im 17 years old and i have to have open heart surgery. i has ASD which is atrial septal deffect. in the top two atriums of my heart, i have no wall. the tissue is completely gone. they may have to take out my top two ribs, and break my chest bone. im really scared and the only person i have to tell is 5 hours away. my bf. oh yeah, not to mention. i'm pregnant. but my mom and doctors don't know that. how do i deal with all of this. im not supposed to be stressed out.
Hi. I have read up a little about open heart surgery in relation to ASD from a medical encyclopedia some years back now (I was bored so decided to read a medical encyclopedia). :/ Anyway, first and foremost like ygsgirl had said - you MUST tell your doctor about being pregnant asap! This is VERY important so please do this as soon as you possibly can! Also, telling your mom would be a very good idea. You can do this with your bf there if you prefer and if it will make it easier or do so yourself but I think your mom may prefer to know through you instead of being told by your doctor. As ygsgirl had also said, it will be a great weight off of your chest to let her know too.
As for the operation itself, 'open' heart surgery generally refers to any kind of operation where the chest cavity is opened up to perform an operation on the heart (and doesn't refer specificaly to the actual heart being opened up - depending on the type of surgery to be performed). ygsgirl pretty much summed up what to expect in the operation but feel free to ask for details and questions to your doctor, it's they they are there for. :] I know it's easy for everyone to say not to worry but still, try not to. :] They do these operations many times and they are professionals - you'll be in very safe hands. :]
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If life was so easy then wht else could i ask for...here's my story...my dad died when i was 3 years old....my mom married this other guy...and after which it so happened that i was the non exiting daughter.....my mom dint love me at all coz then she has two more children with this new guy...now i am married to this guy i loved he was rich famous and everything you can ask for....but now there are some problems, coz his family did not accept...me i left my mom coz of this guy and now i facing critising from everyone ....wht do i do...who do i talk with ...cant go back to my mom coz now i think she hates me...every one hates me....they just want to change me. Why any one does not accept me the way i am.??
I think first and foremost I should say no-one ever said life was going to be easy. It never is and I doubt, with how things are delevoping in the world, it will be getting any easier as time goes by.
If you feel you need to get in touch with all these people and try fix things with them then by all means you should try. The worst that can happen is that they won't want to know and if that's the case then it really is their loss. Many people are too proud to admit they are wrong so your mom may never admit she was in the wrong or want to make the first move and come to you, all because of pride. Try calling her sometime just to say hi and see how it goes. Say hello and ask how she is and just say you were thinking about her and wanted to call to ask how she had been and if you can both not be such strangers... see how it goes. As I said the worst can happen is she won't want to know.
Why did your husbands family not accept you? All you can really do here, again, is try to connect with them and try to talk and get along with them. Again, at least you will have tried if nothing more. Maybe even talking to your husband about this might be a good idea and explaining to him how you want to at least try and get along with his family even if they didn't accept you and him being together and see what he says about it and work something out from there. You and him are going to be together now for good (fingers crossed) so his family will need to accept you at some point or another and face the facts of you both being together, whether they like it or not.
As for people wanting to change you, how do you mean they are trying to change you? Sometimes we have to put up with people but straight out changing who you are for people, just for their acceptance, seems like the wring thing to do. They should accept you for who you are. As for why they just don't I have no idea so I can't really shed any light on that, sorry. I really hope you manage to get things fixed and sorted out though. Remember one thing though not everyone hates you, that's never true. It may seem sometimes like everyone does but believe me its never the case. :]
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okay.. i'm 17/f.
I've been dating my boyfriend (19/M) for about three years. We don't have sex all that often, but everytime we do, we use protection and we always check the condom. I'm a week late for my period. I've been this late for my period before. Him and I haven't had sex in a long time. Do you think i should be worried? I know sometimes stress can lead to not getting your period. I'm really stressed because my boyfriend's moving another state away for college, my parents haven't been talking, I'm worried about my job, and my mom keeps asking me if i got my period and that keeps me worried. Do you think i should be worried? Any help is appreciated. =]
Hi.
You've both been very careful (like with making sure the condom is intact and such) so I think it might just be that you are late becuase of stress (very common occurence).
