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Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.
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The Question
im 18, but still in high school, dont have a job, but working on a becomming a nurse along with graduating high school, and im in a stable relationship with a "commited" boyfriend.. but who knows what the future holds with those. I also have a great relationship with both of my parents...but I have these urges to have a baby or to get pregnant. iv always LOVED kids and working with them or baby sitting or playing or teaching. i always knew i wanted kids. and my mom said when i was in my mid 20s i was going to have these crazy urges to have kids esspecially with the way i love kids. im really afraid i mgith have a kid NOW. because i think they are already starting... i dont know if anybody has ever had one of these urges. i know its dumb to want one right now. but if you have ever had one of these urges or something tell me what i can do. i dont it to be a in the moment dicision.. i want to be ready and be planned. what do i do?? thank you so much. and i really hope you dont think im dumb for asking this
The Answer
You control yourself, like an adult.
We all have urges we shouldn't act on. I'm in a happy commited relationship, but that doesn't keep me from having the urge to flirt with cute people I know. I also have the urge to buy stupidly expensive clothes sometimes, or to run up my credit card bill. Sometimes I have the urge to punch a wall in anger.
None of those things do I actually do.
If I had the urge to become pregnant, I wouldn't also NOT do that.
Unless you are mentally ill, you are reponsible for your own choices AND in control of them.
So, use the birth control and plan your life so that children are a possibilty in the future. Remind yourself an urge is just an urge, and don't give it more power by worrying about all the time. Then just choose to do the smart thing.
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The Question
16, F
My best friend Maria and Juan broke up about a month ago. They went out for about a month, but were very, very close. They had sex, everything.
Maria and I have another friend, Carina.
Well, Juan, Carina, and I are all in this play. Today I find out Juan and Carina like each other. Carina needs my advice because she knows its wrong.
So this is two questions:
1) is it wrong for me not to be telling Maria what is going on?
2) what is the best thing for Carina to do?
She is sure she likes him, he makes her happy, she can see them being together for a long time.
The Answer
The best thing for Carina to tell Maria.
It's not wrong for her to like Juan. You can't help your feelings for people. The only that is wrong is lying and being dishonest about it. She needs to tell Maria what has been, and is, going on.
You don't have to tell Maria anything. Carina does.
The truth is, that whole idea that you shouldn't date friends exes is very, very 'high school'. In the adult world, not only does it happen, it happens a lot (how else do you met new people but through your friends? Of course some of those new people are going to be love interests...) Often, when these things happen amoung adults, people are mature and accept them, although they can be occassionally uncomfortable and painful. You grow, you move on and you respect the feelings of others and don't selfishly focus on your own 'ownership' of an ex.
Carina isn't doing anything 'wrong', but if she wants to try to maintain her friendship with Maria she needs to be honest and up front about the things that might hurt Maria.
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The Question
ok, today my bfs bro talked crap about me, I told my bf and he told me not to take things so personal. Well, his bro THEN said that he hated me, and he would hurt me. my bf talked to him, but then his bro said he was joking. DO you think he was, and I even have a witness to prove I'M right. SO what do I do? Cause I don't think my bf of over a year belives me.
The Answer
If your boyfriend says he believes his brother was joking, accept that, at least for now.
If your boyfriend doesn't believe his brother made the threat, present your witness and explain that although you don't want to cause trouble with his brother, it's very important to you that he believes in you.
Other then that, stay away from the brother and don't speak to him at all. Don't blow it out of purportion just yet. You two have managed to get along well enough for the last year, so sit tight and see if things can go back to normal on thier own.
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The Question
16-f
dating for about 8 months
ok well my boyfriend told me awhile back he would love to lay in the grass and look at the stars. I was having a hard time figuring out what to get him for his b-day that is comming up in about a month and then i thought maybe i should buy him a star. He doesnt have some weird fascination about stars or look at them often but i thought maybe after giving him that i could tell him some night once it gets warm out we can lay out in the yard and find his star.
does this sound like something that could work or be cute or something or should i save it for our 1 year anniversery and find something else for his b-day??
would you like this if you got it?
The Answer
Although cute and deeply rommantic... probably best if you realize that most of the stars you can still register aren't visable with the naked eye from earth...
