(Ask A Question.) (Feedback.) (Discussion Board.) (Make Razhie A Favourite.) (Advicenators.)
Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.
Favourite Collumnists.
(WittyUsernameHere.) (karenR.) (NinjaNeer.) (rainbowcherrie.) (DangerNerd.)
The Question
(Sorry, it's long. BUT I REALLY NEED HELP!)
Well I'm 17 & my girlfriend is 15. I am currently in college (I started school at an early age)in San Francisco & she's out in Anaheim. I have gotten into some trouble. Therefore, I can't leave school for 5 weeks. & I can't see my girlfriend. While I was out here, she found out things about me that I have never told her. She found out I have a kid, and that I have a criminal record. At first she was mad, but then she forgave me. Well that same week, I was told that if I behave, I can get out of the school in 2 1/2 weeks. I turned out I got into a fight the day after, and so now I'm back to 5 weeks. And my girlfriend got really mad. So mad, that she was about to break up with me. I told her, that I would make up all of the suffering she is going through. I've been with her for almost a month. But we've been best friends since May of last year. And when I was living in Anaheim, I always spent the night at her house. And I know that I am older than her, but we've been together at night. We haven't had sex. But what we have done together is: Dry sex, fingering, and I went down on her. Other than that, nothing else has happened. My parents, don't really like her. And her parents don't like me. All because we're from different backgrounds. She's mexican & I'm white with an Asian stepmom. Anyways, what I want some advice on is:
- What can I do to make up for what she's going through right now?
- How can I deal with her and my family?
- I'm almost turning 18 (in Decemember), is there any laws for being 18 & being with a 15 year old (16 in May)
- I'm ready to have sex with her. But I'm not sure, what she wants. She agreed to dry sex, fingering and me going down on her. And I really love her, and I want to be her first. What can I do.
Thanks in advance.
The Answer
1.) Stop being a lying scum bag who gets in trouble for dumb reasons. Count your lucky stars that you are with a girl who is either loving enough, or dumb enough to forgive you. You fucked up big time: Millions wouldn't have.
2.) Stop being a lying scum bag who gets into trouble for dumb reasons. They are either not as loving or dumb enough to forgive you for your past behavoir. I don't care what your race is, if my daughters boyfriend lied about having a child and a criminal record, he would no longer be her boyfriend. Period. Behave yourself and earn a bit of thier respect back.
4.)Although in many states it would be fine for a 15 year old and an 18 year old to have intercourse, considering your criminal record and the fact her parents already dislike you I would suggest waiting until May because they could certainly legally seperate you even if they weren't able to file formal charges. In thier shoes, I would be just waiting for you to make a mistake that means I could get you away from my daughter.
3.) Don't have sex with her until you ARE sure what she wants. If she isn't sure, that means NO. What do you do about it? You wait, like a decent person would. If she is game USE BRITH CONTROL and COMDOMS. Don't make her the second teenage mother you've left out there.
EDIT:
A bit of clarification: *Lying* about having a child, is pretty scummy. I honestly can't imagine forgiving someone for that, if only for the sake of a child you just denied! I don't care what the mother thinks of you. Nothing gives you the right, ever, to deny your child. Not even if you never see it.
And clearly you haven't stopped getting into trouble babe if you couldn't leave school because of 'trouble'!
I respect your desire to defend yourself, and I am completely open to idea that you have, or will, change for the better, but you need a serious wake-up call about the way the rest of the world percieves the facts you related here.
Do you really 'know it was wrong', if you don't think your behavoir was scummy? Don't just be sorry, be honest about the what the behavoir was: awful and low to lie about a child. Accept that you have to prove yourself to be different then your behavoir suggests. Say it like it is: My behavoir was the behavoir of a scum bag, but I'm not a scum bag, so I'm not going to act that way anymore.
Let people know you really 'get' how wrong you were, and they will be more willing to forgive.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
Ok well my sister's in elementary school, 7th grade. My cousin of the same age moved to that school last year and has done nothing bad but my sister's friends don't like her. They've been pretty open about it but we thought it was just minor things.
