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Should I see a psychiatrist?
I've asked my mom about seeing one... I don't think she took me seriously and it's really hard for me to ask her about that (or about anything) so I want to know what others think first.
I used to be so optimistic, and hardly anything could get in the way of my happiness. I enjoyed every aspect of my life and accepted mistakes as ways to learn, and thought everything happened for a reason.
Recently, somehow I've changed. Sometimes I feel numb, like I just can't feel any type of emotion. My friends will laugh and I can hardly get myself to smile. Other times I'm just not happy. Sometimes I know why, but other times I will feel sad and not know why I feel that way. It's taking a toll on my family, friends, and boyfriend. Sometimes when I "talk" to them, I can hardly get myself to speak. It takes a lot of effort for me to get myself to answer questions or respond to them.
I definitely have some degree of OCD. I haven't been diagnosed, but it would surprise me if I didn't have it. I have routines I feel I have to do and if I don't my luck will turn against me, everything has to be in perfect order. My mom says that is giving me an anxiety problem, which makes sense. So many times, I might look alright on the outside but in my mind I am freaking out, about something as small as turning in a paper to my coach a day late.
I feel like at any given moment I would be able to break down and cry. I have one friend who I know is there for me, and who means a lot to me. I am not close with any family members, and my boyfriend is very good to me, but he isn't the best with advice. I don't know who to turn to.
Am I okay? I don't want to feel like this all the time anymore. I want to know what's wrong with me and what I can do. Please help me?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
I was thirteen when I first told my mom I thought I needed to 'see someone'. She also didn't take me seriously. My mom is a great woman, pretty easy to talk too and I love her, but she couldn't understand at that point, and I didn't know how to make her understand.
It's hard for parents to understand you are hurting, especially when they are used to your 'habits' and when you are probably trying to protect her from just how serious things are getting.
Try talking to another adult if talking to your mom is tough. A school guidance counselor or a trusted teacher is a good bet, so is an aunt or uncle. You will have to talk to your mom about it again, but another adult will help you practice and get your thoughts in a better order when you speak to your mom.
Don't try and diagnose yourself though. It doesn't matter right now if you have OCD. Doesn't matter AT ALL. What matters right now is that you are hurting and you need to find someone who can help you figure out how to stop the hurt. It isn't good therapy to try and diagnose and fix your own problems. It only makes the doctor’s job harder.
So, try to take this up with another adult in your life. Then take it up with your mom again when you have your thoughts in order. Perhaps write her a letter. What you have here in this question is a good start.
You might not end up in a psychiatrists office, a counselor or a therapist might be of greater help to you (and less expensive).
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do you atten church? you should go to a calvary chapel near you. Jesus can fill the emptiness you feel insded. Jesus has a free gift for you. He died on the cross for your sins so you could go to heaven. He then three days later came back to life. All you have to do is accept him into your heart and live for him. read john 3:16 and john 14:6 = )
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If you have to ask if you should or not, you probably should. Just after reading what you've posted here, I'd be seeing one because no one here is going to be able to give you medicine. Good advice perhaps but, not medicine and Obsession Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is treatable.
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This is most likely some form of depression, possibly SAD (seasonal affective disorder). Unfortunately, it is impossible for one of us to diagnose you or prescribe medication from here. You should see psychiatrist. It is good that you recognize the problem; that's the first step to recovery. There are many medications that you can take for depression. Talking to your mom may be the hard part, but just tell her what you told us, and she should take you seriously.
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