TO put your mind at ease though I would suggest a home pregnancy test just to make sure. IF it does pop up positive bare in mind it's not 100% reliable in which case a visit to the doctor might be a good idea. But overall I think you've nothing to really worry about with how careful you've both been so it will probably be down to just you being under a lot of stress.
Hope things all work out. :]
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3 days ago I was at a graduation party for one of my friends were all hicks and all if you dont figure it out by the story but here, they had a mechanical bull and I rode it a ton the the last three hours I rotated turns with another girl, I have huge bruises all over my legs especially my upper thighs, they are very puffy and knotted, and also keep growing. They are very dark purple with blue lines in them. I have never had a bruise like this before I am a barrel racer and a pole bender and so I hit barrels and poles and have had bruises big like this but none that grow in size should I go to the doctor or should I wait a while longer? Also any hints to cover them up or get rid of the pain would be very helpful because i can barely walk with them.
As you know bruises take a while to show themselves so it could very well be the case here and just howmuch damage you did to your legs is slowly becoming clear. It sounds like a nasty bruise though so I think the best course of action would be to go to your doctors to have them take a look and advise you further - especially since, as you said, they've become very puffy and knotted. The last time I had a bruise like that was on my lower back from being attacked and I was made to have a tetanus shot. :| Either way, there's no harm in popping in to see your doctor just to ensure everything is okay soI suggest doing that for certain. :] As for covering them up that part I'm not really an expert on. You might be able to use some form of make-up or cream but before doing this getting your doctors advice would be advisable (incase putting such stuff on the bruise prevent the healing process and such).
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14/f
this is kinda embassising, but here goes..
ok, so im on a swim team, and i shave down there like once a week or so. my suit would show some hair down there if i didnt.. I usually dont shave all of it, i just leave i little line in the center there, about 1/2 inch wide.. should i shave all of it? is there anyway to reduce the scratching/itching that goes on down there after i shave?? What razor should i use? im currently using shick intuition.. I know that there will be a stubble, but is there anyway to reduse that?
and i was wondering if anyone knew the age you have to get laser removal.. should i try it?? what about waxing down there?? i herd that it hurts really bad, and im very sensitive to pain.. especially down there..lol
sorry i have a lot of questions..
anything will help thanks!!
Hello.
I don't really see why you'd have to remove all of your hair down there unless it's what you want to do (it's down to personal preference I guess). As long as there's one showing when your in your swimming costume you should be ok (since that could get very embaressing) so either way it's really up to you. You can leave that little bit you mentioned or remove it all - up to you. You could even remove all and then just see how you feel about it and if you like it like that you can keep it that way. :]
The only other thing I wanted to comment on was the waxing - yes it would hurt - a lot. At least it does from everyone who's ever done it has told me. As for laser treatment, many places have quoted as the person wanting it to be over the age of 12 (so you should be okay for most places to get it done). Cost will vary greatly so I can't really quote you on this because depending on a numberof factors the amount of treatments required will vary (generally people require 5-7 treatments but bare in mind this is for the more common areas like upper lip, chin, bikini line, arms, legs and underarms. Each place you check at will vary on this so the best thing to do is to call around at all the places in your area who offer laser treatment (you'll need to call them and check they will do treatment for the area on your body where you want it done since I'm not sure how many will and how many won't) and ask them to send you all the details they have. Don't let them make appointments and such at this stage or try to get you to pop in and push you into taking a treatment. First and foremost call around everywhere and check out their material they send you as well as prices and such. :]
That's about all I can really answer I'm afraid - the other questions I can't really supply you with an answer for. :] Hope I was able to help a little though.
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u answered my question before and i don't no if this is the inbox but i dont know where else to go.
um yea I'm seriously thinking about seeing a therapist but I'm still really nervous. But yea today wasn't that good of a day. Last night I got in a fight with my ex boyfriend so I was in a bad mood waking up. And then when I came into school someone came up to me and was like I heard you hooked up with "Bob" so are you planning on having sex with him this weekend. And I know you said to ignore those people but it just gets to me. And if I were to go to a therapist I don't think I could tell her about the sex stuff without feeling uncomfortable. You know?
