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best friend's ex and other best friend
16, F
My best friend Maria and Juan broke up about a month ago. They went out for about a month, but were very, very close. They had sex, everything.
Maria and I have another friend, Carina.
Well, Juan, Carina, and I are all in this play. Today I find out Juan and Carina like each other. Carina needs my advice because she knows its wrong.
So this is two questions:
1) is it wrong for me not to be telling Maria what is going on?
2) what is the best thing for Carina to do?
She is sure she likes him, he makes her happy, she can see them being together for a long time.
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If Carina asked you not to tell Maria what is going on, than you are doing nothing wrong. It's none of her business anyways, Carina is obviouly telling you this in confidence and she would have said this all for Maria to hear, but she didn't, so keeping this from Maria is nothing to worry about.
On the other hand, Carina needs to be herself. if she likes Juan and Juan likes her, and he truly makes her happy, than she should be able to date him. She doesnt need Maria's or anyone elses permission, if she likes him, than tell her to go for it. Juan belongs to no one, he is not Maria's property, Carina has a right to date whomever she pleases.
Good luckk
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The best thing for Carina to tell Maria.
It's not wrong for her to like Juan. You can't help your feelings for people. The only that is wrong is lying and being dishonest about it. She needs to tell Maria what has been, and is, going on.
You don't have to tell Maria anything. Carina does.
The truth is, that whole idea that you shouldn't date friends exes is very, very 'high school'. In the adult world, not only does it happen, it happens a lot (how else do you met new people but through your friends? Of course some of those new people are going to be love interests...) Often, when these things happen amoung adults, people are mature and accept them, although they can be occassionally uncomfortable and painful. You grow, you move on and you respect the feelings of others and don't selfishly focus on your own 'ownership' of an ex.
Carina isn't doing anything 'wrong', but if she wants to try to maintain her friendship with Maria she needs to be honest and up front about the things that might hurt Maria.
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