Recently, my sister has found out that they've been verbally bullying her behind her (my sister's) back.
My sister came in when they were just about to give this hate note to our cousin (with sentences contributed by everyone) but someone saw her come in and said "she's coming! give it later!" and they did, after school.
Now i am VERY serious about bullying. I told her to tell her teacher or tell the principle but she told me that she doesn't want to loose friends and be lonely for her graduation for next year and that they give out these "Problem Sheets" to people. She's also scared that the parents will come talk to her then. Is there anythign my sister can do that i haven't thought about?
I didn't try to even talk to my cousin about it, she has enough troubles already.
What can I do? I have the nerve to go to school and slap their faces but I was a very well posivtively known student there before, it wouldn't look good. Please help, this is serious!
The Answer
Why not talk to your cousin about it?
You don't have to become one more of her problems, and although your suggestion to your sister that she inform a teacher was the right one, there is no reason to pressure either her or your cousin to tell as though that will magically fix it all. Although telling an adult is important, as you sister pointed out, it's not a magic charm, it is still tough.
Why not approach your cousin as just a supportive older female. Say you saw something go on and you were worried about her and that you wanted to make sure she was doing okay. If anything truly horendous comes out (physical abuse or shaming, depression or sucidal thoughts or something like that) then you should tell your cousins parents.
You can't make young teens do the right thing, you can only tell them what the right thing is and listen to thier perspective. Leting your cousin dump some of her worries on to you, without pressuring her too much, might be the very kindest thing you can do right now.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
I need Advice im knocked up but i dont know who the father is. See Im in love with two guys, a love triangle you might say. Well the one ive been with for over 7 months and well the other guy i met at a party. My boyfriend is the type of person that everyone want/ everyone dont. the other one is kinda 2 faced...i mean on min. he is all lovey dovey and then his friends come and he just shoves me away. i really, really hope its my boyfriends (the one i have been with for 7 months). and to top it all of they r best friends...so what should i do?? i really hope u guys can help.
The Answer
Tell them both it's a possibility and wait for the baby to be born to do a paternity tests (they are relatively inexpensive and there are clinics that can help with the costs.)
Doing anything other then being honest with them both, would be unfair to your child AND make you a pretty shabby person.
You made choices to sleep with them, this is where ya ended up. Dealing with it responsibly and honestly is your only course of action.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
Ok so I do love my girlfriend, I know it will sound weird given the title of my question, but I do love her. She's my best friend and we've been together 15 months, I see her almost everyday and when I don't see her I miss her. We do loads together, we have dinner together almost every evening, go out socialising and have a really good time. However, since my 18th birthday I've found myself more and ore attracted to one of her friends. To be honest I've fancied her since before I even first met my girlfriend and recently we've been spending more time together, hanging out, going to pubs etc. and now we work together. I feel horrible for liking her the way I do. I have a massive thing against cheating in relationships and yet whenever I'm with her I never even think about my girlfriend. My girlfriend have had troubles in the past, she cheated on me and there's always been a worry she could do it again. I know she wouldn't and trust her, but I have an over active imagination. Anyway i'm really starting to like this other girl. She's cute (really hot), she's funny and we get on. She split up from her bf recently and she's talking about getting back with him which kinda pisses me off. Basically I don't know what to do. I love my gf but find that we're starting to grow a litte bit apart and i feel awful for liking another girl. anyone help Thanks.
The Answer
First off, you need to decide if staying with your girlfriend is what you want.
You know you shouldn't cheat.
You know you kinda want too.
So either you choose to stay in your relationship and NOT cheat, or you choose to end the relationship because you don't think you can NOT cheat and still be happy.
Everyone has crushes and lust, that is totally cool, but when you started talking in this question about your girlfriends past infidelities and the 'growing apart' it's pretty obvious what you are trying to do: You are starting to justify feeling more for her friend then just lust. You probably haven't even noticed it yet but ideas like 'we're just growing apart but I love her' and 'I feel horrible about it, but I can't stop' are at the very beginning stages of justifying cheating. The next stage starts to sound like 'I haven't done anything technically wrong, so I wont worry my wonderful girlfriend?'.
