't worry about it. When she had her first pap smear the exam came back with an abnormal cell reading. Her mysterious razor burn turned out to be genital warts that would flare up moreso when she shaved. Go figure.
If you go to forums pertaining to herpes outbreaks you'll find that most of them experience "razor burn" type outbreaks along their genital regions. When they shave it can irritate the skin and spur a new outbreak on. A lot of them have scars from it, even. Some of them went years thinking it was just bad razor burn from new razors and the like--only later to find out they tested positive for genital herpes.
If you have any doubt in your mind then you definitely should see a doctor.
If it's nothing then it's no big deal. You'll know for next time.
If it's something you might thank your lucky stars you're catching this early enough for proper treatment.
I suggest making an appointment for something immediate. Many things require swabs of the actual sore or scab in testing for things like herpes. You could express your concerns about specific STD testing to the doctor so that he knows to make sure to list a test for something like "herpes" down on you chart. Many times doctor's look over testing for herpes because about 80% of the U.S. population is already infect. Ask your doctor to kindly test you. There is nothing to lose in this, really.
|
22/f. Not that any of you can read my mind, but any kind of insight would be wonderful. I apologize for the length here, but I need help.
Okay.
When I was 18, my boyfriend at the time had just broken up with me. He had been emotionally abusive, and quite good at convincing me that I was unattractive. Even so, as the vicious cycle goes, I thought I loved him. So these friends of mine said, "You're hot, who cares what he says? Let's do a photoshoot and we'll show you, and you can show him what he's throwing away."
So we did. But, uh, it got carried away, pretty much, and turned kind of pornographic. Like, straight up shots of my *ahem*, and things...I didn't even remember it getting that carried away. I was depressed at the time, and I swear I wasn't even mentally present.
A couple of years later, I did yet ANOTHER nude shoot, modeling for a guy friend of mine. We did more artistic shots, but a couple of them were kinda raunchy. I thought I was doing him a favor, modeling for him so he could work on his portfolio, and I thought it'd be fun to see myself looking hot. It never occurred to me that he was just trying to see me naked, but that's what my current boyfriend says.
Now I'm 22, I've found the man with whom I envision myself having a future, and we're ridiculously happy and in love, but he is absolutely HORRIFIED and disgusted by these indiscretions. He finds them immoral, and he gets panicky when he thinks of my naked pictures being out there. I do, too, don't get me wrong...but the first pair of friends let me search every computer in their house (they're a couple; they live together) and delete ALL pictures of me. My guy was mad at me for not getting copies of them before I deleted them, because he wanted to know what he was dealing with...and he has a right to know, it's true. I just wanted them gone, you know? Even so, my guy's convinced they have copies of them hidden somewhere.
Anyway, I digress.
My boyfriend wants SO BADLY to understand what the hell I was thinking. Why the draw? Why did I want these people to see me naked? Why the hell did I let them KEEP the pictures? Why was I so open about my body and sexuality when I'm really very self-conscious and shy about it?
It drives him crazy to hear me say I don't know, but I really don't! I don't know why I did those things, and I hate myself for doing them. It's disgusting and slutty, and...just...UGH!!
Anyone have any ideas? ANY insight? Any thoughts? Comments? Something?
Thanks for your help...:'( (link)
|
I think the real issue your boyfriend is having is that you cannot quite pinpoint WHY you did these things in the past. You explain some reasoning behind it yet when you are presented with the direct question of, "Why did you take the nude photos?" you cannot explain. This makes it seem like the things you said before presented with the direct question were just being said to get him "off you back" or "out of your hair" about the incident.
The truth is, you know, I know, and he knows that taking erotic photos with friends because you're feeling low is not normal. It isn't healthy. It's, to say the least, self-destructive.
He wants to know why. Guys grow up learning a different pattern of thought than women. We're told to hug and cuddle baby dolls--and that feelings and emotions are the most important things about a person. Men aren't quite taught that sort of thing. They're handed G.I. Joes and told that being muscular and brave makes a man a man and are the most important things.