If you honestly don't feel like replying to all of my replies you don't have to. I just liked your advice the best.=]
Hi again. Yup you got the message into my inbox. :]
It's hard not to let people like that get to you (people who talk as well as ex's) but don't let them. More than anything else their really not worth gettin stressed over. As for what they said about Bob, people talk so obviously rumours have gone around about what you did and a lot of the guys probably think you'll be the same way with them now too. It's a dangerous circle to fall into becuase then all you ever seem to attract is the jerks and assholes but hang in there. :] As long as you stick it out and not fall back into the self destructiveness (if that's even a word) then you should be okay and it will pass and pretty soon they will all forget about it. When they see that their words are having no reactions with you, it's another way they will just eventually stop. Just give it time and hang in there. What was the argument about with your ex, if you don't mind me asking? With everything you have going on at the moment all I can say is try to put that on hold so you can deal with the other things first, you obviously have a lot of things on your shoulders to deal with at the moment.
Seriously, don't worry about seeing a therapist. The best thing about therapists is that if you don't like the one that you go to see you can go to a different one (unless it's a free one you're seeing I think) but generally therapists are there to listen to you and try to help you see things more clearly. It takes time though to put trust into a complete stranger especially when its a therapist so don't feel that you have to go there and right away tell them everything that's been going on. Start slowly, and from the beginning. Start with what's going on at home and what happen with your parents or even with your boyfriend. Go gradually. If he/she asks something you feel uncomfortable with then say you prefer not to go into that specific thing at the very moment, if thats how you feel about it. Don't feel like you have to say about the sexual stuff because you don't - give yourself and the therapist time and you'll find it easier and easier to talk to them and eventually you may tell them about it. Also, as far as I know therapists are not allowed to discuss anything you tell them with anyone so you should be safe on your parents not finding out about anything you tell the therapist but for reassurance you can ask them to be certain. Any ideas as to when you might be seeing one yet or are you still very nervous and undecided about it? I really hope you do go becuase it will certainly do you a lot of good. I'd hate to see someone so nice having to deal with everything thats going on all by yourself. Obviously I'll always be here to chat whenever you want, so you've a friend here too. :] Also, I don't mind at all replying to you I'm just sorry it took almost a week to reply. :( Next time I'll try not to keep you waiting for a reply so long - promise. =] Feel free to write though and let me know how things are and what's going on. As I said, you've a friend here if you ever need to chat about anything. Just remember to remind me who you are since these inbox messages don't say who's writing or anything so only way for me to know it's you is when you remind me. :P I certainly hope this week past has been a bit better for you but do let me know how things have been going with you. Take care. :]
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what is the movie .45 about and is it any good?
I've not seen this movie yet (just not had the chance to download it yet really) but it's gotten some really good reviews that I've seen.
As for plot and such I think the best thing to do is to check the following site out:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0259822/
That should give you all the information you need about the movie as well as reviews by people who have seen it and if you have any specific questions about the movie (before or after seeing it) they have a forum board on there too which id very useful. You have to register with imdb.com to view the forum sections (they appear right at the bottom of the page of the movie you're looking up) but it's free to register and well worth doing if you're into movies.
A particular threadof interest in the forums might be one called 'Need further info on this movie before I attempt to watch it' which you should have a look at, it may give you a little insight into what the movie is about and the kind of content the movie contains (since it seems to contain some strong violence and such).
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there this boy that i liked for a while and well i found out that he had move and i was shock and everything and i still have feelings for him. So how do i get over him what should i do.
There's only one way to get over someone you like and that's to give it time and to move on. Sitting around waiting will probably get you no where because they may never return. In this case you had never told him how you feel? All you really can do is try and contact him somehow to let him know how you feel but then you also have to remember that he's also moved away now, you'd have to take that into account if you really want to now tell him (hemay ask why you waited until he left before you told him and the whole long distance thing may not even appeal to him).
Other than that the only thing you can do is move on and give yourself some time. Forgetting him will not happen over night so don't try doing that becuase it just won't work. I'm not saying forget about how you felt about him but to just move on and get on with things. You may end up meeting someone else soon who you might like even more that this guy - you just never know. But the key is to just give yourself time to get over him. Good luck and I'm sorry that he moved away. :(
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I have an attraction to older men. Like today, I went to my uncles party and met one of his friends... An older guy who turned out to be really cool and easy to talk to. We had a lot in common, music wise and I just found myself really attracted to him...
But this is common for me, I usualy tend to go after older men. Men who are much much older than me. I'm only 19 and this guy had a 16 year old son already, So i'm guessing he was maybe around 40...