Call a spade a spade: If you want out of your relationship, get out, but don't start thinking that for some twisted reason in your own brain that you can have it all: your loved girlfriend AND a fling with her best friend. You don't get both and remain a decent guy.
Take some time away from the both of them and figure out what you want. If you don't, things will just 'happen' to you, and those things will be messy. If you want to stay in your relationship, that will probably mean cooling off the friendship and not hanging out with her outside of work until you have a better handle on your emotions.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
So I'm 18/f.
I'm in a long-distance relationship right now, with an amazing guy. He's coming to town for a week on the 14th and I can't wait to see him.
But my mom is being a huge hassle. For one, she's making him stay at a hotel on the other side of town (which is 60 bucks a night.) Plus, she read his blog on his myspace and made him add her as a friend on facebook just so she can "know what this kid's all about". I find myself repeatedly apologizing to him because of her invasion of our relationship (she's always asking me what he meant by blah blah blah or teasing me about what I'll leave him for a comment, etc.) It's getting so annoying. I know she means well, but I feel like I'm under constant supervision.
She's insisting on driving me to the airport to pick him up when he flies in, and she even refuses to wait in the car when I go in to find him. All I want is to say hello to him without her supervision, since I haven't seen him in person since December. How can I convince her to just back off?? Help! I'm desperate.
The Answer
Has she ever met this guy?
If she knows this boy, has met him and spoke to him, has had him over for dinner and met his parents and some of his friends... then I agree with you, she is being invasive.
However, if she doesn't know this guy, if she has spent less then a half-hour in his pressence, she is being a good mother (also a slightly annoying one, as all effective parents are).
Consider this a 'paying your dues' in order to EARN the privallage him recieving of an invitation in your parents home and of being trusted by your mother. The simple truth is, no decently intelligent parent is going to assume a guy is a great guy just because thier daughter tells them so. A responsible parent wants to make sure.
Her requirements of him staying in a hotel and even her request of being added to his facebook are perfectly reasonable if she DOESN'T KNOW HIM. It's not about her not trusting you, it's about her not trusting a stranger.
I will agree with you this far: It would nice if she would let you great him privately, but agian, if she doesn't know this guy, I can appericate why she doesn't want you alone with him until she has at least met him. It's also probably completely fair to say to her that although you understand why she wanted to be added to his facebook, you'd apperciate it she'd just read what she needs to read and not give you the third degree about it.
If she has met him then set some bounderies like "Mom, I want to met him alone. You can wait just outside the recieving area, but I think it's perfectly fine for us to have a moment togeather first." If she hasn't met him, just let her tag along and ignore her.
Remember: You might think like an adult, and be an almost-adult, but as long as you are a teen living in your parents house you are NOT actually an adult. Accept that, and work with your mother and her concerns, rather then agianst her. There is some shit you just have to take when you are a dependant. Pick your battles carefully, and you will win more of them.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
I fell in love with this guy who once told me he loved me too. The next thing I know he moved to his other parents house, not going college, and wasn't doing anything productive for his future. Its been three years since he said those words. He had a girlfriend when he said those words. He sent me a myspace message the other day and I don't know why he did it. I was doing just fine until he spoke to me again. I was just getting over him. It wasn't just love but it was great love. What do you think it means? Why is he sending me a message after three years?
The Answer
I can't tell you what is going through his head, but I can tell you what I would think about it if I were in your place: I wouldn't give a damn.
A 'great love' doesn't happen when someone is cheating on thier partner with you. A 'great love' doesn't walk away from you, or abondon you for three years. Love isn't something you just say, love is something you do. He didn't act love for you, he wasn't 'loving'.
You've grown and you've moved on, which is good for you. He might have done the same, but there is no rational reason for you to speak to him expecting anything more then catching up with an old friend. If you can't speak to him without dragging up old feelings and risking all the maturing and growth you've had over the last three years, I would suggest you don't speak to him at all.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
How can I get my brother to not pee on the toilet seat or at least put the toilet seat up and wash his hands? He is 12 almost 13. I've tried talking to him but he denies it.
