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SEX!!!!!!!! Its urgent!!
Ok well i am goin to have sex with my boyfriend tomorrow and im nervous. How do i become less nervous? Like, were usin a condom and the rythm method. I dont think it is going to b very long. It's going to be my first time. Obviously i am unexperienced, so i am very nervous. I am going to do as much as i can to not get pregnant. The only thing i dont have is birth control. Thats why he is going to pull out slowly, and it wont be very long. I just dont want to ruin the moment for my boyfriend by being nervous while we have sex. Also, how long do i have to wait to get an accurate reading with the prgnancy test? I am sooooooo nervous...Please help...
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Hey,
You can become less nervous by breathing (taking long breaths in and out), listening to music you like, or by talking about having sex with your boyfriend ahead of time. Whether it is the night before by text/in person or right before you are going to have sex. It will release any tension between you two. If you are relaxed, he will be too.
I am sure he is feeling simular to you right now and when you talk about it beforehand you both will be more calm and enjoy yourselves more. I am glad you are taking the precautions so you do not become pregnant. When you do have sex, be sure to tell him what feels good and what feels a bit uncomfortable. Communication is key. If he is wearing a condom you shouldn't have to worry too much about becoming pregnant, unless he happens to get cum in your vagina (by the condom breaking or just from his hands getting it on your vagina). The condom should prevent that from happening, but if you have spermicidal foam that really helps as well.
As for getting an accurate reading on a pregnancy test, usually 6-12 days after you ovulate or the day right after you miss a period is when to check. Do not think about the sex too much, I am sure it will go fine. If you tell yourself it is going to be great and you communicate, it will be <3
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Oh, dear!
You're going to use the rhythm method for protection? Wow. I hope you know you stuff because:
This would mean:
-You've been looking at your cervical mucus every single day 6 to 8 months and charted it?
-You've seen a doctor regularly regarding reproduction and your own fertility.
-You've purchased the ovulation-tester kits for at least 6 months and tracked every single day's ovulation prediction onto a chart. (That's about $30 a month for at least 6 months.)
-You've taken your internal temperature (no: not oral ;) ) for the past 6 to 8 months and charted it.
-You have decided to not have sex for 2 weeks before your predicted ovulation date and for at least 1 and 1/2 weeks after.
Still think you're going to be using the rhythm method? Do you even know why a person does half of the things I listed above? I mean, ask yourself this and see if you can answer without having to look anything up or ask somebody else: Why would a woman need to take her internal temperature every day if she was trying to get pregnant or not get pregnant? What about this one: What does a woman look for in her cervical mucus when charting her fertility and cycles?
Kind of think it's a lot more effort than you previously thought? Kind of pricey now that you realize it entails test strips and doctor's appointments? Thinking only being able to have sex for only a few days every month is a little different? Yeah.
I KNOW what you're thinking: all women ovulate on day 14 of their cycle and that it's the only time they can get pregnant.
INCORRECT!
I have a perfect 28-day cycle. I ovulate on day 20! 20 is a lot different than 14.
Sperm are pretty strong little buggers. They've actually been found alive inside a corpse of a woman 2 weeks after they were ejaculated into her. 2 weeks. Alive in a dead body. 2 weeks! Usually the average is about 7 days or so but 2 weeks is really not unheard of at all.
Condoms: they're only about 88% effective on preventing pregnancy in the real world. We're not in a laboratory setting. We aren't doctors putting the condoms on. We aren't timing our sexual encounter. We aren't testing how much vaginal lubrication is present. We aren't storing the condoms the same as in the clinics. We are real human beings just having sex. Accidents happen. Condoms break. Condoms leak. Condoms don't protect you from STD transmission. I'm not pulling this information out of my ass either. The FDA says they're only about 88% effective on preventing pregnancies. That's a 12% failure. 12%! You want to risk that 12% of your health?
"Thats why he is going to pull out slowly, and it wont be very long."
That doesn't even make sense! While a full ejaculation can contain as many as 100 million sperm at a time, the sperm count within pre-ejaculate can be as many as a few million. It takes one to get your pregnant. Pre-ejaculation (pre-cum) seeps out of the penis whenever it wants without the male feeling ANYTHING. It can come out before you even insert the penis and you seriously think only having sex for 10 minutes is going to make you safe? You think him pulling his penis out of you slowly is somehow going to slow down the sperm? Get real!
You are not ready for sex. I know that's blunt but it's honesty. You have no idea what you're getting into. I know, I know--I'm so glad you came here and asked the questions. That's a step in the right direction. You're not using your head here though. Think about this LOGICALLY.
The human body is MEANT to reproduce. Sex was NOT intended just for pleasure--it is so that we reproduce. It feels good so that we keep doing it so that we make BABIES! It's what we do. It's a part of life. It's how we were made. If sex felt like you're being stabbed by flamethrowers in your most sensitive parts do you think ANYBODY would reproduce? Nope, we'd all die out. It feels good NOT because you should do it to have fun but because it encourages us to make more human beings.
A pregnancy test should show the correct results 10 days past the day your period was suppose to have began. This gives you body enough time to go through egg implantation and for the hCG hormone to be released into you bloodstream from the infant.
If you don't want babies then don't do something that makes babies.
If you still want to then you absolutely need to take EVERY precautionary measure possible AND STILL be prepared for consequences.
Condom, spermicidal lubricant, and hormonal birth control pills are you best bet. If you can find a seller of the Today's Sponge in your area then totally go for the whole shabang and use a male condom, spermicidal lubricant, the Today Sponge, and hormonal birth control pills.
If you're having sex then you probably had your period by now. If you've had your period then you need to start seeing a gynecologist regularly to make sure you're healthy in the female reproductive organs. If you haven't done that then you have a lot of things you haven't even touched base on and you're just running right into reproduction. Think about it.
Virgins can have STDs. Has your partner had a STD test? Have you? Did you know about 80% of the U.S. population already has herpes? Did you know there is no test at all for HPV in men and that the Gardasil vaccine only "protects" you from four out of OVER 100 strains?
Have you talked to your doctor about birth control methods? Spoken to him about your reproductive health? Requested birth control? Asked about what would make sexual activity safest for your own health?
Have you sat down and had a serious discussion with your partner about babies, STDs, and everything else? Is he on the same page as you in regards to abortions or STD testing?
Are you taking the measures to prevent pregnancy and respect your own body? Having sex because your hormones got the best of you isn't a way to protect yourself. This is your life we're talking about. It isn't a game show. You can't change channels. Sex can change your world.
Are you ready to answer the tough questions?
What if you do get pregnant?
What if you choose abortion and become infertile?
What if you later find out you did contract an STD somehow?
What if you give birth to a baby who has down-syndrome?
What if your partner just up and leaves you a week after you lose your virginity?
What if he leaves you after realizing you've gotten pregnant?
What would you do for a job if you were pregnant and wanted to raise the baby? Where would you live?
You have to answer the tough ones. You have to have the answers before you go getting naked with some boy.
Think about this.
Decide if you want your world to change.
Decide if you are really, truly ready for this new responsibility.
Think about what you are doing and what you are saying because, logically, none of it even makes sense.
Love doesn't mean having sex.
Having sex doesn't mean being in love.
Sex was not meant just for fun or pleasure.
You'll see.
I'm not trying to be mean or rude but I simply do not want you to go through the same things I did. I made huge mistakes and I'd like to think I can save some young women from doing the exact same things I did.
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