I'm not talking like old wrinkled men either.. so dont think im crazy. lol
Anyway, is this normal & what could be the reason behind it?? cause 20 year old guys just don't do it for me.
Everyone has their preferences and this might just be yours - it might really just be as simple as that. :] On the other hand it could be something to do with past relationships. If you've been in past relationships with people your own age and found them to be jerks it may have just put you off and instead prefer guys who are a lot older therefore a lot more stable/mature.
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My whole life I've been told and thought I'm stupid. Because I'm not school-book smart. I don't get good grades in the "smart subjects" like science, math and so on. I am so sick of believing this. I'm a different type of smart. I know I can make something of myself.
I am especially good at 3 things; public speaking & reaching out to people, languages (I know 4 different languages and intend on learning several more) and I sympathize, more than anything. People always turn to me because of that, I long to help. More than anything.
I've researched at least a hundred different professions in my attempt to find a major that will equip me with the right tools to help save the innocent from the corrupt and ultimatley change the world. I need a profession that will make me come alive. I have a picture of myself speaking infront of thousands of people, touching their hearts, or working at a homless shelter, somehow helping those who have been used, or anything of that kind. But in BIG levels, it wouldn't mean anything to me as a doctor or anything like that. It's not the kind of thing that would make me come alive, it wouldn't matter to me. I don't want to help one person at a time, I want to help thousands.. at once. I want to do something that would end homelessness and stimulate world peace!
I am compassionate and am able to provide stability in people's lives when they are shaken up. I am 16 years old, female, and more than anything.. I want to do something with my life.
No one believes in me, because I am not suited for the typical "good jobs" I will never have the grades to become a Lawyer, Doctor, Journalist or any of the sort.
Help me, what can I become? And how do I get there?
Thank you so much! And please, don't read this and think "what a dreamer, everyone thinks they'll save the world.. this one doesn't even have good enough grades.. she doesn't even know how to spell" Please, I have enough people thinking that way, if you can't help me, fine. But I'm begging you, don't think like that.
That was very touching to read. I back what Michele said so I'll try not to repeat but I will say never let what anyone says about you phase you or what you want. Being able to talk to a lot of people all at once is never something you can learn from a text book, it's a skill you're born with. I've tried learning various languages and have always failed (even at learning my 'own' language) because again I just don't have the skill to be able to learn languages and keep that information there. You're very gifted and you've a big heart to want to help people - your an inspiration because it's people like you that show there may just still be hope for mankind. :]
Also, don't ever think what your hopes are nothing but dreams. It was only a dream (maybe even a foolish one) that could fly through the sky, that we can talk or even see people on the other side of the world, that mankind would reach out beyond our own planet and into space. All those things were dreams someone once had and now they are a reality becuase someone didn't give up. Never give up on your dreams.
"Just don't give up on trying to do what you really want to do. Where there is love and inspiration, I don't think you can go wrong."
-Ella Fitzgerald.
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is it bad to get a boner when w/ a girl you like?
Nope, not at all. Unless they see it which might be quite embaressing. :] It's perfectly natural to have that happen when you're with someone you like - your emotions run wild as well as your feelings and your mind wonders and, it just happens. Don't feel bad about it at all I can safely say it's probably happen to a LOTof guys - me included.
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I'm going out with a guy right now. he's a good guy and would never do anything to hurt me, at least not on purpose. we get in wrestling matches sometimes. most times i start it, and we're just tickling each other or something. it usually ends with me pinned but he gets off when i tell him enough. the only issue i have is that usually when i get home i see that i have bruises on my arms. i've gotten quite a few. i've shown him and he's apoligized, yet it keeps happening. i'm just not sure if that's abuse. my moms seen them and my friends and they're all suspicious of him. i tell them it's just accidents, but i can see they don't believe me. i'm wondering if i'm rationalzing it too much or if it is nothing like i keep telling people
Hi.
I know a lot of people who bruise very easily -- like extremely easily. As I'm sure you know everyone is very different and just so, people bruise different. I hardly ever bruise unless it's something very strong (like being shot by a paintball gun which was the last time I had any bruises about two years ago).