The Answer
Tell your parents about it. Don't act like your taddling or complaining just say that although you've explained to him that this is gross and he should stop, but he isn't listening to you.
Your parents probably don't want him to grow up into an unsanitary slob, and a disgusting house guest so a few stern words from your Dad should do the trick.
Remember: Don't whine, just be honest. If you whine they are less likely to believe you. If you just tell them straight up and ask them to help teach him proper respect, they will likely get the picture.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
I'm 16/f and I am adopted.
Well before I was adopted, my mom had three other girls. And now two of them are living back in the house and I swear the youngest of the three is determined to be mommy's little girl again. Any chances of me looking bad she exploits it. Even when my great-grandmother died the youngest told my mom that I was faking my grief and I was sent back to school with a slap. My mom for some reason always listens to those three and I'm about to lose it. How do I "fight back"? It's just hard to stand there watching your mom be used and you get heat every day.
Thanks,
Annoyed
The Answer
Fighting will make it worse.
I have three sisters too and fighting ALWAYS makes it worse.
The response to your sisters unfair allegations is "No, that isn't right. That isn't what I'm feeling/doing/saying at all." The calmer you can stay while you explain yourself, the more difficult it will be for your mother, or your little sister to become hysterical and blow things out of purportion.
The child is going through a brat phrase, it you indulge it and fight with her (it's not just looking better then you she wants, she really wants the attention, good or bad) you'll be creating a permenant brat.
Remember your mom is probably hurting too, and trying to keep her 'new' girls happy in ther new home. Sympathize with that a little bit and maybe even talk with her about how she feels having her other girls back. If you mother sees that you are welcoming and sensitive to her needs and the other girls, she will be less likely to believe them when the bitch and moan.
You might even try saying something as simple as this to her "My sisters don't like me, what should I do?"
It's all about how you phrase the problem. Explain the hurt and the love you have for the people around you, and not the annoyance. You'll get further that way with your mother.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
I have a boyfriend. Me and him have this notebook that we pass back and forth and when anyone askes to see it we always so no. Well, my friends went off on me saying that i was a fake friend, and then she claims that she tells me everything when she tells me nothing at all, well, then she gets all of my other friends mad at me and keeps pretnding like she's innocent, but she's far from it. I have a really REALLY big secret that i could tell everyonethat could really hurt her. I don't Know if I am better off without her as a friend, or not, or if i should tell her big secret. Please Help Me!
The Answer
Don't tell her secret. That would make you a nasty bitch.
Since she IS a nasty bitch, don't be her friend anymore. Then she has no right to demand you tell her anything at all.
Life is unpleasant with one bitch around, but it's totally unbearable with two of them. Be the mature one and just let it all go.
(Also, passing a private notebook back and forth, although cute, is asking for trouble when other people can see you doing it. Keep it more private, don't talk about it and avoid these sort of problems.)
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
I'm a twin. End of story. My twin sister is funny, more confident than me and sometimes I think better looking (people say we look very different). I'm in what will be a long term relationship and already has lasted a year, and I'm very sure that my boyfriend loves the hell out of me, just like I love the hell out of him!
My problem? I've shared everything with my sister for my whole life. Friends, everything. Her and him, they're close friends. Shes always telling him her problems and they talk on a personal scale. They joke around and stuff and sometimes when hes talking to me about like, e.g. when theyve been alone together he's not entirely truthful. Oh, I don't mean anything like they DO anything together, I trust him in that sense. But I get so scared. I can do everything she can do, but I'm not as confident and although I equal her in things like drama I'm kind of the quieter one, who likes a good laugh and whose more academically skilled. I just get so worried that he likes me - and hes said that he used to fancy her - and we're twins! How can he not like her as much as he likes me? we look relatively the same (we're identical but don't like to look the same), she's brighter, more full of life. The other day, although they constantly abuse each other and flirt for fun, he rung her up expecially so he could walk with her to school. I somehow don't think he'd do the same for me. He says I'm the better twin, that I'm worth alot more than her, but he doesn't show it in his actions. What do you think he thinks? What would you feel in his position? I'm confused and probably shouldn't be, am probably overreacting. He can talk as much as he wants with other girls. By my twin? That feels so different. Its like they have a whole kind of different other relationship. Please help.