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The Question
okay so this guy i've been talking to since like the beggining of february has a girlfriend.
and they've been dating for like 2 years and last night i sent him a picture.
it wasn't revealing or anything but it was kinda..
ya okay so then he kept trying to get me to send him another and i can't.
i can't just be the one to break up a couple of 2 years and i dont really care if he ever talks to me again but what should i do if he asks me again??
b/c the last time i said no and reminded him he has a girlfriend..but idk.
thank you
The Answer
Do the exact same thing you did last time: Tell him to go talk to to his girlfriend.
Remember, other people can't 'break up' a couple that doesn't want to break up, but you can make a mess of things and loose some self respect if you carry on with a guy who is taken.
Don't feel too guilty! Yes, sending him a picture was a mistake, but lots of girls have this wonderful way of believing something is all thier fault when it is in fact HIS. Who the hell is he to be going around chatting girls up online and asking for intimate pictures of them behind his girlfriends back? That is pretty scummy behavoir. Let him know that you know how wrong it is, and that you expect him to stop it.
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The Question
Ok I'm a 15 year old guy, ever since i was 8 I have always like girls,I asked my dad to let me see naked girls, I even whent on the internet once to see em because I was so curious.. I have in fact said that girls in my class were hott and have told them that... untill recently when I wasn't getting aroused by any girl... I looked at porn seeing if it may help I sat there and thought of naked women it didn't work.... I am postive I'm straight and I have never even thought I was gay, I never have liked men , I have friends come over all the time we don't do anything odd we usually hang out and play video games. Lately it has freaked me out the fact that I'm not being aroused by women.
What does this mean?
Also does stressing out over something like this make me gay?
The Answer
No, stressing out over something like this makes you a teenager and a bit of a homophobe, but not gay.
Gay men like other men. You don't so you can't be gay. If you start wanting to have sex with other guys... then you are gay.
Seriously, you need to not worry about this quite so much. Society tells teenage guys that they should be sexy-obsessed and horny every moment of the day and that simply isn't true.
Different people have different sex drives and values. For some people, sex is very important in thier lives and it's a regular urge, for other the urge is much less. Not being all the obsessed with sex could be perfectly normal for you.
Stressing out about this will only make sex an even more difficult thing for you to think about. Best to just accept this as the way you are, until something gets you going. Let it occur naturally.
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The Question
well there this guy well he has a girlfriend and
we sort met on the internet through one of my friends.it all went well until me and him got serious we told each other i love you and everything and one thing i so regret is sendin him pics of my chest . well i kept asking him to break up with his girlfriend and he kept sayin he would soon. but all of a sudden one day he stopped talkin to me.(we live close to each other)anyways i kept texting and callin him because i didn't know what was going on .i was so mad and sad since his gf knew nothing about what we had done and i felt bad i told her everything and whenever i texted him he just told me to leave him alone that he didn't want to talk to me.and im really heart broken and sad over this i mean i know i should get over it but i can't its been since last october since me and him stopped talkin i tried not tryin to text him but nomatter what i do i want to resolve things with him so bad and he just refuses to talk to me .and my best friend rachel started terxtin him and i told her to ask him if he would talk to me and he said he couldn't handle me.so any advice and would any guy please help me understand why he won't forgive me because its like breakin my heart not bein able to talk to him. oh and fyi im 15 he's 19 and so is his gf and if anyone says well you shouldn't have done anything with him because of your age i already know because my parents tols me not to talk to him anymore but i did anyway so any advice will help thankies .oh and sorry for how long it is .
and also im not into him like that anymore im just dyin to be friends with him again but he wont give me a chance.
The Answer
Darling, you were never friends with this guy to begin with.
He was only using you. He was using you behind his girlfriends back. If it wasn't obvious enough: now that he has no more use for you, he doesn't want to talk to you at all. (Hopefully he made this choice out of a shame, and the realization he should never have behaved that way with you in the first place.)
Things with him ARE resolved. You are no longer speaking to him and that is the best thing for everyone.
Don't try to be friends with everybody, certainly not stupid teenage boys who cheat and use you for thier own amussment and then ditch you.
Stop being sad for goodness sake! Have a spine and be angry with him for treating you and his girlfriend so shabbily!
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The Question
so. i really like this boy and i know he likes me too but ill be 15 tomorrow and he'll be 18 this tuesday. we really like eachother but my mom says that hes too old for me.
i think love has no specific age.
how do i convince her that i really like this boy and tell her nicely that she cant standin the way of my love life?
The Answer
Love might not know a specific age, but your mother does, and she can most certainly stand in the way of your love life. Moms can be very good at that actually.