Abuse is a very loose term and it doesn't really define what 'abuse' really is. In a way it might more accurately be referred to as assult or maybe eveb ABH (actual bodily harm) under British law but bare in mind here that it was through an innocent act (you were both playing) and accidents do happen so it may be nothing more than just an accident.
The best way to look at it is this way - do you think he was abusing or 'beating' you? If you say yes then there might be a problem but again, it was you who initiated the events that led to it. It might be a good idea to point this out to your friends as well as point out that you just bruise easily. You seem to know what the truth is but you are being misled (for lack of a better word - sorry) by everyone elses suspicions.
As I said, it could all just be down to you bruising easily and nothing more. :]
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Wow! I thought that lil' girls were so cute! But now I know that my cousin is hotter than me because she's bigger and taller?
Not necessarily. All guys have different tastes in girls so just becuase one group of guys think your cousin is hotter than you doesn't mean there isn't another group out there who think exactly the same way about you as well.
Besides, lets say for arguments sake she might be, should it even matter?
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15/f
I have a few questions about applying to jobs:
If I went to like a drug store or something, would I ask for an application or would I ask if they're hiring first?
Oh and If I want to a restaurant, who would I ask for an application? (non-fast food)
Hi.
Best thing to do is ask them if they have any vacancies or if their hiring at the moment. If they are then you can ask them if you can get an application form to apply for the job. It would be pointless to ask for an application form when they may not even be hiring. :]
As for a place like a restaurant the best person to ask might be the person at the front (some have a person who seats everyone or checks reservations). If there isn't someone like this you may even find a member of staff wondering about in which case excuse yourself and then ask them if they know if the place is hiring. They'll probably say they'll check with their manager and ask you to wait after which they'll either bring you out an application form or the manager/supervisor may come out to talk to you him/herself. If you know they are hiring already then just kindly say you heard about them hiring and you've popped in to pick up an application form. :]
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i downloaded a movie good quality and stuff but when i play it ! it doesn't have sound! what can i do? i downloaded john tucker must die
It could be the format of the movie. I recommend downloading a free player called VLC Media Player (www.videolan.org) and after installing that, try playing it through that. I've had some problems with movies not working with sound though various players before (usually a codec problem of some sort I would imagine) but then playing it through VLC usually works perfectly.
If it doesn't work through there then the best thing to do is download another version. As the other person said, sometimes people upload poor quality stuff including stuff without sound - especially on limewire.
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14/f
i have 2 younger brothers, and i have a puppy. i love my puppy and play with her in all my free time. and i always take care of her. well, i was out late last night, so i slept in this moring, and like woke up at 10. well, the only reason i even woke up then, was because my little brother, who is 9, had his friends over. and they were in my office, and the dog was annoying them, i guess, so, my brother took her, and we have this gate. like a baby gate.. and hes not much taller then it. and he just tossed her over it. and she ended up breaking her leg. which, isnt good because shes still a puppy, also that costs alot of money, its costing us like over 1000. espically since, we took her to the emergency veterain place. so they charge like 250 bucks just for immediate attention. anyways, how do i make sure my dog is safe? i mean, i cant stay up all hours of the day. and i cant be home every single second. yano? so what should i do?
The best thing you can do is probably try talking to your parents about it and about how it's hard for you to be there 24/7 and not needing to have to worry about your brother doing something like that again. Since your brother is only 9 he didn't know better but then it falls onto your parents to talk to him about what he did and emphasis it's not the way you handle a dog/puppy and what he did was wrong. You may even want to talk to him about it yourself and just let him know you want to be sure she's in safe hands when you're not around and you want to trust him in being able to do that. He may already feel bad about it though after finding out it had a broken leg so you may not even need to do anything other than just talk to your parents about the situation and if she will be in safe hands from here on when you're not around.
I love and adore dogs so I hope she will make a very fast recovery. :]
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What can happen if you are caught underage smoking?
At my local shopping mall a lot of us from my school (we are 16) and many others our age smoke in the designated smoking area and the security guards see us but what can happen? Can they do anything?
One time they just came over and asked us what we were doing out of school. i live in Australia by the way. I'm 16/f.
Thanks
If they are just internal security for the shopping mall there's not really much they can do other than maybe ask for some form of ID (depending on how old you actually have to be to smoke over there) or simply confiscate the cigs and ask you to leave the area/mall. Security guards are NOT at the same status as police officers socan not give you a caution as such but they may warn you in which case if you're caught again you will be banned from the mall. Alternatively, if they really can be bothered, they may call the police to assist them in which case you could get into some trouble (a warning, fine etc).
