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Twins: He Likes Her?!
I'm a twin. End of story. My twin sister is funny, more confident than me and sometimes I think better looking (people say we look very different). I'm in what will be a long term relationship and already has lasted a year, and I'm very sure that my boyfriend loves the hell out of me, just like I love the hell out of him!
My problem? I've shared everything with my sister for my whole life. Friends, everything. Her and him, they're close friends. Shes always telling him her problems and they talk on a personal scale. They joke around and stuff and sometimes when hes talking to me about like, e.g. when theyve been alone together he's not entirely truthful. Oh, I don't mean anything like they DO anything together, I trust him in that sense. But I get so scared. I can do everything she can do, but I'm not as confident and although I equal her in things like drama I'm kind of the quieter one, who likes a good laugh and whose more academically skilled. I just get so worried that he likes me - and hes said that he used to fancy her - and we're twins! How can he not like her as much as he likes me? we look relatively the same (we're identical but don't like to look the same), she's brighter, more full of life. The other day, although they constantly abuse each other and flirt for fun, he rung her up expecially so he could walk with her to school. I somehow don't think he'd do the same for me. He says I'm the better twin, that I'm worth alot more than her, but he doesn't show it in his actions. What do you think he thinks? What would you feel in his position? I'm confused and probably shouldn't be, am probably overreacting. He can talk as much as he wants with other girls. By my twin? That feels so different. Its like they have a whole kind of different other relationship. Please help.
Thank you, Faye :) ^^
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The truth is they have a jealous sibling relationship. What you may think of as flirting is two siblings getting along. You say that you guys are always competing but that can get kind of lonely. She needs someone like a brotherly type to talk to. He is thinking of ways to help others. Truth be told being better academically will get your farther than anyone anyways because you have a future. When they say that the popular ones will grow up working in fast food places was not lying. I wouldn't be worried but it is ok to feel uncomfortable about it. He is with you and if he wanted her he would be with her. He likes you and no other.
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They DO have a whole different kind of relationship, and that is okay.
It's also okay for your to feel a bit uncomfortable about it and explain that to him.
He shouldn't be misleading you about the time they spend togeather, that would make any women unhappy. Tell him as much and tell him to stop doing it.
Also explain to him that you'd get nervous if he showed any other girl the kind of preferincial treatment he shows your sister (like the private walks and deep emtional talks), but it's espcailly uncomfortable because she is your sister. It's not that you don't trust him. You can trust someone and still feel uncomfortable about something. I trust that my boyfriend is a good skier, but it scares me shitless some of the things he'll do on the slopes.
In the end, this is what he needs to understand: You feel uncomfortable with the friendship he has with your twin, and even though you aren't asking him to change it he does need to respect that the specail bond you have with your sister is the most important thing to preserve, even more important then his friendship with her. He also needs to know that lying to you about them being alone togeather makes the problem worse, not better.
You might try having the same conversation with your sister. It sounds like you are more worried about loosing your special bond with her then you are of her and your boyfriend doing something wrong. Maybe some special sister time will help you feel more secure in that relationship. Frankly, it's the most important one.
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Dear Faye,
Well first I would say maybe you feel a little inferior to her and that is effecting your relationship with your boyfriend. You could possibly just be taking the signs to seriously. But if it douse not cool off and you still feel like something is wrong talk to him about how you feel. Explain to him to just cut back a bit on the flirting and stuff. They can still be friends but you just feel like he isn't spending as much time with you as your twin.
Sincerely Maggie Maclean
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