Thank you, Faye :) ^^
The Answer
They DO have a whole different kind of relationship, and that is okay.
It's also okay for your to feel a bit uncomfortable about it and explain that to him.
He shouldn't be misleading you about the time they spend togeather, that would make any women unhappy. Tell him as much and tell him to stop doing it.
Also explain to him that you'd get nervous if he showed any other girl the kind of preferincial treatment he shows your sister (like the private walks and deep emtional talks), but it's espcailly uncomfortable because she is your sister. It's not that you don't trust him. You can trust someone and still feel uncomfortable about something. I trust that my boyfriend is a good skier, but it scares me shitless some of the things he'll do on the slopes.
In the end, this is what he needs to understand: You feel uncomfortable with the friendship he has with your twin, and even though you aren't asking him to change it he does need to respect that the specail bond you have with your sister is the most important thing to preserve, even more important then his friendship with her. He also needs to know that lying to you about them being alone togeather makes the problem worse, not better.
You might try having the same conversation with your sister. It sounds like you are more worried about loosing your special bond with her then you are of her and your boyfriend doing something wrong. Maybe some special sister time will help you feel more secure in that relationship. Frankly, it's the most important one.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
How would a girl know if she were pregnant...like how long from the actual sex would it take to be able to tell?
The Answer
When a women begins to experience symptoms or suspect she is pregnant will vary depending on the woman. Some will just 'know' right away, others will be shocked.
Pregnancy tests are not very reliable until after a period has been missed.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
My boyfriend and I have been together for a year, and lately we've been going through a hard time. I thought I could trust him, but like I have issues with sites like myspace and facebook and stuff like that because of things that have happened in the past. But like he was having a hard time of having his friends know about me so I asked him if he would change his status on facebook to in a relationship. After a while of trying to convince him, he finally did. That was a few months ago though and the other day I looked on his facebook and it said single... I feel like he's maybe trying to tell other girls that he's free and stuff but I don't know. And like I also asked him if he wouldn't use it that much anymore and the last week I had a feeling he was using it still, and I asked him if he was using it and he lied straight to my face and said no. But then tonight I wanted to see if it was true and it wasn't... he was on it..and like I don't know. I'm in love with him, but like... I can't trust him online..
The Answer
You are completely right to be suspicious of someone you claims to be single on an internet networking site.
How much time he spends on the site it really his business, in my opinion. However, if he is lying to strangers about his relationship status, that is a big no no.
And lying to you, is even worse.
Tell him you expect him to advertise himself as he truly his: Taken. If he can't do that, he will find himself suddenly honest, and single.
A loyal guy has no reason to lie about his relationship status. Tell him as much, straight up.
Then, even if he does change his profile, you might want to consider how much you really want to be with someone who couldn't figure that out on thier own. Love is great, but no ammount of love makes your partner loyal.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
Well me and my girl have been togather for 4 years, theres been good times and bad... but last year cheated on me.. hardcore cheated and ever since i havnt been able to trust her. I conpletely understand that trust is a big factor in a relationship but its just not there. we've been togather since then broken up... got back... and no we are kinda normal. where the problem lies is i sumtime ( not always) cant look at her with out going back to BS memories...i sumtimes feel that i have PTSD but i cant be sure but i guess my question is how can be with soneone how Fucked me over so bad (like cold heartless i dont care anymore bad). i love her but if she does it again i know i cant be with her anymore. And if she has conciously has done it more than 5 time wat r the chance's she will do it again WHAT CAN I DO I'M JUST TIRED...
The Answer
Listen to your gut. You are stressed and worried beyond all reason: That is your gut telling you this is a bad situation that is getting worse. Dump her and move on.