Ask if you can invite him over for dinner so she can met with him. If you can prove that you are both going to be mature and respectful of parental rules, she might be willing to lossen those rules.
You are fifteen darling, you don't nicely tell your mother very much, you nicely ask, and prove yourself worthy of what you ask for.
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The Question
In police lineups, who are the other [people]... the ones who aren't the accused criminal?
The Answer
Police line ups, at least in my part of the world, are no longer done in person. They are done by showing someone a series of five to seven photographs.
By and large, those photographs come from the files the police keep on people who have committed a variety of crimes. A line-up is typically used to test the witnesses reliability and memory, not the actually pick out the criminal. The police already know who they expect to accuse of the crime, they are simply looking for the witness to agree.
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The Question
For those of you with stubborn girlfriends, this goes out to you.
Ok, so I have an incredibly high sex drive. If I have enough energy, sex 3-4 times daily for 20+ minutes is what I'm good for.
Now, my girlfriend's drive matches mine, but unfortunately her vagina just can't keep up. After 15 minutes of sex, she begins to get slightly raw and even has some inflammation of the lower lips. If we have sex 3 times in a day, its possible she won't be able to have sex at all the next day or two until she heals. Also, the anticipation of pain during sex very much decreases her sex drive.
It wasnt always like this. But, not to put too fine a point on it, she doesnt get or stay as wet as she used to. I think that this is probably a large amount of the problem. Not enough lube means she has alot more friction, etc etc.
She also hates lube. Refuses to allow me to bring astroglide anywhere near her.
So, I'm in a bind. We both want to have more sex, and its just not working out very well.
First question, any ideas on talking to her about using lube, convincing her to at least try it?
Second question, any ideas on solving this problem without lube? I can spend time warming her up, but it doesnt make a ton of difference.
The Answer
There are a few things to consider right away:
Is she taking birth control? If so, less lubrication is a side effect of the pills, patch and UDIs, switching brands might correct the problem.
Condoms? Female’s natural lubrication is not meant to work with condoms. It simply wasn’t designed to be latex-friendly. Of course I’m not suggesting not using condoms, but again, trying different brands might make a difference and decrease friction. Contrary to logic, once the vagina becomes a bit raw, it actually produces less lubrication not more. It’s the body’s way of saying stop.
Some medications besides the pill can cause dryness, like anti-depressants and some anti-biotics…
Finally, infection and poor bacterial balances: If she isn’t up to date on her PAP smears, she ought to be. Almost all kinds of bacterial infections cause dryness. Having changed soap or shampoo recently might also have an effect.
If you’ve checked all those off the list of possibilities, you are pretty much left with lube.
To my knowledge, there is no other solution without adding some sort of lubrication from outside of her body. Pills, as I’m sure you can easily imagine, are useless scams. Hormone treatments are well, stupid, for a variety of medical reason we don’t really need to go into.
As crude as it sounds: copious amounts of saliva can be helpful, but when all is said and done, a decent lube is simply a god send.
My best advice to you is to approach her with this from a 'we are both concerned about this, let's talk' standpoint and try to understand what exactly her dislike of lubrication stems from.
A women with some bad experiences with cheep, or horrible-smelling/tasting, allergic reaction causing, impossible to clean up and or (god-forbid!) expired lube, has a damn good reason to be gun-shy. Physiological reasons, such as “I should be able to provide this for my partner” are a huge factor in some women rejecting lube as well. The idea of ‘needing’ lube is interpreted as a personal failure, which you can imagine, only increases the stress and difficulty.
It's a decent thing to recall that as a male, you get to wash the lube off and be pretty much done with it. A female gets to re-experience for the next day or so. Even Astroglide can have a morning-after quality some women dislike. Regardless of what lube, if anything, she gets comfortable with, the morning-after experience is something no degree of bathing can really solve. It’s a weird part of the experience women just have to suffering though. Yay for biology and gravity!
So what can you do to convince her? I’m not sure. You seem reasonably intelligent and rational all around, so I won’t insult your intelligent by saying ‘talk to her’.
Hell, you can just show her this if you’d like, because this is what I once told, and now what I’d tell any female friend in her position:
I don’t know you or your body, but I have learned that lube is just like men. There is the good, the bad, and the never-bring-that-crap-near-me-every-again. But like a good man, a good lube is worth doing the hard work to find. You will kiss your share of toads, and you will experience some lousy sensations and absolutely bizarre scents on these journeys, but just as finding a good guy improves your life, finding a good lube can improve your sex life.