He doesn't "get" what pushed you to do the photo-shoots when you are claiming it was emotional distress. What makes the situation worse is that you didn't just do it once. You did it twice. The second time is blatantly obvious to any outsider that the guy just wanted to get in your pants and check you out. I know how it is to be naive. It just doesn't seem like someone who has been sexually involved in these sorts of photos would think, "Oh! He just wants some good photos! That's all!" I mean, once you do the nasty on camera then when somebody whips out of camera it isn't like you never thought of showing your naughty bits. I hope that makes sense.
Nobody takes a nude photo set for no reason. You don't just buy a digital camera and go at it to trash the photos or store them for some odd rainy day. You usually have a plan behind them.
The first time you have no idea what the plan was. Apparently, from what you say, the initial plan was to give them to your ex-boyfriend to throw your body in his face as a sort-of, "You won't get better than this!" attitude. When that passed the people who took the photos probably had more intention since they kept them. People can sell these things on the internet. I know a girl who actually sold a few photos of herself for quick cash before. People usually do these things to make money. Not to just keep them around.
The second time you were under the impression that your body was a work of art and that this guy was going to do something great with the photos. Be realistic here. We aren't living in fantasy land. You know guys are guys and that they typically think with their penises. It's OK to say, "I thought it would be fun to get naked for the camera again. It made me feel attractive again." I mean absolutely disrespect but what you say about this particular incident sounds like a load of bull. In any way, you knew the photos were going to be used in some fashion. Who knows if the boy really did put them in his portfolio (which, by the way, is the one of the oldest "lines in the book" when trying to bang a lady-friend). It's kind-of too late to worry about it.
So, your current boyfriend finds out that you showed you goods on camera twice. You can't really explain why. You can't pinpoint your reasoning. "I didn't feel good about myself so I got naked and had sex on camera," just doesn't sound sane, to be quite honest. He's hoping you're sane. He's going, "Please, God, say you had a good reason for this!" He wants to understand so he knows if this sort of mess is going to happen in the future. If you cannot explain your past then how will you ever be able to have a stable future? They say you learn from the past--how can you learn if you have absolutely no idea what drives you to do the things you do?
Your boyfriend isn't being an ass.
He's worried. He wants to know YOU. He wants to know what makes you tick. He wants to know what drives you. He thought he knew and then you threw these naked shots in his face with a, "Whoops! Lapse of sanity!"
Sit down and discuss it with him. Try to figure out what made the photo-shoots so appealing BOTH times. Explain how you felt. Explain what was going through your mind. Explain what was fascinating about the shots, the camera being directed at you, or your friends being so interested in your naked body.
Then, apologize. Explain that you cannot believe you let it happen twice but now that you've figured out what caused the whole mess then you know not to get into that sort of predicament again. There are better ways to handle break-ups. You are smarter than to believe a young photographer just wants some good shots and that you're the only woman on the planet that can give him those.
Then give this time to heal over. Talk with him until all of his questions are answered and you've found the real reasons behind your actions. Let him think things over.
If I found out that my partner had taken a sexual photo-shoot I would be pretty upset, especially if he had given all of the photos of a friend for keeping and deleted them, randomly, when I found out. I would be mortified to find out that he did it twice--and for an even dumber reason the second time.
Take a good, long look at your past. Think about you history. Think about how you feel and how you've felt about your body. Think about why you found taking nude photos of yourself to be truly appealing. If you come up with the, "I felt bad about myself and wanted to rub my body in my ex's face!" again then something is wrong. I don't think the average female takes pornographic shots of herself during an emotional break-down without any sort of thought process to it to drive her. Then, if you claim it was all part of some huge emotional break-down then explaining the second time is going to be even tougher. It's pretty hard to say, "I was really dumb and had no idea he had a penis!"
Your guy just wants to know why.
Try to figure it out and work with him on this. In time he will heal. I'm sure it's just a big shock factor for him.
|
What are some NON-HORMONAL methods of birth control that can be used along with male latex condoms?
I'm on a hormonal birth control now, which I'm not liking too much (been on a few different pills over the past three years). I need something that's still has a pretty good efficacy rate in case something goes wrong with the condom.
19/F (link)
|
There are not as many non-hormonal birth control methods as you'd think, really. There are some though:
The sponge ("The Today Sponge") - Basically just what it says. It's a small sponge-like thing that is filled with spermicidal gel. You insert it into the vagina and during intercourse the male will ejaculate onto it. The sperm will land onto the sperm and mostly die from the spermicidal gel within it. It's about 84% effective in the real-world. You can put this into your vagina up to 24 hours before you have sex and still be protected.