It's good that you can realize that if she does it agian you can't be with her, but you need to realize that you are not able to be with her right now either: This just isn't working for you.
You can't be with someone you can't trust. That doesn't mean she doesn't deserve a second (sixth?) chance, maybe she does! But you CAN'T give it to her, and that is fine, but you need to be honest with yourself about it.
You are not someone who is married with three kids so there is no compelling reason for you to drag yourself through the mud to make this work when it clearly isn't working.
Tell her the truth: You can't get past the betrayal and it looks like you never will, so you will have to go seperate ways.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
I understand that if you are a boy and you are attracted to girls or vice versa, you are heterosexual. I understand that if you are a boy and you are attracted to boys, or if you are a girl and you sre attracted to girls you are condisered homosexual.
But what are you considered if you don't like either?
The Answer
If you are not interested in sex, and see yourself as having no sexuality you are considered asexual.
Asexuality is a sexual orientation describing individuals who do not experience sexual attraction. It is just as valid a lable as homosexuality or bisexuality...
Sex has different levels of important and degrees of interest to different people. Some people just never are all the interested in sex. That isn't nessicarily wrong.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
ok well im 16 not getting engaged or atleast not this year im hoping but i just realized my 16 year old friend is engaged and i was wondering is it possible to get engaged under 18 with parents against it??
The Answer
Anyone can walk around and call themselves engaged. You can call yourself 'engaged' just as simply as you can call yourself 'pokadotted'. It's not a legal thing.
But you wont be recognized by the government as affianced (in court or in immigration proceedings as an example) until you are over 18, and you cannot be married under 18 unless you parents consent to it.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
Well, My friend lets call her Judy, is going out with a guy i like but before they went out i dropped hints that i liked him, im guessing he got them because when i walked with Judy, her boyfriend kept smiling at me. but i dont want to be mean and be a little slut so should i lay low for a while and wait or what shall i do? im having a crisis, she is a very kwel person to hang out with and well a nice friend i defintly dont want to be a slut and talkt o him while they are together. so....? help me out here please. and thanks
well all these happened in a week time period.
The Answer
Don't read too deeply into a smile.
For now, just ignore your feelings. If he behaves in a flirty or inappropriate way say "Hey, you are dating my friend, I don’t think that is cool."
It's fine to keep talking to him, just keep it strictly on the friend-level. If he can't keep it strictly on the friend-level, give him a colossal boot in the ass and ignore him until he can.
It’s not slutty to like a guy. The only thing that is wrong is allowing flirting to go on with a guy with a girlfriend. Just make sure there is no flirting and you will do just fine.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
Alright, i think this would be alot easier if i start from the beginning.. sorry if its long, but it might give you a better understanding.
2 and a half years ago i met this boy dylan. i just recently found out that he has liked me ever since we first met. i didnt know this at the time, so during the 2 years i've known him i've just went out w/ a few of the guys he hangs out with.
back in october is when he finally asked me out & i told him yes. he ended up breaking up with me in the middle of november, but he said he still wanted to be really close friends. i dont know if that was just some lame break up line, but i wanted to stay friends too.
in december, dylan told me that he wanted to go back out w/ me, but that his friend jeremiah wanted to go out w/ me also. i told dylan's friend that i didnt know if i wanted to, so we just hung out as friends & got to know each other instead.
then in january they actually got into a fist fight b/c over me & i witnessed it. jeremiah backed out of the fight cause he said he didnt want to fight w/ someone he had so much history with, but dylan is telling everyone that he kicked his ass and that he ran away like a coward and is just talking alot of shit on him. they aren't friends anymore & i feel like this is my fault. i never meant for them to stop being friends.