Go to a decent, female-friendly, sex store, with or without your partner and tell the slightly exocentric and extroverted person working there what your problems with lube are, and try out three lubes they suggest. Just like you owe it to yourself to kiss a few frogs in search of the prince; you owe it to your relationship to give a rational solution to a mutual problem a fair try.
If you still hate it after three experiments, at least you can say to your partner, and to yourself, that you took the problem seriously, you gave it a serious shot, and you are now are rationally convinced of your position on the mater and not stubbornly opposed. Anything less then a fair try at a reasonable solution is only going to breed resentment.
Even if the experiments are nothing but miserable, when you look at it as either ‘some unpleasant experiments with lube’ or ‘resentful, uncompromising position taken with someone and something important to me’, it because pretty clear that giving it a shot is probably for the best.
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The Question
So I was thinking about getting birth control..no im not sexually active im deff. a virgin! But i wanted to get it for my boobs. Im literally not even an A and im 16..its kinda embarresing. I want to be atleast a 36-A or something you know attractive and normal. Im really skinny and tall. But i can eat like anything I just cant get boobs =/ it sucks. I want them so bad or atleast a little bigger ones. Should i take the pill? Will it make them bigger? If not then what should I do? I feel like i should offer more to my boyfriend!! Please help me.
The Answer
Birth control doesn't make your boobs grow.
For a very few women, it will make your breasts swell just a little bit, not even a half of a cup size, and the swelling will likely fade.
I'm afriad there truly is no natural way to increase your breast size besides gaining wieght or getting pregnant.
Don't worry about your boyfriend. Believe it or not, not all guys are obssessed with girls with DDs. If you are worried on his account: Don't be.
If any guy, even him, ever puts you down because your breasts aren't big enough, slap them clear across the face and inform them that thier brains aren't big enough for you. But remember: Just because a guy might like, say, redheads, or DDs or tatoos, and you don't have those things, doesn't mean he isn't still attracted too you. My boyfriend isn't Brad Pitt, but I'm still thrilled with what he 'offers' me.
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The Question
okay so me and this guy have been fooling around off and on for like 3 years now, he used to fool around woth everyone but lately he hasn't been fooling around with as many girls, i guess he's trying to be more faithfull to his "girlfrind"(please don't paint me as a bad guy... he always says that they're broken up and they haven't gone out all year, but some of her friends say that they're going out...) anyway, whenever we do anything he ignores me the next day even though we're friends and then the next day it's completely different he acts like he only wants to be around me... i think he's just trying to play the field and he doesn't like me... can anyone give me any advice on wether i should keep this thing up or just give up on the jerk?
The Answer
If you are looking for a relationship, give up.
He has basically told you he isn't interested, or capable of anything serious. He doesn't take you, or his maybe-current-girlfriend, very seriously at all.
A guy who is really into you one day, and doesn't give a shit the next, will never be good boyfriend material. If you are enjoying you casual flings with him, go ahead and keep it up. If you are looking for more, give up now. He doesn't have any more to offer.
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The Question
How do you know if a guy is a player? You see my crush told me like 4 weeks ago that he had a girlfriend (came up in a casual conversation) and now he like looks me in the eye and he was touching his leg with mine today and he kept moving his torso toward me, and calling me blonde teasingly...but i asked what someone thought on this sight, and they said he sounds like a player, but i disagree, then i started thinking more and more (like i did throughout the day saying "what could he want with me? he is a senior and i am a freshman!) how could i tell??
thank you...
The Answer
You trust your gut, and you make mistakes.
There is no sure why to spot a 'player'. There are a few clues, and if he is willing to screw around on his current girlfriend, that is a big one! Also watch for a guy who is a hot and cold: really into you one day, and ignoring you the next.
In this particular case though, I have to agree with the person you asked: he does sound like a player. This is why: He told you had a girlfriend AND THEN seriously increased his flirting with you. This is the message someone sends with that behavior: "See, I'm taken, but I can make you want me, and I will make you want me."
Would you want a guy you were dating going out of his way to make other girls interested? Probably not. That is the behavior of a player.
Watch out for this guy. Anyone who tells you they are taken and then flirts like crazy with you, and basically asking you to help them cheat.
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The Question
I've had sex so many times with my boyfriend. So it's not one of the first time things. It didn't hurt when I first had sex either.. so I'm wondering why it hurts a bit now.
I like it rough, I'm always relaxed.. but after 40 mins or an hour, it starts to hurt? Like a stabbing sensation. It's not like we stay in the same position.