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for a school warm up tape we wanted to make it so that it was one long song where we could cut our favorite parts of songs and only have that part play then go into another favorite part of another song. is there a program we can download to be able to do that? and does anyone know any good warm up songs?
Try a program called Internet Audio Mix. You can download the trial version of this software from www.acoustica.com. Once you have the software installed all you need to do is drag and drop traks into the program to be able to edit them (edit and cut the tracks) and then mix as many as you want into one continuous track which you can then save off as a wav file.
The wave file itself will be huge in size so you can either use another program to convert it into am MP3 file or alternatively use Nero to burn it to a disk and it 'should' convert the file for you into the correct type before burning. I'm not sure though if all Nero versions do this.
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ok im only 15 and right below my ribs i have pain. its not like a stomach ache its like when i move around i have a little bit of pain. i have been sick for awhile and a little dizzy sometimes. what do you think this is???
Your description of the symptoms is very vague to be able to make any kind of guess on what it might be to be honest. I also doubt there is anyone on here who would be able to properly diagnose you with what the problem might be.
If you have been ill for a while now and and in addition you have this pain as well as dizzy spells it could be something worth while checking up with your family doctor. Just to be on the safe side to make sure it's nothing serious.
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I had a friend who i've been friends with for a few years. Suddenly out of nowhere, he told me he liked me & things went downhill from there. We remained friends & had a good time talking/joking around. A few months later, he changed. Randomly he began getting mean & just an unlikeable person. He was saying every argument we gotten into was my fault, how I wasn't trying hard enough to be his friend, wouldn't give him the time of day, didn't seem like I wanted to be his friend anymore etc. I do not even know to this day where he came up with all of that but he did. Then he would say lets not be friends anymore & I tried talking to him a few times & he would appologize, say how much he cares, & just be friendly again. Then randomly, he would go back into lets not be friends. One time he did that & he was completely serious about it & blocked me. We do not live near each other or whatever so I just let him go. He unblocked me & I asked him why we couldn't fix things & he said he was not a forgiving person or whatever and that he wanted nothing to do with me. This was all completely random & out of nowhere. I left him on my buddylist, but I knew we would not talk anymore. Recently, he's signed on & i am not blocked anymore & neither are my friends [he blocked them as well]. I'm not sure why he did this & were randomly unblocked. Does that mean anything? I obviously should not be friends with someone who treats other people badly, but why would someone go from totally caring about a friend, to not caring at all in a matter of days? Any opinions/ideas? Thanks!
Hello.
I've a feeling, from his sudden change, the only thin this had to do with you was the fact you had not felt the same way as him when he had said he liked you and becuase you didn't feel the same he felt it was your fault or he was just hurt and couldn't be friends with you because of his conflicting feelings towards you.
If a guy likes you (anyone that is) it does become very hard for that guy to be nothing but friends with that person. It's like trying to ignore all your feelings for that person and it's not really all that easy for some people to do. I've been in the same situation but I got over it to the point I could never really see myself with this specific girl in any other way other than friends becuase we had been friends for so long. The strange thing was she was the one who just made no effort afterwards at all so I ended up deleting her number. Obviously this friend of yours had tried to push his feelings he had for you aside so as to remain friends and nothing more and by the looks of it, it's not working. His solution to this was that he just decided to push you away permanently becuase he can't deal with all the mixed emotions - at least that's what I think it might be. I could be wrong though and it might be something completely opposite of what I said in which case I've no idea at all on how to explain his reactions and behaviour.
He may just have unblocked you after all this time to see if you or any of your friends talk to him. He was the one who was having the hard time dealing with things and he instead blamed you and how you wasn't a good friend because it's always easier to blame someone else instead of coming to terms with our own faults and issues. I think he may have had some time to think about things and since realised he was the one who was in the wrong so decided to unblock you all in the hopes you will apologize or maybe even make the first move to try and talk to him (comes down to pride - he doesn't want to make the first move). Or it might even be just so he can see if you all have him added still or not. Could be any combination of those to be honest.
"And the Devil did grin, for his darling sin is pride that apes humility."
-Samuel Taylor Coleridge.
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