at the beginning of this month dylan was telling everyone he knew that he was going back out w/ me. but we arent.(btw we go to different schools) & just last week is when he really did ask me back out again. over the weekend i told him i'd think about it, but that too much stuff was going on & i dont want anyone to get in anymore fights and that i think it'd be better if we werent going out and just stayed friends for now. but now today jeremiah told we that dylan is now talking shit on me as well as jeremiah. jeremiah was saying that he heard my name clearly & something about my race(ethnicity), he told me he didnt hear anything else but i dont know if he was just holding back from anything else he heard cause he didnt want me to get hurt, but i really dont care b/c dylan's just saying all this cause i turned him down. or atleast thats what i think.
before me and dylan first started going out, we never really talked. so i never thought he would be the type to lie(he's lied to me about alot of things), go behind your back, or talk shit. i really do still want to be friends with him though & i want him and jeremiah to be friends again, so im thinking maybe if i could talk to him about it & tell him that its really hurting me that he's disrespecting me and just get everything out in the open so that we could resolve all this. do you think this would be a good idea or would it just make the situation worse & use it against me? also, why do guys feel the need to talk shit on a girl that doesnt want to go out w/ them? i told him the reason why, & i thought he would understand. he's liked me for almost 3 years, so why would he do this? is it some kind of ego thing or what? how do i make him stop?
The Answer
Them choosing not to be friends is NOT YOUR FAULT in anyway.
They were deeply immature about the whole thing and disrespectful to eachother. Nothing you do or say will fix that or thier friendship. It's something they need to figure out.
Since they have tried to make you 'the reason' for thier fight (which is just a lame excuse) you trying to help will only make things worse. Rest assured that most people can see right through Dylan's attacks on a girl who rejected him. If anyone mentions what he says about you all you need to say is "I know he's very hurt, but that isn't true." and then let it go.
The best way to make Dylan stop is to ignore him and give him space. Giving Dylan space might also mean giving Jeremiah space and making it clear to him that you no longer want to talk about this subject and that it is between him and Dylan.
It is between him and Dylan. You are just caught in the crossfire. Do not let Dylan or Jeremiah drag you back into the middle of it, either by insulting you as Dylan is trying too, or by running to you with drama stories as Jeremiah is. They both want to keep you involved to enhance thier position in the argument between thme. Leave them both be.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
Is it illegal, if you are living in a college dorm with a roommate, to set up a voice recorder on your own desk to record what is going on in the room while you are not there?
I really need to know!
I'm talking about a digital voice recorder. I found out my roommate did something illegal and I'm trying to get her for it. I need to know if I can use the recording as legitimate evidence for what she did.
The Answer
It does depend a bit on where you live and what the crime was. In some civil cases you would be allowed to do this, and in some counteries the illegal recording (because recording someone without permission is certainly illegal) wouldn't be automatically excluded as evidence. But as a general rule: you can not use it as evidence unless you tell her you will be recording her.
If you are having a problem with a roommate, best to bring up your fears and worries with a don, not to try to be a junior sleuth.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
how long does pot last in your BLOOD system ?
The Answer
THC, which is the part of pot that makes you feel so good, only stays in your blood for a few hours.
However, the other things that drug tests look for are just the by-products of pot, and those things are stored in your body for several days/weeks. That really depends on how much and how often you smoke. Someone you nearly never smokes might have it out of thier body in a few days. A frequent smoker might have it in thier body for a month or more after they have stopped smoking.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
My boyfriend recently admitted to me that he has a biting fetish. Which is cool with me (I like it too) but it got me wondering, is this weird? Also, are there sites about it that might explain why it's a fetish?
The Answer
Wierd. Lord no. So normal some people wouldn't even call it a fetish at all, just good fun.
I doubt you'll find any site explaining 'why' it's a fetish. The study of sex and all it's little varriations, is still taboo for many serious doctors and scientists. There is very little dicussion about why certainly people have certain fetishes.
The only thing you need to know is that it is totally notmal, and it doesn't mean he has sort of twisted mind or mental illness. It's just a variation on sado-masochism, enjoying giving and recieving pain.
If you are unsure about exactly why HE calls it a fetish and just what HIS interest is about, then you need to ASK HIM.
Just admiting you are interested in something isn't enough when it comes to sex. Dig deeper, have another conversation to help you understand oneanother.
(View All Other Answers.)