Is there something wrong with me? It's been like 7 months since we first had sex.. Does it have to do anything with his size er what?
The Answer
I don't think there is anything wrong with you.
As romantic and sexy as sexual marathons sound, our bodies were built for a "WAM, BAM, lets make a baby!" not for sensual, hour-long escapades. Human beings might enjoy that, but we weren't designed with it in mind.
Size might be a factor, but it probably just has to do with too much friction (rough sex is fun, with lube, lots of it, reapplied liberally and several times as it starts to fade away) and with pressure. There are other things in that part of your body, your bladder for instance, that do not take kindly to being roughed up.
Stop having vaginal sex when it becomes uncomfortable. When sex is no longer fun, it's time to stop and do something else, or at very least take a water and lube break.
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The Question
okay i've been having a problem and i need some feedback hopefully positive?
i've been having sex with my boyfriend [protected] with the exceptions of about 3 times, but anyways, i've been having a burning feeling when i pee that kills and an urge when nothing comes out. plus my vagina has an odorey discharge
and an itchyness =/ both me and my boyfriends were virgins, and i've gotten tested for a urinary tract infection & they didnt find one, i just took monistat last night thinking its a yeast infection...help me what could it be i'm scared and cant tell my mom! and i dont wanna go to the gyno... advice?
The Answer
You could double check for a UTI babe, but other then that, you have exhuasted your opitions and it's time to see a gyno.
If you have a yeast infection, you might have left it to fester for too long now for an over-the-counter cure to work. They might have missed the UTI when they tested. You might have another kind of bacterial infection, or even a problem with your bladder or kidneys.
There are a whole host of things you could be suffering from, but the important thing to realize is that none of them are just going to go away on thier own. In fact, everything I mentioned above will only get worse without treatment, which means you need to see a doctor, perferably one speicializing in that region of the body.
At the very least, go to a walk-in clinic. Tell your mother about the burning when you urinate but be honest with your doctor about every thing. They can't tell anyone, but they also can't cure you without your honesty.
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The Question
should I be upset if all my boyfriend (of over one year) is "supposidly" getting me a postar for valentines day? I mean, I feel it's a taky gift. Or am I being spoiled. Cause I mean even my friends who havent beeen with their bfs that long are getting more than a POSTER. COme on people. Flowes say I'm sorry. Choclates say I love you, and a poster says i'm an imature little boy who needs to grow up. SO any comments?
The Answer
It's easy to hate a person for not showing you love the way you want them to show you love.
A mature person loves thier partner no matter what way that partner shows love, even if that way kind of sucks.
Besides, at the time of you writing this you didn't even know for sure. Give the guy a damn break. No reason to hate on him before he's even made the mistake yet.
So comments: You grow up, be gracious and thank him. Next time thier is a gift-giving occassion, prep him propperly for the kind of gift you most like to recieve. Only then while you know if he is actually insenstive to you, or he if he is just a bit clueless.
It is entirely up to you whether you turn valintines day into a bitch fest or not. Be gracious, but honest with him about what gifts you would most like to recieve. If he screws up next time, then you can unleash your inner bitch on him, but this time, cut the poor boy some slack.
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The Question
ok i have been working this job for a year but i was not making enough money to just work there so i got another job...my boss was cool about it but i needed off 2 days to train but then i found out i needed another day off so i did not want to ask off for that job another day so i asked off to help my sister when i was really training...Well i got off and i went to train well my boss called my other job asking if i was there and when they said yes he fired me... i was wondering if you think it is right that he called my other job? I mean i gave him a reason that should be good enough its my personal life.
The Answer
It would have been a good enough reason in your personal life, if it had been true.
But it was a lie, so no, it wasn't good enough.
Lying to an employer, about anything, can always get you fired.
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The Question
I know this is going to be really dumb, but what does it mean like when a girl/ guy (idk which it is) but what does it mean when they say when a girl/guy gets off???? i heard some kids at my school say it and i am just trying to figure out what it is. Thanks
The Answer
"Gets off" tends to mean orgasm.
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The Question
16/f. 15/m. my first boyfriend's getting to be REALLY kinky...and it's okay, to some extent. but i've just had enough.
i have a kind of ..a fear of male genitalia..its not a fear..more like a disgust [because of events that have happened previously..to me ..when i was young] and..my bf (lets call him A)
well, A showed me his penis. and i wasn't exactly turned on or anything. we're much too young. and whenever i reject looking at it, or touching it or anything, he gets PISSED at me. and he goes...so you have peniphobia now? WTF?
he ALWAYS finds something wrong with the way i act-how i'm disgusted by certain crude..sexual acts - IN PUBLIC.. WHO touches themselves in public? Please tell me..? Am I insane or -what..?
