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VERY kinky boyfriend.
16/f. 15/m. my first boyfriend's getting to be REALLY kinky...and it's okay, to some extent. but i've just had enough.
i have a kind of ..a fear of male genitalia..its not a fear..more like a disgust [because of events that have happened previously..to me ..when i was young] and..my bf (lets call him A)
well, A showed me his penis. and i wasn't exactly turned on or anything. we're much too young. and whenever i reject looking at it, or touching it or anything, he gets PISSED at me. and he goes...so you have peniphobia now? WTF?
he ALWAYS finds something wrong with the way i act-how i'm disgusted by certain crude..sexual acts - IN PUBLIC.. WHO touches themselves in public? Please tell me..? Am I insane or -what..?
He takes pictures of his penis and gets upset when I refuse to see it. He doesn't respect my irrational fear...no matter how stupid it is.
Worst of all, he forces some acts on me...he grabs me by the crotch and forcefully grabs my boobs. I liked the making out stage...But it's just getting too retarded now. He's way too horny. And I tell him I love him..because I do. But I can't be with him anymore. I feel like he only uses me for my body. That's all he wants.
Can somebody PLEASE tell me ..whether or not this relationship could be worth saving? Or..?
There's also no intellectual attraction - We have nothing to talk about. It's all physical. And I don't feel like I can tell him anything.
I have no experience with boyfriends prior to this one. So I don't know what to do. Any help would be GREATLYYY appreciated.
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If the relationship is all physical then i think you should break up with him. You can give him one last warning if he loves you then he should respect your fear. And that grabbing at you you shouldn't let that happen let him know that thats not acceptable. Your only 16 even if you didn't have that disgust or fear you shouldn't feel the need to do what he is asking you to do. Good luck and you shouldn't feel like you can't tell him something you can tell him anything.
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So, you're dating a relatively dumb guy who constantly pursues sex, makes you uncomfortable, passes limits left and right with your personal space, who you feel used by.
Walk. Not tomorrow, not next week, now. He is not worth it.
At 15 you're stating that theres no intellectual attraction. On the one hand, the fact that you can evaluate a relationship like that at 15 is somewhat impressive. On the other hand, the fact that you can say that and are still with the guy makes me a little sad.
For the record, his behavior is odd. Taking pictures of his penis and showing them to you is odd.
Now, I wont speak to "crude sexual acts in public" as I happen to not have a problem with most things sexual when both parties are enjoying themselves. Live and let live and enjoy is my personal philosophy. But a boyfriend who is openly sexual not because you have that bond but because he doesn't know how to restrain himself?
Heres what you do.
You tell him. "Your behavior has been unacceptable, you want sexual acts without caring what I want or am ready for, and we really have nothing else in common. Its over"
Not "I think its over" or "I dont want to be with you" or anything he can argue with. Simply, "Its over" Period.
Now, speaking to your irrational fear. Thats something you will have to work on. I mean, sex organs aren't exactly pretty, but they arent something to be afraid of.
I'll be frank. At 15 you express yourself very clearly and are obviously intelligent. You shouldn't be dating someone whom you don't have an intellectual attraction to. He is beneath you. I know you don't have prior experience to go off of, but this will help you set a limit and realize that you have certain standards in regards to guys you date, and stupid assholes who use words like "peniphobia" in regards to exposing themselves inappropriately aren't worth your time.
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mmkay.
i think you should leave his sorry ass.
i mean. if he only loves you for your body. then he doesn't care about you as much as you care about him.
i mean, if he really cared. he'd accept your fear, and wait until you were ready. rather than try to force you do things. i think you deserve better. guys can be better than that. trust me. the guy im going out with cares alot. and i was cutting. and he did everything he could to get me to stop. i mean, he cares. i think you should just stay friends with some people, and see where that leads. but i think you should just leave the guy. he doesn't deserve you if he only wants you sexually..
hope i helped
if you need more help
and me on here
or on aim
aim screen name: randomconfusionx
xoxo
<33 destiny. =]
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this guy is a perve and if he dosnt respect your not wanting to be intimate with him then he dosnt deserve you. He needs to show you more respect ! The girl that he should find for himself would be a slut. Honey, give him a dollar and tell him to go find himself a whore around the corner, that will be the best valentines day presant for yourself. Trust me there is a way better man out there for you.
let me know how it all works out
lots of love,lizzie
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Dump him.
At best he is immature and a poor match for you.
At worse he is a disrespectful and abusive little shit.
Let’s assume the best eh? And that he is too young to realize why his bullying, sexualized behavior is completely unacceptable and frankly harassment. At this point, when there is basically NO attraction left ('cause lets face it: physically his abusiveness isn't doing it for you much anymore either) the best way you can send him a clear message of "You are behaving like a jerk." is to just fucking tell him "You are behaving like a jerk and I have come to prefer the company of people who aren't jerks. Goodbye."
There is nothing here worth saving hun. He makes you uncomfortable, he ‘disgusts’ you, you don’t trust him or value his friendship and he bullies and insults you. There is no relationship happening. All you have here is two people who make out sometimes.
Dump him, tell him to go experiment with other people and to keep his selfish little boy hands off of you.
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well if "A" really cared about you (not saying he doesnt) then he wouldn't be so mean to you about it. he would try and help you, be more undestanding, tell him how you really feel about it, and tell him you don't like it when he sexually does stuff to you. Well with the looks of is as hard as it is, it probabely isn't goin to work, becaus it sounds like your basing your relationship on sexual appeal. You need a boyfriend who will love you as your are inside and out. Who will treat you with respect. best of luck
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honestly, you two should sit down and have a chat with one another. tell him how you feel, and that he needs to take that into consideration, because, after all, he is a reflection on you too. if he doesnt abide, then you have to decide wether or not you really want to stay in the relationship. It sounds to me like he does just want you for your body, and is trying to take control. maybe you should tell him that you have a purity ring or something, and see what he does. tell him you are not ready, just as a test. he should not push you into anything...but just remember, i am making an opinion, and you know him way better than i do. :-] In the end it really all comes back to you, and what you decide.
GoOd LuCk!!!
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Breaking it off with someone can be hard if you love them . If its in your heart that [ you ] know its right to end it , then do. Only you know how you feel or how upset you get. Because i use to be like you and just think that a boy's personal stuff was the most gross thing ever. Eventually I got over it , and learned to not get weirded out by it. If you dont feel comfortable , then you shouldnt let ANY0NE force it apon you , if he really loved you like you do him then he would understand where your coming from and respect that. Anyone could see that he is misusing your body. Maybe a good talk will be good , I use to think my boyfriend used me some what but it turned out he really didnt want me to think so he lets me givee the signs now , just follow your heart ,
i hope i really help ; let me know =)
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You sort of just answered it yourself. If your relationship is nothing but physical, and you aren't turned on by the physicality and don't enjoy it, why stay with him? There are plenty of other people who will love you and will be fun to talk to and be around.
Also, it sounds like you haven't told him about the things that happened when you were little. If you did, he might back off, but if he doesn't (or you already told him and he still acts like this) you definitely shouldn't try holding on to him. Find someone who cares about more than your body.
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Please dump him. NOW! He is just using you and doesnt respect you at all! What he is doing to you is terrible! Hes making you feel bad for standing up for yourself! You are worth sooo much more so get rid of the idiot and find a boy whos worth you! hope i helped :)
HiChick
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If I were you, I would end the relationship. It sounds like he just wants your body, to put it gently. If you don't have anything to talk about, what fun is that? A relationship should be fun, not based around sexual acts (especially if you don't find them fun and you don't want to do them)
xxtiffany
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