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Series of problems
(Sorry, it's long. BUT I REALLY NEED HELP!)
Well I'm 17 & my girlfriend is 15. I am currently in college (I started school at an early age)in San Francisco & she's out in Anaheim. I have gotten into some trouble. Therefore, I can't leave school for 5 weeks. & I can't see my girlfriend. While I was out here, she found out things about me that I have never told her. She found out I have a kid, and that I have a criminal record. At first she was mad, but then she forgave me. Well that same week, I was told that if I behave, I can get out of the school in 2 1/2 weeks. I turned out I got into a fight the day after, and so now I'm back to 5 weeks. And my girlfriend got really mad. So mad, that she was about to break up with me. I told her, that I would make up all of the suffering she is going through. I've been with her for almost a month. But we've been best friends since May of last year. And when I was living in Anaheim, I always spent the night at her house. And I know that I am older than her, but we've been together at night. We haven't had sex. But what we have done together is: Dry sex, fingering, and I went down on her. Other than that, nothing else has happened. My parents, don't really like her. And her parents don't like me. All because we're from different backgrounds. She's mexican & I'm white with an Asian stepmom. Anyways, what I want some advice on is:
- What can I do to make up for what she's going through right now?
- How can I deal with her and my family?
- I'm almost turning 18 (in Decemember), is there any laws for being 18 & being with a 15 year old (16 in May)
- I'm ready to have sex with her. But I'm not sure, what she wants. She agreed to dry sex, fingering and me going down on her. And I really love her, and I want to be her first. What can I do.
Thanks in advance.
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first let me say your both getting in deep. if the police were to find out about this you could go to jail trust me i seen it happen where im from. now on the whole parent thing your not dating her parents your dating her so who cares if they dont like you or if your parents dont like her its albout you two but i dont thing you should have sex that is believe it or not statitory rape and you could get some years for it wait till she is atlease 17 years of age. the sex thing you two doing now is just fine i mean what yall like 2 years apart right but wait for the sex thing so you to want get in trouble. to make up for what you have done send her gifts showing her you love her. i wounder though can she come see you, if she can then try and arrange that.
hope i helped be safe
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1.) Stop being a lying scum bag who gets in trouble for dumb reasons. Count your lucky stars that you are with a girl who is either loving enough, or dumb enough to forgive you. You fucked up big time: Millions wouldn't have.
2.) Stop being a lying scum bag who gets into trouble for dumb reasons. They are either not as loving or dumb enough to forgive you for your past behavoir. I don't care what your race is, if my daughters boyfriend lied about having a child and a criminal record, he would no longer be her boyfriend. Period. Behave yourself and earn a bit of thier respect back.
4.)Although in many states it would be fine for a 15 year old and an 18 year old to have intercourse, considering your criminal record and the fact her parents already dislike you I would suggest waiting until May because they could certainly legally seperate you even if they weren't able to file formal charges. In thier shoes, I would be just waiting for you to make a mistake that means I could get you away from my daughter.
3.) Don't have sex with her until you ARE sure what she wants. If she isn't sure, that means NO. What do you do about it? You wait, like a decent person would. If she is game USE BRITH CONTROL and COMDOMS. Don't make her the second teenage mother you've left out there.
EDIT:
A bit of clarification: *Lying* about having a child, is pretty scummy. I honestly can't imagine forgiving someone for that, if only for the sake of a child you just denied! I don't care what the mother thinks of you. Nothing gives you the right, ever, to deny your child. Not even if you never see it.
And clearly you haven't stopped getting into trouble babe if you couldn't leave school because of 'trouble'!
I respect your desire to defend yourself, and I am completely open to idea that you have, or will, change for the better, but you need a serious wake-up call about the way the rest of the world percieves the facts you related here.
Do you really 'know it was wrong', if you don't think your behavoir was scummy? Don't just be sorry, be honest about the what the behavoir was: awful and low to lie about a child. Accept that you have to prove yourself to be different then your behavoir suggests. Say it like it is: My behavoir was the behavoir of a scum bag, but I'm not a scum bag, so I'm not going to act that way anymore.
Let people know you really 'get' how wrong you were, and they will be more willing to forgive.
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