He takes pictures of his penis and gets upset when I refuse to see it. He doesn't respect my irrational fear...no matter how stupid it is.
Worst of all, he forces some acts on me...he grabs me by the crotch and forcefully grabs my boobs. I liked the making out stage...But it's just getting too retarded now. He's way too horny. And I tell him I love him..because I do. But I can't be with him anymore. I feel like he only uses me for my body. That's all he wants.
Can somebody PLEASE tell me ..whether or not this relationship could be worth saving? Or..?
There's also no intellectual attraction - We have nothing to talk about. It's all physical. And I don't feel like I can tell him anything.
I have no experience with boyfriends prior to this one. So I don't know what to do. Any help would be GREATLYYY appreciated.
The Answer
Dump him.
At best he is immature and a poor match for you.
At worse he is a disrespectful and abusive little shit.
Let’s assume the best eh? And that he is too young to realize why his bullying, sexualized behavior is completely unacceptable and frankly harassment. At this point, when there is basically NO attraction left ('cause lets face it: physically his abusiveness isn't doing it for you much anymore either) the best way you can send him a clear message of "You are behaving like a jerk." is to just fucking tell him "You are behaving like a jerk and I have come to prefer the company of people who aren't jerks. Goodbye."
There is nothing here worth saving hun. He makes you uncomfortable, he ‘disgusts’ you, you don’t trust him or value his friendship and he bullies and insults you. There is no relationship happening. All you have here is two people who make out sometimes.
Dump him, tell him to go experiment with other people and to keep his selfish little boy hands off of you.
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The Question
I've asked my mom about seeing one... I don't think she took me seriously and it's really hard for me to ask her about that (or about anything) so I want to know what others think first.
I used to be so optimistic, and hardly anything could get in the way of my happiness. I enjoyed every aspect of my life and accepted mistakes as ways to learn, and thought everything happened for a reason.
Recently, somehow I've changed. Sometimes I feel numb, like I just can't feel any type of emotion. My friends will laugh and I can hardly get myself to smile. Other times I'm just not happy. Sometimes I know why, but other times I will feel sad and not know why I feel that way. It's taking a toll on my family, friends, and boyfriend. Sometimes when I "talk" to them, I can hardly get myself to speak. It takes a lot of effort for me to get myself to answer questions or respond to them.
I definitely have some degree of OCD. I haven't been diagnosed, but it would surprise me if I didn't have it. I have routines I feel I have to do and if I don't my luck will turn against me, everything has to be in perfect order. My mom says that is giving me an anxiety problem, which makes sense. So many times, I might look alright on the outside but in my mind I am freaking out, about something as small as turning in a paper to my coach a day late.
I feel like at any given moment I would be able to break down and cry. I have one friend who I know is there for me, and who means a lot to me. I am not close with any family members, and my boyfriend is very good to me, but he isn't the best with advice. I don't know who to turn to.
Am I okay? I don't want to feel like this all the time anymore. I want to know what's wrong with me and what I can do. Please help me?
The Answer
I was thirteen when I first told my mom I thought I needed to 'see someone'. She also didn't take me seriously. My mom is a great woman, pretty easy to talk too and I love her, but she couldn't understand at that point, and I didn't know how to make her understand.
It's hard for parents to understand you are hurting, especially when they are used to your 'habits' and when you are probably trying to protect her from just how serious things are getting.
Try talking to another adult if talking to your mom is tough. A school guidance counselor or a trusted teacher is a good bet, so is an aunt or uncle. You will have to talk to your mom about it again, but another adult will help you practice and get your thoughts in a better order when you speak to your mom.
Don't try and diagnose yourself though. It doesn't matter right now if you have OCD. Doesn't matter AT ALL. What matters right now is that you are hurting and you need to find someone who can help you figure out how to stop the hurt. It isn't good therapy to try and diagnose and fix your own problems. It only makes the doctor’s job harder.
So, try to take this up with another adult in your life. Then take it up with your mom again when you have your thoughts in order. Perhaps write her a letter. What you have here in this question is a good start.
You might not end up in a psychiatrists office, a counselor or a therapist might be of greater help to you (and less expensive).
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