Female condoms (not with male condoms) - A female condom is a polyurethane, tubular device that is placed within the vagina. A ring helps to hold it to the cervix and another stays at the opening of the vagina. This can be placed inside the vagina up to 8 hours before engaging in intercourse.
Diaphragm (not with male condoms despite what they may claim) - Diaphragms are a rubbery thing you place into your vagina and over your cervix. You fill the indent with spermicidal lubricant. The reason you cannot use this with a male condoms is that if your partner is lengthy the condom may cause friction against the diaphragm and tear. Can be put in up to 3 hours before intercourse but must be left in for 8 full hours after.
Cervical cap (not with male condoms) - It's basically a smaller version of the diaphragm. It requires less spermicidal lubricant and can be placed within the vagina for up to 6 hours before intercourse.
Lea's Shield (not with a male condom) - This is very similar to the cervical cap and diaphragm. It's made of silicon and suctions to the cervix to create a barrier. The way it is created it allows cervical mucus to come out of the vagina but nothing to come inside of the cervix. You place the spermicidal lubricant into the cup area. You wear it for up to 48 hours before intercourse if desired but must absolutely wear it for 8 hours after.
Spermicidal lubes/foams/films - These are basically toxic substances to sperm. Some condoms are "laced" with them. You can buy them in a variety form (lubricant, foam, film, and even gel). The sperm mostly die when they come in contact with it. It's best used with a condom and can increase a condom's effectiveness but is not the best method to use alone.
IUD - The user below is slightly wrong. An IUD did not just plug into your tubes and doctor's don't like to insert these into young women who have never had children because there is a chance of creating infertility. Some IUDs do release hormones also. An IUD is inserted into the bottom of the uterus where the cervix is. It looks like a "T" shape. When a woman gets pregnant and the sac fills with fluid the top parts of the "T" will burst the sac before the baby can continue to form and grow. Sad but true.
Fertility Awareness - This requires A LOT of maintenance and you REALLY have to know your stuff to pull this one off. Basically you track your cycles through charts, temperature, cervical positioning, and cervical mucus every single day. After 6 to 8 months you'll get a decent idea of exactly when you are ovulating. Since sperm can live within the human body for about 7 days on average you refrain from intercourse for 1 and 1/2 week before your predicted ovulation date and 1 week after your predicted ovulation date. It's trick. It's limiting. If you forget to do it one day then you pretty much need to start all over.
Pull-out - Believe or not, this is considered a form of "non-hormonal birth control" so I'll touch on it. Your partner pulls out of you right before he ejaculates. It isn't very effective in real life. While a full ejaculation can contain as many as 100 million sperm at a time, the sperm count within pre-ejaculate can be as many as a few million. It takes one to get your pregnant.
Tubal ligation - This is also referred to as getting your tubes tied. Most doctors would prefer to not do this with younger women, especially those who have not had children yet. They basically separate the fallopian tubes so that eggs cannot make their way down to the uterus for fertilization. This is considered to be a permanent operation. Believe it or not, this sort of "sterilization" is not even 100% effective either. There is about a 5% failure rate for the first 10 years after having it done. To me, that sounds like until you hit menopause for most women.
Essure Sterilization - Similar to tubal ligation in a sense. Rings are placed tightly onto the tubes. The woman's own flesh grows scar tissue around it so that the tubes are sealed shut, disallowing any sperm or egg from ever meeting. It is also not 100% effective, of course, and is not reversible.
There are also the vasectomy (male sterilization) methods and a full hysterectomy (which a doctor just won't do for no real cause). A vasectomy can be reversed in most cases but is not 100% effective on preventing pregnancies either. Speak with your doctor if you and your partner are interested.
The human body was meant to reproduce and that's what it really strives to do when engaging in sexual intercourse. It's what we are suppose to do. It's what the body wants to do. There is no 100% fool-proof method so research carefully before taking the plunge and changing things up. You should always--ALWAYS--be prepared for an "accident" to happen. It's a part of nature, being human, and life.
|
|